


Redemption (The Road to Alexandria)

by LeahPensotti



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, F/M, Family, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 101,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeahPensotti/pseuds/LeahPensotti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna Marber crosses paths with Rick's group after the stand-off at Grady Memorial. She must choose either live in fear in the hospital as a ward  or take her chances with the group of strangers. </p>
<p>Follows the show after "Coda" and then the comic books as the story goes on. I do not own any of the characters from the books or the show. I only own Anna Marber.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Polite Society.

  
She had heard the term many times growing up. Mostly at the Christmas Cotillion in Savannah when she was introduced to the so-called "polite society" when she came out as a debutante in her 19th year.

  
Anna Leigh Marber.

Mrs. Anna Leigh Marber.

It felt like a lifetime ago.

  
Dawn Lerner, who was roughly the same as she was, told Anna at their first meeting that she should spare her "the Scarlett O'Hara and Steel Magnolia uppity bullshit."

  
That was before the bomb, before her husband Phillip, a doctor at Grady Memorial had died.

Since then, Anna passed the time avoiding Dawn's darting glares and passive aggressive abuse and worked in the kitchens, feeding whoever in debt whatever they could cook up. She did her best to be invisible, though the idea tended to be imperfect. Someone always noticed. Someone always took something in some manner.

  
The day the exchange went down, there was a charge in the air. Pins and needles. Frayed nerves. Dawn wanted her officers back.

  
Scissors in shoulder. Gunshots and blond hair. Dawn Lerner's last stand.

  
Their horror in their eyes. Those who had come to save their friends. Something stirred in Anna's stomach. Something asked her to rally and move and be brave.  
So when the man announced that he would take anyone who wanted to leave the coldness of the hospital and whoever wanted to leave step forward...Anna didn't hesitate.

  
Polite society was dead and gone.  
But somehow, hope remained.

Once outside the hospital, no one spoke to Anna, but she bore witness to more pain and grief than she had experienced in some time. This group was connected, there was no power struggle, and no lording over one another. Those without power in Grady had learned to shut off their emottions. They learned to merely exist.

  
There was a fire truck and other vehicles they took from the hospital, she and Noah were the only defectors. They were the only ones who stepped out of the hospital for more freedom...or danger...

  
She watched as they buried their dead. She watched as they mourned. They had traveled fifty miles north of Atlanta's ruins before they circled the wagons to make camp. Anna sat beside Noah, shivering in the thin, gray hospital scrubs Dawn had doled out to her wards. She watched as the man who liberated them talked to his own, a few threw her furtive glances over their shoulders.

  
"They've seen a lot. They've been out here a while. I know they seem scary."  
Anna looked at Noah and nodded, "Yeah. But not as scary as that hospital. Not tricking people into indentured servitude. Not oppression based on whatever one crazy bitch had in her head. At least they care about their people."

  
"Rick's gonna want to ask you some questions. Be honest with your answers."  
Rick. The one with the Colt revolver. The one who ushered her out of the hospital by the elbow. The haunted one.

  
"What kind of questions?"

  
She didn't have to wait too long to find out, because Rick approached. Noah excused himself and Rick didn't speak right away. Anna felt her eyes widen a bit in anticipation.

  
"What's your name?"

  
"Anna. Anna Marber."

  
"How did you end up at Grady?"

  
He was blunt, to say the least. Anna shook off the lack of courtesies and answered, "My husband was a doctor there. Before the bomb. Before..."

  
Rick sighed heavily, he seemed to know exactly where she was leading, "Anna...how many walkers have you killed?"

  
"Walkers...the dead? Three. On our way to Atlanta."

  
"What about the living? Have you killed any of the living?"

  
She felt her eyes glass over, like her stomach fell out of her bottom. The living? She hadn't meant to...

  
"Three weeks...after the bomb...after my husband. I miscarried." She felt herself shake with the memory...violent and unforgiving.

  
The man with the Colt revolver paused and looked at her square in the eyes, "That wasn't your fault."

  
"I..."

  
"Anna," Rick put a hand on her shoulder, "get something to eat. Get some sleep. Sasha has the first watch. We leave at first light."

  
Anna did mostly what Rick advised. She ate a little, but didn't sleep. She sat next to the fire while Tyreese and Sasha kept watch. She felt alone, mostly because all that she knew in this new world was back at Grady Memorial for good or ill. Soon, she had a bit of company in the form of Rick's adolescent son, Carl and his baby sister Judith.

  
A baby. Rick was protecting a baby. One that would have been close to her own baby's age, had it been born. Anna was in awe, and also quite emotional. One evening with this group and she had felt more than she had allowed herself in over a year.

  
She hadn't lied to Rick. When she first found out she was pregnant, Phillip and Anna were both elated. And then the outbreak. And then the bomb. When Phillip died, she prayed that she and they baby would, too. That this new, death-ravaged world was too much and too dangerous to bear.

  
Her prayers were only sort of answered. And she felt responsible.

  
Carl comforted Judith and tried to keep her quiet so whatever lurked in the night would not stir. He must have seen the look on Anna's face and asked plainly, "Haven't seen a baby in a while?"

  
"No. Not since the early days of the outbreak."

  
"What did you do? You know, before?"

  
She felt a small smile play at her lips, "Nothing really. I was a housewife. I played tennis and volunteered a lot. Nothing useful. I did go to college though. My husband was a orthopedic surgeon. They called him into Grady to help with the hospital when the city was overrun."

  
"Did you know Beth?"

  
Beth. The fragile little blond that Dawn tormented. The fragile little blond who acted in defiance of Dawn's orders for Noah to return in her stead. The fragile little blond they just buried.

  
Anna shook her head, "No. By the time she got there I learned not to talk too much. I stayed out of the way as best as I knew how. I'm sorry about your friend, though. She seemed very loved."

  
Carl nodded and they were joined by two figures stepping out of the woods. Both witnesses to the horror in the hallway. The man had carried Beth's small body out of the hospital and the woman had been the last patient that Dawn Lerner had "saved."

  
Carl introduced them as Carol and Daryl. Daryl brooded and remained quiet while Carol made polite, apocalypse appropriate conversation with her. One question appeared to be of utmost importance, "Do you have any skills?"

  
Anna smiled in spite of herself, "I have a rapier wit. I am well acquainted with guns, my Daddy was a card carrying NRA member. I can sew. I cooked in the hospital. My husband taught me basic first aid. I can give stitches."

  
Carol nodded while Daryl grunted in her direction, "Yup. Wasp-y Beaver Cleaver shit. Don't worry, we'll dirty up your hands real quick."

  
"I'm not scared. Put me to work."

  
Daryl shrugged off with his cross bow over his shoulders. Anna felt Carol's hand on her arm, "His bark is worse than his bite, but both can be bad. Losing Beth has been a lot for him."

* * *

 

Rick slumped against the side of the fire truck. Abraham told him about D.C. The things that happened at the hospital. Burying Beth.

  
How much humanity did he have left? How little did he have to lose before becoming a full fledged monster?

  
He questioned fighting for Noah's freedom. He questioned bringing along Father Gabriel and the girl...this Anna. She reeked of appearances and social graces of manicures and kitten heels. Time gone by. How was she gonna make it in this world?  
He recognized the look in her green eyes as the one he saw in his own. Haunted.

  
Rick figured he had a bit of humanity left. Some part of a soul. He wanted to protect his own. He took Noah, Father Gabriel and Anna into his fold. if he was heartless there would be none of that.

He looked toward the fire. To where his children sat with Carol and Anna and he approached slowly.

* * *

 

"My Daddy loved The Band. You know that song, "The Weight?" He said that Levon Helm had the best damn voice of any man. So he named me Anna Leigh. Thank God he passed up the name "Fanny". "

Anna saw Carol stifle a chuckle with the back of a long hand full of graceful fingers . She felt a smile pull on the corners of her lips. That lonely feeling had gone for the moment.

Rick strode slowly to them, and found that Carl and Judith had fallen into an easy sleep near the fire. Anna pulled her knees to her chest and avoided direct eye contact with the man who she felt knew all of her secrets and with one question saw the shape of her soul.

Carol told Rick she was going to check in on Maggie and Michonne and left Rick and Anna in silence by the fire. 

  
Rick spoke after a few minutes, "I'm sorry. I ask everyone those questions. It helps show morality. I didn't mean to...drag up your past."

  
Anna shrugged, "Sometimes it's good to feel things. Especially in this reality. What we have left of it, anyway. I don't think anyone in this group has had it easy. I'm not delicate, Rick."

  
They sat in silence for moments, until sleep finally drifted Anna away. She vaguely heard him say "I never said you were delicate, Anna".

Sun up came quickly. Too quickly. Anna didn't realize just how tired she was and how much energy you expend by taking life and opportunities by the balls. While the camp was packing up, she thought about clean clothes, pajamas, guacamole and chips with red wine and all of the other things she was hoping to encounter again in the future.

"Dad wanted me to bring you this."  
She turned slowly to see Carl holding the hilt of a .45 out to her carefully. Anna hesitated and accepted it in the same careful manner.

  
"Thanks, kid. Tell your Dad thanks, too."

  
"You sure you know how to use that?" Anna gave Carl a small nod and she checked the safety and put it in the waistband of her scrubs. She was handier with a baseball bat, but this would do. She hadn't held a weapon of any sort since leaving for Atlanta.

  
"Hey Carl, give the girl a break. Go pack up Judith for me."

  
Michonne stood before her, nothing but tough and formidable. She held out her hand to Anna and offered her some almonds.

  
"Thank you." She accepted a few and tried not to look too eager about consuming them.

  
"We're gonna be hitting the road soon. You and Noah will be with me, Rick, Carl and Judith. Probably make a run for supplies. Anything on your wish list?"

  
Anna nodded, "Clothes. A jacket and boots. A baseball bat if you come across one. Maybe something to read?"

  
Michonne gave her an unreadable look, "A baseball bat?"

  
"My weapon of choice. I used to have a helluva swing in high school. I'm a bit more...confident with it."

  
Michonne gave her a nod, "I get that. Be ready to go."

They'd been in the car for an hour when Judith began to fuss. Anna watched from the back seat as Rick looked down at the gas gauge and realized that soon, they would have to find a place to stop. He motioned out of the car window to Abraham in the fire truck that they would be pulling off soon.

  
The closest off ramp had a few gas stations and stores to syphon and cull from, including a food mart and a Dollar General Store. They parked in the gas station lot. Abraham and Rick were going to syphon off gas, while Maggie, Glenn and Daryl went for food and the others were going with Michonne and Carol in to the Dollar General while Noah, Carl and Tyreese kept watch over the vehicles, Eugene and Judith.  
Anna followed Michonne closely, gun in hand.

Two of the dead ambled their way and Michonne dispatched them with her katana without flinching. They waited while Michonne and Carol cleared the store , felling two more walkers in the process. The store was in disarray, but moderately stocked.

  
Michonne started loading up on essentials for Judith, whatever diapers and clothes that would work. Carol went to the toiletries and first aid, getting pain relievers, medicines, bandages and rubbing alcohol.

  
Anna went straight to the clothes. She needed something warmer and offered more protection than the damned hospital scrubs. She filled a plastic bag with the basics, cheap jeans, two t-shirts , sweatpants, a sweatshirt and a package of underwear and socks. No boots to be seen. No jackets.

  
Not caring who saw, she grabbed another pair of jeans and a navy t-shirt and shimmied out of the scrubs in the middle of the aisle. Once dressed, she moved on to other aisles and met up with Carol near the Toiletries. Together they found hair brushes and ties, tooth brushes and two tubes of toothpaste and one last six pack of bar soap.

  
It felt weird, to scavenge. It felt odd not having to check out and swipe your debit card on a machine. Before vacating the store, Anna snuck into the office supply aisle and nabbed two composition books and a package of ink pens. If she couldn't find a book to read, she wanted to write. She wanted to keep her mind fresh some how.

  
Tara and Rosita, who Anna had not encountered much, came from the food aisles with bags of rice, canned goods and sealed containers of nuts. They looked like kids on Christmas.

  
"Not a bad haul here!" Tara exclaimed to Michonne and Carol.  
Carol nodded, "Let's hope the others found as much."

* * *

 

Rick and Abraham managed to fill up the two cars and put a little more gas in the fire engine. They syphoned off gas from two other damaged cars and filled up a gas cans with almost 25 gallons of fuel for just in case.

  
"So you're worried about Noah and the girl? I don't think that they could be any more useless than Eugene." Abraham rumbled to Rick in a good natured tone.

  
"The girl, Anna, she hasn't been outside of that hospital since she and her husband went to Atlanta at the start of the outbreak. She hasn't seen what it has become on the outside."

  
Abraham looked thoughtful, "I don't think she is clueless, Rick. Besides, if she came with us to escape whatever regime ruled in that hospital, just think about what was happening inside those doors. She wasn't safe there. She'd rather risk it out here. Seems kinda brave to me."

  
The group from the Dollar General emerged first carrying bags and bags of supplies. When they started to pack up the vehicles, Michonne made her way past rick and into the gas station store.

  
"There's nothing in there, Michonne," Rick called to her.

  
She unsheathed her sword and shrugged, "You just need to know where to look."

  
Daryl, Maggie and Glenn returned with more cans and bags of rice from the food mart when Michonne walked out of the gas station with a long, wooden baseball bat in her hands. She presented it to Anna with a smile.

  
"Gas station owners always keep bats behind the counter."

  
Anna smiled and thanked Michonne, and Michonne pointed to a walker staggering slowly in their direction, "Maybe you should break it in?"

  
The girl nodded and approached the walker while Rick drew his revolver just in case.  
He watched as she swung at the walker's head and made full, hard contact making his head dangle from his neck with a sickening sound. Anna continued to swing and beat the walker's body until it toppled down and stopped moving.

  
Rick saw her shaking with rage and adrenaline and watched as she took a breath and straightened her posture. When she turned to walk back to the group, her new clothes were speckled with dark blood and rot. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and said, "That was oddly enjoyable."

  
And in spite of himself, Rick Grimes felt one corner of his mouth pull into a smirk.

* * *

Anna rode shotgun after the supply run. It had been over a year that she had been in a car, let alone in the front seat. She remembered seeing dogs hang their heads out of windows of their owners cars, and imagined that she looked the same way.

  
As the caravan drove north, Noah and Carl snoozed in the back seat and Michonne tended to a sleepy Judith. Anna and Rick didn't talk for an hour until she started rummaging through the glove compartment of the car.

  
She found road maps of the mid-south and sunglasses, a pocket Gideon's containing the four Gospels and a thick binder of compact discs. Most of them being country, religious or southern rock.

  
"This person had really limited tastes. Pretty predictable."

  
Rick smirked in her direction and she shut the binder of music, "I don't think I asked...but where are we headed?"

  
"Washington D.C...I figure if there is any sort of government left, it would be there. I'm not sure really what to expect anymore except death and decay."

  
Anna nodded silently, "I hope it is better than Atlanta. That place went to shit pretty quickly and just got worse. I'm wary of anyone with perceived power or any sort of authority. They've all turned into barbarians, rapists and overlords."

  
"Did they..." Rick looked at her with what only could be described as compassionate anger.

  
Anna nodded, "At the hospital...one male cop tried. Dawn, though a monster herself, stopped him. Everything was fine when Phil was alive. But once the bomb...I mostly got hit a lot. Dawn liked to make her wards her personal whipping boys. Some women weren't as lucky though..."

  
She could see Rick seethe and simmer beneath the surface. The new world had worn him down, too.

  
"Bastards."

  
Anna studied him silently. Rick kept his eyes on the road, but she saw a million emotions colliding across his face. He scared her. But not in the same way as the folks in the hospital had. She saw Rick struggling between hope and utter despair.

"Yeah. Total bastards." She agreed in earnest and went back to flipping through the CDs. Towards the back, she found a copy of "The Last Waltz" concert album by The Band. She felt her father's ghost and chose the second disc to pop in the car stereo.

  
The familiar intro played and Levon Helm launched into singing "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" and Anna whispered along to the lyrics about the starving southerners at the end of the Civil War. The song always confused her about just what they were trying to say. Anna felt hot tears tumble down her cheek and brushed them away defiantly.

"Take what you need and then leave the rest, but they should never have taken the very best..."

  
She felt his eyes on her and Anna turned to meet him head on, naked in grief and tears streaming. She couldn't utter a single, solitary word. She felt like she had been caught red handed in the wrong.

* * *

 

Rick had no words. It had been a long time since he had let himself feel anything more than anger. He had wept a lot at the beginning...but now, too much had happened.

Tears were spilling from her eyes hot and fast, but she didn't turn away from him. In the short two days he had known her, this was the third time he had seen who she really was. The vulnerable, honest and emotional part.

  
The girl had zero poker face.

  
They shared such an intense look that Rick realized he was heading directly into a walker and he had to swerve around it pretty violently. Carl and Noah woke up and Judith started whining from fear.

  
"Is everything ok dad?" Carl asked, he sounded a little spooked.

  
Rick nodded, "It's fine. Just wasn't paying attention."

  
The car settled back down again, and it's passengers in the back seat talked quietly about candy...of all things. Carl and Michonne went through this conversation often. Rick saw Anna out of his periphery. The tears had stopped, but he could feel the tension between them.

  
She looked terrified of him. And maybe she should be. He was far from the gentle family man he was before he got shot and fell into a coma. He had done things that in the normal world, would've been criminal. But they had to be done. The living these days had become more monstrous than the dead.

  
He believed Anna knew that to be true, after her stay at Grady Memorial.  
If he were in Dawn's place, the man that laid a hand on Anna would have suffered dearly. That was inexcusable. A lot of things had changed, but that hadn't. Instead, Dawn had hit her, taken her frustrations out on her. He wondered if she had done the same to Beth. Sweet Beth Greene didn't deserve that, and as far as he could tell, neither did Anna.

  
He wanted to tell her it would be ok, but that isn't something he could idly promise anymore. Rick also wanted to tell her she was safe and she didn't have to be afraid, but she would definitely know that was untrue.

  
She may have correctly surmised that he thought of her as being delicate. But she was whip-smart...in the old world they would call her straight forward and sassy. But in this new world, she was a bunch of exposed nerves.

  
Rick reached over to her and patted the book of cd's in her lap, "Any Willie Nelson in there?"

  
It took Anna a moment to break from her reverie. She looked up at him with her fearful, wide green eyes, "Y-yeah. I think so."

  
"I don't think there is a better way to be on the road...why don't you pop him in?"

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 They drove all day, until they decided to make camp just outside of Richmond, Virginia. Tara started a small fire and began cooking a pan of beans and rice. Anna watched as they congregated and divvied up responsibilities for cooking, keeping watch, tending to Judith and fetching water.

The small amount of food they shared tasted heavenly. It had been almost a full day since Michonne gave her the almonds. Maggie and Glenn took the first watch and Anna dozed off beneath the clear sky full of stars. She wished she had a jacket for cover. She had the third watch with Abraham and Rick. Both men intimidated her.

She slept lightly until Michonne woke her when her watch was over. She was holding a fitful Judith and sighed, "Do you mind holding her for awhile? She doesn't seem to want to sleep. At all. "

Anna rubbed the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hands and shrugged, "Sure. But what if she doesn't like me?"

"Just relax and she will too. She's not really a fussy kid. She reacts to your reaction."

Anna took Judith from Michonne and felt her warm little body sink into her own torso. Before long, Michonne was asleep nearby, one hand on her sword. Judith looked at her with wide, blue eyes and her pudgy hands patted Anna's cheek gently. Anna chuckled and cuddled the baby close to her.

It had been so long since she felt any physical comfort. She patted Judith's back in a circular motion and leaned her cheek against the baby's forehead. She heard herself humming a familiar tune. The same tune her grandmother would rock her to sleep with; "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas." She sang it to Anna no matter the time of year. She felt Judith sink into her chest, heavy with sleep. Anna smiled in the dark, she never thought she would see a baby again, let alone feel the joy of rocking one to sleep.

"Hey..." Came a quiet voice behind her. She looked up and saw Rick standing beside her, his hand resting on the hilt of his revolver in the holster.

"You need me to take her?" He asked her.

"I think I've got this under control. She just passed out. Wouldn't sleep for Michonne."

Rick nodded, " Abraham has the perimeter. I'll be nearby...if you need me..."

* * *

 

He had wandered over to the small fire to wake Anna up for her shift at watch. But he found her awake, and humming Christmas carols in the dark to his daughter, who was cradled and comfortable against Anna's chest.

He saw her smile to herself and he felt a pull in his own chest, knowing she had lost her own baby to this mess. Rick almost didn't have the heart to interrupt her. As soon as the words "if you need me," had escaped his lips, he heard a twig snap and a rustle. It could have been a walker...or an animal...or a human...

Instinctively, he pulled Anna to him by the waist, and she let out a small gasp. Rick held on to her and put his finger to her lips quietly.

"Shhhh..." He whispered and touched Judith's head gently before drawing his gun from the holster. Rick saw Anna's eyes widen and he released her hip from his grasp. He saw her tighten her grip on Judith protectively and he saw Abraham approach. He had heard it as well.

* * *

 

A blond man appeared near a tree, and before he could say anything, Rick had knocked him out cold with a single punch. Anna felt herself flinch. The punch landed hard in the middle of the man's face.

Yet, Judith didn't stir.

Rick and Abraham tied the man to a tree and Anna saw the stern look on both of their faces. Just a moment before he had protectively pulled her to him, hip to hip. She still felt his finger at her lips. She would be lying if she didn't admit to liking it or finding it thrilling. It had been a long while since she had been touched like that.

But then again, it was probably because she was holding his sleeping child. Anna felt her cheeks flush with shame, of course it was because of Judith.

Soon, the rest of the camp was awake with the news of a strange man tied to a tree. It seemed everyone had their weapons drawn or at the ready, waiting for the man to wake up. Anna just cradled Judith and hung back, trying to hold on to that bit of solace she had found less than fifteen minutes before.

Carl approached her, "You want me to take Judith?"

Anna shook her head, "She's fine. Go help your dad."

Carl nodded and walked back to where his father paced. Anna felt embarrassed by the pull she felt to Rick. He got her out of the hospital. She had been traumatized. She was grieving still. Her feelings were mixed up and out of control. He was protecting his child. Not her. He didn't even know her.

* * *

 

 The man's name was Aaron. He had been following them for days. He claimed to be a "recruiter" for a community called "Alexandria." Rick wasn't buying it. At all.

After Woodbury and Terminus, anyone and everyone could be dangerous. Aaron wanted them to audition for their community, claiming that the group would benefit their walled neighborhood with their strengths.

Though Rick had reservations, Michonne reasoned to go. Somewhere they could live and not fight. Somewhere they could stay and live safely. And the the others agreed with her.

Rick looked around at the faces of his people, his family. They were tired, thin and near feral for being out in the wild for so long amongst the dead. Perhaps Alexandria will finally be the haven they are looking for. His eyes rested on Anna and Judith...maybe his baby could grow up strong and find a place to shield her vulnerabilities until she could fight on her own... "Ok. We'll go."

* * *

 

They made arrangements to rendezvous with Eric, Aaron's partner, and take them to the leader of their community. On the way to Alexandria, no one really spoke to Anna. She was lost in her own thoughts...praying that this place would not be another Grady. That the leader was not another Dawn Lerner.

She remembered a time before all of this when opportunity made her hopeful, instead of her skin crawling with dread. The pit of her stomach bottomed out at the thought of more terror than she could percieve. So far this apocalypse has been nothing but the unimaginable. Scarier than she thought. But she had survived this long, and was determined to continue to.

Anna sat in the back seat with Michonne, Judith and Carl. Noah rode with the others in the fire truck. Rick seemed doubtful about all of this, especially the man currently directing him where to go. She remembered the feel of his hands at her waist and despite the grime and dirt he was covered in...she shivered.

Anna realized she could still feel after all. She wasn't completely dead inside. If any hope had been felt, it was in that moment...pressed to him and his finger against her lips.

When they finally reached the walled city, they all got out and stood before the gate. Aaron told the man on guard that they were here to see Deanna.

"Who's Deanna?" Abraham bellowed.

Inside the gates, they were lead to a house. Rick went inside first. Then one by one they went inside for awhile for their "audition". Anna waited patiently on the porch, with her plastic bag of clothes and notebooks. When finally, she was called in and entered a room lined with books and a chair.

Deanna Monroe was a formidable woman who looked vaguely familiar to Anna. "I've heard you are fairly new to the group, Anna. You and Noah were both in a hospital for all this time?"

Anna nodded and told Deanna her whole story. Philip, the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the bomb, Dawn Lerner and her abuse, the threatening, how Rick and his group saved her. She was crying quietly but remained steady in her speech.

"So what did you do? In Savannah?"

Anna shrugged, "I was a housewife. I gardened and volunteered in the community...I went to college but majored in Classic English Literature...no real use for that in the world. I was in Junior League...a treasurer in that..."

Deanna chuckled, "Carol just asked me if Alexandria had a Junior League."

Anna felt a bit offended but continued, "My husband taught me basic first aid...and how to do sutures. But other than that...I'm afraid I really didn't 'do' anything useful before."

Deanna nodded, "You will be plenty useful. I have a house with a garden that needs tending and a school room that could use your expertise. Aaron will show you the house. And tomorrow we will introduce you to your students. Why don't you go and clean up? I will send someone by with some basics for you."

Aaron appeared and lead Anna out of the front door and down the street to the cul-de-sac. "Here it is. Your new home."

Anna looked up and saw two stories, a porch and a bay window...it was much more than she needed.

"Whoever lived here originally planted a large garden. Deanna thinks you could help get it up to speed and perhaps help add some fresh food to our pantry."

Anna nodded and Aaron continued, "Someone will be by with some items. Rick lives next door to you."

A half hour later, Anna stepped out of the shower feeling better than she had in months. She wiped the condensation from the mirror and took a look at herself. She looked old. Tired. Sad. She didn't recognize her face at all.

She dressed in her Dollar General jeans and sweatshirt and brushed her teeth thoroughly. As she was doing so, someone knocked on the front door. A young, blonde woman stood outside with a full clothes basket and as Anna opened the door, she introduced herself, "I'm Jessie. Deanna asked me to stop by to drop off some things for you."

"I'm Anna. But I guess you already know that?"

Jessie nodded, "if you need anything, I live just down the street with my husband and two boys."

She gave Anna a small smile and a nod and picked up another basket and headed to the next yard. Anna watched her for a minute and then walked back inside and locked the door behind her. She sat on the navy blue couch and rummaged through the basket of clothing. A few t-shirts, a black sundress, a navy sundress, a white knitted sweater, flip flops, sweatpants.

Anna got up from the couch and decided to explore her new home, not that she would really ever consider it that. One and a half baths. Two bedrooms. An office. A nice kitchen that fed into a small dining room. Deanna had told them the community ran on solar technology, so there were lights and hot water. That also meant that the record player that was in the living room would work.

She had been pleased to see the vinyl records on the same shelves with books. She picked out Patsy Cline's greatest hits and also "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" to read. No sooner had she read the first sentence, she felt herself drifting off into a fitful sleep Anna slept on the couch, oblivious that anyone was trying to knock on her door. Then she shot up once the knocks grew louder and more anxious.

As she opened the door, she saw a clean shaven Rick on the porch. He had bright blue eyes. How had she never noticed before?

* * *

 

Anna opened the door, and it was obvious that she had been asleep. Her hair was clean, damp and falling in waves around her face. He heard music coming from inside.

"Is that Patsy Cline?"

She nodded, "Just nodded off. What's up?"

He felt a little guilty for waking her up. "I've been talking with the others. I am not sure I like them splitting us up, unarmed. We're going to all sleep in the same house until we get a better idea of Deanna and her people."

She nodded, "Ok. Where at?" "Next door. Come over whenever you are ready. I figure we'll all eat together, too."

She nodded and he turned to leave. She called to him before he got down the porch steps, "You clean up pretty well, Rick. But frankly I'm gonna miss your beard."

Rick turned around to look at her and was greeted with a sly, facetious smile. He smirked in return and went down the block to get Maggie and Glenn.

* * *

 

Anna appeared at Rick's door twenty minutes later with a book, a pack of playing cards she found and a flashlight...just in case. Carl let her in and she saw that everyone else was already inside.

Carol came out of the kitchen wearing an apron and Daryl shook his head in disbelief. "Come help Anna. Ignore the unwashed Daryl."

She followed Carol into the kitchen and found her making a giant pot of egg noodles.

"Dinner's almost ready. I'm afraid it's no frills."

"I'm sure it's better than anything we've had in weeks," Maggie chimed in.

Anna held the strainer for Carol as she emptied the pot into the sink, "There is a garden in the back of the house I am in. At some point, if this all works out we can start canning some things."

Once the pot emptied, Anna moved the strainer back and forth to get rid of all the water and poured them back into the empty pot. Carol smiled and Anna gestured to the apron, "So what's with all this? I heard you wanna join my junior league?"

"It's called keeping up appearances. I'm making myself invisible in case I need to save us."

Anna nodded, "Well then, we should start a book club too. Just to throw them off more."

Tara put down a stack of plates, "God, you guys are like The Real Housewives of the Apocalypse."

Anna chuckled, "I'm assuming this Is why Daryl looks so disapproving?"

"He is happier in the wild. Like most of us, he assumes this is probably too good to be true."

Anna agreed, "I don't blame him. It feels wrong to go back to something like this. Not that we shouldn't have homes or clean clothes...I mean to act like nothing is happening out side those walls."

Rick walked into the kitchen carrying a freshly bathed Judith and sporting a soaking wet t-shirt.

"Can one of you take Judy for a minute? Bath time was a disaster."

Anna put her arms out to Judith and with a giggle, she eased into Anna's grip. She seemed to be in happy spirits. Rick went to the back door where his basket of clothing was. He stripped off the wet shirt and Anna felt herself redden. His chest and arms were lean and muscular, and tanned thanks to days in the sun. She turned away from him just in time to avoid meeting his eyes.

Judith patted her cheek and gripped a handful of her hair. Anna didn't really want to ever go back to what the world had become, especially now that Judith had come into her life. She knew then that she would do anything she could to protect that child.

Rick appeared in her periphery, thankfully wearing a dry blue shirt. "She seems to have taking a liking to you, Anna. Wanna feed her?"

Anna nodded, and tried not to feel like she had before the world ended. Uppity housewives in her circle had done this out of pity, knowing that she was desperate to have a baby of her own. But in this world, she was helping a single father. She was being useful. Judith hadn't been clean and well fed in a very long time.

Carol scooped out a few egg noodles into a bowl and Rick handed her a jar of the Alexandria Applesauce that they made from the apple trees nearby. She moved into the living room and sat with Judith on the floor. The baby ate with gusto and a big grin.

Carl sat close to Anna and watched the joy emanate from Judith's general direction. "I haven't seen her smile since the first night in Gabriel's church."

Anna nodded, "Babies tend to feed off the reactions and emotions of their keepers. If you all felt safe and happy, even just for a minute, she did too."

Carl watched a few minutes more, "So you'll be there tomorrow...in the school?"

Anna dipped the spoon in the applesauce and fed it to Judith, "I suppose so. I don't have any idea of what this Deanna expects me to teach anyone. I guess graduating from college makes me sound more impressive in these circumstances."

"I think it's silly to have to go."

Anna turned and looked at Carl, "Yeah. Me too. But at least we'll have each other? Maybe we will give it a shot for a few days and if we still don't like it we can talk to the boss lady?"

Carl shrugged, "Ok."

Everyone ate and settled in for the night. Anna taught Noah and Carl how to play rummy and a friendly competition evolved.

Later in the evening, there was a knock on Rick's front door. Deanna Monroe appeared and looked at all of them in one room. She told Rick it was smart.

* * *

 

Anna was one of the first to awake the next morning, and before she left to go "home" and clean up, she woke up Carl and told him that she would walk with him to school. She washed her face, brushed her hair and teeth. She dressed in jeans, a black t-shirt and the white knit sweater she was given.

On her way next door, she spied Carl waiting on the porch donning his sherriff's hat and talking to his father, Michonne and little Judith. Carl stood up when she appeared and Rick nodded in his son's direction, "Do me a favor. Keep an eye on him today."

Anna flashed a small smile, "Of course. But neither of us really know what to expect with this 'school' thing. He might have to keep an eye on me as well."

Michonne chuckled and bounced Judith on her knees, "Deanna hasn't given either of us a job yet. So we're gonna get familiar with this place and do a little recon."

Anna and Carl said their goodbyes and walked in the direction of where Deanna said the school was, and saw her standing in a driveway and waving at them. She explained to them that the school wasn't just for math and reading, but it was also about teaching the youth in Alexandria how to become vital members of the community. They needed farmers, people to sew, build and etc. Deanna's husband, Reg, had been teaching the kids math and reading, but Deanna thought that Anna could teach some practical classes like growing food and making clothes.

Basically, home economics.

Both she and Carl introduced themselves to the group...Mikey, Ron, Enid and Sam. They sat and listened to the lessons together and then they were all dismissed for the day.

On the way back to their houses, Anna felt a little deflated. She didn't know what she was expecting, but she wasn't expecting to be a den mother to her own little group of scouts. She wanted to be a little more vital than that, here in the end of days.

When Carl and Anna reached their homes, they saw Rick and Jessie speaking in the driveway. "Carl, Jessie wants to know if you wanted to go visit her son?"

Jessie looked hopeful and Carl shrugged, "Sure."

* * *

 

Carl followed Jessie in the direction of her home, leaving Anna and Rick standing in the street. Rick watched Jessie walk away with his son, and he turned to look at Anna, "How was school?"

She sighed, "Well, it turns out they didn't want me for my college education. They want me to teach kids house wifely duties. Gardening, sewing. Cooking. Stuff like that."

Rick shrugged, "I mean, that is what you did...before, right?"

He saw a quiet fire in her green eyes, but managed to stay calm, "I just don't want to solely be known as the token pet housewife. That world doesn't even exist anymore."

Rick took her gently by the elbow and leaned in to whisper lowly to her, "You've noticed what Carol has been doing?"

Anna nodded and Rick continued, "Use this to your advantage. Don't be the pet house wife, just pretend to be. And be stronger for your group. Our group."

She stopped walking and looked him dead in the eye, "You're being serious?"

Rick nodded and put his hands on his hips, "I am. Tonight Deanna is throwing us a welcome party. Carol needs to be covered to sneak away...if you could help her to disappear...it would be helpful. Maybe use some of those southern debutante charms I know you have."

"So you actually want me to play up the Steel-Magnolia-Scarlett-O'Hara bullshit?"

"I think you could serve as a pretty distraction."

He saw Anna flush pink and she turned away and walked to her door. "I'll see what I can do." She said as she closed her door behind her.

* * *

 

 Anna spent the afternoon rummaging through her new home, hoping to find anything she could use for "the pretty distraction." Even thinking about it made her blush. Given the record collection, the garden and other attributes of the house, Anna surmised that either older people or hipsters had lived there. Either way there had to be something usable.

In the master bedroom, she opened dresser drawers and closets and finally after an hour, seemed to have hit pay dirt. In the bottom of the dresser, to the side of the bottom drawer, there was a hollowed out space. Anna stretched as far as she could and brushed the top of a box with her fingertips. With another try, she had plucked out a woman's shoe box.

Anna fell on the bed with the box and opened it to reveal letters, postcards, photos of a couple in the 50s...and finally, a thin strand of ivory pearls. Nothing screamed "housewife" or "southern deb" more than pearls. She wanted to read all the letters, but she didn't have time if she wanted to make a certain impression at the Monroe house tonight. Anna set her hair in pincurls and used a hair dryer (a novelty to use in such times) to dry them.

She plucked her eyebrows with tweezers she found in the bathroom, and dressed in the navy sundress with the white sweater and fixed the pearls at her neck. She had no heels, and it was most unseemly to have such unpractical footwear in her current situation. So the flip flops had to do...but only after she clipped her toenails.

She looked at her reflection, it was far from how well manicured she used to be, but about as best as could be done with what she had. She pinched her cheeks to make them pink and bit her lips to make them flush. If the ladies from their old country club could see her now, they would've considered her a total cave woman.

Anna sighed, but heard a knock at the door, she went downstairs and opened the door to Carol...who was carrying a plate of cookies.

"Is that chocolate?" She asked excitedly.

Carol smiled wryly, "Uh huh. So Rick told me that you are going to play my game?"

Anna shook her head and lilted sarcastically, "Your game? Sugar, I invented it."

She winked at Carol and Carol laughed, "It's amazing. You remind me of someone."

"Everything I needed to know about life came from Julia Sugarbaker on 'Designing Women'."

"Yep. That's it."

Anna shut the door behind her and followed Carol down the steps, "So exactly why am I helping to distract at this party?"

Carol turned serious and stopped walking, "Not everyone knows this. But I'm going to get some of our guns back. In case things aren't as pretty as they seem."

Anna wasn't shocked by this information, "I agree it's a good idea."

Carl, Rick and Judith met them in the street and Judith clapped when she saw Anna and Carol. Anna brushed the baby's cheek affectionately with the back of her hand, "Hello sweetness."

Anna looked up and met eyes with Rick, who hid a smile, "You look...nice."

"Thanks."

* * *

 

Inside the home of Deanna and Reg Monroe made Rick uncomfortable. It felt peculiar and like one big lie. People had wine glasses with long stems and tumblers full of liquor. As soon as he entered the home, Judith was being passed around like a joyous novelty. Something that this time had forgot.

Reg offered Rick and Anna beverages while Carol went to deposit the cookies, "How about some wine Anna? And what about you, Rick? Whiskey?"

Before he could answer, Anna put a gentle hand on Reg Monroe's arm, "If it's all the same to you, Mr. Monroe, I'm more of a whiskey gal myself."

She smiled this bright, flirtatious smile and Reg poured two tumblers of whiskey and handed them to Anna and Rick.

Rick whispered to Anna, "Maybe take it easy on the whiskey?"

"I know what I'm doing. Besides, isn't that what a southern belle is anyway? Whiskey disguised in a pretty, delicate tea cup?"

She tucked a dark blond curl behind her ear, "Trust me."

Rick nodded solemnly and she clinked her glass against his and moved off to speak with Deanna and some ladies from the community. Her smile was as bright and she played with the pearls at her neck. This was Anna holding court and playing her audience like a fiddle.

Suddenly, Jessie appeared with Judith on her hip. Jessie. Married, delicate Jessie. The one who's big project most days was making an owl sculpture with her boys. She was unbroken in almost every way.

* * *

 

Anna stood with the hens, gossiping and laughing. How did she ever endure this for hours on end? Instead she sipped the whiskey and fiddled with the pearls. She spied Rick with Jessie, who held Judith in her arms. Jessie's son Sam gave Rick a stamp on his hand...a large red "A". Not unlike a scarlet letter.

Anna felt her stomach flip. And then the kicker...Rick kissed Jessie awkwardly on the cheek... She excused herself from the group, saying she was going to pop out for some fresh air.

Instead, she snuck another glass of whiskey from Reg's decanter and went to sit on the front porch. Her face felt warm. She didn't know what she had expected. She was a widow with loads of baggage and trauma. Anna took another sip of whiskey and closed her eyes.

She tried to remember how happy she and Philip had been when she discovered that she was finally pregnant. Ten years of marriage and finally a baby. There would always be a hole in her heart. Unfinished dreams in a life that didn't exist anymore.

Anna took a generous pull of whiskey from the glass and felt the familiar warmth in her chest as achieving an alcohol buzz. "I don't think you should be drinking alone. May I join you?"

She turned her head to see a rather handsome young man behind her. Dark haired, dark eyed and a strong, masculine jaw. Anna shrugged coyly and he sat beside her on the top porch step. "I'm Spencer. Spencer Monroe."

Anna smiled, "Deanna and Reg's son?"

"One of them at least. My younger brother Aiden is around here somewhere. He goes on scouting runs."

"I'm Anna Marber." She offered her hand to him and he shook it gently.

Spencer held up his father's decanter of whiskey, "Care for some more?"

Anna should have declined. But instead, she accepted, "Just a little."

He poured a splash of whiskey into her glass and they both sat in silence, drinking.

"So where did you come from?" Spencer inquired.

After a thoughtful drink, Anna answered, "Savannah by way of Atlanta."

"Are you liking Alexandria?"

"I suppose. A little disorienting, given the circumstances. I haven't been with the group that long. They picked me up in a hospital. They've been out there longer than I have. But I imagine, we thought a place like this didn't exist, couldn't exist anymore."

Spencer cleared his throat, "So...are you attached to Rick? Or maybe that guy with the crossbow?"

She almost choked on her swig of whiskey. Interesting segue. She shook her head, "Oh no. I lost my husband in Atlanta. He was a doctor."

"So maybe one night, I could make you dinner?"

Anna smiled briefly, but sadly, "You're sweet. But you're a bit young for me. You don't want to hook up with a thirty something widow."

"But I'm 27. How old are you? 31 at the most?"

"I'm closer to 35. I'm really flattered though."

She stood up and made her way to the door. "Thanks for the drink, Spencer. You're a very sweet young man."

Anna walked into the house feeling more miserable than before. The party was dying down and Rick approached her.

"You ok?" He touched her elbow gently.

She smiled and hid her sadness, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired."

Rick leaned in close to whisper to her, "When we leave, would you mind staying with Carl and Judith? I need to meet Carol and Daryl."

His breath on her neck unnerved her, set her alight. Anna fought for her composure, "Sure. Of course."

They said their goodbyes, and Deanna mentioned that she would love to speak with Anna again, soon. She agreed to stop by the Monroe home after class the next day.

Carl carried an exhausted Judith as they walked down the vacant suburban street. Anna could hear locusts in the night and she missed home. Her real home. Her mom, dad, husband...even her in-laws.

When they reached the Grimes home, Rick turned to Anna and looked serious. "I'll be back in a little bit. Thanks for keeping an eye on them."

Carl, Anna and Judith watched as Rick disappeared into the Alexandria night and opened the door to the cool, comfortable house. Anna changed Judith's diaper and put her into a snuggly onesie. After a snack of applesauce, the three of them sat on the couch and waited for Rick to return. Judith snuggled into Anna's chest and she felt better than she had all night. Having that little girl know her and trust her was an unexpected bright spot of the current times.

Carl reached for something on the end table and held it up for Anna to see, "I think you forgot this. Last night."

Her eyes focused in on the book and she saw the copy of "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH", which she had abandoned "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz". Oz was too happy and candy-colored for her journey. The Rats of NIMH had been her favorite story once, and it is as dark as a children's book could be.

"Yeah, I did. I found it yesterday and had not read it in years."

Carl tried to look disinterested, "Oh. What's it about?"

"Animal testing, family, politics, community...want to read it with me? I can start first?"

Carl shrugged and then settled close to her so he could see the illustrations. Anna read aloud in a soft voice as Judith fell fast asleep. Some of the lines hit a little closer to home than they did when Anna was a child; "Although she was a widow (her husband had died only the preceding summer), Mrs. Frisby was able, through luck and hard work, to keep her family—there were four of them—happy and well fed."

Through luck and hard work. Maybe that is all anybody needed. Even in the new world. She felt Carl's head rest on her shoulder. She turned to see a very sleepy kid. She stood up carefully, as not to wake Judith, and guided Carl's head onto the corner couch pillow. She turned down a corner of the page they were reading and moved to the opposite side of the couch and curled up with the sweet baby Judith.

Soon, all three were asleep

* * *

 

Carol had been successful. She gave both Rick and Daryl firearms, though they all seemed unsure if they needed them. When he returned home to his new house, he found the lights on and Carl asleep at one end of the couch, and Anna curled up beside Judith with her arm securely around her at the other end.

He sat close to them on the couch and felt bad having to wake any of them up. They looked so peaceful. Rick brushed the curls away from Anna's face and shook her by her shoulder gently. Her eyes opened in fear and she tried to shoot upward, but Rick calmed her down without waking Judith. "Hey. It's just me, it's ok. I'm home."

He cupped the side of her face with his hand. She exhaled, but looked rattled, "Hi."

"Let me take Judith. You stay. Get some sleep." Rick realized he was still touching her face, and instead moved to pick up Judith. Anna nodded and laid back down on the couch.

* * *

 

Before the sun came up, Anna awoke and realized she was still on Rick's couch.

And she had a headache.

She silently made her way to the bathroom and when she came back out she spied Rick, Carol and Daryl in the kitchen. Drinking coffee. Anna thought it looked so odd, that for a moment she thought she was still dreaming.

Daryl caught sight of her and waved her over, "Hey Princess. Rough night?"

She walked into the kitchen, rather salty over the "Princess" assessment. Carol handed her a mug of dark, hot coffee and Anna held it for a moment and reveled in the normalcy. "Not rough, really. Just fell asleep reading with the kids on the couch. Where were you last night?"

Anna directed toward Daryl. "I'm no good at kissing asses," he answered gruffly.

Anna smiled good-naturedly, "I can't imagine why."

Carol swatted Daryl's arm as if telling him to be nice. Anna took a sip of her coffee and leaned against the kitchen counter, avoiding direct eye contact with Rick. She still remembers him waking her up, gently calming her down...and the feel of his palm against her cheek.

As Carol puttered around the kitchen, she spoke up, "Deanna seemed really interested in you, Anna. You held the ladies attention really well."

She shrugged and took another sip, "Deanna is the only smart one of the bunch. Well educated and groomed. That's why she made it to congress. The other ladies are about as dumb as they come. It wasn't hard. The rest of them got their MRS degrees. Transparent bunch of hens. Pick a little, talk a little. No wonder Deanna wants me to stop by for a visit today. She must be bored to tears."

Anna saw three pairs of eyebrows raise. "What?"

Rick met her eyes with his, "Do you know why she wants you to come visit?"

Anna shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe she has ideas the other women can't understand? Or maybe she wants to set me up with her son Spencer? He asked if he could make me dinner."

"He asked you for a date? What did you say?"

Anna put down her mug and folded her arms across her chest, "I said no. He's just a kid."

Carol stood next to Anna and put a hand on her shoulder, "Remember that game you said you invented? You need to keep up appearances with Deanna. Find out everything you can about her."

Anna nodded, even if it was spying, she'd do it for the good of the group. "Okay."

Daryl smirked, " I told ya we'd get your hands dirty."

For the rest of the conversation, Anna drank her coffee and listened attentively. Rick was the town constable, and Michonne his deputy. Carol was stealthily keeping up appearances helping the elderly and cooking. Daryl will be taking Eric's place as a recruiter with Aaron. He will be in and out and gone for days.

As everyone dispersed the kitchen, Rick caught Anna by the arm and she looked up at him questioningly. "Anna...I really appreciate the fact that you do everything we ask. But if you aren't comfortable, you can tell me. And if you ever feel in any sort of danger...you can tell me that, too."

She stood up straight, noticing his hand was still on her arm, "Every day is danger, Rick. I haven't let this sanctuary fool me of what is outside...or what can be inside. I'll do whatever I can if it means keeping Carl and Judith safe."

His eyes softened and his hand dropped to his side. Anna wanted to step closer to him, but instead she stepped away. She would be making a fool of herself if she let herself act on emotion. Especially after she saw him the night before with Jessie.

"I'm gonna go next door and get ready for the day. When Carl wakes up, tell him I will walk with him again, if he wants me to."

Rick nodded and and she walked to open the door, but before she could leave, he called after her, "Anna...thank you for caring about my kids. I really appreciate it."

She turned to look at him one last time, "You're welcome. They are bright spots in all of this."

As she walked down the drive to her own yard, she mumbled to herself, "I care about you too, you idiot. If you'd look at what's right in front of you and not at what's down the street."

Anna showered, changed into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved dark green shirt. She pulled her hair into a low knot and waited for Carl in the street. As she fiddled with the pearls at her neck, she remembered the box of letters and pictures they were found in. After her meeting with Deanna, she would go home and read them and take her mind off things.

Reg walked with Anna after class and talked about gardening and what types of seeds and vegetables would be best for the area. He told Anna that he would get a list of houses with gardens or the space for gardens and bring it to her the next day. As they were walking to the house, Maggie Greene was leaving. "Hey Maggie," Anna smiled.

Maggie was working as Deanna's assistant and hadn't seen much of her since arriving to Alexandria. "Hi Anna," Maggie smiled back sadly. When they got inside, Anna realized why. The scouts were going out the next morning. Glenn, Tara, Noah and Eugene among them...and Deanna had just got finished talking to them.

Anna waited silently until Deanna bid them all goodbye. Tara and Glenn waved at her and she waved back. Once everyone had cleared out, Deanna came and greeted her. "Hello Anna. Would you like to come into my office for some tea?"

"Sure."

Anna followed the former congresswoman down the hall and and into the office where she was interviewed. Deanna poured tea into a bone china tea cup and passes it along with a saucer to Anna. She sat down at her desk with Anna opposite her. "You must be wondering why I invited you over."

Anna sipped the tea (oolong, not her favorite) and smiled brightly, "It had crossed my mind."

Deanna sat up straight and Anna could see her preparing her words carefully, "I think you could be a great asset. A bridge."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I know most of Rick's group is suspicious of Alexandria. I know you are fairly new to them, but still are seen as a part of his...family, as he calls it."

Anna put her teacup and saucer on the desk so she wouldn't spill it or show the tremor in her hands and Deanna continued, "I want you to be our advocate, with the group. With Rick."

"But I don't know you. I have seen Rick's true colors. The heart of their group. I've been here only three days. How do you expect me to advocate anything?"

Deanna held up her hands to show she meant no harm, "Let's start small. Maybe you could get to know our people a little better. Then find common ground with yours. Maybe dinners or picnics or game nights..."

"Like a social director. During the apocalypse?" Anna felt like beating her head against the desk. The idea was...frivolous at best.

"Anna, you are charming, warm...you could help bring this community together. Make us all ONE family. No more 'us' and 'them'."

The dead were walking. And Deanna wanted her to throw glossy parties.

"Would it be ok if I took some time...to think about it?"

Deanna smiled, "Of course, darling."

Anna finished her tea hastily, "I'll let you know."

* * *

 

Rick had finished his "patrol" in uniform and skipped going straight home to relieve Carol of watching Judith and instead went next door to ask Anna about her meeting with Deanna.

He knocked on her door, but was not expecting a bathrobe and sweatpants clad Anna with puffy, red eyes to answer.

"Have you been crying? Has something happened?"

She shook her head, "No, no. The other day, I found a box of letters and pictures and I have been reading them. Did you need something?"

Rick nodded, "Mind if I come in?"

She opened the door for him and he looked to the coffee table and saw a box and opened, old letters and photos. Anna smoothed her hair away from her face, "Want something to drink?"

"No, I didn't mean to bother you. I just wanted to ask about your meeting with Deanna."

She laughed, in what sounded like a disgusted manner, "She wants me to be the goddamnned party planner so I can bridge our groups. Be their advocate."

Rick shook his head, not completely understanding.

"Basically, she wants me to be the activity director on the Titanic."

Rick felt relieved, knowing that Deanna was only trying to unify their groups as a community. But he still held reservations. "I take it you said no."

Anna smiled sadly and looked him dead in the eye, "I said I'd think about it because I wanted to talk to you first."

Rick looked thoughtful, "I think you should do it. For our group. And if we end up becoming one...so be it."

Anna merely shrugged, "Maybe."

Rick motioned at the letters and shoebox, "Tell me about this. What did you find?"

She sat on the couch and motioned for him to follow. He sat next to her and she showed him a black and white photo. "This is Tom and Jeannie. This was their home. This box, was their correspondence during the Korean War. Mostly love letters. And they are beautifully written, on both sides. I'm trying to put them in chronological order."

Rick took the photo from her and studied the faces of Tom and Jeannie. He wore an army uniform and she wore a very 50s dress and dark hair that was perfectly coiffed. They looked like film stars.

Anna traced her fingers over Tom's signature at the bottom of one of the letters, "I guess it just makes me sad, knowing they are gone. Their kids and grandkids probably are too. What horrible things must have happened to them in the end. But they loved each other so much. Even before all of this, not everyone experiences love stories like theirs."

Rick looked at the picture again and then placed it back on the table. Anna maybe traumatized, like they all were. But she had maintained her humanity and compassion. He had lost most of his. She continued to trace the signature with her finger until he took her hand with his own.

Anna looked stunned and her green eyes widened. And in that incredibly intimate moment, all he could think of was Jessie. Rick let go of her hand and stood up, "Let me know when you talk to Deanna again. I'm going to relieve Carol for the night. "

She looked confused for a moment, and then wished him a goodnight.

* * *

 

After Rick left, Anna curled up on the couch and tried not to think about his hand, his fingers...on her hand and her fingers. She covered her head with a pillow and tried to block it out. If she was to have any peace, he would need to stop touching her and then walking away.

Hours later, another knock came at the door. Anna opened it, not really in the mood for visitors. On her porch stood Spencer Monroe with a bottle of wine and a casserole dish. "I made dinner. Macaroni and cheese from a package. But I am hoping the wine makes it more fancy."

Anna uncrossed her arms and took the bottle from him, "Well, beggars can't be choosers in times like this. White wine would've paired better."

She opened the door for him and let him in, with an inkling she was doing this against her better judgement and that she was still reeling thanks to Rick.

Anna didn't mind the pairing of macaroni and merlot. It might have been Spencer's company that brightened her mood...or the most normal evening that she had experienced in over a year. She didn't think of anything else until after Spencer left and she went to bed...in a queen sized bed...not the floor or couch or little hospital bunk or somewhere under the stars.

In her sleep, she dreamed of Phillip. He was tall and formidable. But somewhere in the dream he'd turn into Rick, and then back into Phillip. After awhile, she stopped fighting and just stayed awake.

Spencer had not overstayed his welcome, in fact he left promptly after dinner and the wine were all gone. He didn't try and kiss her or touch her or confuse her in anyway. He just talked, and listened. She told him about Tom and Jeannie...he even helped her organize the letters; Tom's wartime messages and Jeannie's loving responses.

It was a whole story now. She wanted to find a folder for them, so she could preserve the words and pictures. Spencer told her he would check his parents offices and see what he could find. She liked Spencer a lot.

But he did not have her heart in a vise.

The one who did, though...well, she should have known better. When the sun came up, Anna showered and dressed and went in the back yard to survey the garden...and what could be salvaged.

There were no classes today. Deanna and Reg would be sending off the scouts soon and it left Anna free for awhile to figure some things out. She pulled up weeds as she went through the rows. There were snap peas, peppers, radishes, and spots where lettuce and tomatoes used to grow.

It definitely needed love and tending to, but it could be saved. There was a small shed that she had not noticed before, and she went to open it. Deciding that even though the houses had been cleared, she wanted to take no chances so she walked inside and got her bat.

Standing outside of the shed door she took a breath and opened it quickly, jumping back and in a swinging position.

A rake fell out. But no walkers.

Anna exhaled and peeked inside. A wheelbarrow, gardening shears, some fertilizer and packs of seeds. Tomato, cucumber, peppers, squash, spinach and wax beans. She felt overjoyed.

She wanted to talk to Reg about building raised beds and perhaps some tomato cages. Maybe this was something the kids could help with. Something she could teach. She took the packets of seeds in and found one of he notebooks and made an inventory list, and then sketched out ideas for a garden. What needed to be built and what seasons would be best. She made a list of things to give to Glenn when he went on supply runs.

Anna took her notebook and pen outside and walked to the town gates where people were gathering to send off the scouts as they go and find the parts to sustain the solar energy of Alexandria.

Maggie was saying goodbye to Glenn, Michonne, Eugene and Rosita were talking to Noah and Tara while Rick and Daryl stood by watching. Deanna, Spencer and Reg were speaking to Aiden. She didn't want to interrupt, so she hung back with Rick and Daryl.

"I thought ya might sit this one out, P.T.A."

Anna wasn't sure which of Daryl's nicknames she liked the least. "Nah, I just got caught up figuring some stuff out. Going to talk with Reg after...you know. I need his help with building."

Daryl sounded a little interested, "What're ya gonna build?"

Anna flipped open her notebook and showed him her ideas for the layout of the garden and the list of the materials that could work. She explained to him that with summer coming they could have a nice little supplement of fresh foods. He nodded, "Could work. If I run across anything useful I'll bring it back."

She nearly hugged him, but thought that might be pushing it. "I'd really appreciate that, Daryl."

Rick stayed mostly silent until Daryl went to speak with Aaron. "Looks like you've been busy."

Anna nodded, "Didn't sleep too well."

"Me either. I was up with Judith and saw Spencer leave your house." She felt backhanded and excited all at once. Had she detected a hint of protectiveness? And who did he think he was thinking he had any right to to say anything about who has dinner at her house?

She composed herself and reeled in her emotions. "He brought me dinner. We ate it. He helped me organize the letters I found. That's all."

Rick didn't say anything in response, he just turned on his heel and began his patrol. Anna sighed and approached Glenn after the goodbyes were said. She ripped out the list from her notebook and handed it to him. Anna then stopped the Monroe's after the scouts had been let out and the gates secured.

She laid her case after greetings and pleasantries, "I really think this could work. We could use the whole back yard. Seasonal veggies. I just need some help and materials and building."

Reg smiled and held the notebook, "I'd be happy to help, Anna. Deanna and I really appreciate your initiative to advance the community."

Deanna and Reg said goodbye and walked back to their home, leaving Spencer and Anna alone. Spencer smiled, "You need some help with the garden?"

"Absolutely. The goal is to grow as much as we can and start canning for the winter. Have a nice cushion in our food stores."

When Anna returned home, she started to go through the books and records in Tom and Jeannie's house. Classic novels, gardening and cook books, military non-fiction and lots of music by country artists and big band crooners. She kept out the books about gardening and turned on a Dolly Parton album. She remembered braiding dolls hair and listening to "9 to 5" over and over growing up.

She gathered her notebook and holed up in the big comfy chair next to the bookshelves. She made notes from the books about Virginia. The soil and seasons, when the first frost usually came.

Anna woke from a deep sleep in the chair, the book still open in her lap and the pen had dropped from her hand. There was a lot of movement and noises outside. She heard and automobile squealing to a stop.

It was now dusk. She got her bearings and ran to the front door. She stood on the porch and watched the lights and heard the panicked voices. It was coming from the main gate. Anna sprinted to the gate and saw the van from earlier in the morning, the same one the scouts had taken. Rick and Michonne were helping getting someone out of the back.

Eugene and Glen were accounted for, and Nicholas-one of the original scouts, got out of the van and disappeared into the dark. Maggie appeared and Deanna and Reg ran down the street with Spencer not far behind.

No Aiden.

No Noah.

Tara had been very injured.

And Glen was a mess. Deanna howled in grief at the loss of her son. She clung to Reg and wept. Anna felt her eyes widen and her stomach pull. Noah was gone. Rick and Michonne got Tara out of the van. Everything moved so quickly.

Jessie's husband, Pete, the surgeon appeared and lead Michonne and Rick to the clinic. Anna stood in the street feeling lost. She noticed Carol out of her periphery, looking stern, but calm. She heard weeping behind her and saw the Monroes. Spencer had his hands over his face and Anna bridged the gap between them and hugged him.

He looked a stunned at first but wrapped his arms around her tightly and cried.

Carol handed Anna a mug of tea as they sat in Rick's kitchen. Both Carl and Judith were asleep and Rick still wasn't home. She felt run over and gutted. A far cry from her ebullience of the gardening plans that same morning. "You need to go see Deanna tomorrow. She is going to blame us for her son."

Anna shook her head, "She isn't that kind of woman. She knows the dangers in this world. And we lost Noah..."

Noah.

Who almost a week ago she sat playing cards with. The same Noah that was her only built in friend once she left the hospital.

"Anna. She needs to see. We need more protection. We need weapons."

Anna sipped her tea, "I just. I can't go there right now."

"We can't hesitate."

At that moment, a very weary Rick walked in the front door. He looked surprised to see her. Carol readied the tea kettle and a mug and Rick sat down next to Anna at the kitchen table. "Tara is stable. Pete Anderson is taking care of her."

Anna felt herself judging Rick silently, the way he spoke about Jessie's husband with venom. The woman he wanted...her husband. She folded her arms across her chest for some sort of protection.

"Anna, we need you and Maggie to find out what the Monroe's are thinking."

She met his eyes and felt the dismay boiling over, "They're grieving, Rick. I doubt they have thought anything other than that. When are you going to start treating them as allies and not enemies?"

"We don't know them."

"True. But they haven't lied to us, led us astray."

Rick shook his head, "You're too close to them. This is about Spencer, isn't it? You're letting your feelings get in the way."

Anna stood up and felt like she was going to cry and tell him everything she felt about him...not Spencer. But she was too angry at him," I could say the same thing about you, Rick. "

She stomped angrily to the door, not allowing him to see her cry. She ran across the threshold of their yards and as she was walking up the steps to her house, she saw Spencer sitting alone in the dark.

"I couldn't be at home."

Anna nooded and offered her hands to him so he could stand up, "I understand. Come in."

* * *

 

When Anna left, Carol sighed.

"Pete hits Jessie, Rick. Sam told me."

Rick's head seethed with anger. Anger over Anna. Anger over Tara and Noah. Anger over the images in his head of what Sam told Carol. Sam hiding in a locked closet and later finding Jessie knocked out.

"You have to kill him." Carol's simple, unflinching tone un-nerved him. If only Ed Peletier could see what she had become.

He had been drawn to Jessie, thinking she was unbroken. That none of this had touched her, or her spirit. But now, Rick realized she was fragile. Too fragile.

The whole damn place was made of thin glass.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Late the next morning, Anna walked downstairs to find Spencer asleep on the couch. She had stayed up late with him; talking about Aiden, his family and how this is the first true loss they have suffered. She knew how he felt. She shared with him about her parents and then losing Phillip in Atlanta.

She didn't know what to do or how to go about her day.

  
Finally, once Spencer awoke in the afternoon, Anna decided to go back to Spencer's home and pay her respects to Reg and Deanna. She dressed in the black sundress and white sweater and left her hair down. They left her home and walked past Rick's house. It occurred to her he probably saw this and would equate it to whatever he liked.

  
But she didn't care. Spencer was a nice man. And a friend.

  
Anna Marber, widow, had the unfortunate and unenviable position of being hung up on someone who was hung up on someone else.

A married someone else.

  
In fact, she was angry at Rick. Assuming she was hopping into bed with Spencer instead of seeing how plainly she felt about Rick himself. It had to have been written all over her face.  
So he could believe whatever he wanted at this point. But Anna knew that since she had met Rick...only his name had been on her heart.

  
At the moment, though, he had become something she didn't recognize...something she didn't like.

  
When they reached the Monroe residence, Anna looked at Spencer and hesitated, "I wish I had something to bring. A casserole. Flowers."

  
Spencer nodded, "I don't want to go in there, but I have to."

  
"Your parents will want you to be with them."  
With that, Spencer opened the door. His parents came running from the direction of the sitting room. His mother threw her arms around him, "Where have you been?"

  
"It was too hard to be at home. I went to talk to Anna."

  
Deanna Monroe let go of her remaining son and hugged Anna to her, "Thank you, sweet girl, for taking care of my son."

  
Anna hugged Deanna back and felt her heart plummet into her stomach. Her resolve was going to snap at any minute, "I'm so sorry Deanna."

  
She stood in the foyer holding onto Deanna until the congresswoman broke the embrace and waved them both into the sitting room, "Come in for some tea."

  
Deanna told her about interviewing Glen and Nicholas that morning about the scouting mission. She looked so pale, grief stricken...but determined to lead. Reg remained silent as she went into the events of meeting Rick in the cemetery.

  
"I'm worried about Rick. Some of the things he said...disturbed me."

  
Anna acted like she didn't know what she was talking about, "I'm sure he is just reeling."

  
"I would appreciate it if you could talk to him. Maybe talk some sense into him."

  
Anna wanted to laugh out loud at the notion that Rick Grimes would ever listen to her in regards to the welfare of his group.

  
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. He has been...on edge."

  
"Clearly. I saw it this morning."

  
Anna didn't know what Deanna was talking about, what exactly Rick had said. She didn't want to press, either.

  
After awhile, Anna and Spencer and the Monroe's decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. They all wanted to get outside, the house and Aiden's ghost was suffocating them.

  
Halfway around the block, they heard breaking glass, fighting and screaming.

  
"What in the hell is that?" Spencer muttered and they all took off toward the sounds of trouble.

  
They reached the front of Jessie and Pete's house, glass everywhere. Rick and Pete were bloodied and fighting in the street with Jessie, Carl, Enid, Carol and Michonne keeping a close distance. Deanna demanded them to stop but they did not, Jessie tried to pull Pete away, and he backhanded her in the face and continued fighting. Rick took the advantage and reversed their positions and beat away at Pete's face. Carl attempted to stop his father, and his father pushed him back and he fell to the ground.

  
Anna tried to run towards Carl, but Spencer held her back. She was livid at Rick.

  
Rick sat up, still straddling Pete and pulled a gun when Deanna and Reg tried to approach.  
"You gonna kick me out? You still don't get it. None of you do! We know what needs to be done and we do it. We're the ones who live. You— you just sit and plan and hesitate. You pretend like you know when you don't! You wish things weren't what they are. You wanna live? You want this place to stay standing? Your way of doing things is done! Things don't get better because you want them to. Starting right now, we have to live in the real world. We have to control who is here."

  
Anna felt tears in her eyes. And looked from Rick to Jessie. He was doing all of this for her. Another man's wife. The man he had just publically beaten in the street and pushed his own son away in the process.

  
"That's never been more clear to me than it is right now." Deanna said sternly.

  
With that final word, Michonne, in her constable's uniform caught Rick by surprise and knocked his lights out.

  
When Rick hit the ground, Anna broke from Spencer's grasp and ran to comfort Carl.

* * *

 

Carol and Anna walked Carl home and tended to Judith. Carol made them dinner and they ate together in silence. Anna would not have it for these children...she wished she could take them away somewhere safe...but that place, it seemed, didn't truly exist.

  
She sang Judith to sleep that night, weeping and wishing she could hold her own child and be back into her happy life with Phillip.

  
Instead she lived in fear, and wanted dangerous man.

  
And she wanted him still, even after what she saw in the street today.

  
When the children went to bed, Anna and Carol sat on the couch and Carol finally broke her silence.

  
"Rick knows that Pete had been beating Jessie. I told him. I learned it from her youngest son."

  
Anna knew she should want Jessie to be safe. But all of this just allowed Rick to act as he wanted to in the name of keeping her safe...all the while coveting her.

  
"That's terrible," Anna finally managed.

  
Carol did not hesitate to chuckle, "I know you don't like her."

  
She felt embarassed...and guilty, "That doesn't mean that I want her husband to beat her...or that I don't care. I guess I just don't understand what Rick sees in her."

  
"I guess I could say the same thing about what you see in Rick?"

  
Anna burned bright red. She could feel it.  
But before she could answer, a knock came on the door. Anna happily excused herself to go and answer it. Michonne stood on the porch, "Hey Anna. Would you mind coming with me?"

Anna raised her eyebrows, "Am I being arrested?"

  
Michonne didn't smile or laugh but responded, "No. We moved Pete to a different house and put Rick in one to settle things down. Rosita is tending to Tara, and Pete obviously can't clean Rick up. You said you know basic first aid and how to do sutures. And that's exactly what Rick needs."

  
"Are you sure there isn't anyone else?"

  
"He's out cold. You wouldn't have to talk to him."

  
Anna felt wholly uncomfortable, but ultimately agreed. She said goodbye to Carol and walked with Michonne down the street. She led Anna to the house where Rick was being kept and when she entered, it was only furnished with a matress, a pillow , a lamp and a chair. Rick was sprawled out, covered in blood and stripped out of his uniform.

  
Her subconscious groaned. Why? Why did she have to do this?

  
Trying not to let Michonne see her true feelings, she walked to the mattress and sat beside Rick's warm body. He looked like hell. Michonne handed her a first aid kit that must have come from the clinic and a bowl of water and a wash cloth.

  
Michonne sat in the chair and watched as Anna began to clean the blood off Rick's face to see exactly what she is working with. When she finished and reached for the first aid kit and for the rubbing alcohol, she muttered, "Rick, you idiot."

  
"I concur," Michonne agreed.

  
She cleaned and patched him up, luckily he needed very few stitches. Michonne helped her get him into a fresh t-shirt and Anna tucked him in to bed. She couldn't help the tender feelings she had towards him. She wished he would wake up, look at her and feel the same.

* * *

 

Anna and Carol spent the night with Carl and Judith, and the next morning, Carl decided he wanted to finish "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH". He and Anna took turns reading chapters out loud until the last page was read.

"We're the mice aren't we? Having to move before we die?"

  
She looked at Carl and shook her head, "I don't think so. If anything, I think we are closer to the rats. We've been tested and we're intelligent and wanting to be self sufficent."

Carl sat thoughtfully for a moment, "Do you think Michonne would let me visit dad?"

"Of course she would."

Carol said she would like to see Rick as well, and she walked with Carl to where he has being kept. Anna stayed with Judith and decided to sit with her on the porch. She saw Spencer on his way for his turn guarding the gate. She waved at him, and he stopped by to say hello. Judith clapped and he smiled, nearly inspite of himself.

"How are you doing? How are your parents?"

Spencer shrugged, "Busy. Sad. Tired. Mom is calling a meeting tonight, for residents. They are going to talk about Rick. You should probably be there. To make a case for him. All of you should."

  
Anna shrugged and bounced Judith up and down on her knees, "I don't recognize him right now. I don't think it's my place."

  
"They are bringing up banishment, Anna."

  
Her hands trembled as she held Judith. Spencer studied her carefully, "I could be good to you, Anna. Take care of you."

  
"Spencer..." She started.

  
"Just hear me out. I'm prepared to wait. But everything that has happened with Aiden has just made it all the more clear what I want, and what I should be doing with the life I have left."

  
Anna wished she could love Spencer. But Rick and the banishment dominated her thoughts. What about the children? She had to see him as soon as she could.

  
Spencer touched Judith gently on the head and then Anna's cheek. She felt tears sting in her eyes and he caught one with his finger tip, "I'll see you tonight. Maybe you'll let me walk you home?"

  
She nodded wordlessly, the words strangling in her throat.

  
As he walked away...Anna could only think of Rick and seeing him as soon as possible.

* * *

 

Soon after he awoke, Rick was visited by Michonne, Carol, Glenn, Maggie and Abraham. They told him about the meeting, but they didn't care for his plan. He cut their conversation short by telling them he was going back to bed.

  
But that plan was delayed when Anna showed up. Long, dark blonde hair loose and wild green eyes. She was keeping herself calm, but the tremble in her hands betrayed that. She took a seat on the matress hear him.

  
"Michonne told me you patched me up. Thank you...and thank you for watching Carl and Judy."

  
"Rick...we need to talk. Seriously. About what happened yesterday. They want to banish you."

  
He shook his head, "They can try."

  
"Carl and Judith need you. The group needs you. I need you, Rick. You can't throw everyone away for something...someone...you think you want. But you aren't seeing what is right infront of you. What you already have. You acted like a caveman yesterday. I half expected you to kill Pete, club Jessie over the head and drag her to your cave."

  
"You don't know what you are talking about."

Anna nodded, "I do know. You don't have to take. You need someone to give. That person isn't Jessie. Rick, whatever happens tonight, I am going with you. I'd follow you into hell if you'd ask me."

  
It was then he saw it...the ferocity in her eyes. He reached out to her, and took her trembling hand in his. He knew she mean every word she spoke.

  
"Anna, you don't need me. You are strong enough to lead or take care of yourself. whatever might happen tonight, I need you to take care of Carl and Judith for me."

  
Anna shook her head, "Rick..."

  
His hand traveled to her forearm and pulled her closer to him until they were inches apart, "Promise me."

  
Anna shivered and nodded, "I promise."

  
Rick watched her mouth form the words, and felt curious about how she would feel next to him. For a moment, his mouth hovered above hers and his hand traveled to the softness of her cheek. There was something about her. Something that he had originally mistaken as scared or too fragile. She was tenacious, kind and loving. She knew how to get under his skin and stay there.

  
Suddenly, someone opened the door, and before they appeared, Anna pulled away and broke the connection. She stood up and Carol entered the room.

  
"I'm sorry, do you all need a minute?"  
Anna composed herself, "I was just on my way out."

  
He watched as she turned to go, and before she reached the door, she gave him a pleading glance.

* * *

  
Anna went back to her own home after the visit with Rick. She wanted to still be there, in that moment. Inches from him. Just the two of them. There was something there, between them. A kinetic, deep-seeded, uncovered thing. He might not realize it, but she did. She felt it in her whole being to the marrow.

  
She thought about Spencer. His open heart. He was handsome and tall and forthright. He pulled no punches and shot from the hip. It would be easy to love him if she had not met Rick.

  
Rick. The meeting that night. She had to go, had to make them see why Alexandria needed him.

  
Why she needed him.

  
Anna rehearsed over and over what she would say and how she would say it. She would make it just personal enough to show what Rick had done for her, what he had done for his people...the ones he called family.

  
She went upstairs, brushed her hair and teeth and changed into jeans, a navy shirt and the white cardigan with Jeannie's pearls.

  
Anna looked through her books and notebooks of the gardening plans, but she could not focus. She was far too nervous for the meeting. She made herself a cup of tea and put on The Judd's record to the song "Why Not Me?" She stood at the bay window, and looked at the street all the while holding her cup of tea. Suddenly a familiar form appeared in the yard next to hers.

  
Rick had gone home and showered, he wore a long sleeved, camel-colored button down and jeans. He had passed his own home and was heading to hers.

  
She felt herself panic. Anna hung back in the living room until she heard him knock. She gathered all of what she had left of her resolve, placed her cup on the coffee table and answered the door.

  
His eyes were full of questioning and determination.

  
"Come in?" Was all she could muster.

  
This was it. This is where she would break. Anna closed the door behind him and offered him some tea. Rick shook his head and stepped closer to her.

  
"I just came from Jessie's."

  
Anna felt a sadness wash across her, "Oh."

  
He stepped closer to her...Anna's back was close to the living room wall.

  
"I need to know why you came to see me today."

  
"I told you why. I laid it all out for you, Rick."  
He shook his head again, and stepped closer. Her back finally hit the wall.

  
"But you really didn't say it, did you? You said a lot of things close to it, and a lot of things around it. But not what you wanted to say. You said I didn't need to take...I needed someone to give freely. Who would that person be?"

  
She wanted to shrink away, but there was nowhere for her to shrink to. Anna looked away from him, and started, "I..."

  
But before she could says anything else, Rick's hand gently cupped her chin and turned her head to meet him full on. His face was covered with bandages, but his eyes were as blue as can be.

  
He brought his other hand up and he was now holding her face in his hands.

  
"I didn't feel it, until you came to see me. To tell me something. But it's always been there, you and me...hasn't it? This whole time."

  
Anna had no words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing and feeling.

  
"I need to hear you say it, Anna. Tell me. Who is this person?"

  
She felt tears spring into her eyes, but she didn't stop looking at him.

  
"Me, Rick. She's me."

  
And with that, he kissed her lips gently. She felt her back flatten against the wall. Her heart was thumping in her ears. The kiss was feather-light, but she was on fire.

* * *

 

Rick hadn't seen Anna's real, raw feelings for him until she came to see him earlier that day. He hadn't noticed the gold flecks in her green eyes, either. He would have never paired them together in the old world. He would've never thought a wealthy, educated, former debutante would ever want a backwoods-small-town-sheriff's deputy in a million years.

  
But none of that seemed to matter in this world, where the only currency was life and the only trade was survival.

  
That first kiss, though gentle, left Anna stunned. He pulled away slowly and stroked her hair away from her face.

  
"Anna...I know..."

  
Before he could answer, she grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and kissed him again...this time not so gently. He pulled her tightly to him by the hips and his hands circled around the small of her back. Anna's arms snaked around his neck and her hands twisted in his hair.

  
When the kiss ended, they didn't break apart, instead their foreheads touched. Anna was still pressed against him, her short, yet pert and curvy form he could feel every muscle of.  
He pushed the boundaries a bit and let his hands rest just above the curve of her ass.

  
She didn't seem to mind.

  
Anna finally spoke quietly, "Rick...what are we going to do? Tonight..."

  
He shook his head, "I will make them see. I haven't forgotten what I said in the street yesterday. I still believe it."

  
"I meant about Pete...and Jessie."

  
Pete. Jessie. For a blissful moment, he had forgotten about them. What a mess he had made. He wouldn't be able to lie to Anna. He had a thing for Jessie...maybe that was an illusion. He wasn't sure. He had gone to apologize to her before coming to see Anna. Jessie had come about before he realized just what...who...he had in front of him.

  
"We have some stuff to work through, surely. But let's focus on the meeting tonight. Once we are past that, we will address it. but for now, let's keep this...us...just for us."

  
She nodded, and they continued to hold on to each other.

  
"I'd really like to stay, but I should go see Carl and Judith. I would, realily, really like to stay. If all goes well tonight, maybe I could stop by?"

  
Anna smiled, "Of course."

  
Rick wanted to kiss her again, but instead kissed her forehead and bid her goodbye.

  
"I'll see you tonight."

* * *

 

Anna watched him walk away and could still feel his stubble prickle against her skin. She closed the door behind him and pressed her back against it. Her heart was pounding, so hard.

  
The thoughts in her head got confused with the thoughts of just what happened between them.

  
Banishment. The meeting. The feel of his chest. His hands on her hips. Pete. Jessie. His mouth. His eyes. Deanna's anger. Spencer. Poor Spencer.

  
She believed Rick when he said he would make them see. Make them understand.  
They couldn't live in a pretend place that isn't fully armed and protected. Not in times like this. Alexandria was wonderful in theory, but was so vulnerable in so many ways.

  
The pit of Anna's stomach made her aware of the severity of what could happen tonight. Rick gets banished. She would go with him. But the kids? Rick gets banished...maybe they all get on the road again.

  
What about Jessie and Pete? Could they live in the same place...especially now...whatever has happened between Anna and Rick?

  
Later that evening, Anna walked to The Monroe home with Carol. It was a chilly night and the Monroe's had made a fire pit for them all to sit around. It felt like a doomed town hall meeting, or the tribal councils that used to appear on "Survivor."

  
Maybe that was the desired effect.

  
Someone was getting voted off the island.

  
Anna looked around the group. Tobin, Natalie, Abraham, Eugene, Maggie, Michonne, Eric, Jessie and a handful of others she hadn't met yet. She saw Spencer with his parents standing off to the side. He caught her eye and waved. She smiled back, hoping he didn't recognize the sadness in her countenance.  
Glenn, Sasha, Gabriel and Rosita were not there. The latter was more than likely tending to Tara.

  
The most conspicuously missing was Rick.  
Deanna stood infront of the group, "We're going to start. It's getting dark. We have called this meeting to talk about one of our constables. Rick Grimes."

  
The congresswoman went into detail about his behavior. The gun. The fight. Pete's abuse of Jessie.

  
Anna turned to look at Jessie head on. She had not spoken very much with her, nor was she very interested in doing so. Jessie was pale, with a bruise near her eye. She looked pretty in the firelight, her clear blue eyes wide with anxiety.

  
Her stomach did flip flops. What if he still liked her? What if Rick still felt something for her? But what he said to Anna...

  
She put it out of her head. Anna was not raised to with insecurities. She was powerful, headstrong, tenacious. She didn't sink to that notion of women being pitted against each other. Girls compete with each other, Women get what they want.

  
Everyone took turns speaking. Abraham, Carol, Michonne, Maggie. They all spoke from their hearts...except for Carol, who was still wearing her "invisible" ruse.

  
When it was Anna's turn, she stood up slowly and made her case, "I haven't been with Rick's group as long as the others. Noah and I were wards at the same hospital...being kept in indentured servitude. After something bad happened, Rick had come to trade his people being kept as wards for some of the police who kept the hospital. He said anyone who wanted to leave could come with him. I didn't hesitate. As soon as he led me out of that building, I was not scared of walkers, as much as I was other people. This group...accepted me as family. They know, as I know that the dead aren't as much of a threat as are the remaining living. I don't agree with what happened yesterday. But I agree with Rick. This place, it's sheer existence will make other survivors want it. And do anything to get it, or get in. We need to protect ourselves and be united together and not be scared to fight. In this new world, you fight or you die. Complacency is a death wish."

  
Anna looked around the faces in through the fire. Many of her people agreed with her. But many of the original Alexandrians held fast to the idea of a weaponless society. Deanna spoke up in an act of what she called "Transparency". Father Gabriel had come to her and told her that Rick's group could not be trusted. And not one day later, Aiden was killed.

  
Maggie argued that Gabriel should be there. To explain his statements to the community, and so should Rick. Before she could hear anything else, Maggie had turned around and went off to find one or both of them.

  
As an argument against Rick was being said, Rick stormed through the gates of the Monroe yard, covered in gore and blood, and toting a walker on his back, which he unceremoniously dumped on the ground near the fire.

  
A few stood up and screamed. Anna and Carol stood and looked from the dead walker to Rick.

  
"I didn't go and get this. The gate was open."

Deanna looked up at her son, and Spencer looked panicked, "I asked Gabriel to close it."

  
"Go," was the only thing she said.

  
Spencer ran to the gate of the town. Rick looked around to everyone and launched into his defense. About how lucky they have been so far. How others will want to take this place and everything in it.

  
"We'll kill THEM. We'll survive. I'll show you how. I was thinking, how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives? But I'm not gonna do that. YOU'RE gonna change ... You're not ready, but you have to be. Luck runs out."

  
And all Anna could think about is how badly she wanted to touch him.

  
Jessie cried out "No!"

  
Her husband, Pete, barreled his way to Rick, wielding Michonne's sword.

  
"You're not one of us!"

  
Anna felt the panic rise in her throat. He wanted to kill Rick. Reg stepped in front of him to intervene, and Pete sliced Reg Monroe's throat infront of the people of the town.

Deanna screamed and held Reg, easing him to the ground as he gurgled and panicked. Anna heard Deanna call Reg "my love."

  
She burst into tears, and Carol put a hand on her arm.

  
Rick pinned Pete down, holding a gun to his head.

  
When Reg took his final, belabored breath; Deanna looked to Rick and ordered coldly, "Rick...do it."

  
Without hesitation, Rick shot Pete in the head.  
Jessie screamed and Anna turned away. Not because of Pete, but because the man she cared for just traded a bit of his humanity.

* * *

 

Once Rick had fired his gun, he looked up and saw Anna, looking away. Carol was holding her hand in comfort. Jessie was crying. The rest of his group was plain-faced while the Alexandrians looked horrified.

  
When Rick looked up...Daryl and Aaron were standing at the gate to the Monroe's yard. There was someone else with them...and when he looked closer the man looked surprised.

  
"Rick?"

  
Morgan. It was Morgan.

The man who helped him once the world has gone to shit. The man who he had given a walky-talky and had ultimately warned away from Atlanta. The last time they had crossed paths, Morgan was in a certain state that could only be called hysteria. He had lost his son, at the hands of his infected wife.

  
Somehow he was now here. In Alexandria. Daryl and Aaron had found him.

  
He went to greet him, but was still rather amped up from the earlier events. He asked Daryl and Aaron to help get him set up and some food, and that he would be by later to talk to all of them, that he had to get things sorted with Reg and Pete first.  
He asked Michonne and Abraham to take care of the bodies, that they would want to have a memorial the next day. He asked Tobin to tell Spencer what had happened and relieve him at the gate so he could be with his mother.

  
Rick didn't know what to say to tearful Jessie. Except a mumbled "I'm sorry" and a hand squeeze. He told her he would check on her and the boys the next day.

  
Finally, he went to Anna. She looked bewildered, at best.

  
She looked at him with those green eyes and lamented, "Seems like every night you're covered in blood."

  
He could only nod, "I need you to take care of Deanna until Maggie returns. Then relieve Carol and watch Judith and Carl. We'll talk when I get home, ok? I'll tell you everything. Just trust me."

  
She nodded, he wanted to touch her. Reassure her.

  
Instead he watched as she went to Deanna as she still held on to Reg. Carol took out her knife to make sure Reg didn't reanimate and she looked at Rick emotionlessly, "Looks like we're staying put."

* * *

  
Anna manage to coax Deanna away and into the house, he saw Anna watch over her shoulder as Carol used her knife on the side of Reg Monroe's skull. She looked up from the scene to Rick and he knew she felt the same way he did. She nodded to him and followed the weeping congresswoman inside.

Anna knew what it was like to lose her husband. She was thankful she had not truly had to witness it. But Deanna Monroe, and the whole of Alexandria had witnessed Reg's unfortunate, bloody and sad demise.  
She sat quietly on the couch with Deanna. She offered to make her tea. Deanna just grabbed Anna's hand in reply.

  
"I can't be alone right now. I need my son."

  
Anna nodded and squeezed Deanna's hand, "Spencer will be here soon."

  
"You said, in your interview, that you lost your husband and child."

  
"Yes. Well, I had a miscarriage. I was almost four months along. Phillip and I wanted a baby more than anything. We'd tried for a long time. I suppose it wasn't meant to be. My husband was helping treat people during the outbreak when the bombs came. I was told he died instantly."

  
"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for all your pain." Deanna was weeping quietly.

  
Anna shook her head, she was still being a politician, "Deanna..." And with that she wrapped her arms around the leader of Alexandria and embraced her "...you don't have be strong for me. I know how strong you are."

  
Deanna wailed openly, her tears staining Anna's sweater. She continued to cry until finally, Spencer hurried through the door.  
"Mom!"

  
Anna let go of Deanna and she ran to her son. They threw their arms about each other in grief. Not far behind Spencer was Maggie. Maggie looked drawn and tired. Anna walked and stood beside her.

  
"She is the constant politician. Remind her it's ok to feel it...to feel everything."

  
Maggie nodded, "Anna...I know we don't talk frequently. But thank you for the things you said tonight."

  
Anna nodded solemnly and showed herself out of the Monroe home and made her way down the street to Rick's home. She was tired and sad and really just wanted to go to bed and forget about the day, if that was even possible.

  
She knocked on the door and Carol answered, emotionless as ever and let her in. Carl was on the couch with Judith, but the house was still and ghostly quiet.

  
Carol sighed, "What a mess. Rick wants me to come talk with him and Daryl at Aaron's house. You think you can handle these two?"

  
Anna nodded, "Yep."

  
With that, Carol put her hand on Carl's shoulder and bid them goodbye. When Carol left, Carl spoke up.

  
"You look sad."

  
Anna nodded, "It's been a long day. Saw some bad stuff."

  
"Carol told me. This whole world is full of bad stuff."

  
She shook her head, "Not completely. There are bright spots. You and Judith, for instance. There are still families, and love, and people trying to work together. All is not lost."

  
Carl sighed, "Feels like it is. We're gonna have to build everything all over again. What if nothing stops or nothing get's better? Ever? What if this is it?"

  
"You know, people have been asking that very question since the dawn of time. And the answer, in every single situation is...you gotta fight, make your way and find out for yourself."

  
Carl handed Judith to Anna, "I think I am going to go to bed. Will you let dad know I'll see him in the morning?"

  
Anna nodded and they said goodnight to each other. She found the copy of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" that she had left for Carl and picked it up and climbed the stairs to Judith's room with the baby on her hip.

  
In that moment, she let herself think about waiting for Phillip to come home and putting their baby to bed. How it should be versus how it really was.

  
She sat in Judith's makeshift nursery, in the mixmatched rocking chair next to her mixmatched crib. Anna read to Judith in a low voice and rocked until the baby's sweet head rested on her chest. Ten minutes more and Anna gently stood up and placed sleeping Judith in her bed. She turned out the light and cracked the door. She checked in on Carl and he too was was asleep.

  
Anna descended the staircase and sat in the living room on the couch and waited. She noticed that Rick's home had a cd player...and next to it the folder of cd's from the car. The Band was still there, and Willie Nelson...Neil Young, Emmylou Harris, Lotetta Lynn, Johnny Cash and and Ryan Adams...she took out the Emmylou Harris disc and put it on. She dialed the volume down low and curled up on the couch and waited for Rick to come home.

  
She fell asleep on the couch after too long and she remembered drifting off to "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues."

  
When she awoke, she saw Rick sitting at her feet on the couch, his hand held on gently to her foot. He had showered, his hair was still damp. Anna sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

  
"Is it morning? What time is it?"

  
Rick looked at his wristwatch, "It's very early morning, not quite two. Got in about a half hour ago. I didn't have the heart to wake you, you looked so peaceful."

  
She inched closer to him and took his face in her hands and checked out her handiwork from the day before, "Are you ok?"

  
"I should be asking you the same thing. I saw you turn away."

  
Anna shook her head, "I wasn't turning from you. I just couldn't personally watch anymore. "

  
Rick took her hands with his and held them in his lap, "Carol told me what you said tonight. At the meeting. Thank you."

  
"I didn't say anything that wasn't true. If we want this place to flourish, we have to be prepared to fight for it."

  
"How did I not notice?" He asked.

  
She shook her head, not understanding.

  
"How did I not notice you, the real you? Was I that blind? I'm ashamed to have underestimated you."

  
Anna smiled softly, "In your defense, you had a lot going on. Are you hungry? There's no way you have eaten today."

  
He shook his head no, and she lead him to the kitchen and made him a mug of tea and a package of Ramen noodles.

  
She sat down with him at the table, her own mug in her hands and took him in. She couldn't believe what had changed in 24 hours, for good or ill.

Mostly the good.

  
"You said that you would tell me everything. I want to tell you everything, too."

* * *

 

Rick sighed and looked at the straight shooting woman sitting next to him. Lori would have called her a "pistol." Lori...so that's what he started with. Getting married. Having Carl. Being a Sherriff's deputy. Shane. Getting shot. Being in a long coma and waking up to the dead. Morgan and his son. Atlanta. Meeting Glenn. Finding Lori and Carl. The CDC. Carl getting shot. Sophia. Herschel's farm. The Prison. Lori dying. Judith. The Governor. The sickness. The standoff. Being separated. Terminus. Bob. What happened in the church. Finally Beth and Grady Memorial.

  
He kept waiting to see horror or disgust wash across her face, but it never did. Anna just listened and nodded as the dark, bloody story continued. When he finished she stayed silent and merely took his hand. Rick squeezed her small hand in return.

  
"Ok. Your turn."

  
Anna looked pensive, but began with meeting and marrying Philip Marber when she had graduated from college. She worked at a law office until he finished medical school...once he climbed the ranks to Chief of Surgery, she was able to stay home and hopefully focus on starting a family. A dream that was hard fought and never truly realized. She found out she was pregnant prior to the outbreak. Philip was needed in Atlanta, so they both traveled to Grady for fear of separation. Anna helped at the hospital where she could. Then the bombing happened. Philip was helping people get in medical transports outside. He was killed instantly. With all the stress, she miscarried soon after.

  
Anna then went into details of the abuse from Dawn. The harassment at the hands of male officers. The fear of being sexually assaulted or the beatings, which proved to be incessant on Dawn's part. Then came the day of the exchange for Beth and Carol, the day Anna considered her rebirth.

  
"When I saw your face, when you said whoever wanted to could join you...I knew I had to, Rick. It wasn't a question."

  
With that, Rick stood up and took Anna's hands and pulled her up to meet him. He didn't have the words to tell her that he was glad she made the decision. That she was wonderful with both Carl and Judith, that any child would have been fortunate to call her 'mom'. That he was sorry he didn't realize sooner. That she somehow still saw the best in him when he felt his humanity slipping every day. That he is still shocked that a woman like her could feel so much for a broken man like him. That she looked like an angel when she slept and would do just about anything to have her in his bed.

  
So instead, he lead her to the couch, put on the Willie Nelson cd and held her close to him. He didn't want to talk about the trap Aaron and Daryl came across. Not at that moment. At that moment, he just wanted sleep and have Anna beside him. The new, normal feeling of all of this, and not the feeling of having to take a man's life.

  
Rick pressed his lips to Anna's forehead, and felt her breathing slow into slumber as she rested on his chest.

  
Yes. This is all he needed. The rest could be addressed in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, after this chapter is when I continued to write after the season five finale. From here on out I used the comics as my guide, so things are dissimilar to the show in some points. I fudged some of the incidents in order to truly not spoil anyone. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Anna awoke in dim sunlight, a light throw over her. She remembered the sound of Rick's heartbeat and Willie Nelson lulling her to sleep. Anna stretched against the pillows of the couch, not really wanting to face the sadness or the realness of the day.

She felt her cheeks warm at the thought of the night before, laying everything bare with Rick. Anna felt happier than she should, considering the memorials for Reg and Pete and having to deal with Jessie, who was now a widow.

She finally sat up and looked around and saw movement in the kitchen. Anna padded quietly to the linoleum and saw Rick, with Judith on his lap, sitting at the table attempting to feed her oatmeal and apple sauce. Anna leaned against the doorway and smiled.

He finally noticed her and she saw a ghost of a smile pull at his lips. "Hey there."

Anna nodded, "Hey back. Need some help?"

"Sure."

She sat close to them and took the spoon from Rick's hand. Judith looked up at her with her huge eyes and Anna couldn't resist kissing her sweet little forehead before ladling a spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth. She looked down to get some applesauce next, but felt Rick's hand on her face. When she looked up, he leaned in and kissed her softly on her lips.

He pulled away slowly and chuckled, "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

Anna felt herself flush, "Nothing to be sorry about."

Once Judith was fed, Rick handed her to Anna, and he set out to fix breakfast for them. Anna bounced Judith on her knees and asked, "Where's Carl?"

"Got up early. Went to go visit Ron and Sam."

Anna nodded, how could she forget? Suddenly, that old black rain cloud rolled back in. She wanted to stay here in their little, sunny bubble and not have to see the heartbreak today.

Rick sat a mug of strong, black coffee infront of her and a bowl of oatmeal. She took her spoon and stirred in a bit of the applesauce for flavor. When Rick sat down with his own breakfast, Anna took a bite of oatmeal and continued to bounce Judith on her knee.

"So tell me the plan for today."

Rick stirred his oatmeal with his spoon, "Tend to Deanna and Spencer. Get plans in order to get the community ready. Stop in and see Jessie and the boys."

Anna hated to admit that she didn't really like that last part. But she also knew that Rick was responsible for killing Pete...infront of all of the adults in Alexandria. He would have to try and make some sort of amends. If that was even possible.

It must have read across her face, because his hand took hers, "Anna, let's ride this out. Keep things to ourselves until things heal a bit. I made a rash decision about Jessie. And now I killed her husband, in front of her. It's time to tread lightly."

"I know. Part of me would just like to stay inside this little bubble with you and Judy."

Rick smiled sadly, "So would I."

The intensity broke between them when the front door slammed. Rick and Anna both sprung to their feet and Anna held Judith close to her.

They didn't need to wonder for too long, because Carl came into the kitchen sporting his dad's Sherriff's hat and a newly formed black eye.

Rick reached out for his son, "Carl, what in the hell happened?"

"Ron wasn't too happy that my dad killed his dad. He punched me in front of Enid."

Anna grimaced, Carl's eye was turning blue purple as she watched. He also had a bit of a cut on his cheek. Rick sighed and put his hands on his hips, which was an indicator that he was angry, Anna had learned.

"Is that it?"

Carl shook his head, " No. I hit him, too. And then came home."

Rick sighed, Anna put a hand on his arm and motioned for him to take Judith, "I've got this. Maybe we should keep our distances from the Andersons for now...until after the memorial."

Rick took Judith and Anna sat Carl down in a kitchen chair. She took a dishtowel and a wet wash cloth. She cleaned up his cut and then filled the towel with ice from the freezer tray. She held it to his eye and told him to keep it there until it melted. Carl nodded and then skulked off upstairs and his bedroom door slammed.

They stood in silence for a moment, until Anna spoke up, "I think he's more upset about Enid seeing it. Teenage boy egos don't change...even in the apocalypse."

Rick turned to her, "You mean..."

"Yes. Your son is sweet on a girl. Same girl who is currently Ron's girlfriend."

Rick shook his head, "Ouch."

Anna agreed, "Yeah. You got that right. All sorts of teenage angst."

Rick closed the gap between them and Judith clapped happily. Anna stroked her baby-fine hair and smiled. Rick's hand snaked around her waist and pulled her close.

"I think I'm going to go next door and clean up. Maybe find some flowers for poor Deanna."

Rick nodded, "I hope I get a chance to see you later. Just us."

Anna fought the cheesy grin she wanted to display giddily. She wanted more than anything to see him that night. "I hope so, too. Let's try to keep the trouble to a minimum today."

With that, she kissed him slowly and then kissed Judith's smiling cheek and once finding her shoes, made her way next door.

When Anna got home, she took a hot shower and braided her long, yellow gold hair to the side. She wore the black dress again and went downstairs and into the back yard to find the small set of pruning shears she had found in the shed.

She began her hunt around the sides of the house and then the little shed. All she could find were clusters of little purple Johnny Jump-ups and Baby's Breath near the fence. It wasn't much to work with, but it would do.

Anna clipped bunches of both flowers and took them inside. She found small glass jelly jar and a tatted lace doily and attemped a sort of tussie-mussie arrangement by cutting a hole in the doily, sticking the stems through and then putting the whole bouquet in the small jar full of water.

Anna cleaned up the kitchen and picked up her humble gift, left her house and then made her way down the street to the Monroe home. She was nervous, she hadn't really spoken to Spencer since the the day he told her about the meeting.

She didn't even know if she could look at him without giving herself away. He said he could be good to her, take care of her.

But she had made her choice.

When Anna reached the front door, all of the blinds were shut and the house looked dark. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. For several minutes, she waited and wondered if she should leave the flowers, until she heard slow fumbling at the door.

When it opened, Spencer appeared. He was drunk off his ass.

"Hi Anna." He hiccuped.

"I just came by to check on you and your mom. Brought her some wildflowers. You been drinking?"

"A little."

"Have either of you eaten anything?"

Spencer shook his head and took a drunken step sideways. Anna stepped inside the house and took Spencer by the arm.

"Come on, I will make you all something."

She lead Spencer into the kitchen and sat him in a chair at the table and put the small jar of flowers in the center of the table. Anna skimmed the pantry quickly. Rice, instant potatoes, oatmeal and cubes of bullion were the only things that jumped out as comforting. So, steel cut oats it was.

As the water boiled on the stove, Anna placed a glass of water infront of Spencer and told him to drink. Once the oatmeal was ready, Anna ladeled out two heaping bowls and added a bit of powdered cinnamon she had found. She refilled Spencer's glass and sat his bowl infront of him and stuck in a spoon.

"Spencer? Is your mom upstairs?"

He nodded and shoveled oatmeal into his mouth. She found a tray and took the second bowl to Deanna along with a mug of her oolong tea. Anna climbed the steps carefully and saw the shut door of the master bedroom.

Anna knocked timidly, "Deanna?"

When there was no answer, she let herself in. In the dark room she could make out Deanna's tiny form in the bed. Anna placed the tray on the dresser and went to open the blinds. When the sunlight streamed in, Deanna rolled over and groaned. "I don't want to see anyone."

Anna nodded, "I know. I won't stay. I just wanted to bring you some food."

"If I hadn't let any of you in, Reg and Aiden would be still alive."

Anna was taken aback, this didn't sound like the Deanna she knew. She looked at the bed, and then saw the two empty bottles of wine on the side table.

"I know you think that now, Deanna. But I know you truly don't feel that way. Do you want me to tell them to delay the memorials? Until tomorrow morning?"

"I suppose that is for the best. I can't do it today."

Anna turned the blinds again, and the room darkened once more, "There is food on the dresser if you are hungry. I'll make sure someone brings some dinner. Maybe not drink again until after the memorials?"

She heard Deanna sob, "I'm sorry, Anna. I didn't mean that. I'm just so angry and sad all at once."

She knew that feeling. She wasn't mad at the former congresswoman, instead she shook her head, "I know Deanna. Please eat something."

Anna shut the bedroom door behind her and walked down the stairs. Spencer was asleep at the table, his arms cradling his head. His bowl of oatmeal was empty, so Anna showed herself out.

She walked two houses down to Maggie and Glenn's and knocked on the door. Maggie looked anxious when she opened the door, "Anna! I am so glad you're here. I've been trying to help Glenn...he came home shot this morning."

Anna shook her head, "What?"

Maggie pulled her into the house and Glenn sat on the couch applying pressure to his shoulder. "I don't suppose you want to tell me what happened?"

Glenn shook his head, "Not really, but do you think you can help? We're trying to involve as few people as possible."

It hit Anna that now that Pete was gone, he could no longer attend to the critically wounded. Maggie nodded, "I've cleaned him up and we were lucky, he got shot straight through. But we need an extra pair of hands."

She nodded and went to wash her hands. She helped Maggie stitch up Glenn, dress his wound and settle him on the couch. When Glenn drifted into an exhausted slumber, Maggie asked Anna why she had come.

"Well, I just came from the Monroe's house. Both Deanna and Spencer have been drowning their sorrows. Neither of them are up to the memorials tonight. And you being her secretary, I thought you could get the word out that they have been moved to the morning. And maybe someone could take them some dinner?"

Maggie squeezed her hand, "Absolutely. Thank you so much, Anna."

Anna nodded and showed herself to to door. She felt completely ragged. She walked down the street to Carol's house, Rick mentioned that he was going to catch up with Morgan, Michonne and Daryl there.

* * *

 

Rick, Carol, Michonne and Daryl all listened with rapt attention to Morgan's stories of his journey. How he looked for signs and found them. And those signs led him there, to Rick, just as God had intended. He had even gone to Gabriel's church and found the map Abraham had given him. The one with Rick's name on it.

Morgan, since Rick had last encountered him, had become very zen. Hopeful even.

They also discussed the trap at the food plant that Aaron and Daryl got stuck in. The walkers with the "W" carved in their head. Rick saw it as all the more reason to prepare the Alexandrians to fight. To be ready. They talked together, bounced ideas off of each other and thought about running the place as they had run the prison.

A knock came upon Carol's door and she rose to open it. Rick heard Anna greet Carol and she made her way in. She looked tired from the last time he saw her. He remembered the feel of her against his chest on the couch and they met eyes furtively.

Anna gave a wave to everyone and spoke up, "I just wanted to drop by and tell everyone that I stopped by Deanna Monroe's house and neither she or Spencer are feeling up to the memorials today and asked that we move them to the morning."

Michonne raised an eyebrow, "Not feeling up to it?"

Anna nodded, "No. Not at all. I'm actually worried about Deanna. I stopped by Maggie's to see if she could take them some dinner later."

Carol offered Anna some coffee and she declined and said her goodbyes. Rick popped up and followed her outside.

"Hey, are you ok?" He called after her.

She turned around and nodded and then walked closer to him, "I'm fine, Rick. Deanna and Spencer had been drinking all night. Hadn't eaten, and as far as I could tell, she was somewhere in between spitting mad and soul crushingly depressed."

He wanted to take her hands, comfort her. But he knew too many eyes were watching at the moment.

"I was wondering if you could go check on Carl for me? He has Judith. I was going to swing by the Andersons before I came home."

Anna looked surprised and walked closer, "You sure that is a good idea? With Carl..."

Rick put a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Trust me, Anna. I'll be home later. We'll talk then. I wanna talk to you about the school, too."

She looked at him with those green eyes, and all he wanted to do was kiss her infront of God and everybody. She nodded and said, "I trust you. I'll go check on Carl and Judy."

He watched her walk away, and then walked back into Carol's house to bid goodbye to the others, so he could check in on Jessie and her kids and be home to spend time with Anna and his own kids.

The delay in the memorials made things less real, like they had another evening of respite before the overhaul of Alexandria began. In the morning, they would bury their dead and begin anew. They would fight, protect and build together.

And he hoped that he and Anna would eventually be able to go public...and maybe even live in the same home, sleep in the same bed. But for the time being, he had to keep the status quo. Make amends with Jessie somehow. Wait for things to settle down, and then build the community together with a real line of defense.

* * *

 

 Rick saw the tarp laid over Jessie's front window, the same window he and Pete had crashed through earlier in the week.

What a mess.

He took a sharp inhale and ascended the porch steps to the door. Before he could even get to the door, Jessie opened it...her pale hair pulled back into a ponytail and her eyes were red and swollen.

"Rick...I don't think you should be here, Ron is in a state."

He agreed with that. He started to wish that he never got involved. He didn't like that Pete abused Jessie...but standing there at that moment, he realized his feelings had been misplaced. "I just wanted to stop by. Check in."

"If this is about Carl and Ron..."

Rick shook his head,"It isn't. I want to make ammends somehow, but it might take some time."

Jessie nodded and stepped close to him, "I know Pete wasn't the best man. But he was my husband and father of my boys...but when you looked at me...I felt..."

Rick took her by the shoulders and put some distance in between them, it was a bigger mess than he thought, "Jessie. I'm sorry. I just wanted you and the boys to be safe."

She looked up at him, "I think we'd be safe with you."

He shook his head once more, "You'll be safe, but it's going to be because you and the boys will learn to protect yourselves and this place."

Rick slowly backed away and walked down the porch steps. He was feeling rather uncertain as to what he could do or say to remedy his mistake. He walked down the street, noticing the ghostly quiet.

Alexandria was getting it's bearings and preparing for the next wave. As he walked the steps to his house, he saw Anna and Carl through the window, sitting on a blanket on the floor, playing with Judith. In that moment, he wished that was the only reality he knew. Going home to his kids. Seeing the lady he had a thing for...maybe taking her out for a full-fledged date.

However, the truth of the matter was if things had stayed the way they were...Lori and Phillip would have been alive, and Anna and Rick would have never met. Anna might have a baby of her own, and there may not have ever been a Judith.

Rick made his entrance and all three of them looked up and smiled. Judith clapped and Rick locked the door and sat on the floor with them. "What are you guys up to?"

Carl smiled, and was now sporting a blue-black bruised eye, "Judith is crawling. Trying to stand."

Rick looked surprised, "Really?"

"I think you're gonna have to get her some shoes. She's going to be walking soon." Anna added happily. She still looked tired, a bit drawn. But she held out her hands to Judith and she army crawled over to Anna's lap. Anna took Judith's little hands in her own, and the baby hoisted herself up on her chubby, unsteady legs. Once she was at full stand, Judith turned to Rick, as if trying to see his reaction.

He smiled broadly and planted a kiss on her chubby cheek and she laughed. "I can't believe it. I guess we haven't been in one place long enough to let her sit or crawl around. She was always carried."

Anna chuckled, "Well, you better get ready Dad. You will soon have a toddler. You should probably baby proof."

Carl stood up and looked to Rick, "I told Enid I would meet her at dusk. Is it ok?"

Rick looked to Anna, who shrugged and then to Carl," Ok, but do not go to the Andersons, and don't sneak outside the gates. Make sure you come home at a respectable time and be on the lookout for trouble."

Carl nodded in agreement and said goodbye to them. Once the door was shut, Rick turned to Anna, who held Judith in her lap. "I really mucked things up with Jessie."

Anna good-naturedly rolled her eyes, "I coulda told you that, constable. So tell me what happened."

Rick told her everything about the encounter with Jessie and how panicked and sad she seemed. How he had to distance himself. How he wanted to make amends.

"It just needs time." That was all Anna said.

He knew she was right. They sat on the floor with Judith for a while longer. Rick noticed a pile of books and a notebook. Some on gardening and the rest were kids books like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," "A Wrinke in Time" and "The Little Prince."

Anna noticed where he was looking and said, "I didn't know how long you'd be gone, so I brought my gardening books and plans. Also some books for me, Carl and Judith to read. We've already read two in the past few days. I guess Jeannie and Tom had grandkids. Plenty of kids books."

"I know Reg was going to help with the gardens. I'm sorry."

Anna shook her head, "He was a very nice man. Very much about progress. He gave me some good ideas, I am going to do my best to execute them the way he said. I was thinking about going to talk to Eugene, being that he is a science teacher. Maybe he could help with the school?"

"I think that sounds likes good idea. I had some ideas about the school too. I was thinking that maybe we can move the classes to your house? That way you can all work in the back yard?"

Anna shrugged "It works for me." "And starting as soon as possible, Michonne, Morgan, Carol, Daryl and I are going to teach everyone to fight. So we can protect Alexandria, from humans and walkers alike. Daryl, Aaron and Morgan found some sort of trap that has me concerned. We can't rest on our laurels about this one."

Anna took Rick's hand, "You're doing the right thing. I trust you. Just like I said, to hell and back."

He squeezed her hand, "I really wish it could stay just like this. But we both know in this world, it's not logical."

* * *

 

Anna looked at him as Judith crawled to him and stuck her pudgy hand in his face. He scooped her up and kissed her cheek. She really wished it could stay just like this, too. Anna would happily play house with Rick, Carl and Judith for the rest of her days. But he was right. They'd only be lying to themselves and offering themselves up for more danger than they could bargain for.

Rick didn't go into detail about the trap Daryl, Aaron and Morgan had escaped from, but the less information made her imagination run completely wild. She remembered the night before, and Rick telling her about all the atrocities he had encountered. The Governor and then the Terminus cannibals...and the scavengers who raped and murdered. She shivered at the thought.

Their little bubble could burst at any time, and they couldn't wait for too long. Rick stood up, Judith on his hip and offered his free hand to help her stand, "I'm going to give Judith a bath and settle her down for the night. How about you put on the kettle and we will talk some more?"

Anna nodded and kissed Judith's forehead and said good night. For good measure, she kissed Rick's cheek, too. He just smiled a handsome smile and went upstairs. Anna grabbed her books and her notebook and made her way to the kitchen. Anna filled the kettle and got out two mugs and some earl grey tea bags.

She sat down at the table, looking over the sketches and notes that Reg Monroe had given her, in all actuality, she was gutted to have lost him. He was an inventive man and one that had hoped that they could rebuild society from the floor up. She learned so much just having listened to him teach and and talking to him here and there. Anna saw him as their last great thinker, if anyone could rebuild society, it was him. But now he was gone.

She was hoping to see what kind of gardens, if any were in the neighborhood and if they were being tended to. The kettle whistled and she poured hot water into both mugs.

Before she knew it, Rick came back down stairs and sat at the table beside her and smiled, "Out like a light. She must've played hard today...do you mind if I look at your ideas? "

Anna pushed the notebook infront of him and scooted closer so she could explain her shorthand notes, "I was thinking a system of raised garden beds. It's better for the soil and keeps away pests. I would just need help building them, really, which is guess where the kids come in. We don't have farmland, so with the residential setting it would help, too."

Rick nodded and pulled playfully at the end of her braid, "I think it might just work. We had quite the farmer at the prison. Hershel. He was Maggie and Beth's dad. We had veggies and animals and corn and grain."

She smiled sadly, knowing that Maggie was the only remaining member of her family. "I'd like to build tomato cages. I'm not sure if I could help much in the grain and corn area. I just had a small patch of earth in our backyard, along with some flowers. But I could always learn, too."

Rick took a sip from his mug and nodded, "Tomorrow after the memorials, we can get everyone together and ask if anyone has previous experience, backyards or otherwise."

Anna stood and reached for her empty mug and asked, "You getting hungry? I could fix something...save some for Carl."

As she walked to the sink in front of the window , to rinse out the mug, Rick rose to his feet and stood behind her, while wrapping his arms around her waist. It was such a simple, blissful moment...neither of them realized they were being watched from the dark back yard.

* * *

 

Rick realized he was probably in need of a cold shower. He and Anna could barely keep their hands off of each other. They flirted, teased and tested boundaries in a relatively innocent fashion all evening. He knew though, that despite the innocence...both of them wanted more.

Their primal attraction to each other was reaching a fever pitch. It had been a long time...for both of them. Luckily, Carl came home and they cooled off, and put up a platonic facade infront of him.

Anna made canned green beans, corn and rice for dinner and they all sat at the table together to eat. Rick noticed how she used fine, Miss Manners approved etiquette. Napkin draped in her lap, the way she sat up straight and didn't put her elbows on the table...something he and Carl failed at.

Carl asked through a mouthful of food, "What did you do to your hair?"

Anna smiled, "Braid felt too tight."

Rick felt a smirk was across his face, knowing the truth. He would definitely need a cold shower if he was expecting to make it through the night.

Anna asked non-chalantly, "So what did you and Enid do?"

"Talked mostly. About our time...out there." Rick looked at his son, and realized that they truly had been near-feral before they came to Alexandria. If they had stayed out much longer...it would've been like "Lord of the Flies."

The rest of dinner went by quietly, and Carl excused himself in favor of going to bed. Rick and Anna cleaned up the dishes and soon Anna was picking up her books and getting ready to leave.

"I really wish you'd stay." He commented from the threshold of the kitchen.

She looked at him knowingly and shook her head. "What happened to tread carefully? I have spent one night in my own home. Town's too small and we'd be found out fast."

Rick walked up and stood closer to her, "What if I said i didn't care?"

"Ah, it's not that easy, Rick. Though times may be different...I still like to be romanced. It's no fun jumping right in to sack and never being able to keep clothes on."

Rick was going to need two cold showers at this rate, because what she just described sounded amazing.

"Romance? While the dead walk outside our walls?"

Anna flashed him a coy smile and stepped close to him, putting down her books and placing her hands on his hips, "I promise, it will be worth it."

Jesus, he wanted to throw her over his shoulder and take her to bed right then and there, but rationally, he knew she was right. He pulled her closer and hugged her to him, "I know it's worth it. You're worth it."

They stood there, wrapped in each other's arms for awhile, and finally Anna broke away and kissed him sweetly.

"Goodnight, constable. See you in the morning."

With that, she picked up her books and opened the front door and walked out. He watched her until she made it to her front door. Anna waved at him and disappeared inside.

Rick shut and locked the front door and went upstairs to take a shower

* * *

 

 

Even in the cool darkness of her bedroom, Anna could not sleep soundly. She dreamed feverish dreams starring Rick, and then would change settings to the Savannah Christmas Cotillion ball.

She came out to society there, a year into college. Her father was a member of the club, his ancestors grew deep roots in Georgia.

In her dream, she was wearing the white ball gown she and her mother searched for months for, opera length white gloves and her long hair secured in a sleek chignon. The ball room was off, something wasn't right. Her escort was faceless and it took her multiple times to complete her curtsy, the St. James Bow, when presented.

When she finally executed it correctly and stood up, the crowd had morphed into hundreds of walkers in cotillion finery. They circled around her, and were getting closer. She panicked, the rotting flesh and deep red blood became more real and soon they were upon her. The dead debutantes and club members tore at her skin, making her bleed and one lunged at her neck, ripping through the muscle and sinew...her white gown covered in her own fresh blood and walker gore... Anna woke up with a scream in the hour before dawn.

Her heart thumped and climbed up into her throat. It all seemed so real. She laid in bed for another hour, but felt defeated by trying to rest peacefully. So she got up, showered, twisted and pinned her hair in a low bun and donned the black dress and pearls once again.

Anna looked tired...perhaps even a little delicate. Her normally clear green eyes were bloodshot and rimmed in red. Maybe she should have stayed at Rick's. But she would've known what happened If she did.

All of that remarkable, palpable tension between them would have turned them into two animals in heat. She made herself a cup of tea, and opted for sitting on the front porch to get some fresh air.

When she opened the door...a piece of paper dropped out. She bent to pick it up and when she unfolded it, a dark red heart was drawn.

Anna smiled, thinking it was from Rick, trying to romance her.

It wasn't an overly sunny day. A bit of cloud cover languished in the sky. Appropriate for laying loved ones to rest.

As she sipped her tea, she saw more people emerging from their houses and heading to the area between houses where Alexandria called their cemetery. Carol, Michonne and Daryl walked past and Anna rushed down the steps to walk with them, in want of people she knew to take her mind off of being in various stages of undress with Rick or being eaten alive at the walker cotillion.

Daryl gave her a sidewise glance, "Morning, Highness."

It was then that she realized, Daryl was never going to let her privileged past go. But it also reminded her of Princess Leia and Han Solo in "Star Wars," which she thought was hilarious. She might even call him a "Scruffy-looking Nerf Herder" at some point...because that description fit him well.

"Morning, Daryl."

Carol and Michonne greeted her with nods. Michonne was carrying her sword, and Daryl had his crossbow. Carol was more than likely packing, too.

"This is going to be a long day." Michonne grumbled.

Carol agreed, "Especially after the last time the whole town was together. Rick and Jessie should be really entertaining."

Anna felt herself burn beneath the skin...she wished she didn't have to hear about Jessie anymore. Yes, poor woman who had a shitty husband abuse her. Yes, poor woman who saw her shitty husband killed infront of her.

But no...not Rick. If it came to it, Anna would fight for him. To hell and back.

There were two fresh graves dug out beside many others. Father Gabriel stood at the head of both and others in the community surrounded him. Beautiful, sad, widowed Jessie and her boys stood beside drawn and pale Deanna Monroe and handsome and brooding Spencer. Anna took her place beside Daryl and Carol and Glen and Maggie.

Anna looked around timidly and finally rested eyes on Rick, clean shaven and standing with Carl, Morgan and toted little Judith on his hip. His blue eyes met hers for a brief moment and she realized just how badly she wished to stand beside him.

Father Gabriel began his eulogies about Reg and Pete. Pete's was understandably less personal and uplifting. Anna found herself watching Jessie intently. She was holding on to her sons and throwing darting glances in Rick's direction.

Gabriel finished with, "In the book of Revelation it is written in chapter 21, verse 4 that 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'"

The old order indeed. But where was the new one?

When Gabriel had finished speaking, the community began, one by one, to pick up fistfuls of dirt and throw it down into the graves. After she had thrown her contributions, she walked up to Deanna and Spencer to pay her respects. She hugged Deanna, who felt small and fragile in her arms.

Then she hugged Spencer, who buried his head in her neck and let his hands wander too close to her rear end. Anna managed to segue out of the hug in a non-awkward way and Deanna took her by the hand.

"Thank you...for yesterday. I am truly sorry for what I said."

Anna shook her head, "Deanna, don't be silly. I've had similar days."

The congresswoman took Anna by the arm and they walked towards the Monroe home, "I've invited everyone for drinks, it's how Reg would've wanted it. Would you mind watching out for Spencer? He's all I've got left and he cares for you."

 Anna was gobsmacked. No, no, no, no, no. "I'll keep an eye on him. He is a good man and friend."

Deanna shot her a sly look and shook her head, "He'd be good to you."

Anna almost choked on her words, "That's what I hear. But Deanna...I'm not interested...in connections like that."

A bald-faced lie. She was very interested in connections like that. Just with Rick and not Spencer.

The older woman patted her hand, "Give it time."

Anna continued to walk with Deanna but her eyes shot around for Rick. When she finally found him, he was walking beside Jessie and her youngest son, Sam.

* * *

 

Rick didn't like how "comfortable" Spencer got with Anna at his father's gravesite. He was still thinking about it at the Monroe's house after the memorial.

Carl took Judith at the gathering, and he spied Anna in a corner, drinking three fingers worth of Reg's whiskey. He wandered over to her casually and he saw her eyes light up just a bit and she stood up straight.

"Easy on the spirits, Anna."

She gave him a sideways smile and whispered, "Oh I'm sorry constable. I'm just drowning my sorrows, which include getting felt up by the congresswoman's son. If I swat his hand, would I be the asshole?"

She was clearly a little bit drunk.

"Oh and let's not forget the way Jessie's been looking at you all morning. If I lay claim to you, again I am the asshole. I don't like being the asshole."

Rick tried very hard not laugh at her and whispered, "You're not an asshole, sweetheart. But you might need to eat something."

She beamed, "I like being called sweetheart. But I can hold my liquor, my dad might have raised me as a debutante...but I'm not a ninny...but there is a chance I am an asshole."

Rick looked around and saw Daryl trying to be invisible from socializing. He met eyes with Daryl and signaled for him to come over.

"What's up?"

Rick gestured to Anna, who was nursing the last of her whiskey, "I think Anna needs some fresh air and maybe some water. Had a little too much, too quick. I know you'd prefer to be outside...can you take her?"

Daryl shrugged and didn't really respond, but he slung his crossbow over his shoulder, filled a glass of water for Anna and led her out the back door by the arm, "Comeon, Cupcake."

The look on Anna's face was priceless.

Rick took up her empty glass, and Jessie appeared out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey Rick."

He nodded his head, "Jessie."

She stepped close to him, "I just wanted to apologize about Ron and Carl."

"There's really no need."

She sighed and tears welled up in her eyes, "I just don't feel safe anymore. I haven't been sleeping. The kids are always fighting. I miss having a body in bed with me...do you think you and the could stay with us?"

Rick shook his head.

No, no, no, no, no.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Especially after Mikey and Carl's altercation. I could send Michonne or Carol to stay with you though. They wouldn't mind."

Jessie turned her head, "Ok. How about dinner sometime? You could come to ours...or us to yours?"

He had really screwed the pooch. And was now paying for it.

"We've gotta start getting Alexandria on it's legs, Jessie. I thank you for the offer, but the next few weeks are going to be busy."

Rick said his goodbyes and went to look for Carl and Judith, but felt Jessie still looking in his direction.

* * *

 

Anna had been surprised that Daryl had walked her outside. She was even more surprised that he had called her something nice...like Cupcake.

He sat her down near the fire pit, the same spot Reg and Pete had met their ends. Daryl thrusted a tepid glass of water at her, "Drink."

She took a sip in compliance and watched as he sat in the chair next to her. He looked displeased to be babysitting her, but more pleased that he was outside than inside.

"Cupcake might be the nicest thing you've called me."

Daryl chuckled, "Let's not get all touchy feely out here. Why were you drinking that much in there?"

Anna shrugged and looked down into the glass of water, "'Cause I'm an asshole."

"You said it, not me."

Anna sighed and looked at him, "Daryl Dixon. I'm not a princess. Yes, I came from an affluent family. But here I'm the same as everyone else, just surviving."

He nodded, "I s'ppose that's true."

"I'm actually a good person...when I am not being an asshole."

"You also get more redneck the more ya drink."

Anna smiled, "True Story."

"I might even can tolerate you when you're drunk"

"Aw, Daryl...I might even can tolerate you when I'm drunk, too! We can be best friends!"

Daryl smirked and grumbled, "Jesus girl. You're going to need more water." 


	5. Chapter 5

  
Anna awoke on the couch in her living room, a loud knock coming from the front door. She vaguely remembered Daryl walking her home and depositing her unceremoniously there. Once she had gotten her bearings, she got up to answer it and noticed that it was infact, dark outside.

  
She opened the door to see Rick leaning against the doorframe and immediately, she blushed while remembering her frank conversation about her being an "asshole."

  
"Hey."

  
That's all she could manage.

  
Rick smiled, "You feeling ok, Sweet Thing?"

  
Anna immediately warmed at the sound of the term of endearment and shrugged, "I guess so. Slept all that liquid courage off."

  
She let him in and noticed he was carrying a casserole dish, "What's that?"

  
"Carol made dinner. Carl is hanging with Michonne tonight. Carol took Judith. I thought maybe you and me could share it?"

  
Anna felt a smile pull at her lips, "So just you and me...all night?

  
"If that's what you'd like."

He walked the casserole into the kitchen and found the dish cupboard and pulled down two plates.

  
She couldn't think of anything she'd like more. She excused herself for a moment and ran upstairs. She washed her face, brushed her teeth and shimmied out of the dress and put on the Dollar General sweats and a white t-shirt.

  
When she got down stairs, Rick had set the table and poured them mugs of tea. She couldn't wait for it to be just them. No sneaking or playing it off in front of friends or kids.

  
Anna sat beside him and took his hand, "I'm sorry about earlier. I hadn't eaten anything and had two large drinks on an empty stomach. Deanna made me really uncomfortable earlier...and so did Jessie."

  
Rick leaned in closer, "I know. I've really done a bad job about Jessie. And I am sorry. I should never have..."

  
He trailed off and Anna mentally ticked off how he could end that statement. He should have never flirted with her? Beat her husband in the street? Shot him infront of the community? Interfered with her life and looked at what was right in front of him?

  
"I know how it must make you feel, because I wanted to punch Spencer for being too friendly with you."

  
Anna nodded, "Yeah. I didn't know if you saw that. I like Spencer. I did my best to let him know friendship was all I was interested in. Maybe I should have been more adamant. But I didn't know if you...it was always you, Rick."

  
He dished out two servings of Carol's casserole and raised an eyebrow, "Always?"

  
"I was scared of you at first. Noah told me to be completely honest, that you all were good...but had been out there too long. The first time I felt it was the night Aaron appeared. I was holding Judith and you heard Aaron and pulled me to you. That's when you had my attention."

  
They ate and talked about their lives before. Favorite foods, movies, hobbies. Anna shared that she didn't like being a housewife. She liked to feel useful and the position at the law office she worked did that. She thought being a mom would be the same way, but it never really came to fruition.

  
Rick put his hand on her knee, "Carl and Judith adore you. You've done so much for them in a short time. Any kid would be lucky to have you as their mother."

  
She looked down at her hands, not wanting for him to see the tears that statement brought to her eyes. Anna often thought of her own baby...if the outbreak had never happened...he or she would have been Judith's age, if not a bit older. She would've taken them to music classes and mommy and me art classes. She would have used cloth diapers and made her own baby food straight from her garden. She'd read to them every night before Philip came home and then they would all eat supper together.

  
Anna felt Rick's finger's beneath her chin, and he gently tipped her face upward to look at him.

  
"You said it the best, Anna. To hell and back. I'd gladly follow you, too."

  
With that, Anna leaned in and kissed him fiercely, everything else fell away. All the boundaries and self-made lines were crossed. They left the kitchen as a tangle of arms and legs and pure, unadulterated want. At that moment, all she wanted was to be skin to skin with him...to be beneath him.

  
They made it into the living room and infront of the stairs, Anna pulled away devilishly and smiled, "You want to take me to bed?"

  
"That's not even a question, Sweet Thing."

* * *

 

Rick watched as Anna slipped out of her sweat pants at the bottom of the stairs and turning away from him and walked up in the direction of her bedroom, her t-shirt was the next to go once they reached the spot in front of her bed.

He took her by the waist and kissed her deep. His fingers fumbled with the pins in her hair as he took it down. He couldn't wait to see her in all her glory, and all the suggestions given by her no frills bra and panties, told him he wouldn't be disappointed.

  
Anna kneeled on the bed and helped pull his shirt over his head, and before he knew it she was working at his belt buckle.

  
Jesus, he might explode before they even got into bed.

  
She leaned in to kiss him again but he held her back a bit, studying her kiss swollen lips, tousled yellow hair and flushed, ample cleavage...at that very moment she looked like a 50s pin up girl, the embodiment of sex.

  
He looked at her directly, while tracing the hollow of her collarbone with his finger, "You sure about this?"

  
Anna smiled, "Rick Grimes, if you don't get in bed with me and screw my brains out, I will never forgive you."

  
So he did as she asked.

  
Twice.

* * *

 

Later they laid in bed together, both exhausted and ebullient from the primal release that had just occurred. They laid forehead to forehead in the darkness, his hands resting just above her ass.

  
Rick kissed the tip of her nose, "You might just be the most beautiful thing I've seen in over a year. Like rain after a drought."

She smiled, "You're not so bad yourself, constable."

  
"What happened to being romanced?"

  
Anna shrugged and pulled him close to her by his hips and pressed herself against his chest and she heard him inhale sharply. Rick trailed kisses from her neck to the freckles on her shoulder and she murmured, "Well, you brought me dinner and then the note this morning..."

  
He looked up at her, confused, "Note? You got a note?"

  
At first, she thought he was teasing her, "The one stuck in my door?"

  
Rick sat up and turned serious, "Anna...I didn't leave you a note."

  
She never even considered it wasn't from Rick.

She sat up and looked at his expression. It was clearly worry.

  
Christ, they had just had the most amazing sex, and the pillow talk led to worry.

  
So much for the afterglow.

  
Rick stroked the hair away from her face, "Could I see it? What does it say?"

  
Anna got up and slipped on her bathrobe, "It doesn't really say anything. Let me go get it."

  
She hurried downstairs and looked for the sweater she was wearing earlier. She had slipped it in her pocket when she sat on the porch with her tea. She found the sweater draped over the couch and finished the folded paper out and hurried back up stairs. Anna crawled back in bed and turned on the bedside lamp, as she unfolded the heavy paper, the dark red heart appeared.

  
Rick took it from her and held the paper up to the light, "It's blood. Someone drew this in blood."

  
Anna covered her mouth in horror.

Something that had sweetly appeared at her door had become so threatening and dangerous.

  
"Why would anyone do that?"

  
She could feel herself panicking, the air in her lungs choked her to get out.

  
Rick ran his hands up and down her arms, breathing with her, getting her back to calm.

  
"We'll find out, I swear. I won't let anyone do this to you. Not in Alexandria."

* * *

  
Rick awoke to the early, pale beams of dawn breaking through the blinds with Anna's warm body snuggled against him. It had been so long since he had felt anything resembling this. He couldn't remember a time, since all of this began...that he felt so calm.

  
He stroked Anna's hair gently and thought about how horrified she had been about the "love note" she had found in her door. How all he wanted to do was protect her.  
Anna stirred and opened her eyes slowly. When she focused in on him, a broad smile crept across her lips, "Morning constable."

  
Jesus, there it was again. The beautiful pull of her self-aware sexuality. Anna knew she could rile him up. And it worked...like a blonde, curvy charm.

  
Rick smiled, "Morning Anna."

  
She kissed his neck and then his lips and lazily wrapped her leg around his own, pressing their hips together.

  
"You don't have to leave yet do you?"

  
Rick shook his head, "Soon, but not yet..."  
"So we have a little time..."

  
He wanted to talk to her about the note, who it could be, but when she talked to him like that, there was little on his mind but fulfilling her every whim.

  
Before he knew it, they were tangled in the sheets again...the noises she made drove him absolutely mad. More. That's all he could think of clearly. Wanting more of Anna...all of Anna.

  
They collapsed together in a spent, sweaty heap. There was a very good chance that he would be just fine by spending the rest of his days naked in bed with her, where the rest of the world and what was left of it, fell away.

  
Anna kissed him deeply, "I know you've probably got to go...the kids...but I want you to know...this has been the best few days of my new life."

  
He kissed her temple, "Same here, Sweet Thing. I'm going to get Carl and Judith. I've invited Deanna over for a meeting...about taking the town in a new direction. We should be done by dinner. Would you want to come eat with me and the kids?"

  
She nodded, "Yes."

  
Now that he had spent the night with her, he wasn't sure if he could spend one without her...and he had a feeling that she felt the same way.

  
He kissed her again and got out of bed to retrieve his clothes, noting that he should shower and change before heading to Carol and Michonne's houses. Those two could probably smell the sex on him, they were too wise.

  
Rick took one last look at Anna, sitting up in bed with just a sheet and messy blonde hair. She smiled and shrugged and gave him a little wave.

  
She didn't want him to leave, but let him off easy.

  
He'd make it up to her after dinner.

* * *

 

Anna watched as Rick put on his clothes and left. She hadn't had a night like that since she met Philip, but she had made her husband work a little harder for her affections. Back then, she was securing a future. A college degree, a husband with a good job, building a family.

  
But at this moment...she had decided to grab joy when she could, because none of them that had survived had been insured a future.

  
Anna showered and put on her dollar general jeans and sweat shirt and walked downstairs to the plates and dishes that had been left in a hurry on the table. As she washed the dishes, Rick dominated her thoughts. She felt her heart flutter remembering everything that had happened the night before and this morning.

  
And then her heart dropped remembering the blood painted heart.

  
There were two obvious suspects. Jessie and Spencer.

  
She would like to believe that no one would do something as heinous as this, but the evidence was on her bedside table.  
Anna felt the soap and warm water run through her fingers and attempted to quiet her mind.

Once the dishes were on the drying rack, she prepped the kettle and made a cup of tea. She put on one of Tom and Jeannie's Ella Fitzgerald records and sat down on the couch with a gardening book, her notebook and a pen.

  
She made a few notes, but mostly found herself reading about the plants and the soil, the seasons and frost. Anna couldn't wait to get the raised beds built and see what kind of seasonal veggies they could harvest.

  
There was a knock on her door. Anna stood up and peeked out the front window to see Spencer. She took a step back and a cleansing breath, and then finally opened the door.

  
"Hey Spencer."

  
He looked stern, but calm. It didn't stop her from being completely nervous on the inside.

  
"I was wondering, if we could talk...about some stuff."

  
Anna thought it over carefully, the image of the bloody heart flashed in the corner of her mind. What if he was dangerous? Should she invite him in? Should she talk with him in the middle of the street?

  
"Ok." She let him in hesitantly.

  
He walked him and made himself comfortable on her couch, glancing briefly at her notes and books.

  
Anna stayed standing, "What did you want to talk about?"

  
She recognized a flash of anger wash across his face, "Mom is meeting with Rick. I don't trust him. Dad would still be alive if it wasn't for him."

  
"Your Dad would still be alive if it wasn't for Pete Anderson, Spencer. Rick is someone who wants peace just as much as the rest of us. But he is realistic."

  
"He's going to get us all killed."

  
She tried to speak in soothing tones, "Rick knows what he is doing. He has been out there and has experienced everything you can think of. What's left of the human race are not all civil, united groups. Some have turned into monsters more than those dead outside the gates. I was kept by policemen at the hospital. People who were supposed to protect and serve. They abused us, made us work off our debts...and some had it even worse. I can't describe to you what Rick and his group has seen. But my experience is a whole lot cheerier in comparison. Rick Grimes is going to teach everyone how to fight. We have a better chance if we listen to him."

  
Spencer shook his head, "I can't believe this. I really thought you would be on my side."

  
"That's the thing. There aren't sides, here. There is us...Alexandria as a whole, and then whatever and whoever lurks outside the walls. Rick is right. If anyone finds out we are here, they will do anything to get in. Anything."

  
Spencer lept up off of the couch and towered over her, he said nothing. Just flashed her a hurt glare and threw open the front door and stalked out.

  
Anna didn't watch him leave. She just shut the door behind him and sighed.

* * *

 

Rick had retrieved Judith from Carol and Carl from Michonne. He held happy Judith on his hip while Carl walked beside him, wearing the Sherriff's hat.

  
"So Deanna is going to let you run Alexandria?"

  
Rick shrugged, "I don't know about running, but she is open to my ideas. About preparing these people. After that, Anna is coming over to visit."

  
Carl looked up at his dad, "Just Anna?"

  
Rick nodded and Carl smiled, "You like her...don't you?"

  
He met eyes with his son and shrugged, "Would it be a big deal if I did?"

  
"She is really good with Judith. I like reading with her. She is nice and tries to help, I think. So no, it's not a big deal."

  
Rick appreciated Carl's candor and smiled, "Ok then...do me a favor and don't tell anyone about this. Keep it close to the chest, got it?"

  
Carl nodded in agreement and when they arrived to their house, Deanna was already waiting for them on the front porch. She looked tired and overwhelmed with emotion she was clearly trying to hide.

  
"I know I'm early. Just thought it would do me good to get out of the house."

  
Rick handed Judith to Carl and and helped Deanna stand, "It probably does. Would you like some coffee?"

  
"That would be great."

  
Rick sent Carl upstairs with Judith and made coffee in the kitchen while Deanna sat at the table.

  
"Tell me what needs to be done, Rick. I've lost my vision of how this place...this god forsaken place should be."

  
Rick filled two mugs with coffee and sat one before her, as he sat with his own across from her.

  
"This place can still be good, Deanna. We just have to be realistic about what is outside. And who is outside. We have to be ready to protect this place at all costs. We need to reinforce the gates, put more people on watch and teach everyone...even the kids...to fight. We need to pull together."

  
Deanna Monroe looked lost. Her eyes glasses over with tears and she nodded, "I thought that if you never came, I would still have Reg and Aiden. But it is all my fault. If I had listened to you, heeded your words, my husband and son could still be alive. Forgive me, Rick."

  
Rick shook his head, "Deanna...we can work together on this. You can govern and I can teach the people to fight. We can both figure out our best defenses."

  
Deanna stood up, "I'll let everyone know. We start Tomorrow."

  
And with that, the former congresswoman said goodbye and showed herself out.  
Rick sat at the kitchen table, head in hands, and remembered the peacefulness of the night before. Anna's soft, warm skin...the way her hair smelled...the taste of her kisses. If only that could be how he felt the whole time...instead of distrust in humanity and rage.

  
He drank another cup of coffee and before he knew it, dusk had fallen. Carl had come back down with Judith and he prepared a humble meal of Spaghetti and tomato sauce for them. A knock came upon the door, and Anna stood on his porch in a sweatshirt, jeans and a long, pretty ponytail. He could only think about how she looked under her clothes.

  
"Hi." She greeted him in a way that sounded relieved. Like every moment he had been gone was long and uncomfortable, which mirrored the way he felt when he saw her.

  
"Hey. You're just in time. dinner is ready."

  
Rick opened the door and let her in and watched as she saw Carl and Judith sitting on the living room floor. Anna's face lit up as Judith reached up her arms to her, indicating she wanted for Anna to pick her up.

  
Anna obliged and snuggled Judith to her.

Carl stood up and smiled, "Are we going to read after dinner?"

  
She shrugged happily, "If you'd like to. Did you pick out a book?"

  
Carl nodded and picked up the copy of "A Wrinkle in Time."

  
"That was one of my favorites in middle school."

  
Rick watched as the three of them walked into the kitchen, and realized how comfortable this new life could be. Judith pressed her hands into Anna's cheeks and they both laughed.

* * *

 

Anna felt happy. She was happy to be with the Grimes family. She was happy to eat spaghetti with them and then settle on the couch to read a few chapters of "A Wrinkle in Time" aloud with Carl. Rick sat at one end of the couch with Judith and she and Carl sat together passing the book back and forth.

  
After three chapters, Carl excused himself to his room, and once he was upstairs, Rick slid down to where she was on the couch with Judith in tow. He leaned in and kissed Anna slowly, and when they parted he chuckled.

  
"I couldn't physically wait any longer to do that."

  
Anna just smiled and reveled in the proximity of both Rick and Judith. She was playing house again, but was unafraid to admit it. She felt happy, and that was good enough for her.

  
Suddenly, a knock came upon the door and Rick handed Judith to her. She heard the door open and a familiar voice sounding panicked, "Rick...I need to talk to you. I just don't feel safe...I need you..."

  
It was Jessie. Jesus, what a nightmare.

Anna wanted to disappear and prayed that the new widow didn't see her.

  
Rick tried to calm Jessie down, "You'll be ok. Did Deanna come to see you? About tomorrow?"

  
"Yes."

  
"I'll talk to Michonne and Carol, one of them would be happy to stay with you."

  
"But you-"

  
Anna heard Rick sigh and she turned around to look at him. He shook his head and held the door open just a crack, "Jessie, I have my own family to tend to."

  
Jessie, did not take no and pushed her way past him to make it inside. Only one step in and she made direct eye contact with Anna. Jessie looked shocked, and then angry.

  
Anna rose and held Judith on her hip. Jessie let out an accusing, "You?"

  
Rick looked at Anna and she just nodded her head, "Me. Go home to your boys, Jessie. Listen to Rick."

  
With that, Anna walked past Rick and Jessie and said, "I'm going to get Judy ready for bed."

  
Rick nodded and Jessie glared as Anna took Judith upstairs and changed her diaper and put her in a fresh onesie and sang her to sleep in the rocking chair. She heard the door slam and the sounds of heavy footsteps ascending the stairs.

  
Rick came in just as Anna lowered Judith into her crib. She didn't look at him right away. She waited for him to speak. Instead he stood with her and took her hand and gently pulled her out of the nursery and across the hall to his bedroom.

  
"I'm sorry, Anna." He said and cupped her cheek.

  
"Do you think...she left the Valentine?"

  
Rick sighed, "Don't know. I was leaning towards Spencer."

  
Anna sat down on his bed and played with the hem on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, "Spencer came to see me today. I think I made him angry."

  
Rick put his hands on his hips, "How? Did he do anything to you?"

  
She shook her head and looked up at him, "He told me that I shouldn't trust you. But I told him all the reasons I had beyond a shadow of doubt that I did trust you. And backed you one hundred percent."

  
Rick kneeled in front of her as she looked down and tipped her head up to look at him, "Did he scare you? Touch you?"

  
"No. He just stomped away."

  
"I think Jessie knows about us now."

  
Anna shrugged, she didn't really care anymore..."All she has are accusations. And for all anyone knows, I was just helping with the kids."

  
Rick rose and pushed her back on the bed, and kissed her deeply. Anna broke away with eyes, "Rick. What about Carl? What if he finds me here?"

  
"He might know about us, too. And besides, I don't want you alone in a house at night until we find out who left that note. And if that means it pubically outs us...then so be it. After last night, I don't want to spend one without you."

  
Anna felt her cheeks burn with blush. But all of what he said, just reinforced how she felt about him and all of the things she had said to Spencer.

  
She didn't want to spend a night without him, either.

  
Anna and Rick got ready for bed, he placed his gun on the nightstand and she wore one of his shirts to bed. She curled up in his arms and he kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose and finally her lips.

  
"You look like an angel, Sweet Thing, when you sleep."

  
He made her blush constantly. Always new ways of making her cheeks burn. It felt like they were moving so fast. But the new world did not beg for the same time frames as the old ones.

  
Hold fast to the good, and fight like hell for your life.

  
And that is what she intended to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Rick couldn't sleep. He laid awake with Anna in his arms...her exquisite ass backed comfortably into his pelvis.

Jessie was a mistake...misplaced feelings. He had been rash with her and made decisions to insert himself into her life and took away someone he couldn't give back...or replace.

  
He wished he could go back, to before they met Aaron. To when Anna first took notice of him...he remembered the Christmas carols in the dark...but had he really seen her? He wished he would have...he wished he would have just focused on Anna all along.

  
Rick's thoughts jumped from Jessie to Spencer and back again. Were either of them capable of drawing that heart in blood?

  
He buried his face in Anna's neck and thought about what it would be like, to have Anna live with him...to be apart of their family. If every night could be like this one had been. Rick enjoyed what she brought to the table...warmth and wit and a good deal of strength. All things he wanted Judith to possess someday.

  
Suddenly Anna turned around in his arms, her sleepy eyes opened just a bit.  
"You ok, baby? Can't you sleep?"

  
Christ, he wanted her to call him "baby" again so badly. Her hands stroked the sides of his face with tender concern and he was putty in her hands.

  
"Just thinking, is all. Enjoying this, though."

  
Anna nodded and softly whispered, "Me too. I thought this part of me was long gone. I'm glad it's not. And that you found me. I feel more alive than I have in a year. Wanna talk? I can make us some tea..."

  
Rick shook his head, "Oh no, let's stay like this..."

  
He saw Anna smile and she snuggled closer, "Tell me what you're thinking about."

  
"Well...Jessie. Spencer. That damn note. Teaching these people to survive. How much I like the sound of your voice when you call me 'baby.'"

  
The last part made her blush...he liked making her blush...amongst other things.  
Anna composed herself and looked up at him, "I think the truth will come out. Soon. I just hope it doesn't get violent. Jessie looked like she wanted to claw my eyes out. And...I know how you feel about Spencer."

  
"Nobody's gonna hurt you, Anna."

  
She agreed, "Oh I am not worried about me. I am worried about them. I am intending to fight like hell. For us."

  
Rick heard the confidence in her voice and he felt the familiar pull of desire.

  
"I really love hearing you talk tough like that."

  
Anna smiled a wicked smile, "Oh really?"

  
"Yeah, really."

  
Just as Rick was going to kiss her deeply, he heard Judith's scared cry from across the hall and put a finger to her lips, "Hold that thought. Stay right there."

  
He got out of bed and hurried to his daughter's room. Poor baby was wet and scared and after Rick had changed her, she still fussed. So he took her across the hall and he saw Anna's concern on her face.  
"is she ok?"

  
Rick nodded, "Just fussy."

  
Anna pulled back the comforter for him and Judith and once he was in, they all laid down together. Judith's head rested on Rick's shoulder, but she looked at Anna with teary blue eyes.

  
"Poor sweet girl." Anna whispered and kissed Judith's forehead.

  
Rick felt his heart sink, knowing that Anna never got to be the mother she wanted to be. He knew Judith and Carl had somehow healed that void of not having a child of her own. Of losing a child to all of this.  
Soon they were all lulled to sleep in one bed, Rick's arm around Anna and Judith protectively.

* * *

 

Anna woke up with Judith's little body curled next to hers, she had dreamed all night of being pregnant and raising Judith and Carl alongside Rick.

  
It felt so real, but she knew it was crazy. She had let the playing house go to her head.

  
She got up, found her clothes and used the restroom. After she was dressed, she checked in on Carl, who was still asleep and went back to Rick's bedroom to leave him a note, that she was heading home to shower and change, but would be back afterward.

  
As she walked to her house, she noticed the door was ajar. Anna reached in quickly and found the baseball bat she kept near the door, just like in her college days. She held the bat, ready to swing as she searched the house.

She started upstairs and found nothing, also the living room was just as she left it. It wasn't until she walked into the kitchen and the bat fell loudly at her feet. Above the sink, near the window was her sharp carving knife sticking out of the drywall. Hanging from the blade was Jeannie's pearls.

  
She emitted a choked sob once she looked in the sink. Ripped and torn and doused with water...all of Tom and Jeannie's letters and pictures...ruined.

  
Anna fell to the lineoleum and wept. This was cruel not only to her, but to Jeannie and Tom's memory.

  
Anna composed herself enough to run back next door and wake Rick. He deposited Judith with her brother and followed her to her home. He didn't allow her to enter first and kept his hand ready on the hilt of his gun.

  
When he saw the display in the kitchen, Anna saw him grow visibly angry.

  
"You're not staying here, Anna. Pack up your stuff."

  
She took down the pearls and put them on. She rummaged through the memories in the sink and found one unscathed photo of Tom and Jeannie. It was wet, but whole.  
Anna packed up her clothes and some books and grabbed the baseball bat as she walked out the door. She felt completely heartbroken.

  
Rick helped her carry her things to his house and she deposited them in the living room. Carl looked up from feeding Judith and looked concerned.

  
"What happened?"

  
Rick took Anna by the hand, "Anna's going to live here from now on. Someone broke in, has been threatening her."

  
She excused herself upstairs to take a shower and change. She put her toothbrush in the bathroom and once under the too hot water, she cried. Anna cried until she couldn't anymore and turned off the shower and dressed.

  
Once she was back downstairs, Rick and Carl and Judith were all sitting at the kitchen table. There was a a seat, a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal waiting for her.

  
Anna smiled wanly, but felt too sick to eat.  
Rick put a hand on her knee, "Who else knew about Tom and Jeannie's things?"

  
"Just you. And Spencer. It had to have been Spencer."

  
She could see the heat of anger rising inside of him. She knew just how dangerous Rick could be. Today they would see the whole community. Today was not the day for more bloodshed amongst their own.

  
"Rick, leave it for today. Let's focus on the task at hand. There's too much anger when we are trying to do so much good."

  
He looked at Anna and nodded, he squeezed her knee. She felt Carl watching them intently, and Anna realized the jig with Carl was more than likely up.

* * *

 

Later that day, the whole of Alexandria with the exception of Carl and Judith, met in the grassy lot near the Monroe home. The first lesson was about shooting...every single gun the armory had. Rick, Abraham, Rosita and Michonne corrected stances and helped folks with shaking hands handle deadly weapons.

  
Rick kept an eye on both Jessie and Spencer, who neither were grouped with Anna. Anna gave no indications she was bothered by anything, and looked tough while shooting a .45.

  
After four hours of exercises, Rick called them all together and talked about the goals of defending their community as best as they could. Reinforcing Reg's walls and putting more folks on shifts in in the tower and at the gates. He also wanted to set up pikes and razor wire if they could find and manage it. Also, Daryl, Michonne and Morgan would start training with more practical weapons like swords and sticks and axes.

  
Suddenly, a gunshot rang out from the gate. Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Rosita, Carol, Maggie and Glenn made for the gate without talk or hesitation. But Rick heard Deanna begged everyone to go home and lock their doors.

  
When they reached the gate, Tobin was facing off with a group of ten ragged men outside the fence. They wanted in. Rick drew his gun from his holster without hesitation and heard his people behind him readying their weapons as well.

  
"You run this place?" The man demanded.

  
Rick nodded, training his gun on him, "Who are you? What do you want?"

  
"I'm Derek. And my group and I just came from D.C. We're ready to take this place by force. But it would be easier if you just let us in."

  
Rick shook his head, "Hell no."

  
Derek walked closer, "You don't seem to understand. We're desperate and dangerous men."

  
Rick looked down for a moment, his gun still pointing at Derek to see a red dot focused in on his chest.

They had a sniper.

  
Rick stood firm, he heard guns cock and magazines being put in behind him. His people were ready. Thoughts of how to attack, to fend them off ran through his head...but luckily, a the sound of a whizzing bullet flew past the gate and the red dot disappeared from his chest.

  
Sasha.

  
Sasha was in the tower and had taken out the sniper.

  
Before Rick could pull the trigger on Derek, a shot came from behind them, hitting Derek in the temple. Then the whole group of survivors fired upon the group of scavengers. When the last body hit the ground, Rick turned around to see Anna with the .45 from earlier.

  
Anna had just killed a man. A desperate and dangerous man.

  
Rick holstered his gun and ran to her, "What the hell are you doing here, Anna?"

  
She looked up at him with a bit of swagger,"Looks like I saved your life for once, darlin.'"

Christ, that woman was going to drive him wild.

  
The others involved with the firefight turned around and walked to them. Daryl looked impressed.

  
"Nice shot, Cupcake. Maybe you are useful after all."

  
Rick asked Glenn, Carol and Daryl to open the gates and burn the bodies. He asked Michonne to go and thank Sasha in the tower.

  
He took Anna by the elbow and walked her down the street, "You could've been killed."

  
"You could've too."

  
Rick shook his head and stopped when they were out of earshot, "It was too dangerous."

  
Anna sighed, "Rick...you're the major proponent of everyone being ready to fight. I just did what I felt I had to. I'm not going to let anyone take you away from me."

  
He wanted to kiss her in the middle of the street. Her fire burned as bright for him as his did for her.

  
Rick touched her face and leaned into her, "You drive me crazy, girl."

  
"Likewise."

  
Before they could kiss, Rick saw a figure approaching quickly. Deanna Monroe looked wan and bleak.

  
"I heard about the scavengers, Rick. There is nothing more I can give this place. I'm done. You're the leader they need."

  
She shot Anna a disappointed look and then turned on her heel and made her way back home. Rick and Anna exchanged looks, but said nothing. He took her by her free hand and they walked home to Carl and Judith, with guns on their hips.

* * *

  
Once they got back home, Anna found herself playing house again. Rick and Carl were sitting at the table and talking about what happened at the gates while Anna held Judith on her hip and made black beans and rice for dinner.

She was tired of eating stuff from the pantry and made a mental note to herself that she would cook dinners for Daryl if he would hunt for meat. Deer, wild boar, rabbit or squirrel would do.

She couldn't wait to harvest veggies from the ground and found herself daydreaming of beans, cucumbers, spinach and big, fat and juicy tomatoes. She could eat one like an apple.

  
Dinner was ready, Anna served the meal and they all sat down together. Anna fed Judith spoonfuls of rice and applesauce in between bites of her own meal. She was sure of one thing...Judith held the keys to her heart. She would do anything for her.

Carl took a few bites and looked at Anna, and then his father and spoke up, "So...is Anna our new mom?"

  
Anna choked on her spoonful of dinner and quickly took a drink of hot tea while looking at Rick, who seemed amused.

  
Once Anna could speak she took Carl's hand, "Carl...I don't expect that. I know your mom is important to you. I could never replace her. Anna is what I'd like to be called. Michonne and Carol have done more than I could imagine with you guys. They're as much as a part of this as I am."

  
Anna saw Rick holding back a smirk at the situation but the meal continued normally without anymore talk of familial issues. After cleaning up the dishes, Rick and the kids and Anna sat on the couch again, just like the night before, and read chapters from "A Winkle in Time." After four and a half chapters, Carl was yawning while reading aloud.

  
Rick walked upstairs with Carl and carried Judith for a bath and bed. Anna sat on the couch and thought about what she did today. She killed a human being. But it was because he was threatening the person she cared about. She didn't think twice. And though she was ultimately upset she was now a "killer," she knew she did it out of love.

  
Love.

  
She was a total goner over Rick Grimes and his kids.

  
Head over heels didn't begin to explain it.  
Anna stood up and went to the CD player and looked through the cd's that got them from Atlanta. Thumbing through she found plenty that she liked, but a few she wasn't familiar with, so she put on the Ryan Adams disc called "Heartbreaker."

  
Halfway in, and it might have been the most beautiful thing she's heard in the apocalypse.

  
She sat on the couch, her head propped up on her hands, listening to the voice coming from the speakers. Both sweet and sad. Anna heard Rick's footsteps come down the stairs, and he stood infront of her and extended his hand.

  
Anna took his hand and he pulled her to her feet and put a hand on her waist and pulled her in, not for a kiss, but for a dance. She couldn't help but giggle. He slow danced like one of the cowboys she used to meet in the country bars during college.

  
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his hands sat at her waist. The song was sad, actually more about a breakup...but perfect for a living room slow dance.

  
He pressed his forehead to hers, "What are you grinning about?"

  
"You. This. All of this."

  
"I meant to tell you...thank you for today."

  
Anna shook her head, "To hell and back, Rick Grimes."

  
Rick kissed her ear and whispered, "Ditto."

  
As the song ended, Rick hit stop on the CD player and smiled, "My first instinct is to throw you over my shoulder and take you upstairs. But I don't want to be a caveman...however, if I don't get you out of those clothes and into my bed...I am going to pop."

  
"Well, we can't have that...can we?"

* * *

 

Upstairs, Rick locked the bedroom door for the time being, and watched as Anna stripped down to just her underwear.

  
Christ almighty, she was stunning. All that blonde hair and soft skin and sexy, feminine curves. She strode up to him and helped him catch up with undressing. First his shirt, then his jeans.

  
His hands couldn't move fast enough, they were aching to explore her peaks and valleys and the velvety softness that she possessed.

  
She gave him a knowing smile and wrapped herself around him, kissing him teasingly.

  
Rick didn't think that this could be possible, that he could feel like a teenage boy falling in love. Especially after so much heartbreak.

  
Love. There it was.

  
He was so wrapped up in her.

  
Later, they laid together, exhausted after a long round of sex. Rick laid on his back and Anna curled beside him, her hand propping up her head as he played with the log strands of her hair.

  
"Rick?" She whispered.

  
"Yeah?"

  
"I'm crazy about you."

  
"Likewise, Sweet Thing."

  
"And Carl and Judy."

  
He nodded and bushed his fingers gently across her cheek, "I think Carl's question freaked you out a bit."

  
Anna blushed, "I couldn't believe Carl said that. It's all happening fast...but time is different now. Truth is, I'd never want to take that from Lori. She was their mother. And loved them. I'm just Anna, but I still love them."

  
Rick sat up and looked her straight in the eye, "You're not JUST Anna. You are so much more. "

  
Anna turned even more pink. And he loved it.

  
There was that word again.

  
When Rick woke up in the morning, Anna was gone. He put on his jeans and walked downstairs to find Anna in the kitchen making breakfast with Judy on her hip and Carl reading a book aloud at the kitchen table.

  
He squeezed Carl's shoulder and then walked up behind Anna and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the nape of her neck and Judith's head. Rick was happy to be free with affection and not hide from Carl.

  
He watched Anna smile warmly and noticed that she wore Jeannie's pearls. He knew just how upset she was about what happened to the memory box. She had dried one wet photo in the kitchen and propped it on the table next to the bed.  
Rick's thoughts turned to Spencer, and how he would confront him about terrorizing Anna.

After seeing them in the street after the shoot out with the scavengers, there was little doubt that Deanna would go home and tell her son.

  
They ate breakfast of applesauce and packaged grits with cups of black coffee. He watched as Anna put Judith down on the floor and let her crawl slowly to him and pulled herself up with the aid of his jeans.

  
Rick picked her up and laughed, "She's mobile. There goes the neighborhood."

  
Anna smiled brightly, her hair in a long, messy braid over her shoulder, "I'll mention to Glenn when he goes back out about the shoes. Daryl, too."

  
As they finished eating, a knock came upon the front door. Rick excused himself and made his way to the front of the house. Abraham stood on the porch and Rick opened the door to let him in. Anna appeared while holding Judith and followed closely by Carl.

  
A slight smile pulled at Abraham's lips beneath the formidable mustache on his face. For a moment, Rick thought Abraham was going to high five him.

  
"What's up, Abraham?"

  
"Well it seems we have attracted some roamers outside the gate. Probably from the firefight yesterday. I want to get a team together and clear them out."

  
"How many roamers?"

  
"Looks to be about fifty or sixty. I'd like to clear them out before we attract even more."

  
Rick nodded in agreement, "Take Michonne, Daryl, Rosita and Glenn. Use as little ammunition as possible. Keep the sounds down. And keep me posted"

  
Abraham nodded and said, "Will do."

* * *

 

  
Anna decided that the day was perfect to be in the garden. Rick told her to take her gun and then Carl stated that maybe he would go get Enid and they could help. They took Judith next door and sat her on a blanket and she and Rick played and waited for Carl to return with Enid.

  
Anna put on some gloves and commenced in pruning and pulling weeds. A few plants were salvageable and once the first bed was done, she asked Rick to go into the shed and find the watering can and fill it up for her. She continued to dig, pull and prune until she heard footsteps approach from the back gate of her old house.

  
"I was wondering where you all were."

  
When she looked up, she dropped the pruning shears and stood in horror.  
Carl and Enid were standing before her, with Spencer Monroe behind them armed with a gun.

  
Anna reached for her hip holster and Spencer shook his head while raising his gun higher behind Carl.

  
"Spencer...what are you doing?"

  
"I should be asking you the same thing, Anna. But here you are playing house with Rick. When I told you I could be good to you."

  
Anna felt panic arise in her throat and she shook her head, "Spencer, I was your friend. I'm still your friend."

  
He sneered, "Bullshit. You've lead me on. All that stuff with those pictures...dinner and wine..."

  
Anna berated herself. She should never have let him in. She should have never tried to be his friend if he wanted something more. She should've known better.

  
Anna kept an eye on Judith and moved slowly infront of the baby. She wished Rick would come out and see what was happening.

  
"This is between you and me, Spencer. Let the kids go. They aren't a part of this."

  
"No, but Rick is. He comes in here and takes over. My dad and brother die the same week? Now mom has relinquished control to him? And he has you? I think he should be taken down a notch."

  
Before Anna could respond she heard a click come from behind her and Rick's voice, "Let them go."

  
She exhaled, a bit relieved knowing that the odds just got a bit more even.

  
Rick stalked closer, and ended up standing in front of her in one of the garden beds.

  
"Did you think all that scary threatening was going to drive Anna close to you? because that didn't work."

  
Spencer shrugged, "I had my reasons."  
With that, Spencer knocked Carl forward and out of the way, training his sights on Rick.

  
Anna felt scared. She felt betrayed and she most definitely felt stupid. She should have turned Spencer away at every opportunity.

  
"And do you really think some snobby, uptight rich bitch would've ever looked at me or you, Barney Fife, if it weren't for any of this? Do you think she would've been nice to us? Do you think you would've been able to stand her uppity, superficial ways? No. Not one bit. She would've made fun of us with her tennis buddies."

  
Anna felt stung. Sadly, what he said was not false. She wasn't the best person in her former life. She was a flirt and a gossip with a silver spoon in her mouth. She did charity work, but maybe it wasn't completely unselfish. Maybe she did it to make herself look better.

  
But that was then, this is now. She had about the same footing as anyone else who survived.

  
Rick shrugged, "None of that matters."

  
It felt like an eternity that they stood against each other. Anna felt problematic and useless and Carl was too close to interfere.

  
But she saw Enid stealthily reach into her jeans pocket and pull out a small, thin, ice pick-like shiv and carefully made her move. She stabbed Spencer in the forearm and he yelped in surprise pain and he dropped his gun, allowing Carl to kick it away as his father ran to where Spencer had fallen to his knees and hit him with a sick sounding punch. Rick continued to beat him, just as he did Pete that day in the street.

  
As Carl picked up Judith, Anna attempted to pull Rick off the unconscious Spencer, to stop him from beating Deanna Monroe's last family member to death.

  
"Rick! Stop! You're going to kill him!"

  
Rick continued to kick and pound him, like he didn't hear her.

  
Finally, she pushed him away with all the force in her arms. She pushed him twice more until he looked at her in disbelief.

  
"Rick. Think of Deanna. Take him home.Tell her what happened. He's done."

  
"He threatened my children!"

  
Anna nodded, "I know. But Deanna won't let her own son...her last family member...go unpunished. Think whatever you want about her. But she believes in justice."

  
Rick wiped his face with the back of his hand, "You want me to let him go? Act like none of this ever happened?"

  
She shook her head, "No. Thats not what I want. I want you to take him home and let Deanna punish him. I want us to go a day with out killing a human being. He might have gotten things wrong. I might have given him hope. He's been through a lot in a very little amount of time."

  
Rick glared at her, he didn't agree.  
But he went into the shed and came back with some duct tape and wrapped Spencer's wrists and ankles together and asked Carl to bring him the wheelbarrow and together they dumped him inside and

Rick barked at them, "All of you. Inside. Lock the door."

Rick really wanted to finish Spencer.  
He wanted to end him like the guys on the road to Terminus or the cannibals in the church.

  
Anna had stopped him. And he wasn't happy about it. Her mercy unnerved him.  
He thought it was a mistake to let him go home.

  
He dumped Spencer on the lawn and went to knock on the door. Anna was right. Deanna was horrified by his antics...the note, the pictures...pulling a gun on the Grimes family.

  
"I'll see to it he doesn't bother Anna or your children. That is not the son I raised. He has been drinking a lot...since his brother and father..."

  
Rick motioned to the wheelbarrow, "Bring out all the liquor and put it in here. And any gun or knife he may have access to."

  
Deanna looked frightened by him, like she knew where his rage could lead and went in and brought out a laundry basket full of booze and two guns and knives varying from pocket to steak varieties.

  
Rick left one of the handguns with her...for her to hide and her use only.

  
He emptied the rest in the wheelbarrow and made his way back home without as much of a goodbye.

  
Rick left the wheelbarrow on the porch and knocked angrily at the door and Carl let him in.

  
"Carl, you and Enid take Judith up stairs."  
His son reacted without hesitation and Rick locked the door behind him and made his way to the kitchen, where Anna had sunk into a chair and had her head in her hands. Rick couldn't do anything but yell.

  
"You killed a man yesterday for less, Anna! Spencer is trouble. Why is he getting away but the man yesterday got a bullet in the head, courtesy of you?"

  
Anna looked up at him, her whole face red and swollen from crying, "I didn't know him. I know Spencer."

  
"Do you still care about him? After all that he has done?"

  
Anna stood up defiantly, "Not killing him was less about him and more about Deanna...and our humanity."

  
Rick walked away from her, "If he comes near my kids again...I will kill him. No questions...no pleading."

  
"I understand."

  
He spun on his heel, "Do you? Do you understand that this isn't a game?"

  
"What do you think I am, Rick?"

  
"I thought you got it. That it's kill or be killed. If someone threatens us, they go. But maybe you are too much like Deanna. You wanna play safe...play house with my children's lives..."

  
Anna turned icy, "You know, maybe I was a rich bitch. Maybe I did look down on people. Maybe I was spoiled. But I know who I am now. I believe that even though we have to do things that are reprehensible out of necessity...we shouldn't like it. I love the most human parts of you, Rick. And I believe that is who you are. Not this. I would put my life at risk for your children. And I'd die for you, too, if necessary. "

  
With that, she walked out the back door.

  
Rick stood in the kitchen, stunned. He brought in the guns and alcohol and once they we're put away, he waited for Anna to return.

Five hours later, she still hadn't.

  
He checked in on Judith and Carl and Enid and they were all sitting on the floor of Carl's room, starting "A Wrinkle in Time" over from the beginning. Rick thanked Enid for her quick thinking with Spencer, and she nodded...she didn't seem to talk to anyone but Carl...ever.

  
Rick asked them to lock the door behind him, that he was going to look for Anna. Before he left, he stuck a thin bottle of bourbon in his back pocket...just in case. luckily, when he stepped off the front porch...he knew exactly where to look when he heard the sad sounds of Patsy Cline coming from next door.

* * *

 

Anna sat on the floor of Tom and Jeannie's living room with the torn pieces of letters and pictures spread in front of her. She was trying to put them back together even with the running ink and water stains.

  
She was furious after her argument with Rick. She had already felt bad about Spencer. Felt bad for being a snob. For being a princess.

  
Maybe Daryl wasn't so far off the mark, after all.

  
While she tried to manage the impossible puzzle in front of her, Anna heard a knock at the front door. She turned up the Patsy Cline louder.

  
The knocks didn't cease, and finally, she threw open the door. Rick stood there, handsome as ever, seeming relatively calm.

  
"Anna. I'm sorry. Let me in."

  
She opened the door to him begrudgingly, leaving him to shut the door himself and she went back to her work on the floor.  
Rick sat on the couch behind her and tried to touch her, but she moved away.

  
"Spencer was right about me. I wasn't the nicest person in my former life."

  
"I don't care about that."

  
"It's probably why I was never able to have kids."

  
"Anna...don't be ridiculous."

  
She turned around to meet his gaze, "And I have been playing house with you. I've been wanting to believe everything was sunshine and rainbows. I thought about my baby and husband and what would've happened if the world hadn't gone to hell. "

  
Rick touched her face, but she pulled away, "I'm sorry. About the kids. About Spencer."

  
"Anna, you said you loved the most human parts of me. I want to believe those parts exist. But I am not sure."

  
She shrugged, "I think they do."

  
Rick pulled out a small, thin bottle of Kentucky Bourbon and handed it to her, "Let's have a drink and go back home."

  
She took the bottle from him and took a good pull before nodding in agreement.

 

* * *

  
Anna spent the rest of the night in a bourbon induced haze. She was still upset with Rick. She was upset with herself. She doubted stopping Rick from killing Spencer.

She went to bed as soon as she and Rick walked home. Anna put on a t-shirt and sweats and pulled the covers up to her chin and looked at the photo of Tom and Jeannie on the bedside.

  
About an hour later, Rick came in through the door. He slid into bed beside her and made attempts to comfort her.

  
"Anna...Sweet Thing..."

  
"Yeah."

  
"Come here."

  
She turned to him and his open arms.

Anna rested her head against his chest and listened to his steady and strong heartbeat. He held her tight as she began to cry.

  
"I can't stop thinking about my baby. That little bunch of cells that never fully formed. All the blood that I bled. I can't stop thinking about Judith and Carl and today. I can't stop thinking about how I fooled myself that this place could be my redemption. I drank the Kool-Aid. I miss my mom and dad and Phillip. I miss having brunches on Sunday's with them. Tom and Jeannie. All of this, everything, all at once."

  
Rick pressed his lips to her temple, "We'll get past today. I'm sorry for what I said...about playing house. You've been so good to Carl and Judith. I can't fault you for wanting to take care of them."

  
Anna said nothing, instead she closed her eyes and relished the feel of Rick's body next to hers...the sound of his heart. How it felt to be cared for and soothed. It was practically luxurious.

  
Rick tipped her face up to look at him, "Anna...you are tough. And you somehow still see the best in me. This world...it's made me an animal. I've killed and beaten and taken. But somehow, you believe in me. The best of me. I have thought that part was dead, long dead. But then I met you, and I felt...like maybe this whole world isn't completely evil and rotten and horrific. I want you here, with me and the kids. I know you would do everything in your power to keep them safe. Today wasn't your fault."

  
Anna wiped the hot tears away with the back of her hand. "As soon as Spencer told me he could be good to me, I should have told him I wasn't interested. Which is true, because I kept hoping...that you..."

  
"I'm all yours, Anna. I guess part of me couldn't believe that a woman like you...I was a small town Sherriff's Deputy. Closer to Barney Fife than I'd like to admit. We came from different worlds, that's for sure. So I just never thought about it...but I wish I would have."

  
"When Daryl calls me 'Princess'...it hits a little close to home. I was a bit ridiculous in the old world. Highlights, manicures and pedicures every other week. I had a private yoga instructor. I hated tennis but played with Phiillip and his buddies and their wives. I was in the D.A.R., Junior League, book clubs and even took flower arranging classes. I started drinking Chardonnay at noon when I was home alone and depressed because I had no kids and no purpose. I was a Princess. Maybe there are parts of me that still are. But blame that on breeding and indoctrination. Poor little rich girl, right?"

  
Rick smiled sadly, "None of that matters now. Though, I wish I could've seen how you looked then."

  
"Hell on heels. I was good at flirting and got what I wanted...a lot. Well groomed, Prada bags and red lips. It never occurred to me I couldn't carry a child. I thought it would be easy. It wasn't. It only took the apocalypse to humble me and give me perspective."

  
"The only you that matters now is the one I met and have known. Nothing before matters. It was a different world. We were both married to other people. We both lost them. We lost almost everything. But in this mess...we found each other. We both know life, especially now, is way too short."

  
Anna nodded in agreement, she hadn't started beating herself up until the encounter with Spencer. At the moment, she felt fragile and not like the tough woman she knew she should be.

  
She stopped crying, but continued to sink into Rick's embrace, "Got anymore of that bourbon? Maybe bring the CD player and CD's upstairs? I could use a drink and some music."

  
"Of course," He whispered tenderly. And with a kiss, he made his way downstairs to get what she asked. When he appeared with a fifth of Maker's Mark she looked surprised.

  
"Wow. Wax isn't even broken. Hope Reg won't mind if we put it to good use."  
Rick plugged in the CD player and they decided on Willie Nelson's "Red Headed Stranger" album.

  
Anna sat up in bed, propped on a pillow and drowned her sorrows straight from the red waxed dipped bottle. She figured she would drink tonight and indulge in just a bit of self pity and then start fresh in the morning.

  
"I've never seen a woman drink bourbon like you." Rick commented.

  
Anna shrugged,"I come from a long line of Southern, well-off, functional alcoholics. Plus I used to hang out in country bars in college. Guess I have an iron stomach. Dad was proud, Mom wanted me to drink sherry or spritzers or something like that."

  
She handed the bottle to Rick, who took a pull but made a face. She found it adorable. Anna laid beside him, her head on his shoulder and drifted off to Rick humming along to "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain."

* * *

 

Rick awoke the next morning and went to check on his kids. Anna was still in bed, sleeping peacefully. Judith was awake and cooing happily in her crib. Carl was already awake downstairs looking out the window to the gates of the town.

  
"What's happening out there, Carl?"

  
"Abraham...they're back."

  
Sure enough, the van carrying the team Abraham assembled came to a halt inside the gates and Abraham, Michonne, Daryl and Glenn got out and started walking with purpose to the Grimes house. Rick felt his stomach sink, knowing that they had news and it didn't look to be good.

  
He opened the door to them before they could even knock, "What's the news?"

  
Abraham released a frustrated sigh, "We cleared out the roamers near the gates but we have a problem. A herd."

  
Rick felt his stomach bottom out, "How many?"

  
"Seems about two thousand." Daryl admitted uncomfortably, as if he knew they were in for a long few days.

  
"Two thousand?"

  
Michonne spoke up, "And that's not all. One of the wall panels has been compromised."

  
"Do we have time?"

  
Daryl shrugged, "No more than a day...but time to reinforce the place in the wall and time to warn people. Prepare 'em."

  
Just then, Anna came down the stairs and looked surprised to see everyone. But not as much as everyone was surprised to see her.

  
"Oh hey...everyone."

  
No one said anything and he saw her read the room, "What's wrong?"

  
Rick passed Judith on to her and she accepted and bounced the baby on her hip, "While they were out, they saw a huge herd. Headed our way."

  
Anna turned still and met his eyes. Her green ones were full of fear. Their little bubble had finally burst.

  
Rick told the others to go and alert the towns people to meet at the place where they practiced shooting in a half hour. As the team left, Rick turned to Anna and kissed her forehead, he could see the fear in her eyes.

  
"We're gonna be ready. Go get your gun."

  
A half hour later, all of the town, with the exception of Spencer and Tara, gathered in the place beside the Monroe home. Anna stood next to him and held Judith close to her. Carl was at his other side.

  
The people of Alexandria were terrified, and rightly so.

  
Rick explained how they were going to back a truck up to the panel that was compromised, until they could go outside walls and reinforce it. They would also increase patrols and lookouts. And until the all safe was given, they would all need to combine houses and use as little electricity and be as quiet as possible.

  
He saw both Jessie and Deanna Monroe boring holes through him with their eyes. He was leading Alexandria now. He was their protector.

  
After the meeting, everyone walked in the directions of their homes and prepared to batton down the hatches. Rick told Carl that Enid could stay with them until all of this blew over. Carol and Daryl could as well.

  
Once they got back home, Carl gathered all the weapons they had in the house and Anna found all the candles she could. Soon all their houseguests came with their own weapons.

  
Enid, Carol and Daryl joined Anna, Carl and Judith in the candle lit kitchen when a knock came at the front door. When Rick opened it, Jessie stood on the porch with her sons and a bag of their belongings.  
She looked at him timidly, "Rick. We're scared. And we're not warriors. Can we stay with you?"

  
Anna appeared in back of his head, she wouldn't like this, but he knew what Jessie said was true, they had a better shot staying with their group.

  
Rick opened the door to them and let them in.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder that a large portion of this story was written before the MSP on Valentine's Day and follows more closely to the comics from here on out :)

Anna did her best not to be completely angry that Rick had allowed Jessie and her kids into their home. No matter her feelings for Jessie, Ron and Sam were innocent.

However, Ron was unhappy to be under the same roof as the man who killed his father.

After a humble dinner, Anna sat down with Judith and read chapters of "Where the Red Fern Grows" with Enid and Carl by candlelight. Enid was a sullen girl, but she seemed to enjoy to read. Soon, Sam and Daryl had joined to listen to the story, too.  
Anna remembered how much the book emotionally wrecked her in the fifth grade but then considered what all the kids in the room had seen and gone through, and then decided perspective made the book seem cheery in comparison.

  
Once a few chapters were read and the book was passed around; Carl, Enid, Sam and Ron all decided to head upstairs to Carl's room to hang out. Anna stayed on the couch and cuddled Judith closer as she looked around the room. Carol and Jessie were talking in the kitchen and Rick had gone on patrol. Daryl moved up to the couch from the floor and sat next to Anna. He picked up the book and turned it over in his hands.

  
"Not a bad story."

  
Anna smiled, "It wrecked me as a kid. I don't think these kids will feel the same way, it was a different world then."

  
Daryl looked solemn and nodded, "Didn't do much reading as a kid."

  
"Your mom ever read to you?"

  
"I didn't have that kind of family."

  
Anna felt a pang of sadness for Daryl, rough as he may be he was a good man and a loyal friend. The silence hung thickly between them and finally he spoke, "So you and Rick..."

  
"Yep. Me and Rick."

  
"I s'ppose it makes sense."

  
"Why, thank you Daryl."

  
"I get it now, why you were so quick on the trigger the other day."

  
She gave a small nod, "I didn't want to lose him to threatening scavengers. Or any of you. You are my people, now. I'm not to thrilled with being a killer, though. But this world is different now. So different."

  
Daryl looked like he wanted to say something, but had trouble forming the words,"At Grady...Beth...if I'd have known, I would have shot and asked questions later. We could've taken them down. All of them."

  
"If I would have known, I would have killed Dawn Lerner myself. That righteous bitch. She beat me. She beat everyone. I wish I could've found the strength I have now. But that didn't come until the offer Rick made. I'm surprised no one else took the chance. I wish I could've saved Beth, too."

  
He looked down at his hands and nodded, "She was a good person. Hope and Light."

  
Anna found herself taking one of Daryl's hands in her own and squeezing it, "You're not so bad yourself, Daryl Dixon. And don't you forget it."

  
He gave her a bit of a nod and she excused herself to take Judith upstairs and put her to bed. Anna changed the baby and wrapped her in a blanket and sang her to sleep with more Christmas carols. Judith's little hand was at Anna's neck, gripping Jeannie's pearls. She had refused to take them off since the display in the kitchen of her old home.

  
As she laid Judith in the crib, the door opened slowly behind her and Rick entered quietly.

  
"Hey," he greeted her somberly.

  
"Hi baby," she whispered.

  
Rick's lips pulled with a half smile as he took her by the waist and they both looked down at Judith.

  
"I'm sorry about Jessie."

  
She shook her head, "I understand. They are safe here. Differences aside, Ron and Sam are innocents."

  
"I hope you won't mind if I take you to bed now."

  
Anna couldn't help but smile, "I don't mind at all, constable."

* * *

 

Rick had spent most of the evening walking the perimeter of Alexandria's walls with Michonne, Morgan and Abraham, to make sure the one breach was the only compromise in their major mode of defense. They backed a van up to the loose, cracked panel to help reinforce it until after the threat of the herd had passed.

  
When he had finally arrived home, he briefed Carol, Jessie and Daryl on the events...but only could think of taking refuge with Anna.

  
They laid together in bed, as naked as the day they were born, after a quiet, quick tryst of lovemaking. He spooned her soft, warm body and smelled the sweetness of the sun in her hair.

  
Anna was his port in the storm.

  
"I find it sexy that you're still wearing those pearls."

  
Rick kissed the nape of her neck and she giggled and spun around to meet him, "I have decided to not take them off again. I don't want anything to happen to them."

  
"I have to say, it's a good look for you."

  
She snuggled into his chest, right when the bedroom door opened.

He had forgotten to lock the door. They both shot up, he saw Anna pull the sheets protectively to her chin.

  
Jessie entered the room wearing a thin nightgown and seemed surprised to see Anna in his bed.

  
"I see." She said broodingly.

  
Rick sputtered, still in shock, "Jessie...what are you doing in here?"

  
Jessie looked somewhere in between livid and humiliated, "I came to see you. Why do you think? "

  
Rick swiftly grabbed his jeans and put them on under the covers. He stood up and took Jessie by the elbow and lead her to the hallway. She started yelling at him in s whisper before they even crossed the threshold.

  
"You gave me hope. You killed my husband infront of the whole goddamn town and made me think you wanted me. And instead you jump into bed with that bimbo?"

  
He put his hands on hips, "She's more than just that, Jessie. I'm sorry I gave you ideas early on. It was wrong and rash of me. As far as Pete goes, you truly did deserve better. He beat you and killed Reg."

  
"Are you trying to say you love her, Rick?"

  
He hadn't said it out loud. But had thought about it. He loved things about Anna. He was sure he was falling hard, "Yeah, I think I do."

  
Jessie looked hurt, but didn't cry, "Great. Have fun screwing that low rent Scarlett O'Hara while I've lost everything."

  
"You still have your boys Jessie...and Alexandria and people willing to protect you."

  
She made a disgusted sound and flipped her middle finger at him and walked back downstairs. Rick just watched as she descended to the living room.

  
He probably deserved that.

  
Rick walked back into the bedroom, made sure to lock the door and found Anna sitting up in bed and wearing his shirt, "How did that go?"

  
"Just like you think it did. Then it ended with a middle finger."

  
He loved it when she wore his shirts.

  
Love.

  
The thought ran through is head to tell her.

  
Rick slid back in to bed with her and cupped her face with his hands, "Anna, I..."  
He stood on the precipice of the word "Love." He saw her green eyes widen, waiting for him to finish.

  
"...I think it's ok if everyone knows about us now. No more secrets."

  
That isn't what he had wanted to say, but she smiled brightly at hearing it.  
She kissed him passionately and pulled him back down with her beneath the covers.

* * *

 

The next day the house was up and running, Daryl and Rick on patrol while Tobin and a lady named Holly kept an eye on the wall panel. Anna, by and large avoided Jessie, who looked like she could spit venom in Anna's general direction at any given moment. She bathed Judith and read with the kids and talked to Carol, who was unsurprised by what Jessie had told her last night.

  
"It was bound to happen, the way you two looked at each other."

  
Anna burned pink and washed the dishes from the morning meal. Even though the living quarters were cramped, to say the least, Anna was brimming with all sorts of happy and sentimental feelings toward Rick. The best part was, it didn't have to be a secret anymore.

  
A knock came upon the front door and Anna went to answer it. When she opened the door, Spencer stood there, black and blue from the encounter with Enid and Rick.

  
Her hand went instinctively to her holster and cupped the hilt of her .45, "Spencer you shouldn't be here. At all. Go home."

  
"Anna, let's leave this place. Tonight."

  
She shook her head and walked on to the porch and shut the front door behind her, "We can't. There is a huge herd coming our way. If you go anywhere you should wait it out."

  
"You should come with me. Rick doesn't care about you the way I do."

  
"Spencer, I know whatever you thought we had...even as brief as it may have been...it's over. You can't take your mom out in this, she wouldn't make it."

  
Spencer took her by the shoulders tenderly, "No, not mom. Just me and you. We could make it together."

  
Anna looked at him in disbelief, he was going to abandon his mother? This whole town on the brink of horror? And he wanted her to go with him?

  
Before she could even think, she pushed him away from her and and punched him square in the jaw and he fell down the porch steps. She looked down at him in disgust, "I think this end of me and you."

  
She watched as he got up, held his jaw and scampered back home. Anna shook her hand, she didn't want Spencer to see it, but punching him really hurt.

  
Anna sat on the front porch, trying to make peace with what I'd just happened when Rick and Daryl came tearing down the street at an all out run. Anna stood up and felt panic rising, "What is it?"

  
Rick didn't stop he just took her by the wrist as he and Daryl barreled through the front door and drug her with them.

  
Once Rick locked the door he told the whole house, "The wall has been breached. Tobin and Holly are gone...the herd is making it's way in."

  
Anna felt the panic brimming up from her stomach. Rick was hastily closing blinds and locking down doors. He said he had heard Tobin's cries, but when they got there...The herd was ripping through and Tobin's flesh. Holly had run to alert the other towns people.

  
Rick told them all to be ready, have weapons and go upstairs and be quiet. Judith must've felt the fear and worry and she started crying. While Rick was putting on the harness that attached her to the front of his chest. Anna snuck upstairs with her and rocked her in the rocking chair to calm her down. Judith rested her head against Anna's cheek and played with the pearls at her throat.

  
Anna wept softly, scared for sweet Judith and Carl.

  
Rick entered the room, not as quietly as he normally would. He kneeled down in front of Anna and his daughter, "Anna, we're all going to move up here. Keep an eye on things. Do you have your gun?"

  
She nodded wordlessly as he put ammunition beside her, "Stock up and take this."

  
He held out a small axe. She gathered that this was for hacking and slashing their way through the herd...if need be.

  
Rick kissed her gently on the mouth, "We gotta be strong, Sweet Thing. Protect our kids."

  
Her heart dropped. Our kids.

  
Anna nodded and Rick stood up to go prepare some more, but she shot up behind him and called him back, "Rick...wait!"

  
He turned around and looked at her as she held Judith tight. She felt the words coming out quickly, "I love you."

  
Anna watched as he smiled in spite of himself and in spite of the situation. Rick walked to her and embraced her and Judith. He pulled back and took her face in his hands.

  
"I love you too, Anna. To hell and back, right?"

  
Anna started crying again and nodded, her heart so full of love and fear, "To hell and back."

  
He kissed her passionately and then kissed Judith's forehead, "Alright. Let's get ready."

* * *

  
The group brought some food and candles and all the ammunition in the house into Judith's room. Jessie and her kids huddled in the corner while Carl, Anna and Judith sat in another and read aloud from "Where the Red Fern Grows" and she brought "The Westing Game" and "The Little Prince" as well. Rick and Carol and Daryl watched out the windows.

  
"Is that Michonne? And Morgan?" Carol asked as she looked up the street.

  
Daryl hurried downstairs and Anna could hear the door opening quickly and shutting the same way. Morgan and Michonne appeared in the room, catching their breath and armed with walking stick and sword, respectively.

  
"They're coming."

Rick and Daryl watched as a swarm of roamers took to the streets of Alexandria. Rick realized that they could only hide for so long, that the herd was being effectively corralled by the walls. If they waited too long, there would be no way out.

  
He looked to his children and the woman who loved him and felt his hardened heart break a little. Anna snuggled with Judith and read with Carl quietly. She looked up and met his eyes and nodded in solidarity. He had just heard the three words fall from her lips not even two hours before. The same ones he wanted to say to her the night before.

  
He loved Anna Leigh Marber. He wanted to raise his kids with her and spend what time he might have left with her. If the world could survive and return to a lawful, civilized society...he wanted to give her the family she deserved.

  
But first, they had to survive and escape this two thousand roamer horde.

  
As the evening fell; Rick, Michonne, Daryl and Morgan talked about what their next move should be. Someone needed to control the influx of walkers breaking through so they could fix the wall. There was talk of small groups disguising themselves under walked gore to camouflage them the way Glenn or Rick had in Atlanta or Michonne when she arrived at the prison.

  
Rick worried about taking Carl and Judith out into the herd, but it may be their only chance. Jessie voiced her opinion from the corner of the room, "There are small children involved that isn't a good plan."

  
He didn't mean to be callous, he had hoped for matter of fact, "This is the plan we have. We can't stay here. I'm not worried about anyone else's kids but my own. And that's how you should be."

  
Jessie looked bewildered at his answer.  
Rick and Daryl resolved to go in the morning and catch some roamers to use for camouflage and sheets to put the gore on...like ponchos. That way, Judith would be covered and not scared by the herd, though if she cried it could be an issue. They would try and make their way over or through the wall and then attempt to help the others once they got out.

  
Once the planning was done, He walked over and sat with Carl, Judith and Anna, who were currently working on their second book for the day. Anna smiled as Judith reached out from her lap and over to Rick. He held her close and she squealed in delight.

  
Even though the odds were against them, he felt like a lucky man.

  
"So that's the plan then." Anna said plainly as she marked the page in the book.

  
"It is. We can't wat much longer. If they all keep coming in, there will be nowhere for us to run."

  
Her green eyes had a hint of sadness in them, but she remained strong. She nodded, "Will you take Judith? Turn her away from the monsters so she can only see your chest and be covered by the sheet?"

  
He nodded, "You and Carl stay close to me. Have each other's backs. This will work I'd we play it right."

  
Rick kissed her forehead and put his free arm around her until she fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

 

The next morning, Anna stripped the beds in the house and raided the linen closets while Rick and Daryl grabbed two walkers and gutted them so the people in the house could cover their ponchos with gore.

  
Anna thought it was thoroughly foul, and gagged while securing her camouflage.  
But she knew this was their only chance, that Rick had all of her trust in this.  
She held her little axe with her right hand and holstered her gun on the same hip, pocketsfull of ammunition at the ready. Rick strapped Judith in her harness, facing inward and before they put on their ponchos, Anna ran to Rick and kissed him and Judith.

Rick took her face in his hands, "Love you, and once this is over I'm going to show you exactly just how much."

  
Anna smiled in spite of the dread, "I love you, too...constable."

  
They kissed again and before she knew it, they were suiting up in the ponchos and getting their marching orders from Rick and Daryl at the door.

  
"Just remember to be quiet and slow. We should be ok."

  
Rick took the head of the group with Daryl and Carol while Michonne and Morgan brought up the rear. Anna walked behind Rick and infront of Carl and Jessie and her kids were in the middle.

  
Anna felt the fear rising up from her stomach and all the way into the back of her throat. As they walked outside, the streets of peaceful Alexandria were rife with blood, guts and rotting flesh. They staggered and limped and meandered for anything living to eat.

  
They walked out quietly and walked directly in the middle of the street and at a snail's pace moved toward the other end of town.

  
Anna watched as Rick held Judith beneath the camouflage of the sheet, she looked to be asleep, which made Anna relax a bit more. Behind her, she heard Ron freaking out more loudly than he should, "Mom, this is crazy. Let's go inside."

  
Sam seconded the emotion, and was crying. Jessie attempted to comfort them, but it did little good. Soon Sam was openly weeping and Rick fell back and hissed quietly, "Stop it. They are going to notice. We are almost there."

  
But before that could happen, Ron emitted a squeal of disgust and a walker had bitten him on the neck. Jessie and Sam fell back, and Jessie began to scream.

  
"Ron...Ron! Oh God!"

  
Rick spoke up, "Keep walking. There isn't anything to be done. "

  
Jessie continued to scream as the horde devoured her son alive. She grabbed Carl by the hand and would not let go, "Help him, Rick! Please!"

  
Sam stood by his mother, and Rick stopped and gave a demanding whisper, "Let go of Carl. Come with us or stay here. But let my son go."

  
Anna moved slowly and could see Rick reaching for the red handled machete on his hip. Jessie would not let go. The horde hand moved on from Ron, and reached for Sam. Jessie screamed as they converged closer and pulled Carl's arm back into the clutches of the herd. They were reaching out for him and would get him if she continued to hold him back.

  
Anna gripped her axe handle and took Carl by the shoulder as she turned around and met eyes with Jessie. She apologized sadly, "I'm sorry."

  
Jessie looked confused, and then the terrifying realization washed across her pretty face.

  
Anna then swung her axe to meet Jessie's wrist of the hand that held on to Carl.  
Jessie's hand came clear off and blood came spurting from her wrist.

  
The walkers grabbed both Jessie and Sam as Anna pulled Carl to her. Rick looked stunned and unsheathed his machete and cleared the walkers from their path.

  
Every foot they walked had become an all out melee. Daryl and Carol and Michonne and Morgan all joined the fray, felling the dead as they neared the other end of the street.

  
Anna looked over her shoulder once, just to see Jessie being torn apart.

  
There wasn't time to be horrified, they kept moving.

  
Anna heard shots coming from the tower...Sasha had her protective sight over them. more shots rang out the closer they got to the Monroe home, and bullets flying into the walkers just ahead of them.  
Deanna Monroe opened fire in the street as the herd moved towards her. Anna could hear her screaming, "Sons of bitches!"

  
She emptied her rounds and reloaded just as the walkers descended upon her. As they tore at her, the sound of her gun went off again and again. Anna stepped infront of Carl and Rick protectively, and felt the sting and tear of a bullet near her cheek and another in her shoulder. They pain was so intense, she dropped and her head flopped backward and hit the pavement.

  
She heard Rick scream, "No...Anna!"

  
Everything was light, foggy. She felt her own blood trickling into her eyes and a hot, oozing sensation at her shoulder. Before she lost consciousness, she saw Rick swinging his machete into multiple walkers furiously and she heard a familiar voice...Daryl's...

  
"Goddammit Princess!"

  
The last thing she saw was the blurry sky as she was being lifted by a pair of arms.

* * *

  
Rick paced in the clinic, where Anna was unconcious in a hospital bed, while Rosita looked her over. Anna hit her head hard enough to knock herself out and sported a bandage on the left side of her face where one of Deana's bullets grazed her cheek and another one where a bullet lodged in her left shoulder.

  
Anna had saved his children. She had done things he didn't think she had the gumption to do.

  
At the end of the day, they had lost Tobin, Deanna, Jessie, Sam and Ron.

  
Members of the walker herd still roamed in Alexandria, but the threat had lessened when all residents of the town had come out of their houses to take back the town instead of cowering in fear.

  
Rick and Carl helped Daryl by clearing the way for him to carry Anna to the clinic. Anna passed out from shock, Rosita said and had concussed herself when she hit her head. Daryl had gone back out to clear the streets with the others...mounds of bodies piled up in yards and sidewalks.  
Abraham, Aaron and Morgan had gone to the breach and did what they could to mend it with what construction materials they had.

  
The next day, they would start the long job of taking the bodies out to be burned and cleaning up the town. Then, they would lay their own dead to rest.

  
Rosita flashed a pen light in Anna's eyes, "She's out cold. But she will be ok. Might have some trouble with the shoulder. The graze on her cheek will probably scar. But thankfully, as far as my limited medical knowledge can tell...she's gonna be ok. Just a little worse for wear."

  
Carl and Judith sat in a chair at Anna's bedside, And Rick knew he should be helping in the streets instead of pacing back and forth with his hands on his hips.  
But he desperately wanted to be there when she woke up. He wanted to kiss her, comfort her, and thank her for putting herself infront of his children. She selflessly protected them with her own body.

  
Carol came in, covered in walker blood, "How is she?"

  
"Out like a light. Concussed, shot...but ok." Rick stopped pacing and stood with Carol.

  
"Most of the blocks are clear. Still some stragglers roaming. I think Abraham and his group has stopped the breach in the wall...for now."

  
Rick nodded, all good things. But Anna dominated his thoughts. He made her a promise before they left that house and he intended to keep it.

  
"I know I should...be out there. But I can't leave her. Not yet."

  
Carol nodded, "It's ok Rick. I just wanted to see if you wanted me to take Carl and Judith home. Clean them up, put them to bed?"

  
Rick nodded, "Yeah. That'd be great. I know they are probably starving, too."

  
After he had bid farewell to his children, Rick sat in a chair beside Anna's bed and watched as she slept so deeply that he could not reach her. Her hair was in a tangle and her skin was pale from blood loss. He took her hand in his and waited for her to open her eyes...to say something.

  
Hours passed and nothing transpired. He fell asleep with his head leaning on her hospital bed, her hand still lifeless in his.

  
In the wee hours of the morning, he felt her hand move beneath his own. The cold hand stroked his face and Rick looked up to see Anna, her eyes barely open but awake.  
Rick immediately jumped up out of the chair and instead, sat at the edge of her bed. She looked weak and disoriented.

  
"Anna?"

  
"Judy...is Judy ok? Carl?"

  
He nodded his head, "They are fine, and at home thanks to you."

  
"How bad...how bad is it?"

  
Rick smiled and squeezed her hand, "You got shot...your shoulder. One of Deanna's bullets grazed your face, too. You knocked your head pretty hard when you went into shock. But you will heal. We'll take good care of you."

  
Her lips pulled up in a tired, sad smile, "I'm sorry about Jessie. I couldn't let her get Carl killed."

  
Rick nodded...the sad truth was that the entire Anderson family had met their ends once Rick and his people had come to town...and most of the Monroe's.

  
"Good news is, the herd has thinned enough that there are only stragglers left. Abraham has patched the wall enough to protect us. as soon as we clean up, we are going to put angled pikes around the wall so walkers don't whave a chance to get close. This can still be our home. You and me and the kids...we could be a family,"

  
He watch as Anna smiled again, "Sounds good to me, constable."

  
Rick kissed the corner of her mouth gently and she sighed, "When do I get to go home?"

  
"We'll have Rosita check you out in the morning, until then, rest and get some sleep."

  
Anna gave him a pleading look, "Will you stay with me?"

  
Rick felt tears form in his eyes, but they did not fall, "Yep. Always."

* * *

 

The next morning, Anna arose to resounding pain where the bullet had been dug out of her shoulder and a thumping, massive headache starting from the back of her head.

  
Rosita brought her some water and pain pills and check her eyes and her wounds. She cleaned and redressed them and then shrugged, "Keep everything clean. You're not going to be a hundred percent for awhile, so keep things light unless you absolutely have to be physical. Try not to tear your stitches. But other than that, I'll think it will be ok for you to go home."

  
Rick and Rosita helped her into a wheelchair and he pushed Anna through the corpse filled streets of Alexandria. All the neighbors were helping to clean up and load bodies on to the back of trucks so they could be taken out and burned.  
Anna took in the scene and felt an incredible wave of sadness wash over her.

This was it. This was all they had. This town, each other.

  
When they made it to their home, they were greeted by Carol, Michonne, Daryl, Carl and Judith sitting on the porch. She gave them a small, pained smile.

  
"Hi guys."

  
Carol spoke up, "I made plenty of food. You must be hungry."

  
Her stomach turned over, she was and wasn't all at the same time. So she nodded and Michonne and Rick helped her up from her chair. Once to her feet, Rick scooped her up and carried her over the threshold, just like a groom would carry a bride.  
Once indoors, Michonne helped Rick settle Anna on the couch, a pillow to prop up her head and another one to put under her left arm.

  
"Guys, I'm sure I don't need this many pillows."

  
Rick smiled, "Don't like all this attention?"

  
"I mean, I am injured...not completely helpless."

  
Michonne flashed her a knowing smirk, "You took quite a bump on pavement yesterday. Concussions are not to be trifled with. And you were shot on top of that. Maybe today you can let that pride sit in the back seat."

  
Anna gave Michonne a salute, and then Michonne and Rick went to help Carol in the kitchen. Carl came and sat next to Anna with Judith. The baby clapped and squealed happily at Anna.

  
She felt sad knowing that she was unable to pick Judith up with her arm the way it was. But she used her right hand to stroke the top of her head.

  
Carl looked solemn and then spoke up, "Yesterday, if you hadn't have done what you did...I would've been eaten alive...or shot in the face."

  
Anna smiled, "You'd have done the same for me. Plus, you mean so much to your dad...and you mean a lot to me too."

  
Carl looked unsure of how to respond and just nodded and said, "Thank you."

  
"You're welcome. Where did Enid get off to yesterday?"

  
Carl shrugged, "She went a different way. She made her way all the way to the back near the wall and fought her way back. She's a bit of a loner."

  
Anna nodded, "I can get that about her. Seems like she has been on her own for a long while. Did you guys do anymore reading?"

  
He shook his head, "No, not since...but I got 'The Westing Game' upstairs. Want me to go and get it?"

  
"Sure."

  
Carl handed off Judith to Daryl, who came in toting the wheelchair, and Daryl sat in the same spot that Carl had just vacated and sat Judith on his lap.

  
"I'm gonna have to figure out a new name for you."

  
Anna sighed sarcastically, "I can't wait."

  
"'Cause Princess and Cupcake don't work anymore...neither does P.T.A."

  
"I've never been to a P.T.A. meeting in my life , Daryl."

  
He chuckled and Judith followed suit, "Nah, something else...maybe Killer or...oh, I know...Sparky!"

  
Anna looked confused, "Sparky?"

  
"Yeah because your brass balls are so heavy they drag the ground. Sparky!"  
Anna hung her head and laughed, "I'm totally ok with Princess...or Cupcake."

  
Daryl's smile waned and and he turned serious again, "I had you wrong, Anna. You got a lotta heart."

  
"Daryl Dixon, don't make me blush...but I should say thank you. Thank you for saving me...getting me to the clinic. I could've been roamer bait."

  
He nodded, "Ain't no thing. Family has each other's backs."

  
Anna felt tears fall down her cheeks and she whispered, "Thank you."

  
Daryl shrugged, "Now don't go and get all mushy on me, Sparky."

  
Just then, Carl popped back down stairs with the book and they entertained themselves with a chapter until Carol called them to lunch.

  
After they ate, Michonne, Carol and Daryl went back out into the streets to aid with cleanup and left the Grimes household to their own devices. Anna couldn't deny that she was hurting...her head and her shoulders were heavy and even though it was still daylight, all that she could think about was bed, bourbon and some soothing music.

But first, she had to ask Rick for help up to the restroom.

  
He wanted to carry her, but she refused. So instead Rick slung her right arm over his shoulders and then put his arm around her waist. It was slow going, but she finally managed to make it upstairs. Rick deposited her on the closed toilet seat.

  
"Um...do you need...?"

  
Anna shook her head and waved him off, "I appreciate the sentiment, but I can take it from here. Just stay close by."

  
After using the restroom, Anna hoisted herself up by the towel rack and stumbled to the sink to wash her hands and brush her teeth. When she caught sight of herself in the mirror, Anna was taken aback.

  
The packing from her shoulder made her look misshapen and crooked. She was dirty, bruised and swollen. A bandage covered almost the whole left side of her face. Curiosity got the better of her and she carefully pulled back the dressing. She felt sick when she saw it, sutures sewed up what was basically a giant chunk of flesh from her cheek.

She would be scarred.

  
Anna felt faint and stumbled backward into the wall. Rick must have heard her and opened the door in just enough time to catch her.

  
"Whoa...you ok?"

  
Anna felt tears sting at her eyes, "My face...I just saw...what I..."

  
Rick understood immedately, "It will heal."  
She shook her head, "Not completely..."

  
Anna took a deep breath, it seemed incredibly conceited and narcissitic to worry about something like a scar on her face during the apocalypse. She turned away from him and looked in the mirror again. No make up to hide it. Nothing but to hope it would heal the best it could.

  
Anna turned her head to the side and surveyed the damage. It was bad, but it could've been far worse.

  
Rick put a hand on her shoulder, "There's nothing in this world that could steal your beauty, Sweet Thing."


	8. Chapter 8

Once Anna got over the initial shock of her face, she cleaned up a bit and Rick helped her to bed. She asked Rick to retrieve the bottle of Maker's Mark from the bedside and she propped herself up to relieve the pain in her left side. When Rick opened handed her the bottle, she immediately took four large gulps without flinching. Rick raised his eyebrow and she just shrugged.

  
"It's medicinal. I've seen westerns."

  
Rick looked dubious, "Are you okay?"

  
She took another swig of bourbon, "I will be. I'm upset about my face. I know that's stupid. I could've died. Got eaten alive. Turned into one of those things. I lived. And I am upset about my pretty face not being as pretty as it used to be."

  
Rick chuckled, "It's silly. But I understand."

  
"There is an entire hunk of flesh missing. From my face. In the old world...crow's feet was a fate worse than death. I started using night cream at 25. I'm going to need to adjust. It might take awhile, if I am being honest. I know that is extremely shallow, and I am struggling with that, too. It's definitely not how I want to be."

  
Anna just wanted to sleep. She wanted to wake up the next day with a better attitude and outlook. Rick sat beside her on the bed and looked at her with a unsure expression.

  
"Want some music?"

  
"I just need some sleep, I am hurting. Will you lay with me?"

  
"I will in a bit, but it's still daylight right now. I'm going to go check on the clean up and tend to the kids. But I can't wait to spend some time...just you and me."

  
He kissed her forehead and then her lips and shut the bedroom door behind him. Anna felt herself slouching further and further, the bourbon finally having it's desired effect on her body and mind. She felt light and relaxed and it wasn't too long before she fell asleep.

  
Anna dreamed about Dawn Lerner. In her dream, she killed her with her own bare hands. Then the dream switched to Phillip, his scorched flesh after the bomb was dropped...he told Anna there was no hope, none in this new world. She could smell the burning...and finally, she dreamed that she gave birth to a baby...a walker baby...

  
She woke up screaming and tangled in the bed sheets. She was sweating and crying and manic from the dreams.

  
Anna heard hurried footfalls on the stairs and Rick and Carl holding Judith all appeared at the door. Judith's eyes were wide and scared and Anna instantly started to calm down. She took long inhales of air until her heart wasn't thumping in her ears any longer.

  
Rick looked worried, "Bad dreams?"

  
She nodded hurriedly, "Yeah...Yeah...I will be ok. Just gotta calm down."

  
Anna wiped her eyes with the back of her right hand and leaned back against the pillows. The adrenaline pumping through her body made her hand shake and Rick walked to her side of the bed and pulled her to him.

  
"Whatever it was...it wasn't real. You're here with us."

  
She nodded her head, even though she felt that there were hints of truth to her dreams. Her own subconscious hit below the belt that way. She looked to the window and saw it was dark outside.

  
"What time is it?"

  
Carl shrugged, "Ten maybe. Just getting ready to put Judith to bed."

  
She sat up and looked at Judith, she desperately wanted to hold her. Anna wished she was well enough to do so. Carl and Judith said their goodnights and Rick followed them out to tuck them into their respective beds.

  
Ten minutes later Rick returned to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. She watched him as he readied himself for bed, which was exquisite torture for her, because she wasn't well enough to do the things she wanted to do with him, either.

  
And oh, the things she wanted to do with him.

  
When he finally came to bed, Anna realized how big and awkward she felt in the bed, like all the swollen and achy parts of her had grown ten times their normal size. He gave a relieved sigh and leaned back on his pillow.

  
"Wanna tell me what woke you up?"

  
She looked into his blue eyes and gave him a wan smile, "Nightmares of nothing good. Tell me about the clean up. The plans. Going forward."

  
"The herd. The bodies...are all outside the wall. They are burning them. Tomorrow we lay our own to rest. Then Abraham and the construction crew are set to reinforce the walls of the and build the perimiter pikes. Then we go on. Build, grow...survive."

  
Anna nodded, "I wish I could help."

  
He chuckled at her, "You will. Just not at the moment."

  
She felt herself blush, "There's other things I want to do, too. Like be able to touch you..."

  
Rick flashed her a sly, sideways grin, "Well the good news is...I can still touch you."

  
Anna burned brighter than she had ever burned before.

* * *

 

The next day, Rick helped Anna wash her hair and dress for the memorial for their dead. No matter what she thought about the wound on her face, Rick knew that she was still the most beautiful creature in this world. Once Anna was in her black sun dress, Rick fastened the string of pearls around her neck and helped her down stairs to the wheelchair.

  
Rick watched her as Carl brought Judith over to her and she smiled and stroked the baby's face with her right hand. Anna wanted to hold Judith so badly that it pained him to watch.

  
Carl carried Judith and Rick pushed Anna down to the lot near the Monroe home where five new headstones and graves had appeared. No one had seen hide nor hair of Spencer since Maggie went to tell him about his mother.

  
Rick didn't know whether or not they should be worried.

  
As the town gathered, Father Gabriel welcomed them and began his eulogies. Rick looked down at three of the graves, wondering wether or not his actions had lead to the end of Jessie and her kids.

Anna looked somber and unreadable. He knew what she was thinking; she had dug three of those graves herself...to save Carl.  
Gabriel recited the same verse from Revelation that he had when they laid Reg and Pete to rest, and before he could finish, Spencer came out of his home...unshaven, drunk and still black and blue from their last encounter.

  
"You all didn't care...about my mom! Leave! She is dead because of you. My father, my mother and my brother are all dead! All because of what Aaron brought back in...Rick and his people."

  
Spencer stumbled over and stood a foot from where Rick and Anna stood. He looked at Anna in the wheelchair and yelled even louder, "See what he does, Anna? You are in a wheelchair because of him. Your face is ruined. He comes in and takes things that don't belong to them and he breaks them."

  
Rick stepped forward, ready to do what was necessary, but a hand flew up from the wheelchair to stop him. Anna looked up at him and shook her head and then turned to Spencer defiantly, "Spencer. Go home. You're upset. We all understand. But now is not the time."

  
Spencer shook his head and Rick stayed emotionless, "He's got you wrapped up in all his pretty words. All his lies. You deserve better, Anna."

  
Aaron approached quietly and took Spencer by the arm and lead him away from the cemetery. Gabriel never got to finish his passages, or the funeral, after everyone watched Spencer walk with Aaron and then the congregation dispersed to their homes.

  
Rick pushed Anna home and Carl lagged behind with Judith, talking quietly to Enid. Anna didn't say much, and that worried him. She usually had plenty of things to say.

  
Carl and Enid went ahead indoors to play with Judith and Rick stopped short of the porch steps and sat on them, directly in front of Anna.

  
"Anna...your face is far from ruined."

  
Then he recognized it, she was fuming. So angry that she didn't have words.

  
"I should've just let you kill him."

  
Rick sighed, "I know you don't mean that. You wanted to be his friend. You believed there was good inside somewhere."

  
She shook her head, "I was wrong. Completely wrong. And stupid. He never wanted my friendship. I was just something to have or win in all of this. The day you and Daryl ran home, when the wall was breached, he showed up at our door. Wanting to run away with me. And leave his mother here. What an asshole."

  
Rick was shocked by this news, but ultimately knew what kind of a person Spencer Monroe turned out to be, "You didn't tell me about this?"

  
"Because I knew you'd kill him, you promised to. And like a fool, I thought he would have gotten the point after I punched him in the face and told him that anything we had, friendship or otherwise was done. He is a total chicken shit."

  
Rick chuckled unexpectedly, he had never met a more surprising little spitfire than Anna and he always got a little thrill when she cursed.

  
"Why are you laughing?"

  
"Because I would've done just about anything to see you lay Spencer Monroe out. I'm really kind of upset that I missed it."

  
Anna smiled inspite of herself, "It really hurt, but I tried to play it cool."

  
Rick took her by the right hand and helped to hoist her up so they could ascend the porch steps and into their home with their family.

* * *

Anna loved being in the sunshine.

Especially with Judith.

Five weeks later, she was finally able to physically do what she wanted to, even though her shoulder was still weak, the wounds had shut and had begun to heal. The stitches came out of her shoulder and cheek. The shoulder would always look bad, but her face was beginning to look better. The bruises and ungainly swelling had dissipated, and a pink scar now ran from her inner cheek to the apple of her cheekbone. She hoped that the pinkness would fade over time.

  
On that particular afternoon, Anna was harvesting tomatoes and peppers from the garden...the only things she had manged to clean up and get healthy in the backyard, but she was nonetheless excited about. Judith grasped a fat green pepper in her hands and squealed with delight.

  
Carol called to them from the back porch, "Need any help carrying them in?"

  
"No, we're fine. Be back in a few minutes. Thanks for the offer, though."

  
Anna stood and picked up Judith and then the basket full of fresh veggies, which she couldn't wait to chop, dice, cook, pickle or can. The options were limitless.

  
As she neared the back porch, Daryl and Rick appeared. They had been out all day walking the perimeter of the wall and helping Abraham's team fortify and build pikes for protection. Judith scrunched up her nose in excitement, seeing her father and said something that sounded like, "Day-ee" in his direction and pointed.

  
Rick laughed warmly and took the basket from Anna and kissed both her and Judith on the forehead, "How are my girls?".

  
Anna smiled, "Loving the sunshine. Oh, and she now calls everything a 'shoe.'"

  
Recognizing the sound, Judith extended the pepper she was holding to Daryl and said, "Shoo."

  
Daryl laughed and took the pepper from her, said thank you and bit into it, "Best tasting shoe I've ever had."

  
Judith scrunched up her nose again and and clapped, "Shoo."

  
Since they had settled into Alexandria, Judith had been making developmental landmarks with leaps and bounds. Her babbles turned into mimicking and soon she was giving names to faces. Carl was identified as "Ca" and Anna was "A-nana."  
Everything else (except her father) was a called a shoe.

  
Rick looked down at the basket and nodded, "Not a bad haul."

  
"I wish there were more varieties, but I think this is a good start. I can't wait to plant more."

  
Carol laughed, "Anna wants to turn all the yards into gardens. I'd love to help her but I killed any plant I was given. But I will help can and cook."

  
Anna smiled, "I can't wait! Sauces and pickles and jams and jellies and preserves. Now if only we could figure out corn and wheat and dairy..."

  
They all walked into the house and Anna saw Carl and Enid sitting at the kitchen table, poring over gardening books. They were going to help Anna and Eugene plant and build raised beds and make cages for plants that grew tall. School had ceased since half of their class had died when the herd converged on the town. Anna figured reading and discussing books, writing recipes, and building a functioning garden would do for the moment.

  
Judith cried happily when she saw her brother, "Ca!"

  
Carl looked up and smiled, "Hey Judy. Get a lot from the harvest?"

  
She raised her chubby arms in the air, "Shoo!"

  
The kitchen filled with laughter and Anna handed Judith to her father and took the basket to the kitchen sink to wash them off. She asked over her shoulder, "Ya'll staying for dinner?"

  
She heard Daryl answer, "I'm heading over to Aaron's. Gonna talk about scouting, and everything to take into consideration since the last time we went out. I'm sure Eric will make something there. Thanks though, Sparky."

  
"How about you, Carol?"

  
"I'm going to go check on Sasha. Take her some food. She hardly leaves that tower. I'd like it if she came down and ate."

  
Anna nodded, there were a few folks she hadn't seen in a while. Michonne and Morgan had been spending time together, Sasha had her tower, Tara was taking it easy with Eugene and Rosita while Abraham and his builders worked on the wall, and Maggie had been telling her about Spencer's progress. She had been taking him food. He hadn't left the house since the funerals.

  
This was completely okay with Anna.

  
Daryl and Carol said their goodbyes and showed themselves out, and Anna counted fourteen tomatoes and eight peppers. Her mouth watered at the sight of them, fresh food was something she had craved since she was holed up at Grady.

  
She had a lot of ideas and she couldn't wait to talk to Eugene about them. The funny thing about Eugene is that he proved very helpful in engineering, building and planning ideas dealing with math and science. He had become something of a "city planner" for Alexandria.

  
Anna was lost in her own thoughts when she felt Rick's arms at her waist and he planted a kiss on her neck, "You're far away again, Sweet Thing."

  
She smiled, "Just thinking. Ideas for the town."

  
"You make urban growth sexy."

  
Carl let out an embarassed sigh, "Da-ad."

  
Anna laughed lowly, "You're cramping your son's style."

  
"I forgot. He's a teenager now."

* * *

 

Rick got ready for bed and heard Anna in the next room singing Judith to sleep. He and Daryl had spent the day surveying the progress at the walls and talking about the things they didn't want to...like the walker trap he and Aaron had found and the man that encounted Morgan outside Richmond...the one with the "w" just like the walkers.

  
Daryl thought it would be best if they did not scout for awhile. That it would be best to fortify the town, make stronger defenses.

  
Rick agreed.

  
They needed to be ready.

  
His concentration was broken when Anna tiptoed into the room, her hair in a low ponytail and wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers.

  
Christ. She'd make a potato sack look sexy.

  
Anna pulled back the covers and slid in beside him. She shook her left hand opened and closed it.

  
"It's happening again."

  
Since she was wounded, Anna had healed for the most part. The gunshot wound in her shoulder closed and some of her strength retuned, but her smooth skin had been gnarled and scarred and she had been experiencing numbness in her left hand. She said she thought she had nerve damage.

  
And then there was her face.

  
Anna was self conscious of the raised, bubblegum pink scar. He saw her angling her hair over it often, especially when they were with other people.

  
She was always going to be beautiful.

  
Rick pulled her close to him and took her left hand in his, "Pins and needles?"

  
She nodded, and looked a bit sad.

  
"It's frustrating. I'm worried I am gonna drop Judy or something."

  
He sighed and massaged her hand, "Just keep her on your right side. "

  
Anna smiled and leaned against him, "I love that little girl."

  
"She is pretty amazing. I can't believe how much she has grown...changed. Carl, too."

  
Anna looked serious for a moment, "You know...Carl and Enid are getting kind of close and I was wondering...have you..."

Rick raised his eyebrow and waited for her to finish.

  
"...You know...given him the talk?"

He felt gobsmacked.

Sex?

Carl?

  
"Has he said something?"

Anna shook her head, "No, and I am sure if he said anything it wouldn't be to me. I've just been picking up on...vibes. I think it would be good to hear about something like that from his dad...and not by me or anyone else."

  
Rick thought for a moment and realized Anna was right. Carl and Enid were the only ones of their age...and curiosities arise.

  
"I think this is a 'Blue Lagoon' type situation. Remember that movie? Two kids shipwrecked on an island?" Anna chuckled lowly.

  
Oh, he remembered. How could he forget Brooke Shields?

  
Anna saw the look on his face and smiled, "Rick Grimes. Are you scared?"

  
"It just really didn't ever occur to me that I'd have to have this conversation with him...I just thought I had to teach him about survival...not sex."

  
She touched his face, "It's just making him aware of what could happen. How things work. Most kids get the talk at 11 or 12. It's just...life. Apocalypse or not. It doesn't mean you're endorsing it. Just tell him the facts. Straight up."

  
He thought about what Lori would say in this situation. She would probably agree with Anna, because she knew what boys Carl's age were like...she would be more in tune to that...those "vibes."

  
Rick thought about what their home would be like without Anna...and all he could think was poor Judy. Poor Judy growing up with a brooding dad and teenage brother. Before he knew it, Rick leaned in and kissed her and asked what he had been thinking all day.

  
"Anna...what would you think about us...getting married?"

  
She laughed, and then realized he was serious, "I mean, with the world the way it is...is it still a thing? Does it matter?"

  
He shrugged, "It matters to me, and I think it matters to you. Maggie and Glenn got married when we were at the prison. Her dad performed a ceremony. We could talk to Gabriel."

  
Anna looked thoughtful and a small smile pulled across her lips, "I suppose I wouldn't rule it out then. "

  
"Would you want a ring?"

  
She shrugged, and he could tell she still wasn't truly believing what she was hearing, "If you find a ring, then I'll say yes."

  
Rick realized that it was a formality, an idea from the old world. That they could call themselves husband and wife now and no one could question it. Maybe he was being sentimental...but he believed there was something to be said to say vows infront of God and your people...if you believed in that sort of thing. They could vow love and fidelity here in bed and it would truly be the same.

  
Maybe he just wanted to make an honest woman out of her.

  
Or maybe he wanted her to make an honest man out of him.

  
Rick kissed her sweetly, "That's a deal, Sweet Thing."

 

* * *

Anna awoke the next morning, her mind swimming with possibilities. Her heart fluttered at the thought of Rick feeling out the idea of a forthcoming marriage proposal. For some reason, marriage hadn't crossed her mind, that was a forgone time and a social construction that only existed on a piece of paper. All legal athourities and branches existed only in their minds.

  
She felt bad for having laughed initially, but found it incredibly sweet that he would want to do something so publically.

Because whether he knew it or not, in her mind her life had been bound to his since he lead her out of Grady Memorial Hospital.  
Anna thought about Phillip...and about Lori often. She thought that they would understand and be supportive of the both of them. Phillip would want her to fulfill her dream of a family...and she hoped that Lori would want Rick to have someone to love and care for her children if she could not.

Anna would do anything for Lori and Rick's kids. She loved them with her whole being.  
With all the bad in the world the knew...why not a wedding? Why not have two survivors pledge their lives to one another and become a family?

  
The more Anna thought about it, the more it made sense to her.

  
After she dressed in a navy t-shirt and jeans and pulled her hair up in a lazy knot, she went to Judith's room to get her ready for the day. Anna peeked her head in and saw Judith sitting up happily, and then pulling herself up to stand in her crib.

  
"Good morning my Judy girl!"

  
Judith trilled with delight and shouted, "A-nana!"

  
Anna felt so full of love. She almost burst. She lifted Judith out of her crib and changed her diaper and put her in a mint green sweater and a pair of jeans. Anna held her on her right hip and carried her down the stairs. Judith was a happy girl, which made Anna feel good considering the constant danger she had been put in since the day she was born in the prison.

  
Once in the kitchen, she put Judith down on a blanket on the kitchen floor and she played with little empty plastic bowls as Anna started the coffee and oatmeal for breakfast. Soon Rick wandered down, his gun on his hip and that swagger that was solely his.

  
"Day-ee!" Judith squealed and Rick scooped her up with a smile and a kiss.  
Rick swatted Anna playfully on the ass and she turned around and handed him a cup of coffee, "Morning constable."

  
He took his mug and Judith over to the kitchen table, sat the baby back on the blanket and then sat down in a chair, "So what's the plan for today?"

  
Anna turned to him and smiled, "I was hoping to go see Eugene for a bit. Take him some veggies and bounce some ideas off of him...and while I'm gone...maybe you could talk to Carl?"

  
Rick looked the slightest bit deer in the headlights and Anna couldn't help but laugh, "Oh come on, don't make that face."

  
He took a sip of coffee, "I've been thinking about this, I don't know how to initiate it."

  
"I would stay a way from the phrase 'when two people love each other.' I don't think that applies to teenage hormones in the apocalypse. I think it's just about compatible body parts."

  
Rick covered his face with his hands, "Oh God."

  
Anna walked to the table and sat next to him, "Just be frank. Tell him it's normal. Tell him about the ups and downs...tell him you don't want to be a grandad until all this is over. Tell him to be smart and maybe don't do it, since condoms are scarce."

  
Rick sat up, "But talking about this...aren't you worried that we might...you could get pregnant? Because we have thrown total caution to the wind."

  
She really hadn't thought about it. Anna spent ten years trying to conceive and when she finally did...she lost it. It would be a miracle, and yes, scary. But it was a long shot.

  
"I suppose it's a possibility, but given my history and current age...I'd say it would be a long shot. Even when I was young I wasn't fertile."

  
Rick leaned in and whispered, "If things were normal outside these walls...if things were safer...I'd love to make a baby with you."

  
Anna felt her entire face and even her ears blush. He always made her feel like she was naked infront of a classroom giving a speech.

  
"Rick Grimes, you are forever making me blush."

  
He just smiled at her slyly and soon they heard Carl's footsteps coming from upstairs. They both sat up and as Carl appeared in the kitchen, Judith greeted him with a "Ca!"

  
Anna rose and went to fetch the bowls of oatmeal from the counter and also got some applesauce for Judith.

  
Carl yawned a good morning and flopped into a kitchen chair unceremoniously. Anna eyed Rick and hid a smile. The man was sweating bullets. He was more comfortable about killing roamers and fighting his way out of places than talking to his own son about the birds and the bees.

  
Anna sat on the floor and fed Judith while the boys made small talk at the table. Once Judith had eaten, Anna cleaned up, finished her coffee and picked up her trusty notebook and some veggies and bid all of her loves goodbye, "I'll be back in a bit. Be good until then."

  
She almost broke into a fit of laughter making her way to the street, wishing to be a fly on the wall.

* * *

 

Rick heard the front door shut and looked to Judith, happy and fed, and then to Carl who was still half asleep and lazily eating his food. He sipped his coffee, and thought that perhaps bourbon would have been a better choice.

  
Carl looked at him suspiciously, "Is something wrong?"

  
He shook his head, "Nah, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

  
His son looked confused, "Like what?"

  
Rick took another sip of his coffee and shrugged, "Ah, you know...the whole girl thing."

  
Carl hid his face with his hands, "Oh God. Is this happening."

  
It made Rick feel better that Carl had similar feelings on this issue. He sat forward and tried to make the situation more comfortable.

  
"I know you and Enid have gotten close...and you guys are the same age...I just wanted to know, you know, how much you know and if you have any questions?"

Carl sighed, "I know about how babies are made, Dad."

Rick nodded, "Well I should hope so. But this is different. This is about feelings and urges and stuff that happens as a teen that is normal. But it's also about being responsible. I know you're gonna be curious. I know you are gonna try stuff out...but I want you to be ready and maybe think things through...so I don't end up a grandpa anytime soon."

  
Carl remained silent, like he was taking it all in and Rick added, "If you ever need to talk to me about anything like this...I just want you to feel comfortable. I'm sure Anna would do the same."

  
"What if you guys have a baby?"

  
Rick inhaled, "It's unlikely. Anna and her husband had trouble when they wanted one."

  
Carl looked down at his hands, "Oh. That's sad. She loves Judith."

  
"She loves you, too. There is actually something else I wanted to ask you about...I'm thinking about asking Anna to marry me. Is that something that would be okay with you?"

  
"Like Maggie and Glenn?"

  
Rick nodded and Carl shrugged, "I guess. She's pretty much already a member of the family. I don't see why not."

* * *

 

Anna cut up tomatoes and peppers for Rosita, Tara and Eugene as the latter looked through her ideas of a community garden.

  
Eugene nodded as he flipped pages back and forth, "This could work. Where do you propose this large garden should be?"

  
Anna brought a plate to the coffee table where Tara and Rosita reclined on the couch, and both of them lunged excitedly for the fresh vegetables.

  
"Uh, well, if they continue to clear blocks of houses as they hope and expand the wall, we might be able to aim for a bigger space. But for now, I'm thinking about where we had shooting practice. The other side of the Monroe house. Long rows, maybe some raised beds and even a greenhouse. One of the books I have has a how-to with accessible materials."

  
Eugene nodded silently and then said, "We should talk to Abraham and Glenn. See if they have or could acquire some materials for us."

  
Tara looked tired, but thrilled at the novelty of garden fresh vegetables, "I could eat all of this. I never thought a fresh tomato could be so delicious."

  
Rosita agreed, "I forgot about all the rice and oats we've been eating. All of the canned food."

  
Anna cleaned up after herself and took her notebook back from Eugene, "We could compost, too. There are just so many opportunities that the town could self sustain. I'm going to go talk to Glenn. Give him a list of things to look for."

  
Eugene nodded, "This is a good step, Anna. If we can get the town up and running we could integrate animals and even grains...if we can acquire them."

  
She smiled and said her goodbyes and made her way down the street to where Maggie and Glenn lived. Anna was hopeful with a strong defense and sustainability, that Alexandria could be the place to live and not merely survive.

  
Anna even had plans on forming a library for the town, but that was a little down the road. She walked up the front steps of Maggie and Glenn's home and knocked on the door. She heard tired footsteps and Glenn opened the door. He looked drawn.

  
"Hey Glenn, I don't want to bother you. I know it might be awhile before the supply runs start again...but Eugene and I have hopes of starting a community food garden, and we hashed out a list for you and Abraham for supplies and materials."

  
Glenn nodded, "Sounds good. Maggie mentioned she might be by to see you...she has been helping Spencer go through his parents things...some things he thought you could use."

  
She digested the news quietly. She didn't want to see Spencer anytime soon, but it would be okay if Maggie delivered them to her. So she ripped the list from her notebook and handed it to him.

  
"I will be looking forward to seeing her. Let me know when the runs start up again."

  
Glenn nodded again, "Will do."

  
Anna walked home and thought about what the town could be like if they built it up to what they had hoped to accomplish...if only the outside world would settle down, as well. If they could only live in relative peace.

  
When she got to the house, Daryl and Michonne were visiting Rick and she couldn't help but smile. She couldn't ask for better people to be greeted by upon arriving home.

  
"Hey there, Sparky! Sounds like you've been busy!" Daryl smirked at her good-naturedly.

  
Anna nodded and put her notebook on the coffee table and sat next to Michonne on the couch, "Indeed I have. Eugene and I are hoping to get things started soon. Community food garden, greenhouse and composting all on the docket. Just need to meet up with Abraham to see if he could spare some building supplies."

  
Rick picked up her notebook, "If you want to make a list, Daryl and I are going to check in on the wall fortification today. I'd be happy to give it to him."

  
"That would be amazing, thank you." Truth be told, Abraham intimidated her, but he had a lot of respect for Rick, so she felt like it would probably go more smoothly. Anna turned to Michonne and gave her a knowing, playful look.

  
"And where in the hell have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks!"

  
Michonne smiled at the friendly ribbing and smiled, "Been laying low."

  
The rest of the visit went by with laughter and ended with both Michonne and Daryl taking home some veggies. Anna made sure to tell Michonne to share with Morgan and maybe bring him over one night for dinner.

  
Then Daryl, Michonne and Rick all left to walk the perimeter and see how the walls were progressing. Before he left, Anna tore out the list for Abraham and handed it to Rick and he pulled her close for a quick kiss and whispered in her ear, "I'll be home soon. I can't wait to get my hands on you."

  
She felt herself redden and swatted at him, "Tell Abraham I said hello...and thank you for the materials."

  
Later that evening, Anna, Carl and Judith sat in the living room reading "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" out loud. It was then that she realized how much she missed her stash of Peanut M&M's and Red Vine licorice. Oh, and Coca-Cola, too.  
She mentally made a note to find cocoa beans, learn to grow them and somehow make chocolate.

  
This particular book made for dreadful post-apocalyptic reading.

  
A knock came upon the door and Carl rushed to get it, Maggie appeared holding a large plastic tub of things.

  
"Hey Maggie, come on in." Carl opened the door to her and she placed the tub by the couch. Anna stood up next to Maggie and looked down.

  
"Is this all from Spencer?"

  
Maggie nodded, "Yeah, there is more, too. All stuff he wanted you to have. Thought you could get use out of. Books, CDs, some of his mothers clothes. He's still struggling, but doing better. He started eating regularly again. I think he's really sorry, for whatever happened between you all."

  
Anna remained stoic. She would like to believe it, but did not care for letting him back in...especially after threatening Carl, Judith and Enid...and hating Rick and blaming him for all his losses.

  
"Let me get you and Glenn some of the veggies I harvested yesterday. Maybe you can take some to Spencer, too. Something different might help him eat."

  
Maggie accepted the vegetables excitedly, "I haven't seen anything this pretty since the farming we did at the prison. Rick went through a time when my Daddy was teaching him to be a farmer. Did he tell you that?"

  
Anna grinned in disbelief, "He didn't. It seems the constable has been holding out on me."

  
"Well, I better be getting home. Thank you for the beautiful vegetables...I will bring by some more stuff tomorrow. Bye ya'll."

  
Anna and Carl bid Maggie goodbye and Anna locked the door behind her. Carl had sat Judith on the floor and was digging through the box and she joined him. On top there were two dresses that had belonged to Deanna, a warm heathered gray coat, a stack of books including "To Kill a Mockingbird," "Love in the Time of Cholera," "The Catcher in the Rye" and "The Time Machine," and finally twenty cd's that ranged from country, to hippie music to classic pop.

  
Anna felt her heartbreak a bit, knowing that these things were a part of Reg and Deanna's home, and that they were gone...and Spencer was alone. He was falling apart.

  
But she knew she couldn't be his friend. He would take it too far if she spoke with him...showed him any sort of kindness. As long as Maggie was looking in on him, it would be okay.

  
She hoped.


	9. Chapter 9

  
After Rick and Daryl had checked in on Abraham and his builders and passed along Anna's wish list, he stopped into Anna's old home and began looking for anything that could serve as a wedding ring. He knew she felt a connection to Jeannie and Tom, and he figured that it would be the place to start.

  
He went upstairs and searched the bedroom, remembering how Anna said she had found the box full of notes, pictures and pearls hidden behind the dresser drawers. Older folks were like that. Hiding valuables in a time of crisis so they wouldn't get stolen...like how some people stashed cash in mattresses and pillows because they didn't trust banks.

  
Rick had imagined her first enagagement ring to be large, sparkily and platinum. His hope was to find what was available, and then choose from that. He took out drawers and searched in corners of dressers, end tables, nightstands and found nothing. He hated the idea of hunting for walkers and trying to find one wearing a ring, a la Glenn and Maggie, but if that was what he had to do, it was what he would do.

  
Before he left, he wandered to the kitchen window, where he looked into the back yard, he noticed that little yellow flowers had popped up in the shady part of the yard near the gardening shed. He didn't feel like going home empty handed, so he went outside and cut bunches of them and their greenery.

  
When he made it home, Anna had dinner waiting for him. She smiled when he presented her with the flowers, "These are Green and Golds! How pretty!"

  
Anna pulled down a mason jar, filled it with water and arranged the flowers on the kitchen windowsill over the sink.

There was a difference in the way she moved since she got shot. Her hands were slower and less nimble and her left side slouched a bit lower than the right. He knew it frustrated her to not be able to do the things she wanted to do.

  
Once she sat down to eat with him, Rick asked, "Where's Carl?"

  
"He and Enid already ate. They are upstairs in his room."

  
Rick stopped and looked at her, his eyes wide. After the conversation today, he had hoped Carl would be more careful of making him panic. Anna must've saw the look on his face and she patted his knee, "I asked them to leave the door open. They are fine."

  
"I had the talk with him earlier."

  
She nodded, "Oh I know, I heard all about it, and I got all the questions you didn't get."

  
"I told him to ask me...or you...but I thought he would ask me."

  
"Rick, you're really great at being a leader, and protection and survival. Maybe he just thought...I'd be a little more sensitive about it or something."

  
There was some truth to that, he thought. He probably wouldn't want him or Lori talking to it about that, but since Anna wasn't his parent, perhaps he felt more comfortable.

  
Rick noticed a plastic bin filled with items he didn't recognize, "What's that?"

  
Anna sighed and put down her fork, "Maggie came by. She has been helping Spencer go through his parents things. These are things he thought I would like."

  
Rick shook his head, "He's dangerous, Anna."

  
"I know. I don't want to see him or talk to him, but it doesn't stop me from feeling sad about him. About what has happened to his family...to him."

  
She had a tender heart beneath all that spitfire. Rick appreciated that about her, but wanted her to be wary of Spencer and his intentions.

  
He really should've killed Spencer when he had the chance.

  
Anna reassured him gently, "I'm not inviting him back in to my life. Not a chance. But I am sorry for all that he has lost in a short amount of time. I am not sure if he is equipped to deal and survive alone. It's just sad. And I unfortunately have a bleeding heart for people."

  
Rick nodded, if it weren't for that bleeding heart, he would have still been toeing the line at losing his humanity...becoming a cold, heartless, monster.

  
She changed topics on him, "So Abraham and his crew...how are the reinforcements coming?"

  
"Good. The crew has taken to digging ditches instead of setting up the pikes all the way around the perimeter."

After dinner, Rick helped Anna clean up and then they both retired upstairs to their bedroom. He always enjoyed watching her get ready for bed. Pulling her hair up away from her face, exposing her long and now sun-kissed neck, the way she held her head when she brushed her teeth...she made everything feel so normal...like home. Anna had become his anchor.

  
When she slid into bed next to him, Rick pulled her to his chest and she sighed happily, "I am so beat. But oddly happy. All this planning has made me hopeful."

  
"I understand completely."

* * *

 

Sometime around sunrise, Anna awoke with her head aching and waves of nausea battering at her like the sea. She hurried to the bathroom and barely made it before she started vomiting.

  
When she was done, she rested her head against the toilet seat and couldn't remember the last time she felt this way.

She stood up and washed her face in the sink and rinsed out her mouth before brushing her teeth.

  
Anna looked at herself in the mirror, she looked sweaty and mussed and her face was pale. She wanted to go back to bed, but she didn't want to make Rick or the kids sick. So she went downstairs and laid on the couch with a throw blanket.

  
Her head thumped and her stomach turned and she fought for sleep on the couch. Somewhere around seven a.m. she gave up. She went upstairs and showered and dressed in jeans and a loose black t-shirt. When Rick awoke, Anna was sitting in a chair in the bedroom, reading "Love in the Time of Cholera."

  
"You ok, Sweet Thing?"

  
Anna shook her head, "I'm a bit puny. Didn't sleep too well. I don't want the kids getting sick. And we're out of coffee."

  
Rick smiled at her sweetly and got up out of bed, "I'll check out the ration stores today. Bring some home. Need me to get Carol to tend to the kids?"

  
"Just Judith...I'm sure Carl is capable of managing."

  
Rick rose from the bed and walked to her. He put his hand against her forehead,"You don't feel feverish. Why don't you get back in bed and let me take care of you?"

  
Anna let him pull her up to standing position and he kissed her temple gently. Once Anna was back in their bed with her book, he got dressed and ready for the day. Anna watched him from behind the pages; she loved his lean, muscular torso and arms.

  
He was such a beautiful man.

  
Before he left the room, he looked at her with his blue eyes, "Want some tea?"

  
Anna nodded and watched a smile pull at his lips. As he disappeared out the door and down the stairs, she found herself swooning a bit at just how much she felt for him. When he came back up with her tea, Anna sat up a bit and accepted the mug from him.

  
Rick stood beside her, his hands on his hips, "Need me to see what they have in the clinic?"

  
"I think I'll be ok. It just caught me off guard. I'm feeling a little better already."

  
"I'll tell Carl what's up and send Carol by. You get some rest. I'll be back soon."

  
Anna nodded as he kissed her forehead. Once he had shut the bedroom door, Anna snuggled beneath the covers and attempted to get some sleep.

* * *

 

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Low? How low?"

  
Olivia sighed and picked up her ledger, "Let's just say we need a supply run. Or we're gonna need to worry about more than just coffee. Any word yet on when the team is headed back out?"

  
Rick found himself pacing, "I'll talk to Glenn and Daryl. I can't believe the food is that low."

  
"Well, there hasn't been a supply run since the herd. It was bound to happen eventually."

  
Rick said his goodbye to Olivia and made his way to find Daryl, Carol and Michonne. They would have to get a team together and quick. Carol and Daryl were on the front porch of Carol's house, when they saw him, they immediately read his expression.

  
"What's wrong, Rick?"

Carol asked, her face stoic and prepared for bad news.

  
Rick's hands went instinctively to his waist, "We're running out of food. We need to get a team together as quick as possible. Where's Michonne?"

  
"She's clearing out the roamers in the ditches with Abraham," Daryl said as he stood up, his crossbow slung over his shoulders.

  
"Alright, Daryl...find Glenn, I'll tell Abraham and Michonne. Carol, will you stop in on the kids? Anna is under the weather today."

  
Carol nodded, "Sure. She's not...feverish is she?"

  
Rick shook his head vehemently, "No. Just tired and kinda sea sick looking."

Carol gave him a look, but said nothing.  
With a "Thanks," Rick watched them disperse to their designated tasks.

* * *

 

A knock came from the bedroom door and Anna sat up with a start,"Come in."

  
Carol came in quietly, and sat down on the bed carrying a canvas bag, "Rick told me you weren't feeling so hot today. Kids are fed...now how about you?"

  
"I'm so nauseated. I got sick before dawn. I didn't sleep. Just feeling pretty wretched."

  
Carol shook her head and sighed, "Anna...do you think you could be pregnant?"

  
Anna felt like she had been slapped...no she hadn't thought about that. In fact, she was sure it couldn't happen, because she never did get pregnant in ten years of trying...and she had lost Phillip's baby when she did.

  
Just the day before she had told Rick it was, "Possible, but unlikely."

  
Jesus Christ, she felt herself panicking, "Carol...I tried for ten years with my husband. I can't be...I got pregnant and lost it at Grady...it's...it's..."

  
Carol put her hands on Anna's shoulders and tried to calm her down, "I went to the clinic before I came here. I brought you this."

  
Carol reached into the bag and pulled out a box...a drugstore pregnancy test. Anna felt her stomach wade up her throat and ran to the bathroom to vomit.

She felt horrible. If she was pregnant, she would have misled Rick. She felt like a liar. But who knew that after years of nothing...her body would cooperate during the apocalypse and with a man who was not her husband.

  
"Here Anna, let me help." Carol appeared at the bathroom door and brought a cool washcloth and placed it on the back of her neck.

  
"Rick is going to be mad. He's going to think I lied to him."

  
Carol shook her head, "He might be upset, but it will be because he is fiercely protective of his family. It takes two people to make a baby the last time I checked, he had to have known it was a possibility. He wouldn't dare let anything happen to you...or the baby."

  
Anna cried on the floor of the bathroom, feeling more like a liability than anything else. Everything she had ever wanted was happening...when she didn't want it to.

  
Carol handed her the box again, "First things first. Find out, then worry about what to do."

  
Anna took the box from her and looked at it, her heart thundering in her ears. Carol shut the door to the bathroom as Anna opened the box and read the directions.

* * *

  
Rick met Glenn, Maggie, Aaron and Daryl at the gates. They were preparing to go on a supply run, and hopefully find food to supplement Alexandria's stores. Rick pulled Daryl aside and put a hand on his shoulder.

  
"While you're out there...Judith needs shoes, whatever you can find...and also, if you find any, bring back rings."

  
Daryl looked confused, "Rings? What kind?"

  
Rick put his hands on his hips, "Anything that would work as a wedding ring...for Anna."

  
Daryl raised his eyebrows, "Gonna take the leap with Sparky, huh?"

  
"Yeah. Yeah I am."

  
"Well, ya could've done far worse."

  
"Thanks, Daryl."

  
Daryl shrugged, "That girl is gonna need a nice ring, right?"

  
Rick smiled, "The best you can find."

  
Once the party was ready, they said their goodbyes and Rick closed and locked the gates behind them. He felt stressed out, and really just wanted to go home to his family. When he hit the porch steps of his house, he felt the load lift off of his shoulders.

* * *

 

Anna stared at the white test stick on the marble of the sink, it was going to be the longest two minutes of her life. 

Suddenly, before her eyes came the answer.

  
Two blue lines. Clear as day.

  
She was pregnant.

  
With Rick's baby.

  
Anna screamed a silent scream into her hands and slid down the wall of the bathroom. Carol opened the door and looked down at her, and then to the test on the sink.

  
"So I finally get what I want...when I don't want it. I tried for years to have a baby. I was infertile. When I finally got pregnant with Phillip, the outbreak happened and he died and I lost the baby. And now...I think it's impossible, and I am okay with it...Rick isn't even my husband...the dead are walking...and now? Now I get pregnant?"

  
Carol sat on the floor with her and shrugged, "I've always heard stories about women and men trying and trying...but once they stopped trying, it happened. Like when they had adopted a child, or later in life. Maybe there's something to that."

  
Anna looked at Carol with a demanding look, "How can I tell Rick? That I was wrong, that it isn't a long shot? That I am going to bring another innocent life in this God forsaken world?"

  
"Anna, I think you should just tell him the truth. You know who he is, he protects his own."

  
Anna nodded, but still felt lost. Lost and nauseous.

  
"We should find a calendar. Figure out how far you are along."

  
"My last period was right before I left the hospital. They haven't been super regular since I miscarried...and all the stress...so I guess about seven or eight weeks."

  
Anna thought about Lori...the complications in the prison. Carl having to shoot her. Rick was going to be upset. It was too much, even for her.

  
"I think I am going to puke again."

  
Carol held her hair back for her as she threw up what was left in her stomach and then some bile. Once she was done, Anna rested her head against the toilet seat.

  
For a few moments, her mind was blissfully empty.

  
And then she heard the front door.  
Carol hurried downstairs as Anna hid the box and the test under the matress on her side of the bed. She went back into the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth and hesitated for just a moment.

  
She didn't know if she could do this.  
Anna pulled herself together as much as possible, and went downstairs to greet Rick and gauge how she should proceed. Rick looked tired, but happy to be home. He was holding Judith and talking to Carol when he turned around and saw her.

  
"Hey Sweet Thing. Feeling better?"

  
He extended his arm out to her and pulled her in for an embrace and she smiled, "A little. Pretty tired, though."

  
Not a lie, but not the whole truth.

  
"How was your day?" Anna asked.

  
Rick sighed, "Not great. I couldn't get you any coffee. The stores are actually pretty low. Daryl, Glenn, Maggie and Aaron went out on a supply run."

  
"How low?"

  
"If they come back with little, we're going to have to ration...heavily."

  
Anna swallowed the worry that had found its way to her throat...she mentally made a note to wait to tell him about the pregnancy when the team had returned...hopefully with food.  
Carol spoke up, "I'm going to head home. I'm sure I'll see you all tomorrow."

  
"Thanks Carol." Anna met eyes with her, but Carol remained stoic as ever and merely nodded as she headed out the door.

  
Carl came bounding down the stairs, "I'm going to go see if Enid wants to take a walk."

  
Rick called after his son, "When the sun sets, come home. Not any later than that."

  
Carl shrugged and agreed, "Ok."

  
When the door had shut behind Carl, Rick sighed, "Just me and my girls, I suppose. You hungry, Anna? I think we got some spaghetti, or chicken bullion."

  
She choked back bile at the mention of food and shook her head, "Just tea, please."

  
Rick looked at her, concern all over his face, "How about you go on upstairs and hit the sack. I will take care of Judith and bring you some tea. Maybe you can read me some of that book you were reading this morning?"

  
Anna nodded, "Sure. Sounds nice."

  
She walked up the stairs and changed into the shirt of Rick's she slept in and the sweat pants from those first few days on the road. She tied her hair back in a ponytail and her hand lingered on the raised, new scar on her left cheek.

  
So many thoughts crashed together. They lived in a world with few doctors, there were no ultrasounds to make sure the baby was alright. There were no prenatal vitamins. If there were complications, she and the baby could both die.

  
If there was ever a time to fish out that fifth of Maker's...this was it.

  
But she couldn't.

  
Anna picked up "Love in the time of Cholera" from the bedside table and let her hands rest on her stomach. She couldn't believe it. Realizing a lifelong dream in the apocalypse in a matter of weeks. It was all so backwards.

* * *

 

Rick fed himself and Judith, bathed her and put her to bed in her crib. When he walked in with Anna's cup of tea, she was sitting up in bed, looking tired and peaked, but still so pretty.

  
He was worried about her, but didn't let that show. It would make him feel better if there was a doctor in town, one that could put his fears to rest. He sat on the bed and took off his boots, and Anna snaked her arms around his shoulders from behind.

  
"I'm glad you're home."

  
Rick smiled to himself, "No place I'd rather be, Sweets."

  
She eased back against the pillows as he changed and finally, he crawled into bed beside her. Anna pulled him to her and nestled against his chest. She seemed upset...or worried.

  
"You sure you're ok?" He asked as he held her in his embrace.

  
She let out a heavy sigh, "Yeah. Just not feeling so chipper. Worried about the food, too."

  
Rick nodded, "I know, me too. But we will find something. Just need to keep gardening and making supply runs and possibly start hunting. By the way...I told Daryl to look for some shoes for Judy. She'll be running around in no time."

  
"We're going to have to start baby proofing. That girl is gonna give us a run for our money."

  
He laughed, Judith was on the precipice of being a handful. She was adventurous and headstrong, just like Carl at that age. Laying in bed with Anna in his arms made him feel hopeful, maybe more hopeful than he should be. He thought that they could build Alexandria into a protected safe haven. Rick would marry Anna and they would raise the kids to be tough and compassionate to the right people.

  
"So this book you're reading...what is it about?"

  
Anna sat up and reached for the book beside her on the bed, "It's pretty sad. It's about a love story that spans fifty years. It's all pining and passion and cholera."

  
Rick chuckled, "How about we listen to some music instead?"

"Sure."

Rick kissed Anna sweetly as George Jones played in the background. He still couldn't believe after all the bad things that had happened since the outbreak, he had this little ray of hope with him...

The next morning, Rick awoke to Anna curled up beside him, sleeping soundly. a frantic knock was coming from the front door and he rushed down the stairs to find Michonne on the front porch, a fierce look on her face.

  
"What's wrong?"

  
"...A man...has Abraham. We were clearing out the roamers, he approached us and we both were no match for him. He wants to talk to the leader of the community."

  
"Let me get dressed and get my gun. I'll be right down."

  
Rick sprinted back up the stairs and threw on jeans, a fresh shirt and his boots. As he was buckling his gun holster on, Anna woke up and looked panicked.  
"What's going on?"

  
"A man has Abraham. He wants to see me."

  
Anna flew up out of the bed and kissed him deeply, "Be careful. Come home safe."

  
There was a look in her eye he could not place. Rick kissed her once more, "I'll be home soon. I love you. Take care of our kids."

  
He went downstairs and met Michonne, and together, the walked out beyond the gates to meet the man who held Abraham. He was large, muscular and had long dark hair and a beard.  
Rick rested his hand on the hilt of this gun, "You wanted to talk to me?"

  
The man stood next to a sitting, defeated looking Abraham and smiled, "You run this place?"

  
Rick nodded, "I'm Rick. Who are you? And why are you holding Abraham?"

  
The man sighed, "I didn't want to 'hold' anybody. I just wanted to talk about opportunities. My name is Paul, by the way, but most people call me Jesus."

  
"Because you are the savior?"

  
"No, because I look like him...Now let's talk about this opportunity I have for you...I come from a large community of around 200 people. About 20 miles outside of D.C. We are one of three communities that I know of..."

  
Michonne and Rick exchanged a look, both surprised to find out so many people were so close.

  
"...we have doctors and clothes and a working farm. We would like to set up a trade route with you all. I'd be happy to take you to Hilltop, so you can meet the man in charge. We could trade weapons for food...my gun is empty...see?"

Paul took out his gun and flashed them the empty chamber "...we could really use ammo, too."

  
Rick felt the rage boil up inside of him...he was done talking. He pulled back and knocked Paul's light's out before he could say another word.

Michonne and Abraham looked stunned, but both rose to action. Rick shook the shock of the punch from his hand and ordered, "Let's tie him up. We can lock him in the clinic, in the infirmary until he wakes up. He could be a scout for a raiding party."

* * *

 

Anna sat with the kids on the front porch, waiting for a sight of Rick or Michonne.

Her nerves were on edge, they were soon going to be a family of five, and Rick had no clue. Carl was reading the copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird" that Spencer gave her and Judith was bouncing happily on Anna's knee.

  
Suddenly, Anna saw Rick, Michonne and Abraham carrying a large man through the gates, and in the direction of the clinic. She felt overcome with relief, knowing that Rick was ok, and she still had time to tell him about her secret.

  
A small crowd had gathered at the gates, and soon, Rick reappeared to address them. Anna picked up Judith and she and Carl made their way to hear what he was saying. They had captured a man who had been watching them, claiming he was from a large community and wanting to set up trade. Rick believed him to be a scout for an incoming raid. He warned the Alexandrians to be prepared and use whatever weapons or means that they had.

  
Townspeople started running to their homes, but Anna, Carl, Carol, Rosita, Tara, Morgan and Eugene all stayed. Rick saw her and hurried to her side, "Everybody, go home, prepare. I'm going to talk to this guy when he wakes up."

  
He took Anna by the elbow and ushered her home, Carl followed and Judith looked like she was about to cry.  
"Rick...what if his offer is good? What if this place is safer? They might have doctors."

  
Rick shook his head, "I don't trust him. I can't."

  
Once they were back in the house, Rick scurried around, piling up the weapons in the house...Anna's gun, Carl's gun, the machete, the axe and two buck knives.  
Anna handed Judith to Carl and followed Rick into the kitchen, "So what are you going to do?"

  
Rick attached the red handled machete to his side and looked at her sternly, "I am going to talk to Paul. Then Michonne, Abraham and I are going to find out what is waiting outside those walls."

  
She felt her eyes widen, "You're leaving? For how long?"

  
"Until I know we are safe."

  
"I have something I need to tell you..."  
Rick pulled her to him by her hips, "I'll be back by tomorrow evening. We will talk then. Do whatever you can do to stay safe. Throw boiling water if you have to. When Daryl and the supply team gets back, fill them in."

  
Anna nodded, she felt tears stinging at her eyes, "Ok."

  
Rick kissed her so hard he tore the breath from her lungs, "I love you."

  
"I love you, too."

  
She watched as he kissed Judith and said his goodbyes to Carl in the living room. and with one last look, he was gone.

* * *

  
Rick, Michonne and Abraham trudged out of the wooded area five miles outside of Alexandria. They had been at this all day. There was nothing to find, no human for miles. Maybe Paul's story checked out? Maybe he was offering a trade route?

  
Rick thought about how cold and hardened he had become to the outside world. Hell, he was cold and hardened when they got to Alexandria, too...and when he had first met Anna.

  
When they had left earlier, he saw something in her eyes he hadn't seen before. She needed to talk to him, she had said. To be honest, since she had been sick, he had noticed a fragility in her. One that he knew she didn't want him to see.

  
He wanted to get home to her, but it was getting ready get dark. He wondered if it was smarter to make camp or continue on. Luckily, he didn't have to wait too long to figure out an answer; the van carrying the supply team appeared just down the main drag from them.

Michonne and Abraham ran to the edge of the road to flag them down.  
The van slowed and the side door slid back to reveal Aaron and Daryl...and two of Daryl's freshly caught game. The empty brown eyes of the two deer stared at Michonne, Abraham and Rick while Daryl waved them in.

  
"What in the hell are you all doing all the way out here? Get in."

  
They climbed in, one by one, and the door slid shut again. Rick filled in the team on what had transpired while they were away, and just what this Paul/Jesus fellow was offering. Maggie and Glenn exchanged looks and Aaron shrugged.

  
"Why don't we take him up on his offer? To see the place?"

  
Rick had thought about it, maybe tying him up on the way and promising to kill him at anytime of he had a bad feeling about all of it.

  
"I guess that is the next step."

  
Daryl explained what they had found on the supply run, or the lack thereof. Almost two days of searching and all they found was a ten pound bundle of rice and Daryl's two deer.

  
"I did find these, though, I hope they are what you wanted."

  
Daryl tossed a canvas tote in Rick's direction and when he looked inside, he found a three pairs of kids sneakers and two boxes. Rick opened the two boxes and found a blood red ruby ring, that had two tiny diamonds set in either side of the white gold band and in the other box, a his and her wedding band set made of white gold.

  
Rick looked up and smiled at Daryl, "Exactly what I was hoping for."

  
Daryl chuckled, "Yeah, well, you know what they say...Walmart has everything."

  
Before too long, they had reached the gates of Alexandria, and he couldn't wait to get home to Anna. After the gates were locked behind them, Rick helped Daryl to Carol's house with thew two deer and then sprinted in the dark to his home.

* * *

 

  
Anna was asleep in bed, looking pale and exhausted. He sat down on the bed to take off his boots and hit the shower, when Anna's voice called to him sleepily, "Hi constable."

  
He turned around to see Anna, her eyes full of sleep, but a smile pulled at the corners of her lips. An angel in his own bed.

  
"Hi Sweet Thing. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm going to shower real quick."

  
Anna grabbed his hand, "Wait, I have to talk to you."

  
"I'll just be a minute, Anna."

  
She shook her head, "No. It's gone on too long as it is."

  
Anna sat up in bed and looked at him head on, "I'm scared to tell you, but there is no way around it. I truly thought it was impossible, didn't think what could happen."

  
Rick was confused, "I don't follow..."

  
"Yesterday, when I was sick...and Carol came over..." Her voice trailed off in uncertainty as she fumbled for something beneath her pillow, "...and she brought me this..."

  
She handed him a white stick, one with a window that showed two dark blue lines.

He felt the color drain out of his face when he realized exactly what it was.

  
"Is this?"

  
"Yes."

  
His hand started to shake, "You're pregnant?"

  
Anna nodded, "Yes."

  
He noticed she didn't look at him, like she was ashamed or embarassed. Rick felt like he had been hit by a semi...on one hand, he was terrified of having to protect another infant from this world...on the other hand, he and Anna had made a baby. The most beautiful woman in this messed up world was having his baby...and he knew how much she had wanted to be a mother in her former life.

  
"I know I said, only two days ago, that it was unlikely with my history. But here we are...famous last words. I know this isn't want you want...it's not really what I want either...I'm so sorry."

  
A few slow tears began to roll down Anna's cheek and he took her face in his hands, "Anna...hey...I'm not angry. It's not the best situation, but we've been in worse. We'll get through this."

  
She looked relieved and kissed him, "I'm so scared. I'm afraid to lose it. Im afraid to give birth without medicine and doctors. I'm afraid of ushering an innocent life in to all of this."

  
Rick nodded, "Well, We're going to take Paul back to Hilltop, his story checks out. We are going to meet with the man in charge. If there are doctors there..."

  
Anna gave him a determined look, "I'm coming with you."

  
"I will go and check it out. It's too dangerous. If it is what he says it is...I will take you there."

  
"Rick, I am going with you. I have to."

  
He pulled her to him and hugged her tight, "Let's talk about it tomorrow. Right now, let's just be us. So...how far along do you think you are?"

  
"Well...I'm thinking, seven or eight weeks. I really don't want anyone to know yet...maybe because I am scared or I am just superstitious. I can't believe it's true, still. I can't believe it happened so easily. I can't believe I'm getting what I've always wanted when the world has gone to hell. It's so backwards. And I am so scared to miscarry again. It was awful, Rick. I felt so hopeless for so long."

  
Rick agreed, he too was scared. Scared for the little baby they were bringing into the world. Scared that Anna might die like Lori...he couldn't lose her. He refused to lose her. If trading with Hilltop meant access to doctors...he would do it for Anna.

* * *

 

Anna sat on the bed, feeling relieved that she had finally told Rick the truth.

She watched as he stripped off his clothes and walked to the bathroom to shower. Anna couldn't resist and when she heard the shower start, she sneaked into the bathroom and doffed her own clothes.

  
She stepped into the shower with him and wrapped her arms around his waist and he turned around to meet eyes with her. She kissed him suggestively and before she knew it, her back was pressed against the tile and her legs were wrapped around his hips as he pushed into her.

  
It was frenetic, primal lovemaking at it's best. They both needed each other, and they both needed release.

  
For a few blessed moments, they both needed the world to fall away.

  
The next morning, Anna awoke next to Rick, her hair still damp from the night before. The nausea had returned. She felt totally green.

  
She took her book downstairs and made a mug of hot tea, and hoped to hold the nausea at bay. After ten pages were read, Rick came down with Judith and pointed to the shoes on her feet.

  
"Daryl found her some shoes. They don't fit perfect yet, but they will do. We even have an extra pair she can grow into. The third pair were way too small, but we could hang on to them for...the next one."

  
Judith patted her father's cheek, "Shoo!"

  
Anna couldn't help but laugh and she put her book down on the table. Judith was a perfect little hope. If she could make it, the unborn baby could have a shot, too.  
Rick put something in Judith's chubby hands and waved Anna over, "I think she has something else for you, too."

  
She rose from her chair and walked over to them and Rick pointed to Anna as she held out her open hands to Judith.

  
"Go on, Judy, give it to her."

  
Anna smiled, expecting something Judith had latched on to from the house. Judith leaned forward and dropped something shiny into her hands, Anna realized exactly what it was...a ring. A ruby ring.

  
She held it in her hand for a moment, her heart thumping in her ears. Rick gently took the ring out of her her hand, and while holding Judith, dropped down on one knee.

  
"Anna, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

  
He held the ring up for her, and she nodded, "Yes."

  
Rick slid the the ring on her left hand he smiled a bright, handsome smile. Before standing, he hugged her about the waist and planted a kiss on her stomach. Anna felt hot tears running down her cheeks.

She was so in love with him, and his children. There shouldn't be so much happiness in the apocalypse.

  
When Rick stood up, Anna smothered him with kisses. Judith clapped and Anna kissed her cheek, too.

  
"I love you, Rick Grimes."

  
"I love you too, Anna. To hell and back."

* * *

 

In the afternoon, Rick felt on top of the world. Even the fears of this world could not bring him down. Anna was going to marry him and together, they would raise a family in the post-apocalyptic world. When Carl awoke and came down stairs, they told him the news...but kept Anna's pregnancy under wraps.

  
Mostly, his teenage son was nonplussed by the wedding news, but was more interested in meeting Paul and finding out what Hilltop was like.

  
"I don't think that is a good idea, son. If it wall checks out, I will bring you and Anna there. But at first, it's safer if I went."

  
Carl sighed and excused himself from the table while Anna have him a look that meant business, "Let Carol take care of the kids. I want to come with you."

  
He shook his head, "You need to stay here. Protect our kids. All of them."

  
"Carol can take care of Judith and Carl for a day. There are plenty of people to keep them safe here. And I...want to see a doctor, if I can...Please Rick?"

  
Rick sighed, the truth was, he wanted her to see a doctor, too. He wanted her to be in the best health and the baby to be safe, too. He could hardly say no to her.

  
"Ok. Let's take the kids to Carol. Round up Michonne, Glenn, Daryl and we'll got get this Paul from the infirmary. Carl won't be too happy."

  
And he wasn't, he stayed silent the whole walk to Carol's house.

  
Carol smiled at Rick and Anna's news, and agreed to keep an eye on Carl and Judith until they returned. Carl hugged them goodbye and promptly asked Carol if he could go find Enid.

  
Daryl appeared on Carol's porch and walked with them to the infirmary, where Michonne and Glenn were already waiting.

  
Anna looked small and pale, but she had her gun on her right hip and the small axe on her left. She was so determined to see a doctor, she was ready to mow down a hundred walkers.

  
Rick went into the infirmary at the clinic, where Paul was being held. The stranger merely smiled at him from his chair where he was tied.

  
"What's the good news, Rick?"

  
Rick's hands sat on his hips and he paced back and forth, "We're going to take you up on your offer. We're traveling to Hilltop today, to meet the leader there. But you will be tied up on the way there, and if you give me a reason...or even a bad feeling, I will kill you without a second thought."

  
Paul just smiled and nodded, "I understand, Rick."

  
Rick hauled Paul to his feet and led him out of the clinic where everyone was waiting. Paul smiled at them, almost giddily, "Hello everyone, I'll be your tour guide to the Hilltop Colony, I think you will find it to be quite a nice place."

  
Rick saw Daryl and Anna exchange a look and soon they were all headed to the van outside the clinic and he pushed Paul in the back while Glenn sat in the driver's seat and Rick took shotgun. Michonne, Daryl and Anna sat in the van's floor, all of their eyes glued to the big, bearded stranger. Before they left, Abraham knocked on Rick's window.

  
"I don't think you should be gone too long."

  
He nodded in agreement, "Take care of our people, Abraham."

* * *

 

For the first hour of their journey, Everyone remained silent, except for Paul, who was telling them where to go. Anna felt hot, and the slightest bit sick, but she had the feeling it was due to being pregnant and all the motion from sitting, untethered to the floor.

  
She hoped that she could meet a doctor at Hilltop, one that could give her a once over, a due date and an all clear.

  
Daryl leaned over and interrupted her thoughts by asking, "So d'ya like your ring?"

  
Anna felt herself tinge pink in the cheeks, "I should've known you had something to do with it. And yes, I love it. Thank you. Oh and thank you for Judy's shoes, too."

  
Michonne couldn't help but overhear, "So...there's a wedding soon?"

  
Anna nodded, "Yep."

  
"Congratulations." Michonne sounded livelier than she looked, because she had not let Paul out of her sights.

  
"Who are you marrying if you don't mind me asking?" Paul asked curiously.

  
Daryl poked him with the tip of his crossbow, "None of your business."

  
Paul just shrugged and laughed, "Woah, woah. I'm not being sinister. Just curious. Not too much happy news these days. But I think I figured it out. You're the boss's old lady, right?"

  
Anna didn't like to be called an "Old Lady"...even if it was just an euphemism. Before she could answer, Rick turned around from the front seat and and said, "She's mine."

  
Maybe it was just her hormones, but she didn't like being talked about in such sexist terms...she wasn't a piece of property.

  
So she introduced herself, "Paul, my name is Anna. Rick asked me to marry him this morning. I am looking forward to seeing Hilltop."

  
Paul smiled, "It's a pretty nice place. We have good people. I'm sure you will like it there, Anna...oh, and congratulations."

  
"Do you all have many doctors there?"

  
Paul nodded, "Three or four, I think. We have about two hundred people, total."

  
Anna felt her heart leap with hope. Three or four doctors? That meant three or four people that did OB/GYN rotations when they interned in medical school.

  
Maybe she could deliver there?

  
Soon they had reached the city limits of Washington D.C. and Anna saw all the monuments looming in the distance. It was almost nightfall, and from here the city looked ominous. She felt something move behind her and she turned around to see a familiar shape under some supplies and a blanket.

It was a person.

  
Anna nudged Daryl and pointed to the form, and his eyes widened and raised his buck knife as she pulled back the blanket. When she recognized the blue eyes that belonged to the stowaway, she gasped loudly.

  
"Carl!"

  
Rick turned around and saw his son in the van's floor, and Anna recognized the anger on his face.

  
"Glenn, pull over."

* * *

 

  
The van came to a grinding halt and Rick exited the van and leaned over and pulled Carl out by the scruff of his neck. Anna hopped out of the van and tried to calm Rick down she held up her hands to caution him.

  
"Rick, easy."

  
He released his son, but the anger remained, "You're supposed to be with Carol. How dare you disobey me."

  
Anna watched as Carl shrugged, "I can take care of myself. I want to see this place for myself."

  
"I wanted you at home with Judith."  
Rick's hands went to his hips and he began to pace.

Anna stepped closer to Rick, knowing that he was pissed, "He's here, there's nothing we can do about it. Let's keep moving."

  
Rick looked at Anna, his teeth gritted, and nodded, "Fine."

  
Before they could turn around, she saw Michonne, Daryl and Glenn all with weapons drawn.

Behind them, there were at least twenty walkers within arms length of them. Rick unsheathed his machete and pushed Anna behind him.

  
"You and Carl. In the van. Now."

  
Anna and Carl turned to follow his orders, and she tried to reach for her axe. Before she could get to it, a walker pinned her against the van, teeth chomping wildly at her face.

She pushed it over and over, hoping to get it to fall back. Suddenly, a force knocked the walker sideways and Anna was able to get a handle on the axe and bury the blade deep into the walker's rotting skull.

  
She looked to the sliding door of the van, where Paul was just grinned at her.

Before she could thank him, another walker lumbered toward her and she dispatched it quickly. Paul jumped from the van with his hands still tied and kicked and pushed walkers with his legs, setting them up to be shot or hacked or slashed by Anna, Carl, Rick, Daryl or Glenn.

  
Once the melee was over, the group stood catching their breath and looking at Paul in awe.

  
Anna huffed and puffed to get her breathing back to normal, until the intense smell of rotting hit her. She covered her mouth and ran behind the other side of the van, where she dropped to her knees and emptied out everything in her stomach.

  
A few minutes later, Rick came around the van and kneeled beside her and offered her a canteen and rubbed her neck.

  
"Smell got to you?"

  
She nodded and rinsed her mouth out with water and spit it out, "Yeah. Just hit me."

  
"You ok?"

  
Anna took a big gulp of water, "Yeah. I'm thinking that I'm gonna start calling him Jesus, too. He saved my ass, big time."

  
Rick chuckled and helped her up, "Thanks. For helping with Carl. I don't know what hit me."

  
Anna managed a half smile, "I suppose I should get used to it, huh? Let's get out of here."

 


	10. Chapter 10

Not long after the walker attack, Rick and his team stopped on the other side of D.C., in a clearing, to sleep while Michonne climbed on top of the van to keep watch. He curled up with Anna and his son, all the while keeping a close eye on Paul.

He was worried about Anna, after throwing up, she looked tired, ill, and hungry. Rick was being even more protective than usual, knowing that Anna was in a precarious condition.

She rested her head against his shoulder and saw the look on his face, "Stop it."

Rick shook his head, "I can't."

Anna smiled wanly, "I'll be ok until the morning. After Paul shows us around, I will ask to see a doctor. Stop worrying and rest, constable."

He kissed her forehead, and turned to look at his son. Carl was out like a light. Rick had been so angry at him...but knew that if he was in Carl's shoes...he would have done the same thing.

The Grimes DNA seemed to be laced with stubbornness.

A few hours later and with very little rest, they were back on the road. Within ten miles, they encountered a large amount of wreckage blocking the way. Glenn parked the van and sighed, "Everybody out. Let's do some pushing."

Everyone, including Paul, exited the van and Rick pulled Anna aside, "We've got this. Sit this one out, ok? You keep watch for us."

Anna shrugged, "I don't think I'm that fragile, but I'm not going to argue with you."

After an hour of pushing, the group made enough space for the van to get through and with one final heave, Paul fell down and landed in a soft spot of mud.

Rick helped him up, "I'm sorry, here."

As Rick held out his hand, Paul accepted and smiled, "Are you sorry about the mud or for tying my hands?"

"The mud. Tying you up is a precaution for my people."

Once back in the van, Rick asked, "How much further?"

Paul shrugged, "Twenty minutes. Maybe less."

As they rode in silence, Rick saw Anna tenderly touch her stomach with her left hand. And in that instant, he felt terrified. A baby. A wife and a new baby. Judith. Carl. So much to lose.

His reverie was broken by Paul, wanting to "use the little boy's room."

Glenn stopped the van and Rick walked Paul outside, "Here, let me help you."

Paul smiled and separated his hands, "I can help myself, Boss."

Rick reached for his gun, but Paul cautioned him, "Woah, Rick. I'm not going to hurt you."

"If you were able to free yourself, why did you pretend to still be restrained?"

"It was a test, you passed."

Rick shook his head, not following,"What?"

Paul sighed, "I see who you are Rick Grimes. With your son and your woman. You are the man we need."

"Need for what?"

Paul pointed up the hill, "Follow me in to the colony and you'll find out."

Rick shook his head, "I'm not going in there until you tell me what you're planning."

"Look, I could've killed you all in your sleep. But I didn't...take a leap of faith man. For you, your kids...your old lady and the baby she's carrying..."

"How did you-?"

Paul chuckled, "I know what pregnant women look like. She almost barfed up a lung everytime we got out of the van. Plus no one is ever that hyped to see a doctor."

Rick sighed, and realized Paul was right. Hilltop had things they needed and he would do whatever he could in trade to get medical help and more food for his town.

* * *

 

Rick nodded and slid back the van door, "Alright. We've made it."

Anna walked with the group up the hill, lagging a little being Rick and Michonne and Paul. They approached an amazingly tall wall made out of rough lumber.

Two men peered down at them, and one exclaimed, "Hey! Jesus!"

Paul waved, "I've got some people that Gregory will want to see."

"Can't do it. They look dangerous, and armed."

Paul sighed, "Kal, stand down! Trust me!"

Kal disappeared and soon the great gate swung open and they stepped through. Anna's head darted back and forth...so many people! Horses and cows and rows and rows of trailers surrounding one large mansion.

Anna watched as the gate came to a close behind them and she heard Carl whisper, "Wow."

"Wow is right, kid." Anna agreed.

Paul pointed out things as they walked towards the great house, "Families get their own trailers. We have animals, vegetables, fruits and grains. Everyone is a job and a purpose. We even have a blacksmith."

Anna felt she had walked out of a horror story, and into a fantasy novel. This place was like a castle keep, all it needed was a moat.

Once on the steps of the mansion, Paul turned to the group and smiled, "You guys stay here. I'm going to take Anna to see Harlan real quick. Then I will take the rest of you to Gregory."

Rick stepped forward protectively and Anna shooed him away, "It's fine, I'll go."

She squeezed Rick's hand gently and followed Paul through the door and down the hall, once they were out of earshot, Anna thanked him. "I'm assuming Rick told you?"

Paul shook his head, "Nah. I figured it out. No offense, but you have zero poker face. We've actually delivered babies here. It's scary, but hey, things like this happen. Harlan, I mean, Doctor Carson, is the guy you want to meet."

Paul led her to the back of the mansion, to a double door. He entered and when Anna stepped in, she found a large room covered in medical books and instruments with black and white tiled floors. "Harlan? You here?"

Anna saw a dark head pop up from behind a desk, "Hi Paul. What do you have here?"

Paul put a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Out scouting and found a community called Alexandria. Brought some of them back to meet Gregory. This is Anna, her old man is the leader and she has some medical questions."

She was starting to think that Paul was worse than Daryl at assigning terms and nicknames.

The doctor offered his hand to Anna, "I'm Dr. Harlan Carson. It's nice to meet you, Anna."

She shook his hand and Paul made to excuse himself, "Pardon me, I'm going to show the others to Gregory. Would you mind bringing Anna up once you're done?"

Dr. Carson nodded, "Sure."

Once Paul had shut the door behind him, the doctor turned to her, "Ok, let's start with why you needed to see a doctor?"

Anna sighed, "I might have to start from the very beginning. My husband and I tried unsuccessfully for years to have a baby. Shortly before the outbreak, I found out we had finally conceived. My husband died when Atlanta was bombed. I miscarried at thirteen weeks. I met Rick and two days ago I found out I am pregnant."

"I see. You're scared?"

"More like terrified." Dr. Carson was about her age, youngish and handsome.

He smiled at her, "Understandable. I have delivered three babies here. All healthy. But let's check you out."

He asked her age (35, and she detected a slight grimace), when her last period was (8 or 9 weeks before) and any sort of symptoms (constant nausea). Doctor Carson listened to her heart with a stethoscope, and used a cuff to find her blood pressure.

"I'm sure you know this, Anna...but 35 is a bit older than I'd like without the technology we had before, but that is neither here nor there. BP is good, heart rate good, overall healthy. I'd like to see you next month, if you can get here. And from my calculations...your baby should come in mid February."

He rummaged through a desk drawer and handed her a bottle of folic acid and a ziploc full of peppermints. He went to the shelf and pulled down a book..."What to Expect When You're Expecting."

"This is the Hilltop prenatal kit. I will need to get the book back when you're done."

She asked him if she could use a sack or bag and he found a canvas, military looking russack. Anna filled up the bag with her secret stash and thanked him for everything. "I will talk to Rick, I'm sure he will want to bring me back."

Dr. Carson opened the door and waved her through, "Let me take you to Gregory."

* * *

 

In the back of his mind, Rick was thinking about Anna, and how he should probably visit the doctor with her.

He remembered going to those appointments and holding Lori's hand while hearing Carl's heartbeat the first time and seeing their boy on screen during ultrasounds.

Days gone by.

None of that technology now.

When Paul introduced him and the group to Gregory, he reminded Rick of a mixture of a middle aged pencil pusher and a used car salesman. Sleazy.

For about twenty minutes, Gregory introduced himself to the Alexandrians and how Hilltop came about and the produce and food they had for trade. The conversation finally flipped to Alexandria and what they had to offer, when the talk drastically changed speeds thanks to Paul.

"We're not without our problems, though. There is a group of men, they call themselves The Wolves. They force us to pay tribute to their leader, Negan."

Rick looked confused, "Force you? How?"

Gregory rose from his chair, "By threatening to wipe out the colony."

"Surely you outnumber them?" Glenn asked.

The pencil pusher shrugged, "It wouldn't matter. They are crazy sons-of-bitches. They carve 'W's' in their foreheads and set up elaborate traps for fun."

Daryl and Rick exchanged a glance, knowing they have finally put a name to the creeps that set the warehouse trap. Michonne spoke up, "So when you say, pay tribute, what do you mean?"

Paul sighed heavily, "They collect half of everything we have. Produce, medicine, everything. Once a month. Negan doesn't get it...someone dies."

Just then, the door opened and Anna appeared with a dark haired man, and carrying an army russack over her shoulder.

Gregory turned and looked at her with what Rick could only refer to as leering. "Ah, what have we here?"

Paul nodded towards Anna, "This is Rick's old lady, Anna."

Gregory gave her a grossly inappropriate once over, "I see."

Anna practically hid behind Daryl after that uncomfortable introduction. Before the conversation could continue, a man burst through the doors, "Gregory! Ethan has returned, finally!"

Paul and Gregory exchanged a look and tore off downstairs, leaving Rick and the others to either stay, or see what the commotion was about. They followed Gregory, Paul and the other man and saw the doors to the mansion open and a dirty, roughed-up looking man on the grand steps.

The man fell to his knees, "David and Andy are dead. The Wolves have Crystal. They said they would give her back if I delivered a message."

Rick watched as Gregory walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, "What message, Ethan?"

There were tears in Ethan's eyes as he looked up to Gregory, and then he lunged and stabbed Gregory with a concealed blade. Gregory cried out in pain and blood spattered on to Ethan.

Without even thinking too hrd about it, Rick sprung into action, tackling Ethan and they grappled. Rick managed to get the blade away from him and turn it around. He pulled Ethan up by his jacket lapels and swiftly slit his throat.

There was an unsettling quiet, and when Rick stood up and turned around, he read the faces of his group, most were unfazed-jaded even, but Anna had her hands over her mouth.

The doctor who appeared with Anna was on the ground tending to Gregory with Paul and then he saw it...a crowd of Hilltop residents all stood staring in horror at him, covered in Ethan's blood.

He let the body slump to the ground and he asked his people in a confused tone, "What?"

* * *

 

Anna watched in horror as Ethan's body slumped to the ground. Rick had become hot-blooded and unpredictable when it came to strangers.

He stood on the mansion stairs and the crowd that surrounded him began to turn against him.

"You killed him!"

"Ethan was a good man! One of us!"

Anna was nervous that the Hilltop residents would start throwing stones, or would drag Rick somewhere to be drawn and quartered. Anna pulled Carl close as the two guards from the gate ran to the mansion carrying spears. They pointed the spears at Rick and Anna thought she was going to pass out.

"Put the gun down. Now!"

Rick cocked his gun defiantly, "You know, I don't think I will."

Anna wanted to step infront of Rick and try to talk him down, but Paul beat her to it, "Everybody just calm down!"

Suddenly, Dr. Carson's voice could be heard over the chaos, "I need to get him inside. I can't tend to him properly out here, he's bleeding out!"

The two guards run to the doctor's aid and help him indoors with Gregory's bloody and slumped form.

Anna asked Paul in a hushed tone, "Is Rick going to get into a bad spot with the people here? For killing Ethan?"

Paul shook his head, "No...things like this just doesn't happen here. They aren't used to such violence. Let's go inside. I'll tell you all you need to know."

Rick holstered his gun and took Anna by the hand. Her heart was racing and she felt nauseous. He lead the group into a sitting room off the main hall of the mansion.

Rick didn't sit, instead he stood, his hands on his hips, "Who is this Negan...exactly. Give it to me straight? How do we get this Crystal back?"

Paul shook his head, "If Negan and the Wolves have Crystal, she is already dead...As soon as those walls went up, Negan came sniffing around with his men. Gregory struck a deal with him...more like he just rolled over...he isn't what I wanted in a leader, but the people like him. The Wolves get exactly half of what we have...and in turn they keep the area free of the dead. Killers through and through and totally depraved."

Rick shook his head, "He just shows up and makes threats and you give them half of everything? How many men does he have?"

"No one really knows. If Negan feels like something is off, or just feels like messing with us, the team we send to pay tribute is beaten or worse...like what you saw today. He likes to play God."

Daryl interjected, "What if we took care of you all, ya know, if we protected Hilltop from these assholes...could we get enough supplies and stuff in trade?"

Paul looked thoughtful, "You'd offer that?"

Daryl looked around to the group, Michonne looked unhappy and Glenn shrugged. Anna felt fear rising in her belly, and worried about her soon to be husband, the two kids...and her unborn child. She didn't want to offer that, it wasn't worth the lives of her loved ones.

Rick shrugged, "Maybe. We wouldn't even need half of your supplies. Just enough to get us by."

Paul reached for the door, "That could be a deal. I'm going to check on Gregory. You guys can stay here tonight. I'm assuming you all are hungry, I will have someone bring you some food."

Dinner ended up being a hearty vegetable stew...the best food Anna had in a long while. She watched as Rick, Daryl, Glenn and Michonne discussed the situation at length. Anna laid at the end of the couch and popped one of the peppermints into her mouth.

She really wanted to read the book Dr. Carson had given her, but could not run the risk of giving herself away. Carl was fast asleep in a recliner, and she found herself missing little Judith badly. She hoped her own baby could thrive in this world, just as Judith had.

When the discussion was over, Rick sauntered to the couch, still splattered in Ethan's blood. "Hey there Sweet Thing."

He sat next to Anna and pulled her feet into his lap and whispered,"Wanna tell me what the Doctor said today?"

Anna smiled a small smile, "That 35 is older than I should be to have a baby without the medicine we used to have, but that I am otherwise healthy. I'm due in February. He'd like to see me again in a month."

Rick nodded, "Probably a good idea."

They sat in silence for a moment, and then Anna spoke up, "I know it probably doesn't matter...but I don't know how I feel about your offer to Paul, the protection. I don't have a good feeling about these Wolves..."

He shook his head and took her hands in his, "Anna...these guys are talkers...bullies. This trade is good for the town...for you...and our family. Food, clothes, doctors..."

Anna nodded, "I know. I do. I don't trust Gregory, either. Paul and Dr. Carson seem solid though."

She looked at Rick, and realized just what all of this had done to him. There was the man that wanted better for his people, the sweet and nurturing and hopeful man. Then there was the hair triggered, feral side. It was like Jekyll and Hyde...and she loved all of him, even if Hyde unnerved her.

Rick squeezed her hands, "This place gives me hope, Anna. I can't explain how happy I feel right now. Knowing that there are three other places operating and growing...that we can work out a trade route and barter with others...maybe we can get Alexandria on its feet and make it strong? Our kids will have a chance. Our new little one can grow up in a place where we don't have to just survive...we can live."

Anna nodded, she hoped for that, too. She hoped that the baby she was carrying would thrive and be born healthy, and that her body would not betray her. She would love to just "live." Raise their kids to be wise and loving...but capable to take care of themselves.

"Do you think we can ever live in a world without walkers again? That there may be an end to this?"

Rick nodded, "Everything changes, right? Even though it's bad...it can get better. I have to believe it will."

Anna felt a smile creep across her lips and she switched positions so she could rest her head on his shoulder. Rick wrapped his arms around her and his hands rested protectively at her stomach.

She was asleep in minutes, feeling hope wash over her.

* * *

 

Rick woke up at dawn, hearing an actual rooster crow. Anna was asleep in his arms, and he still wondered at how his life had gone from what it was...to what it had become.

He wondered what the new baby would look like...a mash-up of himself and Anna. He thought about how lovely Anna would look with a round belly, with their baby swimming inside.

How could he not feel hopeful?

He looked around the room, Carl was still sleeping and Michonne, Glenn and Daryl were gone. Rick gently eased Anna back on the couch, and she instinctively turned over and curled up by facing the back of the couch.

Rick crept out of the room and out the mansion's main doors to find the rest of his group on the grand porch, watching the Hilltop residents work their respective jobs. "Morning, guys."

Glenn sighed, "I know this sounds ridiculous. But I really like it here. There are more jobs and opportunities."

Daryl shrugged, "I s'ppose. But they got a chicken shit leader and zero defenses."

"I'm with Daryl," Michonne stated plainly.

Rick heard the front door open behind him and he turned to see Dr. Carson motioning to him to come in, "Gregory is awake. He'd like to see you."

He nodded and followed Dr. Carson in, and he lead him upstairs to the room where Gregory was being tended to. He was in a lot of pain and he had lost a lot of blood.

"Rick, come in. Please sit. Jesus told me about the possible trade you offered-Agh."

He saw Gregory wince in pain and this hand went to his side. Rick sat in the chair next to the bed and said, "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. But yes, we might be able to offer some kind of protection for produce and supplies."

"Everyone is too scared of Negan and his Wolves. Are you certain?"

Rick nodded, "My group was on the road for a better part of a year. We met many people and groups like Negan's...all bark and threats. They are full of hot air."

"How much would you need in supplies?" Rick shrugged, "Certainly not half. We have about 25 people currently in Alexandria."

Gregory nodded, "You have a deal, Rick. Have Jesus load you up."

In the afternoon, Paul helped Rick, Glenn and Daryl load the van up with supplies. It was enough food, supplies and clothes to get them through the next month. Rick figured when he brought Anna back to see Dr. Carson, he would get the next haul.

Paul smiled, "Thank you, Rick. For everything."

"I should be thanking you, this is more than generous."

"When all of this with Negan goes down, you can count on me and Kal to come with you."

Rick nodded and extended his hand to Paul, "Thank you, Paul."

Paul shook his hand and smiled, "I guess I'll see you soon, now that Anna is a patient of Dr. Carson's."

"Yep, next month."

"She's a good woman."

Rick nodded, "I tend to agree."

Everyone said their goodbyes, and as they rode off in their van, Rick felt damn near optimistic about the deals that had been made in the past two days. Another community to align with, regular supplies and food for his people, and a doctor to help Anna through her pregnancy.

Once they secured Alexandria from vulnerability, a new way of life could begin.

An hour into their journey, a familiar buzzing sound was near the bumper of their vehicle. Motorcycles. The van lurched forward as two bumps came upon the bumper.

Glenn asked from behind the wheel, "Try to outrun them?"

Rick shook his head, "Stop the van. Have weapons at the ready."

Anna caught him by the wrist, "What if..."

Rick shook his head, "No time. Stay behind me."

His group exited the van, weapons drawn and ready, to find four men on motorcycles aiming rifles at them. One of them demanded, "Negan demands whatever supplies are in your van. All of it."

Rick shook his head, "Which one of you is Negan?"

One by one, the men all said, "I'm Negan."

Rick felt the fury rising. These bullies would not work them the same way they worked Gregory. He signaled to Daryl and he released an arrow into the eye socket of one of the Wolves. Michonne slashed two men's heads off with her deadly blade, and only one Wolf was left standing.

Rick stepped close to him and snarled, "I have a message for you...to give to Negan."

Rick looked around to the faces of his group and saw Anna holding Carl close to her, and continued what he was saying, "The Hilltop Colony is under our protection. The Wolves are no longer needed. So now, Negan will start paying tribute to us. Half of everything you have."

He kicked the last man towards his motorcycle and watched as he drove off. Roamers had been lured to the area by noise and fresh blood. Rick watched as they descended on the bodies, the rage still teeming inside of him.

A small, cool hand took him by the arm and he turned to see Anna, worry in her eyes for him, "Let's go, Rick. Let's get back home."

* * *

 

Anna had never been happier to be home than when they passed through the gates of Alexandria. They stopped by the food stores to drop off the Hilltop supplies and then made their way to Carol's to get Judith.

Carol was livid at Carl for sneaking off on her watch, but told him she would've probably done the same thing. Judith was beside herself to see all of them.

She squealed, clapped, patted their faces and said "Day-ee" over and over. Anna looked at Rick, smiling brightly at his happy, precious daughter.

But his rage...his rage is what worried her.

She saw it on the steps with Ethan...and again with the motorcycle men. She had seen it many times before...but now that she was pregnant, it unnerved her.

Anna didn't want to lose him to darkness. She had told him she loved the most human parts of him, the person he truly was. And all of that still held true.

But that didn't mean she wasn't worried.

When they got home, Anna made a quick dinner of oatmeal and applesauce and she kissed Judith and Carl goodnight and excused herself upstairs for a shower and bed. She took one of the folic acid pills in the bathroom and put the bottle in the medicine cabinet and put on one of Rick's t-shirts and a pair of boxers...both of them felt tighter.

Once in the bedroom, she dug out the book Dr. Carson had given her and began to read. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" seemed to be a rite of passage. All of her Junior League and D.A.R. friends referenced it, but she never had a chance to.

All it took was the outbreak, apocalypse and everyone dying for her to earn her rite.

At eight weeks pregnant, her baby was the size of a raspberry. It already had eyelids, mouth and a nose. Anna smiled to herself, hoping the Baby had Rick's eyes. Even so, she felt like thinking that far ahead was a jinx.

Suddenly, the door opened and Rick came in and stripped his dirty shirt off his back and nodded to the book, "Did Dr. Carson give you that?"

"Yep. The book, a bottle of folic acid and peppermints for morning sickness...which for me is just constant, all day sickness...the baby is the size of a raspberry...next week it will be the size of a green olive."

Rick crawled into bed beside her and placed his hand on her stomach and kissed her neck, "Any other changes?"

Anna sighed, "Well...I'm finding clothes are getting snug on me. And my boobs hurt and they are huge."

Rick chuckled, "I've noticed that...not necessarily a bad thing."

She slapped his arm playfully, "I stepped right in to that one."

"I've noticed something...today and yesterday...even before...did I scare you?"

Anna felt herself tearing up and she shook her head, "No...it's just that...your rage...I don't recognize you sometimes. I know what you are doing what is best, but it's like the real you disappears."

Rick remained silent for a moment and then shook his head, "That's only the me I have to be to protect my own."

"I know. I'm not scared of you, baby. I just wish...you didn't have to be that man so often. I wish the world was different, but I know it won't be for a good while. I love you, no matter what. Always."

Rick kissed her softly on the mouth, "I still can't believe how much life has changed...it got bad, now it's better. I can't wait to see what our baby looks like. You've been my saving grace...I thought I was too far gone. But now..."

She put a finger over his lips and pulled him closer to her.

* * *

 

The next morning, Rick awoke to Anna's side of the bed being empty. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got up to find her in the bathroom, resting her head on the toilet seat.

"Need me to get you some water? Or tea?"

Anna nodded wordlessly, she looked like hell. He didn't remember Lori looking that green with Carl or Judith, but he knew every pregnancy was different for every woman.

After fetching her a glass of water and returning upstairs, Anna had gotten up and was brushing her teeth. "Thanks baby."

It drove Rick wild when she called him that. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She rinsed her mouth out and took a sip from the glass, "What is the plan for the day?"

"Call a meeting. Tell our people about Hilltop and the trade we've made..."

Three gunshots rang out and he and Anna both froze.

Carl stumbled out of his room and into the hallway, "Dad..." "Stay in the house with Anna. Lock the doors."

Rick sprang into action and retrieved his gun holster from the bedside, attaching it to his hips as he ran. When he reached the gate, he saw Carol, Daryl, Michonne, Morgan, Tara and Rosita all with weapons trained.

Outside the gate was a pack of Negan's Wolves. One held Eugene hostage with Abraham's gun, while Abraham was unmoving on the ground. When Rick moved closer, he noticed the horrible scarring on one half of the hostage taker's face.

The man pushed Eugene down on his knees and pushed the gun into his forehead, "Let us in, or he gets it."

Rick shook his head, "Why should I?"

The scarred man laughed, "Boy, you really don't know who you're messing with! Negan didn't take too kindly to your message. Had you not left one of our men alive, we wouldn't have found you so easily. Now let us in, before things get hell of a lot worse."

Before Rick could respond, Eugene lunged at the man and bit his crotch. His scarred face howled in pain, and Eugene would not let go.

A firefight ensued and many of the Wolves were picked off. Eugene let go of the man and managed to crawl away while the attackers retreated. Rick ran to the gate to help Eugene in, and Daryl came to help him with Abraham.

They picked up Abraham, and when they turned him over, they found him dead. An arrow had entered through the back of his head and through his eye socket.

"Goddammit! No!"

Rick felt that familiar rage boil in his blood, "There is no way they are getting away with this..."

He and Daryl ran off in the direction that the men fled and realized that they were long gone. They returned to Abraham's body and pulled him in toward the gate. Michonne let them in and Rosita dropped to her knees and wailed.

Not it only had he lost a friend, but they all had lost a valuable asset in Abraham. He was all strength, stamina and muscle.

As Rosita cried over Abraham, Rick saw Anna approaching with Glenn and Maggie not far behind. She wore her gun on her hip and her eyes were wide in horror.

She ran to him, and they got caught up in an emotional embrace. He hugged her tightly, willing himself not to cry. He felt her heart racing in her chest and she sobbed, "Abraham?"

Rick nodded, "The Wolves. They found us..." "What are we going to do? He was one of our strongest?"

"We grieve. Bury our dead. Then we avenge him."

* * *

 

Anna sat in the makeshift pew in Gabriel's church. It had been so long since she had prayed. She didn't know what she believed in anymore...but if God was real, she wanted to talk to him.

She prayed for Abraham. She prayed for Rick. She prayed for Carl, Judith, and the fragile little baby still growing in her belly. She prayed for her parents and for Phillip and the baby she lost.

The funeral service had begun and she sat next to Rick and Carl while holding Judith in her lap. Rosita was inconsolable, though Tara and Eugene tried their best. Daryl and Carol and Michonne and Morgan all stood along the walls, listening to the same passage from Revelation that Gabriel used all too often.

Anna knew Rick wanted to go back to Hilltop, to ask for more men for protection. She did not want him to leave. She didn't want him to go without her, which she knew he certainly did not want her to make the journey after the severity of what had just happened.

When the service was over, Rick led Anna by the hand back to their house, where Aaron, Eric, Daryl, Carol, Michonne, Morgan, Maggie, Glenn and Carl all followed. They were making a plan, as best they could.

Anna sat in the kitchen and fed Judith on her lap, when Carol came in and got a glass of water from the sink.

"How are you feeling?" Carol asked.

"Sick. There isn't a time when I don't feel sick. And now the sick is mixed with dread. I have a very bad feeling about all of this...and I'm trying to figure out how to convince Rick to letting me go to with him."

Carol chuckled and shook her head, "That's a fools errand, Anna. You know he won't let you go after what happened today."

"I know."

"He won't put you and the baby in danger."

Anna sighed, "The thing is we could be in as much danger here than on the road. Like sitting ducks."

Carol shrugged, "I can't argue there. But then again, you aren't trying to convince me."

Anna heard the meeting break up in the living room and Rick came in to find them, "Carol, tell Sasha to be in high alert in the tower. Make sure she has enough food for a few days. Michonne, Morgan, Carl, Glenn and I are going to make the trip. Daryl is in charge while I'm gone."

"You're taking Carl?" Anna asked.

"Yes, partly to stop him from running off again. Boy has a mind of his own."

Carol made her exit from the kitchen, gauging where the conversation was going. Anna stood up and handed Judith off to Carol before she entered the living room, "I want to go. I want to help. Dr. Carson and Paul like me. I could even help convince Gregory."

Rick rested his hands on his hips and shook his head, "Absolutely not. You're staying here with Judith where it's safe."

Anna fired back, "You know this place isn't that safe right now. They know where we are. I know I can help. Let me come with you. I feel safer with you. "

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him roughly, "Please, Rick?"

His hands wandered to her ass and pulled her to him tightly,"You think you can change my mind this way? Is this how you'll convince Hilltop to send more men?"

Anna shook her head, "Oh no, this persuasion is solely reserved for you."

"You're staying here, Anna."

* * *

 

When everyone had left, Anna gave Judith a bath and put her down for the night while Rick and Carl prepared for their journey the next morning. She hadn't spoken to Rick since the attempted seduction in the kitchen.

He sat in their bedroom, cleaning his gun. When she appeared after tending to Judith she didn't talk to him. Instead she undressed and got ready for bed without a word. Her yellow hair had grown longer and was halfway down her back. When she wiggled out of her black sundress, her silhouette was captured in the bedside lamp light.

Anna's belly showed no sign of pregnancy, but her breasts were fuller and she looked like a centerfold in the nudie magazines he and his friends would sneak from their father's stash as young teenagers.

Jesus Christ, he had to have her.

Rick acted on impluse and took Anna's waist from behind, and she gasped in surprise when he spun her around and kissed her passionately. Anna kissed him back, her hands busy unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his belt buckle.

She was warm, soft and sexy as hell...he needed to be inside her, very badly.

Before he knew it, her back was pressed against the bedroom wall, one leg wrapped around his hip and her hands on his ass, guiding him into her.

They collapsed, spent on the bed a while later.

"You're just so goddamned beautiful," was all he could muster.

Anna chuckled, "Is this your way of apologizing?"

Rick nodded, "I suppose so."

Anna placed her hand on his chest, where she could feel his heart, "Please let me come with you. Please let me fight alongside you. Let me help. I know I can be of use."

Rick nodded, "If you go, you fight and do as I say."

Anna smiled, "That's a deal, constable."

* * *

 

The next morning, the group loaded up their van to make way to Hilltop. Anna was sure to bring some peppermints, a few folic acid pills and a book so that she and Carl could read. She chose "To Kill a Mockingbird."

She sat in the back of the van with Carl, Michonne and Morgan as Glenn and Rick took driver's seat and shotgun, respectively.

The car ride seemed unending, and Rick even remarked that he was sure the Hilltop was closer than what they had already traveled. By dusk, it was apparent that they would not make it to their destination that night. Michonne took the first watch, and then Rick.

Anna felt him get up and leave and knew then, that something was not right. The sound of Rick's surprised cry awoke her. Everyone stumbled out of the van, weapons drawn, to find fifty of the wolves surrounding them...and Rick being held on his knees...a rope noosed around his neck.

Anna felt her heart pounding while the men sneered and laughed at their panic. The men forcefully lined them up and pushed them to their knees. Anna was in between Carl and Glenn. Rick looked furious, they could not win this battle. They were too outnumbered.

"Aw man, they're about to piss their pants aren't they?"

A large chested man, clean shaven and with slicked back dark hair laughed loudly and carried a baseball bat over his shoulder, "Which one of you is the leader?"

One of the men pointed at Rick, and Anna recognized him as the man Rick had sent back with the message...the one he left alive. The man with the bat stooped over and met Rick nose to nose, "Rick, right? Well, I'm Negan. And I don't appreciate you killing my men and giving me ultimatiums. For that you all have to fucking pay..."

Anna took Carl by the hand, she was terrified.

Negan held up his bat, "See this here? Her name is Lucille. She's a beauty. She's covered with barbed wire for a little extra love. I'm going to beat the holy fuck out of one of you as payment. It's just the matter of who it will be..."

Negan walked in front of each of them and held Lucille above their heads, like the bat was going to make the choice. He wanted to make Rick watch, he thought Michonne was too hot, he passed over Glenn without a second look, when he came to Anna and Carl, he stopped for a moment, "Holy shit, look at this piece! Wouldn't mind her as one of my wives...listen kitten, you ever want to live in the lap of luxury...you can have pretty clothes basically anything you'd want, but you'd have to be with only me...you think about it and I will see you soon...I can assure you you'd be satisfied in every way..."

Anna wanted to spit in his face, rip the teeth out of his shit eating grin. But instead she remained unmoved, a stern look on her face. She squeezed Carl's hand and Negan moved on to him, "Ain't no fucking way she's your mom. And I'm not killing a kid...so..."

Negan moved through the line again, Lucille hovering lethally above their heads. Anna met eyes with Rick and mouthed "I love you."

* * *

 

Rick nodded and felt all of the anger and rage boiling up in him. Negan better not touch his son or Anna and the baby. He didn't like how helpless he felt. He didn't like not being able to find a loophole or an upper hand.

Negan stopped infront of Glenn and Morgan, "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo..."

Lucille stopped infront of Morgan and Negan exclaimed, "Boys! We have a winner! Bring him forward!"

Two men picked picked Morgan up by his arms, Rick tried to protest but one of The Wolves pulled the noose around his neck back.

Negan just smiled as Michonne attempted to fight, "If any of you try and stop this, we will kill all of you. Now. You have no fight. Just sit back and relax."

Rick heard Morgan trying to talk Negan out of it, trying to reason with him...and instead Negan thumped Lucille against Morgan's skulll.

It made a sickening sound. Morgan's eye popped out...and Negan continued to strike.

Soon all of them on their knees were crying.

Rick turned to see Anna, holding Carl to her...crying and covered in Morgan's blood.

There was nothing left of Morgan's skull...it was spread out on the ground. Negan stood straight and had a pleased smile on his face. "That was fucking awesome. Did you see how his eye popped out?"

Rick could not take it any longer, "I'm going to kill you."

Negan smiled again, "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you?"

Rick hissed louder, "I'm going to kill you. Maybe not today, but I will."

"I don't think you will, Rick. They best shot is that you have a knife now and jam it in my chest...and then my wolves kill every one of you...but they will save you for the last so you can watch those you love die..."

Negan sighed and started to pace, "Now here is what is going to happen. From now on... half of everything in Aexandria is mine. Every. Fucking. Thing. We will come in one week and collect the first tribute. You don't pay up, I take something of yours...or kill someone of yours. It's your choice."

Rick tried to stand, but Negan handed off Lucille to one of the men and punched him in the face. Negan beat him with his bare hands and Rick heard Anna crying.

His lungs hitched and he felt himself shutting down.

Negan laughed and kicked Rick one last time in the gut, "One week, Rick."

* * *

 

Negan and his men retreated on motorcycles and Anna ran to Rick's side, "Baby? Stay with me."

She helped him to his feet, just in time for Michonne to pummel him with her fist back to the ground, "Coward!"

Anna couldn't believe what she had just seen. She wanted to vomit so badly, but knew Rick's safety was more important. She was shocked by Michonne's outburst. Anna tried to calm everyone down, tried to keep conscious... Before she knew it, Carl had pulled a gun on Michonne.

 "Don't touch my Dad."

Anna left Rick with Glenn and and stepped infront of Michonne, trying to get Carl to lower the gun, "Carl...you're upset. Michonne is upset...this is what that bastard wants us to do. He wants to rip us apart. Michonne loves you. Please put the gun down."

Carl's eyes glassed over with tears and he dropped his arm. Anna ran to him and hugged him close. "Let's be strong. Help me with your dad, ok?"

When they reached Rick, he looked broken and bloody and deflated...he tried to steady his breathing. Anna and Carl helped him to his feet he looked dazed, "We need to get to Hilltop."

Anna nodded, "Ok. Let's get everyone in the van first."

They loaded up Rick in the back of the van, and Anna attempted to help Michonne and Glenn with what was left of poor Morgan. She found two blankets and some rope...but as soon as she got close, the smell of blood and insides overwhelmed her and sent her back behind the van to vomit.

For almost twenty minutes she emptied what little was in her stomach and cried over what had just happened. Negan had broken all of them with a disgusting and sickening thud. As she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, someone held a canteen infront of her face.

She accepted it and stood up, Michonne crossed her arms over her chest. "You're knocked up."

Anna took a swig of water and nodded, "Yeah."

"Does he know?"

"Yeah."

Michonne shook her head, "You shouldn't be here...but thank you. Back there, with Carl."

Anna felt lost for words, "I just said what was true."

Michonne nodded, "We should probably get going."

Before she turned to leave, Anna threw her arms around Michonne and hugged her close.

It took a minute, but Michonne hugged her back and let out a strangled sob. 


	11. Chapter 11

  
Anna sat in the back in the van and held Rick's head in her lap. He had been talking, but not a lot of it made sense. She felt so sick, she couldn't stop playing that horrifying moment over and over in her head. Morgan had come so far and had found Rick, despite all of the odds.

  
And he was gone. Murdered. Infront of all of them...and they had been so helpless.

  
Rick looked up at her, "Are you...baby...ok?"

  
He was fading in and out of consciousness.

Anna nodded, "I'm fine. Sleep, Rick. Save some strength for Hilltop."

  
She was far from fine. She wanted to see Dr. Carson...after throwing up, she began cramping. If she lost this baby...she would kill Negan herself.

  
Carl sat close to her, withdrawn, "You think he'll be ok?"

  
Anna sighed, "God, I hope so."

  
Rick whispered lowly, his eyes shut, "Forgive me..."

  
Anna's heart broke all over again. She laid her head close to his and whispered, "You're forgiven...you did everything you could. I love you...to hell and back."

  
She saw a faint smile flicker across his face.

  
They reached Hilltop at dawn, Kal recognized them and let the van in. Paul welcomed them with a wide grin, but once he saw Rick hobbling out of the van, bruised and bloodied...the smile disappeared.

  
"I didn't think I'd see you so soon, Rick."

  
"We've been attacked three times since then, the Wolves...and on the way here...by Negan himself and fifty men. We lost two of our strongest."

  
Anna saw the color drain from Paul's face, "Jesus Christ."

  
Carl and Michonne asked to bury Morgan at Hilltop, while Rick demanded to see Gregory. Glenn helped Rick to the mansion and Anna followed with Paul.

  
Paul looked at her sadly, "You're covered in blood."

  
She looked down and realized that her clothes, arms and torso were stained a vivid brown-red. Anna couldn't imagine what her face probably looked like, "None of it is mine. Listen, Paul...would it be possible for Rick and I to see Dr. Carson after we meet with Gregory? He was beaten badly...and I..."

  
"The baby?"

  
Anna nodded solemnly, "Yeah. I've been cramping since...since what happened with Negan..."

Paul shook his head, "Not even a question, Anna. I will take you to him."

* * *

 

Rick's head felt fuzzy, light. He held on to Glenn but could manage to walk. Every fiber, bone and muscle in his body was weak. He heard Anna talking lowly to Paul behind him and heard her mention needing a doctor. He would never stop until Negan was dead at his own hands if Anna lost the baby.

  
The four of them barged into Gregory's office and the older man look terrified, "Rick?"

  
Rick let go of Glenn and stuck a finger accusingly in Gregory's face, "You didn't tell me everything. This Negan, we met him. He murdered our friend in front of us. We were on our way here to ask for men to help protect Alexandria after The Wolves attacked..."

  
Gregory's eyes widened, "You met Negan? You didn't tell him about our arrangement, did you?"

  
Rick could barely contain his rage. He lunged at Gregory and knocked him to the ground with his fist. Rick straddled him and continued to punch, and picked him up by his lapels, "He had fifty men with him last night...and then more attacked us...he has more people than you let on..."

  
Gregory's mouth was bleeding, "I didn't think he was real...I thought those punks made him up to scare us..."

  
Rick felt strong arms pull him off of Gregory, and Paul said, "I'm taking Rick to Dr. Carson. Then I am going back to Alexandria with them."

  
Paul, Rick, Glenn and Anna gathered in the hallway and Rick noticed Anna and her filthy face, red and bloodshot eyes and the fear that had overtaken her countenance. She was holding strong...and he knew it was for him.

  
Glenn sighed, "I'm going to help Carl and Michonne. Meet up at the van?"

  
Rick nodded, but said nothing. He took Anna by the hand and he leaned on Paul. Together they went downstairs to where Dr. Carson was. When they entered, he looked up and looked shocked, "Jesus, what happened?"

  
Paul gave the doctor a quick synopsis and Anna excused herself, wanting to clean up a bit. Rick sat on the chair, and he was examined, stitched and decontaminated.

  
"You have a pretty serious concussion, Rick. I can give you some painkillers for the cuts and bruises. I would advise taking it easy, if you can."

  
He shook his head, knowing that he could not rest.

  
Anna appeared, her hair wet and skin clean...her clothes were still covered in Morgan's blood. She watched as finished up with Rick and then he turned to her.

  
"Are you ok, Anna?"

  
She looked nervous, "I haven't eaten...and after Morgan...I threw up. I have been cramping. I'm worried I'm going to miscarry..."

  
Rick felt his hands ball into fists, as a mixture of rage and worry washed over him. Dr. Carson sat Anna down and shook his head, "Have you had any bleeding? Spotting?"

  
"No."

  
Rick watched helplessly as Dr. Carson examined Anna and after ten minutes the doctor smiled, "I think you're in good shape. I want you to make sure you eat and drink regularly. You need to stay hydrated with the morning sickness and you need to get enough nutrients for you and the baby. It's imperative, ok?"

  
She nodded her head and he continued, "I still want to see you in a month, and I am going to make sure Paul gets you enough to eat before you head back."

  
Anna agreed and thanked him, and then walked over to Rick and helped him up. They walked out into the front of the mansion and he motioned for her to stop, "Anna. I need to take better care of you."

  
She touched his face sweetly, "Rick, I could say the same thing for you. I love you. Let's go home."

* * *

 

Before they left, Paul brought plenty of food for them, and they all stood together, mourning in front of Morgan's fresh grave. Anna wept openly, not being able to stop repeating the brutal scene over and over in her head. In all of this, over the past two years, she had not ever felt that close to death...she felt sure that Negan was going to kill them all.

  
Anna was glad Paul was coming back with them. Rick slept all the way back and Anna ate three apples and almonds and hunk of cheese that Paul was quick to tell her was made and aged by a family in Hilltop who took care of the dairy cows.

  
She hadn't had cheese in almost two years. It was better than sex.

  
Almost.

  
Anna and Carl got all the way to the part where Scout wore the ham costume in "To Kill a Mockingbird" by the time they reached Alexandria. Michonne even read a chapter aloud. It was the most Anna had ever heard her speak. She had a lovely voice, rich and warm.

  
When they had reached the ditches around the walls, Anna nudged Rick awake and he looked disoriented and then focused in on her. She smiled, "We're home."

  
"Oh shit," Glenn commented from behind the wheel.

  
Anna turned around to see cars plowed into the walls and the gate and Daryl out front burning bodies. Rick sat up taller, and Anna saw the rage flash across his face. Before she could stop him, Rick slid the van door open and hopped out while they were still moving.

  
Paul helped Anna out of the van, and she couldn't believe the war zone she had entered. Daryl gave them the run down... Alexandria was attacked roughly at the same time as they were on the road. No Wolves got in, though they tried.

  
The residents banded together and killed many of the Wolves. There was no loss of life for Alexandria.

  
And Daryl was quite proud of what he had captured; the scarred man was currently tied up and locked in the infirmary, with Rosita watching him.  
While Rick recounted their journey, Daryl looked saddened by Morgan's fate.

  
"Shit. Negan is a big problem."

  
Rick nodded, "I made a mistake and underestimated him. Now all of our lives are on the line. I need Aaron and Eric to take a supply inventory and so that we have enough when they come next week. We need to be ready."

  
Daryl nodded, "What about Ol' Scarface?"

  
"I will talk to him."

  
Anna interjected, "Tomorrow. If you are making decisions for all of us, you heard Dr. Carson. Rest."

  
He shook his head, "Anna..."

  
She turned to Daryl, "Double up patrols. Keep our guest under close watch. Once the supply inventory is done, we call a meeting for residents. Glenn...show Paul to a house, set him up for his stay. We're going to get Judith from Carol. We meet in the clinic at dawn."

  
Glenn nodded in agreement and Daryl smiled wryly, "Missed ya, Sparky."

  
"Thanks Daryl. It's good to be home."

  
Carl, Anna, Rick and Michonne walked to Carol's house. When Anna saw Judith, she began to cry. The encounter with Negan had left her traumatized and doubtful that she would ever see her sweet face again.

  
She kissed Judith's cheeks as Carol got debriefed on the trip. She couldn't wait to get home, if only for a few hours. Carol offered for Michonne to stay the night with her, and she would make dinner. It made Anna happy to hear Michonne accept.

  
Anna hugged and Carol goodbye and agreed to meet in the morning.

  
When they arrived home, Carl went upstairs to shower and Anna and Rick sat in the kitchen with Judith. Anna emptied out the russack which Paul filled with food for the road home. She made them mugs of tea and bowls of instant grits along with the cheese and apples.

  
Rick ate slowly as Anna fed Judith. He laughed lowly to himself, "You never stop surprising me...back there...giving orders...good orders."

  
"I was just channeling you. This is me taking care of you...so you can give orders. Once Carl comes down, he can eat, you can shower, I will shower last and Judith can sleep with us tonight. The Grimes house is going to take care of themselves tonight...so we can fight another day."

  
"Jesus Christ, I love you."

  
Anna couldn't help but smile, "I know."

* * *

 

Rick played with Judith after he showered and dressed for bed, and he waited for Anna to come to join them. When she finally did, her skin was pink, clean and her hair was in a long, damp braid. She wore his shirt and her sweats...and she couldn't look more beautiful.

  
Anna shut the door behind her and whispered, "Did you take your meds?"

  
He nodded and a sleepy Judith rested her head against his chest, "Yeah."

  
Anna crawled in bed with them and sighed, "Even if it's just for this very moment...I'm so happy to be home."

  
Rick agreed, too much had occurred in the past four days. He wished everything could be so peaceful as they were that moment. Anna was safe, their baby still growing in her belly, Carl sleeping in his room and Judith happy and loved. He saw the ruby ring on her left hand and couldn't wait any longer.

  
"After the inventory, after dealing with the prisoner...but before Negan comes...I want us to go to Gabriel. I want him to marry us. I don't want to wait."

  
Anna nodded, "Ok."

  
"I want you to be Anna Grimes."

  
"I want that, too." She kissed Judith's forehead and then his lips, "I love my little family."

  
Rick touched her belly and laughed, "It's not going to be little for long."

  
"I still can't believe it. I can't stop thinking what our baby could look like. I want it to have your eyes." Anna looked wistful and he laughed.

  
"Ah, but I wanted it to have your green ones...what about names? Any you like? Carl named Judith..."

  
She shrugged, "I haven't really considered...I guess...I'm worried about jinxing us."

  
He tipped her chin up to meet eyes with him...he wished he could tell her accurately how incredibly lucky he felt to have her...and how honored he was to marry her and be with her when she had their baby...he knew how badly she wanted a child of her own...and he would not allow anything to come in between her and that dream. He would take good care of her...keep her safe. His words always seemed to fail him.

  
"Our baby is strong. It's a fighter...just like you."

* * *

  
The next morning, Rick and Anna met Carol, Daryl, Michonne and Paul at the clinic...to attempt to get their prisoner to talk...and also, what to do with him.

Before they went inside, Rick looked around to the group and sighed.

  
"I'll be honest. I'm not sure what to do. I greatly underestimated these people. I am open to suggestions. But I am thinking of letting him go."

  
Daryl looked displeased and the rest looked unmoved. Anna nodded, she knew that he was worried about putting Alexandria's lives on the line, and that going along with Negan and his Wolves was the best way to insure the safety of his people.

  
Michonne shrugged, "I'm ok with not fighting. Killing gets tiresome. Unless they push us...then we fight like hell."

  
As they walked in to the infirmary, Rosita stood, tears in her eyes. She trained a handgun on the scarred man. She had taken Abraham's death hard, but had remained stoic and vengeful. Rick put a hand on her shoulder, "We've got this. Go get some sleep."

  
"Well if it isn't Rick? Come to interrogate me?"

  
Rick shook his head, "Just came to talk...I'm sorry, I don't think I ever got your name?"

  
"I'm Dwight. And Negan is going to fucking kill all of you."

  
Rick and the others attempted to talk to Dwight for almost an hour, but all they got was spit on, cursed at and threatened. After one particularly nasty comment in regards to Negan killing him and fucking his wife, Anna stepped up and punched Dwight so hard, a tooth popped out and he was out cold.

  
Anna shook her left hand and doubled over and screamed, "Goddammit!"

  
Rick walked over to Anna and he took her right hand gently, bruises appeared on her knuckles. She was angrier than he'd ever seen her.

  
As they left the infirmary, Rick looked to Daryl, "Gather everyone, tonight, at the church."

  
Daryl nodded in return and they all went to their homes. Rick wrapped his arm around Anna and she sighed, "I get so tired of getting talked about like a thing...or a bargaining chip. It's medieval and gross."

  
Rick agreed, "I'm sorry. I truly am. Your right hook is impressive, though."

  
"Pregnancy rage."

  
In spite of the severity of their situation, Rick laughed.

  
"What are we going to do, Rick?"

  
He shook his head, "I think it's in our best interests to do what Negan says. We are outnumbered. They don't care for our lives...or the lives of our children. People will not be happy. Daryl, Rosita..."

  
"I'm with you, baby."

  
When they got home, they were welcomed by Carl who had been watching Judith, "Dad...what is the plan?"

  
Rick made himself and Anna mugs of tea, "We're having a town meeting tonight, Carl."

  
Carl looked angry, "We need to kill him, to send a message to The Wolves that we shouldn't be fucked with."

  
Anna looked shocked and gave Carl a stern warning, "Language, Carl."

  
"I'm not a little kid. I've killed people."

  
Anna stood next to Rick, hands on her hips, "That's true, but you shouldn't talk to your father like that. 'Messed with' would have sufficed."

  
Carl mumbled,"Fine."

He then went upstairs and shut his door.

  
Rick handed Anna a mug, "Carl is going to be upset, too. I suppose we should be prepared for that."

  
Anna sat down at the table, "There's no preparing for teenagers. Lord help us when Judith and the new little one get there."

  
He sat down close to her and took her hand, the left one with the ring on it, "Anna, I thought tonight, when the meeting dies down...we can ask Gabriel to marry us, the kids could stay with Carol tonight..."

  
Anna smiled broadly, "Yes, more than anything, yes."

* * *

 

She knew it was silly...she was trying to decide what to wear to the meeting which would end up with her own wedding. She had very little to choose from, and she was starting not to fit in what she did have.

  
Anna went with the navy blue sundress and would wear the jacket of Deanna's that Spencer had given her. She wanted to wear her hair down, but braided the sides away from her face. She clasped Jeannie's pearls around her long neck and noticed her cleavage had become out of control and nearly pornographic.

  
She then dressed Judith in a little white cotton dress with ruffled bloomers and they went downstairs where Rick was taking off his wedding ring, the one from his marriage to Lori. Her wedding set was taken away at Grady after Phillip died and everything had begin to crumble into tyranny.

  
Rick was wearing his camel-colored button down shirt, his gun on his hip and a clean pair of jeans. He looked handsome, per usual.

He looked up at her and smiled, "You look beautiful."

  
She nodded and walked over to him and Judith squealed, "Day-ee!"

  
"I think you should give your wedding ring to Carl. It's a symbol of his parents."

  
Rick looked down at the band in his hand and nodded, "Good idea."

He then took a box out of his pocket and opened it for her to see. Two white gold wedding bands, one for him and one for her. Anna felt herself tear up and she smiled, "Beautiful."

  
At the church, she sat with Carl and Judith, listening as Rick detailed his plans for the community, in regards to Negan. Rosita was livid at the idea of just letting Dwight walk, "You're just going to take this? After Abraham? After Morgan? You're just going to roll over and let him screw us?"

  
Rick raised his hands, "There are just too many of them, Rosita. We piss them off more and who knows how many of us will die and how many of them will be scratching at our walls. It's time to get together, make sure we have more than enough. More gardens to supplement. Everything."

  
Carl wanted his father to fight. Daryl didn't want to let Dwight go. Olivia thought they'd never survive on half of their stores.

  
After the meeting dismissed, Rick and Anna asked Michonne, Carol, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn and Paul to stay. Anna watched as Rick went to Gabriel and told him what they were hoping to do, for the first time in a long time, she saw Gabriel smile.

  
Carol and Michonne sat on Anna's side with Paul, while Maggie, Glenn and Daryl sat on Rick's. Carl and Judith stood behind Rick, and he turned around and handed his old wedding ring to Carl.

  
"I want you to hold on to this. This is a symbol of me and your mother. You can carry it with you always. She and I will love you and Judith, always."

  
Carl slid the ring on his thumb, and he nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

  
Gabriel stood in front of Anna and Rick and held the Book of Common Prayer, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy matrimony."

  
Gabriel then turned to Rick and asked him to repeat after him, "I, Rick, take you, Anna, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

  
And then it was Anna's turn. She felt an outpouring of love for her new life, new family, new husband.

  
"I, Anna, take you, Rick, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

  
Rick squeezed her hand gently and she could not stop smiling. They exchanged rings and it was time for Gabriel to introduce them, "It is my honor to present Mr. and Mrs. Rick Grimes. Rick, you may kiss your bride."

  
He took her face in his hands, and kissed her tenderly infront of God and their friends. Everyone rose from the makeshift pews and greeted the newlyweds warmly. Anna got hugs from everyone, but the best of them came from Michonne, Daryl and Carol.

  
Carol agreed to take Judith and Carl for the night and said it would be like a big party because Michonne and Sasha were both coming to dinner. Anna and Rick left the church hand in hand, and he pulled her close.

  
"I can't wait to get you home, Mrs. Grimes."

* * *

 

When they reached the front door of their home, Rick scooped Anna up and carried her over the threshold. She was so happy...hell...he was so happy. Even with all of the bad, and Negan...he was damn near jolly. He had a beautiful new wife, who was pregnant with his baby.

No one was going to take this away from him.

  
Once he got Anna upstairs, they made quick work of their clothes and began a tender, joyful bought of lovemaking. Anna's body had changed, her cleavage was remarkable and her tummy had begin to change a bit...just a hint of difference. She just got sexier every day.

He couldn't believe his good fortune.

  
As they collapsed in the bed, Anna sighed happily, "I wanna stay here. With you and the kids. Forever. As long as I have you all, I am home."

  
Rick went downstairs to make them a quick dinner...Anna requested her favorite, oatmeal and applesauce and a mug of tea. When he returned with their food, Anna was sitting up wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants and reading the book Dr. Carson had given her.

  
She looked up and put the book down to accept the food from him, "I'm gonna have to find some different clothes. Nothing is fitting that well. "

  
"We can go see Olivia tomorrow, see how the food stores are looking and also what the clothing situation is. See what they gathered from empty houses."

  
Anna stirred a hefty amount of applesauce into the oatmeal,"I have ideas, Rick. We can get to farming and see if we can produce more than enough food for us, and for the goddamn Wolves. I think we should talk to Eugene. He knows a lot."

  
Rick chuckled lowly, remembering a time not so long ago that Eugene was a liar. But somehow he did know about basic science, and things he liked to learn about on his own. Maybe he could be useful, yet. Anna seemed to think so.

  
"Let's talk about something else...let's talk about what to name our baby."

  
Anna sighed, "I don't mind talking about it, but I don't want to decide on anything until it's here. I want to see him or her, and know."

  
"Sounds like a plan...let's start with girls names...what do you like?

* * *

 

Five days later, it had come the day for the Wolves to collect. Rick and Anna hung out on the front porch with their kids, a feeling of dread washing over the both of them. Rick wanted to be together, collected. But his primal instinct was to kill Negan, the way he had killed the scavenger...he ripped out his throat, with his teeth.

  
Then he heard them approach. He gave Anna a kiss goodbye, drawing strength from her. Rick marched down to the gate and saw Negan and over fifty of his men waiting with trucks and vans, to take half of everything in their town.

  
Negan had Lucille propped on his shoulder and he smiled when he saw Rick, "Holy fucking shit, Rick. Everyone has their own house? Sweet!"

  
Rick let them in but said nothing, the Wolves walked in like they owned the joint, and Rick pointed them towards the empty houses. Negan smiled as he took the lay of the land and handed Lucille to Rick, "Why don't you hold her for me, as I get to know Alexandria. Be careful, Rick, you gotta treat her like a lady."

  
Within minutes, the Wolves were carrying mattresses out of houses, boxes of food and guns from the armory and the food stores.

  
Soon, Anna appeared, her arms crossed over her chest. She met him in the middle of the road and looked about as violated as he felt, "He's making you hold that...thing?"

  
He nodded, and Anna looked sympathetic. Suddenly, Negan appeared behind her, looking her up and down, "Jesus fucking Christ, baby. You are the finest piece of ass in this town."

  
Rick felt his fists tighten on Lucille, but Anna wasn't having any of it. She turned around to meet Negan head on and he continued, "I'd be happy to take you home with me, have you meet the other girls. You would have every pretty thing your heart desires, but you'd have to live in lingere...I'd say you're a full c? Jesus, what I'd do to you."

  
Rick wanted to murder him, but knew they were out numbered and that nothing good could come for his family if he did that.

  
Anna smiled and shook her head, "That's about the least tempting offer ever. I'm taken...and pregnant."

  
Negan's cocksure smile disappeared, "Aw baby, why'd you want to wreck that hot as fuck body that way? Cryin' shame. If you bounce back nicely, I might ask you again."

  
Anna looked thoroughly disgusted and like she was going to rip Lucille out of Rick's hands and kill him herself. He saw her hands balled up in fists and her knuckles white.

  
Suddenly, shouting came from the clinic and both he and Anna ran to see Rosita brandishing a gun at two wolves.

  
"You said half! You are taking all of the pain meds, and things that could be abused. Leaving us with aspirin and cold meds."

  
"We are taking half."

  
Rosita turned to look at Rick, "If we had a situation like we did with Tara or Anna, we couldn't treat it."

  
Rick attempted to calm Rosita down, "We'll be ok, come on, put the gun down."

  
She holstered her gun and ran away from the clinic, while Rick stood holding the hideous Lucille. Rick had to reign the rage in, just in enough time for Negan to walk in, with Carl following closely behind...a strange look painted on his face.

  
"Rick, you're fucking kid is as scary as fuck. Future fucking serial killer. I've come for Lucille."

  
Rick handed the barbed wire wrapped bat back to it's loathsome owner.

  
Negan leered at Anna once more and leaned in to whisper to him, "In case you haven't noticed...I just stuck my dick down your throat. And you thanked me. See you in a month."

  
He gave Rick a pat on the shoulder and called for his boys to move out. Carl had disappeared and Anna took Rick's hand and they walked to the gate where they saw Negan and his Wolves drive away in the vans and trucks.

  
There was a basic feeling of unease and anger amongst the residents of Alexandria. Paul came up beside him and said, "They will understand at some point."

  
Rick nodded, "I hope so."

  
As the scene died down, Rick turned to Paul and whispered, "Follow them. Stay behind. Come back once you get the info on their place."

  
Paul nodded and went off to retrieve his things. When he turned around, Anna was gone. When he got home, Carol was in the house with Judith and he looked around.

  
"Where's Anna?"

  
Carol pointed to the back yard, "Getting out some aggression."

  
He went outside and found his wife beating the shit out of a tree stump in the backyard with her baseball bat.

  
"Anna...hey! What are you doing?"

  
She turned around and her green eyes were on fire, "I want to kill him. I want to rip his teeth out of his smug disgusting mouth, if he propositions me one more time, I'm gonna lose it."

  
He put a hand on her arm, "Sweet Thing, trust me."

  
"Those women he keeps...his harem...I want to save them. They aren't property. They are people. "

She started crying and Rick pulled her to him. He wanted to kill Negan, for everything he had done...but Anna could be the last straw.

  
"He's gone, baby. For a month. We will have what he wants and he will take it and leave. He's not going to try and take you, because he wouldn't ask you to come with him. Which, you're not interested in."

  
"Not in the slightest. He is a monster. A disgusting, chauvanistic monster. "

  
He took Anna's hand, "Let's go inside, get something to drink. Where's Carl?"  
Anna shook her head, "I haven't seen him since the clinic."

* * *

  
Carl had been gone for three days. Either the Wolves took him, or he had followed. Rick went out everyday looking for him with Michonne. Anna tried to stay busy in the garden, trying to produce new foods to help aid the ridiculous "tribute" Negan required.

  
When Rick left, tired and angry in the morning, she would go into the back yard of her old house with Judy. As she worked, Judith sat nearby on a blanket.

  
Luckily, the morning sickness had lessened and she managed work without waves and waves of nausea interrupting her gardening. Anna missed Rick, she had to force him to eat when he got home and he'd lay comfortably in her arms until morning and he was gone again.

  
She worried about Carl, he was headstrong and impulsive...and a teenager. Poor Enid kept coming to their door every night to see if he had returned. Every night when she would knock on the door, Anna would invite her in and she would have dinner with Anna and Judith. They didn't talk much, but there was so much Anna wanted to ask Enid...about her family, if she was lonely...how she had managed to survive so long on ther own as a loner.

  
After dinner, they would sit on the couch and read until Rick would come home, without Carl. Three nights and mornings of the same, and Anna was hoping that when Rick came home that night, that Carl would be with him...that they could settle into some peace before the Wolves came crawling again.

  
The third night when Rick came home, he barely ate and seemed lost in his thoughts. Anna played with Judith on the floor, and not even her happy smiles or claps seemed to break him of his reverie. Anna stood up and walked to where Rick sat and sat in his lap.

  
"I know you are hashing out a plan. What is it?"

  
Rick placed his hand on her lower back and shook his head, "I am hoping Jesus will return soon. I sent him to follow Negan. If he could lead me there, I will go after Carl myself."

  
Anna wrapped her arms around his neck, "I hate Negan. For all he has done. I want Carl back. The house is empty without him...and without you. Judy and I miss you both...and poor Enid."

  
"How long does she stay? Before I come home...how long is she here?"

  
Anna shrugged, "Three or four hours. I'm really emotional these days and I feel very protective of her. She is so alone. She might have seen and done a lot, but she is just a kid. Do you think...we could take her in? We have an extra room. I think she could benefit with having a family..."

  
Rick smiled gently, she knew this was a lot to put on him, but it was something she felt strongly about. After pressing a warm kiss to Anna's lips, Rick sighed, "She would have to understand that we're going to have rules. No running about. Carl is going to get the same talk when I find him. There will be no more of this."

  
Anna felt her heart flutter that Rick had just given his blessing to bring Enid in and kissed him happily in return.  
"Looks like we're gonna have a full house."

  
Inside, though Anna was worried about Carl and Rick, she thought about their little rag-tag family: She, Rick, Carl, Judith, Enid and the new baby. A house full of kids to love.

  
It was an embarrassment of riches in the new world, and everything she wanted in the old one. She couldn't wait to ask Enid the next day.

  
Rick placed his hand on her stomach, "Have you been ok? I should take better care of you."

  
Anna nodded, "Morning sickness is still around, but it is getting better. I feel better. In a few days. We'll be at ten weeks...two more until the second trimester...three more until..."

  
She stopped short and he raised an eyebrow, "Until what?"

  
Anna looked down and sighed, "Until where I was when I lost my first baby."

  
Rick took her face in his hands, "That won't happen again, Anna. I won't allow it. Once Carl is back home, we can settle down a bit and only worry when the Wolves come to collect. I'm going to take better care of you. Only a little over a week in and I've been an absentee husband."

  
"You're not. It's your son we're talking about here. I want you to find him safe. I want him home with us...maybe with Enid here...he won't want to stray so much?"

  
"Maybe. I don't know what I'd do without you, Sweet Thing. You've got such a good heart."

* * *

 

The next morning, the routine started again, Rick left early but took time to to hug both Anna and Judith goodbye. Then they went and worked in the garden.

Tomatoes and peppers were plentiful, and some radishes and turnips began to sprout. Snap peas began flourish...but it still wasn't enough to feed them and the Wolves. She planted more seeds...pumpkins and gourds and fall foods to harvest.

  
Hours later she took Judith in to eat and cleaned both of them up. She put Judith down for a nap and there was a knock on the door. Anna felt a rush of excitement, thinking that it was Enid. But when she opened the door, Spencer stood on the door step.

  
She touched the hilt of her gun in it's holster, and tried to not look taken aback, "Oh hey."

  
Spencer looked nervous, unsure. His hair had grown long, and he had grown a beard. He was carrying a box of books and gave her a small wave, "Hey. I brought some of my mom and dad's books...is Rick around? I'd like to talk to him about some things?"

  
Anna shook her head, "He'll be back later. Want me to tell him you stopped by?"

  
He shrugged, "Sure. Um...hey I heard about...the wedding. Congratulations."

  
Anna nodded, "Thanks."

  
Enid appeared behind Spencer and he excused himself quietly. Anna picked up the box and waved Enid in.

  
"Any sign of Carl?"

  
Anna locked the door behind her and shook her head, "Nothing yet. Wanna go through these books with me? And I will make dinner?"

  
Enid shrugged and they sat in the living room and rummaged through about twenty books including "The Lord of the Rings", "Wuthering Heights," "Once and Future King", "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and "Great Expectations."

  
Anna was shaken by Spencer's visit, but happy for the new books. She made a plain Jane spaghetti dinner while Enid sat quietly at the table. She thought about how to tell Enid about her and Rick's offer.

  
"Do you think Negan killed Carl?"

  
Anna felt her heart drop straight to her stomach, "God, no. "

  
She placed the plates on the table and they dug in quietly. Anna looked up at Enid, her long, dark hair and sullen face.

  
"I've always wanted to ask you something...how long has it been...since you were with your family?"

  
Enid shrugged, "A year or so."

  
"Rick and I have been talking...and we'd really like it...I mean, if you'd like to you could...live with us. We have another room."

  
Enid's mouth formed a surprise "o."

  
"I can take care of myself. I'm not a charity case."

  
Anna nodded, "I know...and this isn't charity. I'd like for you to stay here...be apart of our family. If you want to. You're a good kid, Enid. You deserve a family."

  
"So you and Rick...you want to be my mom and dad?"

  
"It doesn't have to be like that, we can just be good friends that take care of each other. I like reading with you. I can teach you to garden...I don't want you to be alone anymore."

  
Enid looked at her hands and shrugged, "I'd like to try, I suppose."

  
Anna felt herself smiling broadly and she teared up a bit, "Do you want to go get your stuff? I can make up your bed."

* * *

 

Rick came home exhausted and angry for the fourth night in a row. When Anna let him in, she told him Enid was upstairs...setting up her new room. She also told him that Spencer had come by and wanted to talk to him.

  
He didn't have time for Spencer...and to be honest, he didn't want to speak to him at all.

  
Jesus had not returned and he felt like he could not rest until he found Carl. He felt like he was neglecting Anna and the town. All he wanted to do was be with his family. Take care of the town. Watch Judith grow. Be there for his pregnant wife and help her usher their child into the world.

  
Every night, he sought solace in Anna's arms. When they had first gone to Hilltop and saw the trade opportunities, the doctors...he had felt hopeful. Then came Negan, all the bloodshed, friends lost...and now Carl.

  
Rick just wanted to be home with his family. He wanted to live and not just survive. Not just fight.

  
While they laid in bed, Rick looked at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

  
"You should drink some bourbon." Anna's voice came quietly in the dark.

  
He rolled over and came face to face with her sleepy eyes, "I would. But Negan took all of it."

  
"Motherfucker."

  
Rick laughed, for some reason, Anna's swearing was attractive. She plainly hated Negan. Mostly for his comeons and propostions and believing he deserved every thing everyone had, and his non-existent regard for human life.

  
Anna stroked his cheek and pulled him close, "Why didn't you tell me about sending Jesus to follow Negan?"

Rick shrugged, "I needed everyone to be compliant, scared. If Negan got a whiff of dissent, who knows what he would do. It's been humiliating to be his little servant. But if we are going to beat him, we have got to learn about him. So I sent Jesus."

  
She nodded, "I understand. But I am glad to know you had a plan all along. Sort of like Carol when we got here."

  
Rick leaned in and kissed her, and began to trail kisses down her neck. She sighed I pleasure and just when she had taken off her t-shirt...a loud, urgent knock came upon the front door. Rick grabbed his gun and made his way downstairs as Anna put her shirt back on.

  
It was Jesus. Speak of the devil.

  
Rick ushered him in quickly and locked the door. Both Anna and Enid appeared with wild hair and sleepy eyes and they went to the kitchen, where Anna put on the tea kettle.

  
Jesus looked wild-eyed, "I found them. They are holed up in a warehouse with booby traps made with walkers."

  
Rick felt the connection wash over him, the same place where Aaron and Daryl had met Morgan. They should have known all along.

  
"It's quite a set up, Rick. That scarred asshole Dwight took me in with some of his men. I managed to escape, hotwired a car just outside D.C."

  
Rick took a sip of his tea, "I need you to take me there at first light. Carl is missing. I think the Wolves have him."

  
"Christ. I didn't see him, but then again I didn't hang around. What are you gonna do?"

  
"I'm taking Michonne and Daryl with us. I'm getting my son back. I'm gonna knock on the door of that madman's domain."

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

  
The next morning, Rick gathered Michonne, Daryl and Jesus for their trip to "The Sanctuary"...or whatever the Wolves call it. He wouldn't allow Anna to go, and she worried about him and Carl.

  
"I'll get him back. And I will be home. Once this is all over, we will live comfortably and raise the kids. All of them."

  
With everything going on, he had not had a chance to speak with Enid, but it seems her first night at their home had served her well, because she smiled when she held Judith and didn't seem nearly as sullen.

  
Anna threw her arms around him...he hated this. He hated leaving her. He hated making her worry, but it was necessary to get his son back.

  
"I love you." Anna whispered sadly and he kissed her goodbye.

  
"I love you, too. Take care of our girls, ok?"

  
Anna smiled briefly when she heard him say "our girls."

  
Once the van was loaded and they were on their way, Michonne turned to Rick and asked him lowly, "You sure about this?"

  
Rick nodded, " I am."

  
"You're really gonna go knock on his door?" Daryl said with a look that suggested that he was not opposed to a fight.

  
"Negan wants us submissive. If I politely knock on his door, he will see a man in line with what he wants...but he will also be on notice because we know where he his."

  
Jesus suddenly stopped the van and commented, "I don't think we're gonna have to do any of that."

  
He pointed out the window and Rick followed his hand. Negan's large, deadly truck had blocked their way, it was swarming with his Wolves. Rick and the others filed out, as Negan emerged with the dreaded Lucille perched over his shoulder.

  
"Holy shit! What a coincidence! We were just on the way to see you!"

  
Rick felt his shoulders tense and his hands curl into fists, "My son is missing. We were looking for him."

  
Negan swaggered closer to Rick, "Yeah. That little fucker of yours killed six of my men with a machine gun. I had to punish him properly. But wait til you see what I've done to him..."

  
Before Negan could finish, Rick lunged at him, the rage coursing through his veins. Between punches, Rick growled, "If you laid one hand on Carl I will end you...here!"

  
They grappled a bit longer and Negan managed to get out of his grasp and had the gall to laugh, "Woah easy...you're gonna be sorry...boys! Bring him out!"

  
Rick pulled himself up to see men bringing an unscathed Carl out of the truck, being held tightly by the arms. Carl broke free of the Wolves and ran to him, "Dad! Dad! I'm so sorry!"

  
Rick embraced his son, feeling the slightest bit of relief.

  
Negan sighed, "I was just fucking with you, man. I wanted to see you get riled up. I've done many horrible things, but I'm not gonna hurt a fucking kid. Not even one as scary as yours. I'm not an unreasonable man, Rick. Just do what I ask and everything will be fine. We'll see you in two weeks."

  
Rick held Carl close and watched as the wolves left. Negan waved to them with a shit eating grin. He heard Michonne sheath her sword and sigh, "He really expects us to believe that? That he is reasonable?"

  
Rick shrugged and said, "Let's go home."

On the way back to Alexandria, Carl filled them all in on what happened over the days he was with  Negan. 

"He has five or six wives. None of them wear much clothing. He told me I can look at them all I want, because all the women in Alexandria dress like elderly lesbians...except for Anna. He said some things about her I wanted to kill him for."

  
Rick wanted to kill him, too, for even thinking about her...thinking he could coerce her with lingere and pretty things to submit to him and being apart of his brothel.

  
Carl continued, "They have a point system to buy things. The wives can have whatever they want. Some of them used to be married to other men, if they cheat on him, the man gets punished. Some guy got an iron to the side of the face. His skin melted. His wife is now one of Negan's wives. But the women can leave at any time, but they have to go back to the point system. "

  
Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing...what his son had been exposed to. Negan was depraved, but had seemed to treat Carl well.

  
"They say that the rules are important, because the rules keep them alive."  
Daryl looked disgusted, "What a bunch of bullshit."

  
Rick agreed, "Anything else, Carl?"

  
Carl looked down at his hands, "He made me sing Lucille a song as my punishment. She likes to be sung to more than bashing in heads. Then he asked me about mom...and Anna."

  
Rick felt the fury boil in his lungs. Negan was a madman. He wanted to kill him. For Carl, for Lori, for Judith, for Morgan, for Abraham and for Anna. He didn't want Negan to utter Lori or Anna's names ever again.

* * *

 

Anna could hardly contain herself at the relief she felt when Rick and the others had returned home with Carl...and in less than a day.

  
Before she even greeted Rick, she pulled Carl to her in a massive hug, happy tears running down her cheeks.

  
"Don't you dare do that to me or your father again, ok? We were worried sick. But I'm so glad you are home."

  
Carl hugged her tight and nodded, "I'm so sorry. I was just so angry about Abraham and Morgan. I wanted revenge."

  
Anna ushered everyone inside and put an arm around Carl's shoulder, "We've got some news, Carl. I think you'll like it."

  
As everyone filed in the house, Rick pulled her back on the porch with him and wrapped her up in an embrace. He buried his head in her hair and circled his arms around her waist. He didn't say anything, but she knew what he was feeling.

  
Once again he returned to her bruised, bloodied and worse for wear. He had his son home, but he was thinking of revenge. She knew that there was a long fight ahead of them, if they ever wanted to be free of Negan's tyrrany.

Anna held his face in her hands and kissed him lovingly, wanting to give him strength, "I'm glad you're home, baby. I know something happened. I know you are planning. But tonight...let's be a family...ok?"

  
He nodded and kissed her again before they both went inside.

  
Anna made coffee and tea and Jesus, Daryl, Michonne, Rick and Carl told her, Enid and Judith about all that he saw.  
She was sickened by the tales of Negan's harem. How he had coerced women away from their husbands and into his sexual service. How he dressed them. Even if they were free to leave, it was still disgusting and reprehensible.

  
Carl looked up from his meal of oatmeal, "You said you had news? That I'd like?"

  
Anna snapped out of her reverie and nodded, "Your dad and I asked Enid to stay with us. Be apart of our family."  
Carl's eyes grew wide, "She's my sister now?"

  
Enid made a face, "Ew, no."

  
Everyone at the table laughed at the response and Anna shook her head, "No...family doesn't have to be defined so strictly. I just want Enid to have a home and people who love her. She deserves that."

  
Enid hung her head and blushed and Daryl spoke up, "Well thanks for the coffee...I am gonna go check in with Carol and Aaron."

  
Soon, Michonne and Jesus had followed Daryl out. Anna heard Jesus say to Rick that he would be by in the morning, that he thought it was time he knew some things, but it could wait until the next day.

  
Rick locked the door behind them and they all spent time together as a family. Rick played with Judith, who was on the verge of walking on her own, while Anna, Carl and Enid read from "The Lord of the Rings" anthology that Spencer had dropped by the night before.

  
As the night progressed, Enid excused herself to bed, Carl went up to shower, Anna cleaned up the dishes and Rick put Judith down for the evening. Once she had finished in the kitchen Anna sneaked upstairs and checked in on both Carl and Enid, and they were both passed out.

  
She lit a candle in the now empty bathroom and ran a hot bath. Rick popped his head in and raised his eyebrows, "Gonna take a bath?"

  
Anna pulled him in quickly and locked the door, "Yes. The both of us. We need to relax a bit."

  
She unbuckled his holster and put his gun on the sink, then unbuttoned his shirt as he chuckled beneath his breath, "Christ woman, you know I can't relax when you do stuff like this."

  
Anna smiled sadly, "You need rest. Let me take care of you. Just for tonight. Go on, get in the tub."

  
She folded up his clothes and placed them on the sink and watched him ease into the tub. He had been beaten...again. Bruises were forming on his arms and shoulders, and his eye.

  
Anna undressed, tied her hair up and eased in behind Rick in the bathtub. She washed his back and hair and massaged his neck and shoulders. The stress and tension had formed hard knots between his shoulder blades.

  
Rick groaned with pleasure, "I can't believe I've never thought to ask you to do this."

  
She laughed, "You hardly ever sit down, Rick. I've never had a chance..."

  
"Well then, I should probably start cashing in on it."

  
Anna continued to massage out his knots and thought to herself about a time in the future that perhaps her husband wouldn't come home so damaged. Maybe he could sleep. Maybe he could lead and not have to fight.

  
She would be fine never seeing him covered in blood...his own or anyone else's...ever again.

  
Suddenly, he caught her left hand and motioned for her to stop, "I want to kill him, Anna. I want to ruin him. For all he has done, and all he continues to do. I won't let him reign over my family with fear or terror."

  
She hugged his back to her chest and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and whispered in his ear, "Not if I kill him first, baby."

  
Anna wanted Negan dead more than anything. That man was standing in the way of their progress.

  
Plus, he had killed their friends.

  
"Jesus, Anna, the weirdest things about you turn me on."

  
She laughed, "I figured as much."

  
"All I want is for Negan to go away. I want to build up Alexandria. I want to raise our kids. I don't want them in danger everyday. Jesus, I want to spend all day in bed with you, making you blush sometimes."

  
Anna admired Rick's passion...he was a great leader. But sometimes at the expense of his own peace of mind and well-being, and that was what concerned her.

  
A little while later, they got out of the tub, bundled up in towels, extinguished the candle and carried their clothes back into the bedroom. Anna heard the room door lock behind her and she turned and smiled, "Are you gonna make me blush?"

  
"God, I hope so."

  
With that, the towels were dropped and they fell into bed in a tangle of arms and legs. Rick's hands explored every inch of her body and she kissed him deeply. She turned the tables on him, spinning him beneath her. As she hovered above him, Anna felt a wicked smile wash across her lips, knowing she was driving him crazy.

* * *

 

Rick awoke the next morning with images of the night before. The way Anna looked in the candlelight and the feel of her breasts against his back. Her hands milking the tension from his shoulders. Watching her on top of him...  
Negan must not have had a woman as good as her, because if he did, he wouldn't have the need for five wives.

  
And knowing what he knows now, if Negan even looks at Anna the wrong way...he would kill him.

  
Rick dressed and buckled his holster around his hip and made his way downstairs where Anna was making breakfast and Enid, Carl and Jesus all sat around the kitchen table. Jesus was holding Judith on his lap and she was beaming.

  
"Day-ee!"

He smiled and walked over and patted her head, "Hi Pumpkin."

  
Anna kissed him, "Morning, Constable."

  
He took a seat beside Jesus and Anna put a mug of coffee in front of him, "So...Jesus...what did you want me to know?"

  
Judith turned and patted Jesus on the face, but he managed to talk, "I have talked to Carl about the Sanctuary. Now that we know more about Negan, I think it's time you met Ezekiel."

Rick looked confused, "Ezekiel?"

  
"He's the leader of one of the communities that Negan terrorizes. He calls it The Kingdom. We've been looking for someone like you for awhile now, Rick. A leader to overturn Negan."

Rick and Anna met eyes and Jesus called over his shoulder, "Anna, do you mind if I take your old man for a short trip?"

  
He saw the hesitant look on his wife's face, "It depends. Is this gonna make Negan dead?"

  
Jesus smiled, "I believe so. If not dead, we will at least leave him powerless."

  
Anna smiled, "Just don't bring my old man home bruised and beaten again. He's gonna need his strength."

  
Enid sighed and looked to Carl, "Gross. Are they always like this?"

  
His son nodded, "Yeah, yeah they are."

* * *

  
Later that day, Rick called all of the Alexandrians to Gabriel's church and spoke to them about why they needed to be united and work hard to fulfill the next tribute to Negan. That Negan could be a reasonable man, and if they did what he wanted, then no more harm would come to them.

  
Rick wasn't sure if he bought the last part entirely, but he needed the town to be with him...compliant...so that when the time came, the attack on The Wolves would be unseen.

  
He looked to his family as they sat in the front pew, and knew that him leaving to go with Jesus would put more stress on Anna and their unborn baby, but she in turn knew that if their baby was to ever live without Negan's tyranny, then he would have to visit this Ezekiel in his Kingdom.

  
As they walked home, Rick took Anna's hand and saw the tiredness and the stress awash on her face and promised to himself that all of this would be worth it, that soon the threat would be lessened and their town could once again flourish and trade with the folks from the Hilltop.

  
She had a lot of faith in him, and for that he was grateful.

  
Once they had returned home, they sat in the living room together before Jesus arrived. Rick and Carl played with Judith and helped her to walk around with their hands. She was going to walk any day now. Anna convinced Enid to let her pull her hair away from her face with a braid.  
He couldn't stop looking at Anna. Smiling Anna. Laughing Anna.

  
Everytime he was about to leave, a part of him worried that he would not see her again.

  
And for that reason alone, he knew he had to go. To save her. To save him.  
Rick was broken from his reverie by a knock on the front door. Carl got up and answered and it was Jesus. They had all tried to call him Paul, but Jesus certainly suited him...for looks and his ability to come through on saving asses.

  
Rick picked up Judith and rose to meet him, "Heading out?

  
"Yeah, you ready?"

  
Rick looked around to his family and thought to himself, "Not really." But instead, he nodded and handed Judith off to Carl with a kiss, "Just need a jacket and my machete."

  
As he made his way upstairs, he saw Anna follow in his periphery. Once in their bedroom, he tied the machete on his hip and when he turned around, Anna was standing there with tears in her eyes and offering him his jacket.

  
"Anna-"

  
She shook her head, "I'm fine, just stupid hormones. Here..."

  
She helped him slide his jacket on and he turned around to face her.

  
"I will come home. We will be ok. This is all for us...our baby. Our family."

  
Anna smiled sadly, "I know. I'll just miss you...and worry. But you're the best man I know, and I know you'll come back...with a plan."

  
He pulled her to him and took her face in his hands, while pressing his forehead to hers, "To hell and back, Sweet Thing."

  
He felt her hot tears on his hands and she nodded, "To hell and back."

  
Rick kissed his wife's lips sweetly and pulled her downstairs where he said goodbye to his family and was soon on the road to Ezekiel and the Kingdom with Jesus.

* * *

 

Rick and Jesus only drove for an hour before parking their vehicle and walking on the abandoned, quiet streets of Washington, D.C.

  
"What are we waiting for?" Rick felt impatient.

  
Jesus sighed, "We cannot get into the Kingdom or see Ezekiel without an escort. It's a...thing. Ezekiel is a bit eccentric."

  
Rick scanned the area and saw nothing, and soon Jesus asked him something in effort of small talk, "So um...when are you and the Missus going to tell folks about the new baby?"

  
Rick shrugged, "I'm leaving that up to Anna. She had some trouble before all of this with her husband. Lost a baby early in the pregnancy during the outbreak. I guess whenever she feels comfortable or when we get to the point we can't hide it anymore."

  
"She's a good woman...tough. She's pretty crazy about you. And those kids."

  
Rick felt a smile pull at the corner of his lips, "She is why I am doing all of this...so what are we waiting for again?"

  
Jesus looked at the horizon and pointed, "Them."

  
Two men approached on horseback and they wore body armor and carried swords. One of the men pointed his weapon at them and demanded, "Who dares to trespass?"

  
Rick already couldn't believe what he was hearing.

  
The man who asked looked closer at Jesus, "Oh shit Jesus, sorry, I didn't recognize you at first. Who's this?"

  
Jesus motioned to Rick and said, "This is Rick, he is the leader of Alexandria. A similar community. We're here to request an audience with King Ezekiel."

  
The man on horseback smiled, "Of course. You know he loves to see you."  
The horses and riders went ahead and Rick and Jesus followed them closely in the van.

Rick shot Jesus a look, "KING Ezekiel?"

  
Jesus just shrugged, "His digs, what're ya gonna do?"

  
Soon, they came upon a sprawling high school wrapped with a barricade of metal sheets and school buses. Once inside the gates, Rick and Jesus got out of the van and looked around. Thousands of tents were assembled outside, but there was no one to be seen.

  
"Where is everybody?"

  
Jesus responded quickly, "It's changing seasons. In the summer, everyone moves out here and sleeps in the tents...come fall and winter they all sleep inside together."

  
One of the "Knights" on horseback called to them, "The King is on his way."

  
After a moment of slience, a booming and commanding voice was heard, "Jesus! Old Friend!"

  
Rick looked up to see the owner of the voice, a regal-looking man with dark skin and silver dreadlocks carrying a staff and leading a tiger on a leash.

  
A goddamn, full grown tiger.

  
Jesus looked over his shoulder to Rick, "Ah yeah, probably should've told you about that."

  
Ezekiel waived them on, and Jesus took the reigns and introduced Rick and Alexandria and talked about their fight with Negan. As they tunneled down the long hallways of the old high school, Ezekiel shook his head.

  
"I don't care for Gregory one bit. Has more people than all of us. Could have an army, but chooses to hide like a coward. I have never liked Negan's truce. I crowned myself King to protect my people...Negan and his wolves stand in the way of this, I want them gone. I have been only waiting for the right time, the right ally to strike."

  
They reached the large auditorium and Rick nodded, "My people are willing to fight. We are capable. I only ask for your help."

  
Ezekiel nodded, "And you have it. It seems everything has aligned in our favor today. many travelers have come to seek aid here. Come out Traveler!"

  
As Ezekiel sat on what served as a throne, his massive tiger at his feet, a familiar form came out of the shadows, and it took little time for Rick to recognize the twisted shape of Dwight coming from the shadows.

  
"I know what you think of me. But you need to understand. I've never been in support of Negan."

Rick felt his rage boiling over, his hands balled into fists. Abraham's murderer. His town's attacker.

  
"Don't believe this asshole for one goddamn minute. He is Negan's right hand. He openly attacked us, killed one of our strongest assets. If Negan knew Carl would tell me information, he probably sent this asshole to catch me in the act."

  
Dwight shook his head, "I HAD to do what he said. He has my wife. He put the iron to my face. If I didn't obey, he'd hurt Sherry. You have no idea what I have sacrificed by coming here."

  
Rick took Dwight by the lapels of his denim vest and punched him over and over, the rage and bloodlust climbing to a dangerous level.

  
The tiger growled loudly and Ezekiel calmed him, "Rest easy, Shiva."

  
Jesus pulled Rick off of the scarred man, while the latter pulled himself up, "Listen to me. I am prepared to tell you Negan's weaknesses and secrets. I want to give you his head on a fucking silver platter. You let me, I will help you end him. For good."

* * *

 

That night when Rick was gone to get help from "The Kingdom," Michonne came over for dinner and to visit with Anna, Judith and Carl...she was still getting to know Enid.

  
As Anna made macaroni and tomatoes with fresh basil, Michonne sat at the table holding Judith on her lap, "So...how's it going with Enid?"

  
Anna shrugged, "She's seen a lot, like the lot of us. I see her smile more. I think she sleeps well here. She likes Judith. She likes to read with us. Today I convinced her to let me braid her hair. She is a very pretty girl."

  
Michonne sighed, "I used to be friendly. Funny. I used to be able to talk to people. But not now. I don't think I will ever be back there again. It's hard, after all that has happened...to feel like it's ok to be happy or normal or like we deserve any of those things."

  
Anna took the pot off of the stove and and sighed, "I know we're all pretty damaged. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to grab happiness while we can. We can still try for the best in a bad situation."

  
Soon, Carl and Enid joined them in the kitchen and they sat down for their evening meal. Somewhere in the middle of it, a knock came on the door, Michonne gave Anna a worried look and attempted to reach for her sword.  
Anna waived her off and went to the door. When she openeded it, there stood Spencer.

Immediately, she felt ill at ease.

  
"Um, hey, Anna. Sorry to disturb you. But is Rick around? He never got back to me."

  
Anna shook her head, "He's scouting with Jesus. He will be back late."

  
Spencer sharply inhaled, "He's never here. How does he expect to lead if he is never here?"

  
Instead of lashing out like she wanted to, she plainly said, "Goodnight Spencer" and shut and locked the door.

 

Late that night she slept restlessly in bed. Rick wasn't there and she felt ill at ease. Anna knew that they were gearing up for war. She didn't know if she could be useful due to the pregnancy...and she didn't know how long it would last.  
In the wee hours of the morning, the bedroom door opened quietly and Rick crept into the room.

  
"Hey." Anna called to him lowly.

  
He unbuckled his holster and placed his weapons on the bedside table and kicked off his shoes, "Can't sleep?"

  
Anna shook her head. There was just so much in her brain, but she felt significantly more relaxed now that he was home. Rick took off his jeans and slid into bed with her, his arm wwrapped lazily around her hips.

  
"How did it go?"

  
Rick pulled her closer and shook his head, "Ezekiel is a king. He has Knights. And a tiger named Shiva."

  
Anna looked confused, "A tiger?"

  
"Yep. On a leash. Huge animal. Terrifying."

  
"Is he crazy?"

  
Rick laughed softly, "Who isn't nowadays? Besides. I think crazy is what we need when we go up against Negan. Crazy with crazy."

  
Anna stroked the side of his face, "So what is next?"

  
"We're putting together an army. Folks from Hilltop, Alexandria and the Kingdom. We also have an insider in the Wolves camp. Gonna have to go back in a few days."

  
Anna felt her heart drop, and he must have seen the worry and was quick to comfort her, "You all are going with me. Weapons training. I'd like for you to stay out of the fray, but I know that isn't really realistic. You all have to fight like hell. Taking Michonne and Daryl and Sasha, too. Swords, bows, snipers. We have to work fast before Negan comes to collect again. In the morning, I am going to check in at the food sores with Olivia."

  
Anna wanted all of this to be over. But she knew once this had met it's end, that the cycle of fresh hell would start again. Everything in this new world was terrifying and unexpected. Their child would not know the same childhood that they did. It would be normal for the dead to walk, for megalomaniacs to rule by whatever force imagined or real.  
Rick stroked her back gently and soon she felt herself succumbing to the grips of sleep.

* * *

 

The next morning, Rick awoke with Anna cradled in his arms, her breath warm, soft and slow against his neck. Though he had made alliances with Ezekiel, Jesus and very reluctantly, Dwight ...the idea of all out war scared him more than he let on. Mostly for Anna and the kids. It was unreasonable to think that he could keep them completely safe and unscathed. So they would have to be taught to fight.

  
As soon as they arrived to Alexandria's gates the night before, Jesus left directly and without a moments rest to gather a group of allies and supporters from Hilltop, without Gregory's knowledge and they were all going to meet at the kingdom for training and strategizing.

  
He got up and dressed so he could go to see Olivia and then wanted to come back home to make Anna and the kids breakfast. He left the house with his gun on his hip and a little hope that he could make this world livable for his family.  
Minutes later, Rick stood infront of the near empty shelves with Olivia pacing behind. He felt the anxiety climb in his throat.

  
"Even if we had double, it wouldn't be enough."

  
Olivia whispered, "What are we going to do?"

  
Rick put his hands at his hips and turned around to meet eyes with her, "Supply run. And quick."

  
"But we have scoured the immediate area, and there is nothing."

  
"Then we take a larger group. More people."

  
"You're leaving? AGAIN?"

  
Rick turned around to see Spencer glaring at him, "Got something to say, Spencer?"

  
Spencer walked up to him, his face only inches from his, "Did it ever occur to you that these people need you? I think you're scared of Negan, that's why you roll over for him. I'm pretty sure my mother never intended for any of this to happen and would certainly never allow you to lead if it meant hers and my father's deaths. Do you really know what in the hell you are doing around here?"

  
Rick stepped closer to him, nose to nose, "Yes. I sure do."

  
Spencer stood his ground but said nothing for many moments. They just stared each other down. Finally, he turned away and as he walked, Rick heard him say, "This isn't over."

  
Rick felt the rage rise...he wanted Spencer managed, if not gone. It might not have been over yet, but it would be.

* * *

  
  
Only two days later, a large team was going out for a large supply run. Judith was to stay with Carol, while Carl and Enid came with the group. Anna knew the true purpose of the trip...and it would seem odd to take little Judith with them if they were to keep up appearances.

  
Daryl, Michonne, Rick, Anna, Carl, Enid and Sasha all filed into the van, the latter of which seemed less than thrilled to be pulled from her perch in the tower, and Glenn had taken over until they returned. It had been a long time since Anna had seen Sasha. She looked thin, worn and angry.

  
That morning while getting dressed, Anna realized her jeans no longer buttoned. They were going on a supply run after meeting this Ezekiel and seeing his Kingdom, and besides quelling rations for Negan, Anna was on the hunt for maternity or just bigger clothes to get her through the winter.

  
She and the kids had brought "The Lord of the Rings" with them and she definitely could associate with little Frodo Baggins, trying to stop his world from ending. They were nearing the end of the first book and close to the beginning of the second.

  
Daryl got upset with Boromir's death and Anna thought it was pretty adorable. For such an insufferable hardass he was prone to be, Daryl Dixon was quite the softy.

  
The trip was short, in comparison to going to Hilltop, and Rick pulled the van over and they all stood in the D.C. streets, waiting for their escort.  
Soon, two men on horseback appeared, dressed with body armor and carrying spears.

  
Sasha, Daryl and Michonne looked perplexed, to say the least.

  
"Rick? What the hell is this?" Michonne looked upset, knowing that Rick hadn't told her the whole truth.

  
"Waiting for our escort, is all."

Daryl squinted and held his crossbow on his shoulder, "Are they supposed to be...?"

  
"They are Knights...of the Kingdom."

  
Michonne pivoted and turned around to meet Rick with a fierce anger, "You didn't trust us enough to tell us about this before?"

  
He held his hands up, "They're friends, Michonne. Jesus brought me here. And I am bringing you all here...to help strategize to take down Negan."

Anna recognized the look on Michonne's face...she felt betrayed by Rick. She had been his right hand along with Daryl for so long. She had every right to be upset. But it made Anna uneasy...because he had told her and not Michonne, the most trusted soldier in Rick's ranks.

  
Daryl on the other hand didn't seem offended, in fact, he found the Knights just the slightest bit hilarious, "Is everybody around here like this?"

  
When the Knights approached, they recognized Rick from his visit just days before. One of them called, "Rick, The King is expecting you. Our friend Jesus has not yet returned."

  
The group all got into the van and followed the escorts slowly through the buses and gates of the Kingdom. Michonne was still seething, "A King?"

  
Rick answered from behind the wheel, "His name is Ezekiel. He's our newest ally."

  
When they reached the Great Hall...what once was the high school auditorium, Anna finally saw what was indeed the craziest thing she is seen in the apocalypse; a king with his silver hair in dreadlocks, sitting on a throne, holding a staff and the leash of a giant, orange, Bengal tiger.

  
Carl wanted to pet the tiger, but as gorgeous as it was...it had massive jaws and paws...and "deadly" didn't even begin to describe it.

  
Ezekiel rose from his throne, "Ah, Rick Grimes, my friend. Have you brought me the finest warrior from your town?"

  
Rick nodded, "This is Daryl, Michonne and Sasha...bows, swords and sniper respectively. I thought we could have them train a bit with your folks...and this is my wife Anna and my kids, Carl and Enid. I thought they could benefit from some extra training."

  
Ezekiel smiled, "Very good. Let us go and feast, the training shall begin in the morning. Jesus has not yet arrived with his prospects."

  
They all followed Ezekiel to the caferteria, and Anna took Rick's hand in hers. He looked over at her and smiled briefly, "Weird, right?"

  
Anna nodded, "Very strange...and everyone just goes along with this?"

  
"They seem to."

  
"Has the tiger killed anyone yet?"

  
"He hasn't said."

* * *

 

After dinner, Ezekiel showed them to their rooms for the night. Anna and Rick paired up in a room that had two small, single cots pushed together, while the others shared a classroom with many cots just across the hall.

  
Anna was happy to be able to take off her jeans and lay in bed in just panties and a t-shirt. She stretched out on her back and rested her hands on her stomach. Rick came in after talking to Michonne...she was still angry at him. When he shut the door behind him, he kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his holster and eased into the makeshift double bed beside her.

  
"My jeans won't button. I couldn't wait to get out of them."

  
Rick smiled devilishly, "I couldn't wait for you to get out of them either."

  
"Rick, these cots are too rickety and our people are just across the hall."

  
He laughed, "I was just being funny."  
As she laid there, he pulled her shirt up away from her stomach and traced circles with his finger, "When Lori was pregnant, before we made it to the prison, she looped rubber bands through the hole and the button of her jeans to make more room."

  
Anna smiled, "That's smart."

  
She didn't mind when he talked about Lori, she seemed like such a big part of her life...and someone to be grateful to for Judith and Carl, the family she had never expected. She wished she had a picture of her, to show Judith, but she was hoping that Carl could fill in the blanks, when Judith was older.

  
"Eleven weeks. One more week and we're at the second trimester."

  
Rick looked up at her and just smiled, "Our baby is gonna be ok. You are gonna be ok. We are all strong. We're survivors."

  
Anna fought back tears and just smiled.  
Rick placed his hand on Anna's stomach, "It's all still so amazing. I can't wait to feel it kick. Three kids in, and it's still a miracle."

  
Their baby was a miracle, that was for sure. Anna couldn't believe she was having a baby, while in constant peril, archaic medicine and a man that wasn't Phillip.

  
Poor Phillip. He was always so patient, calming. He was a good man through and through and a wonderful husband. He was bookish and soft spoken...tall and traditionally handsome.

  
She didn't know how he could've survived this world. She also didn't truly know the man that Rick was before...maybe she only knew the man he had to be.

  
"Tell me about...you, when you were a kid?"

  
Rick moved his head up to his pillow and Anna turned to meet him head on, "Well...not much to tell. Small town kid. I had a younger brother, Jeffrey. He got picked on a lot. I'd get in fights to protect him, often lost those fights."

  
Anna chuckled and gave him a playful smile, "Not much has changed then."

  
"Yeah, Yeah...what about you?"

  
She sighed, "Standard only child. A little princess. Lots of books. Piano lessons and ballet. My mother made me take Miss Manners and charm school lessons, I hated them, but I wasn't to embarass her at parties. I guess...I never really got to be a kid. My parents were expecting a good marriage from me. Old fashioned and set the women's movement back about fifty years. They wouldn't let me be a little kid. Get dirty, fall down, all that stuff."

  
"If they could see you now."

  
Anna smiled, "My mother would faint at the impropriety."

* * *

 

The next morning, Rick and Anna woke and Ezekiel had already assigned groups of people to either Sasha, Michonne or Daryl. Rick told Anna to go with Sasha, while both Enid and Carl went with Michonne. While they trained, Rick met with Ezekiel.

  
"I still don't know if I trust Dwight, regardless how genuine he seems."

  
Ezekiel smiled and waved a finger at him, "Come now, Rick. Give Dwight time to show himself. He has personal pains due to Negan. I believe he is on board with our little revolution to the end. He has given us the locations of Negan's outposts, I believe by taking them, we will soon assume the upper hand."

  
Rick paced a bit, he was still unnerved by the presence of Shiva, "How many people do we have?"

  
"Hopefully, 60...and more to come. Jesus feels certain that he could procure 20 men from Hilltop without Gregory's knowledge. Dwight tells me that Negan has 60-75 men."

  
As Rick paced, his group appeared in the Great Hall, sweaty and dirty from training. Ezekiel raised his arms, "Ah, friends! How did training go?  
Sasha did something she had not done in awhile...she smiled, "Good. We have a lot of potential shooters, including this one here..."

  
She pointed at Anna and Anna just shrugged, "Beginners Luck."

  
Rick tried to hide the surprise from his face. Anna was scrappy and had gumption, but a warrior she was not. Having another sniper would help them out immensely.

  
"We'll have to comeback in a few days, Ezekiel, and pick up where we left off. Negan is expected at any time in Alexandria. We have to find supplies to help balance it out."

  
After bidding farewell to Ezekiel, they were soon on the road. For the next several hours they went from town to town scavenging for anything they could find to help pad the rations in Alexandria. They found rice, oats, instant potatoes, two giant bottles of ibuprofen and some miscellaneous rations here and there.  
He saw Anna toting her russack and it was bulging with clothes and some books.

  
They made it home just before sundown and Rick hopped out of the van to signal to whoever was on guard to let them in...but no one was there.

  
"Hey open the gates! We're back!"  
Suddenly, a small group of roamers converged on them, and Rick swiveled around to depose of them, but Michonne and Daryl waved him off. Rick finally saw Olivia running toward the gate.

  
"Olivia let us in!"

  
She ran to the gate as fast as she could, "I'm sorry! Rick!"

  
The gate swung open and once the van was through, Rick yelled at Olivia, "We could have been killed!"

  
Olivia burst into tears, "Rick. He's here. He killed Spencer."


	13. Chapter 13

Anna couldn't believe what they had come home to. Pure chaos. Wolves everywhere in Alexandria houses.  
Spencer dead.

  
Olivia said he had been seen on the street with Negan, walking...when Negan had sliced open his belly and all of his innards spilled to the ground. Olivia had ran to his side, but it was too late.

  
Anna went to retrieve Judith from Carol and sent Carl ans Enid straight home and to wait for either her or Rick before doing anything. Carol let Anna in and smiled sadly, "I guess you've heard about Negan."

  
"How long has he been here?"

  
"Yesterday. Wanted to wait for Rick."

  
Anna felt the nausea hit her like an eighteen wheeler and she choked it back down, "And Spencer?"

  
Carol sighed and picked Judith up from where she was sitting on the floor, "I don't know what happened. For all we know it could have been another message."

  
Anna nodded, the entire Monroe family had been wiped out since their group had arrived. She knew Carol was right...that Negan didn't need a reason at all to kill. She had seen it firsthand.

  
She took Judith from Carol and headed home...one hand hovering protectively at the gun on her hip.

* * *

 

Rick found the house that Negan had been taking over. He and his wolves were crowding the wrap around front porch and Negan had his feet up, and drinking a glass of ice water.

  
Before anyone could stop him, Rick made his way to Negan and yelled in his face, "I thought we had an agreement!"

  
Negan laughed, "Ah Rick, it's good to see you back."

  
As Negan rose to his feet, Rick continued to yell, his rage boiling over all at once, "You told me that you were reasonable! You slaughtered one of mine on the street!"

  
"That little fucker had it in for you, Rick. He wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. He made all sorts of promises to me about leading this place, just as long as you were dead and your Georgia dime of a wife could be all his. Hell, I wouldn't want that to happen. If I killed you, I'd take care of that piece myself."

  
Rick could only see red, he hated this man more than any other. More than the Governor, more than Gareth...

  
"I am a reasonable man, Rick. Your psycho bastard of a son took out six of my men. Did I punish him? Did I let my wolves have their way with him? No. Because as crazy as that little fucker is, I like him. If I had a son, I'd want him to have balls like Carl."

  
Rick took a few breaths and realized that moment was the best chance they had.  
"We have your supplies. They are at the gate."

  
Negan put his arm around Rick and laughed, "Now we're talking."

  
They walked together to the gates of the town, the wolves at their heels. Daryl and Michonne stood by the van with the supplies and looked at Rick with alarm in their eyes. Negan went to the back of the van and looked inside the the doors.

  
"Good haul, Rick. I'll take it."

  
Rick shook his head, "I thought you said half?"

  
Negan walked closer to him, his broad shoulders and chest hulking before Rick, "You know, don't worry about it. You guys keep all of it."

  
"A deal's a deal. Take half."

  
Negan looked pleased and half-smiled, "You heard him, fellas. Load up half."

Rick watched as the Wolves stocked their van with supplies and headed out the gate. Negan looked at him once more and mouthed, "Two weeks."

  
Olivia readied the gate and Rick turned on his heel and ran back to his house. When he opened the door, he saw Anna crying on the couch and Carl pacing the room. Enid was in the kitchen feeding Judith.

  
Anna looked at him sadly, "I know you didn't like Spencer...and at times he scared me. But he didn't deserve to die like that..."

  
"Anna...I need you to go to Sasha in the tower. I need you to tell her to take out Negan. This is the best chance we have. Carl, get your gun...come with me."

  
Anna jumped up, her gun on her hip and she looked to Enid, "Lock all the doors. Take Judith upstairs."

  
The three of them sprinted out of the door and scattered. Anna ran in the direction of the tower while Rick and Carl ran to the front gate. Practically, the whole town had assembled, and Michonne, Daryl, Carol, Glenn and Maggie were closest to the gate.

  
"I need Michonne ans Daryl to stay behind the gate. Have the townsfolk line up at the fence. Maggie and Glenn...come with me. We're ending this...right now."

  
Rick, Maggie and Glenn stepped out of the gate and watched the wolves caravan drive away. He raised his hand and before he knew it, three shots came from the tower. the driver was killed, but Negan survived, and he stumbled, pissed off out of the van with Lucille over his shoulder.

  
Maggie, Glenn and Rick all drew their weapons and he walked closer.  
"So this is how it fucking is, Rick?"

  
Rick nodded, "Yeah, this is how it is."

  
Negan walked closer, "Funny thing about snipers...after they shoot they kind of give up their location. That bitch is as good as dead."

  
Rick cocked his gun and was ready to end it and kill Negan, "You should probably stop talking."

  
He heard Glenn and Maggie follow suit behind him, and just as he squeezed the trigger...shots came from behind Negan and the guns flew from their hands. Rick felt the graze and roared in anger,  
Negan merely laughed, "Just because you never see us with guns...you assume we don't have them. You should make it a habit to never assume, Rick."

  
Rick tackled Negan at the midsection, both of them flying to the ground. They exchange punches to the face and Negan suddenly took the advantage. He rose to his feet and swung Lucille over his head, ready to drive her into his skull.

  
Rick thought about Anna...and Carl...He prayed Anna had left the tower after alerting Sasha, but knew what would happen if Negan killed him. She would be in more danger than ever...and so would his children.

  
Before the bat could swing, a gunshot and a laugh came from behind her gate, taking a large chunk out of Lucille's barrel. Negan was horrified.

  
"Fuck you, Negan. And Lucille, too!"

  
Carl. It was Carl.

  
"You pyscho little motherfucker! You are going to pay! Lucille is the only bitch I've ever loved and I will get vengeance for her! Bring that punk ass kid to me or I will kill all three of these folks. Line 'Em up, boys."

  
Four wolves lined Maggie, Glenn and Rick up and pushed them to their knees, their eyes facing the tower. Negan walked infront of them and chanted "Eenie, Meenie, Mine-y, Mo..." while pointing the damaged, but still lethal Lucille in their faces.

* * *

 

Anna had run as fast as her body had let her, and once she climbed the tower, Sasha seemed all too happy to take out Negan. Three shots and one dead man later, Anna watched as Negan had Rick on his knees, Lucille hovering above her husband's head.

She prayed quietly, knowing that she was looking at the end...they were beaten.

  
"No, no, no..."

  
Suddenly, Anna felt strong arms push her into the wall of the tower. Dazed, she sat up and looked towards Sasha, and saw a man with a blond ponytail on top of Sasha and beating her...

  
One of the wolves.

  
Sasha fought back, clawing and punching and finally pushed him off of her. Anna felt slow, but managed to reach for her gun. She stood up and met the man head on as he rose to his feet.

When he saw her standing primed to shoot him he just smiled, "Comeon baby, Negan would hate me hurting you. He can't stop talking about you."

  
Anna had just about enough.

  
"Well, that won't be a problem. I have a message for your boss."

  
With that, Anna shot him square in the face and then pushed his body out of the window of the tower, where it made a sickening squelch as it hit the ground.

* * *

 

Rick was on his knees when he saw the body with the long, fair hair fall from the tower.

  
Anna.

  
Tears stung at his eyes and he felt so helpless.

  
Negan still called for his son.

  
This was the end.

  
For a moment, Rick closed his eyes and waited for death.

  
And then he heard the shots and a familiar voice. When Rick opened his eyes, he saw Jesus, who appeared from no where, training his gun on Negan after killing two of his men. More wolves descended to help their leader, but Negan waved them off.

  
"Stand down. Don't fucking shoot."  
Before the men could obey, a bone-shaking roar pierced the silence and a large, orange tiger mauled three of the wolves.

  
"Oh Shit!"

  
Negan and his men retreated, terrified by the powerful beast. Negan called to Rick over his shoulder, "This is not over! You are fucked, fuckers!"

  
Rick saw Ezekiel call to Shiva, but before any pleasantries could be exchanged, Rick ran to the direction of the tower. His heart pounded in his ears and blood ran into his eyes. When he reached his destination, he went to find the body...

He turned over the body onto its back and saw a long-haired Wolf who had been shot in the face.

  
Hope spread through Rick's body as he ran up the stairs and found his wife tending to a badly beaten Sasha.

  
A strangled cry escaped his lips, "Anna-"

When she turned and looked up at him, her face was cut and starting to bruise. She ran to him with her arms outstretched and he caught her and held her close. He thought she was dead. He thought he had watched her die.

  
He touched her cheek gently, "Are you...did he...the baby...?"

  
Anna shook her head, "I got pushed into the wall. My face is all... I'm ok."

  
He kissed her softly and they both went to Sasha. Anna looked to Rick, "We need to get her to the clinic. She got pretty beat up."

  
Rick scooped Sasha up in his arms and Anna carried the sniper rifle. The right side of her face was turning a tinge purple and she asked timidly, "Is Negan dead?"

  
He shook his head, "No. We're going to war."

* * *

After Rick and Anna took Sasha to the clinic for care and rest, they went home where they met with their most trusted fighters. Thankfully, Ezekiel left Shiva in the bathroom at Michonne's house...Anna was afraid it would eat one of the children.

  
Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, Carol, Jesus, Ezekiel and Eugene all meandered in the Grimes living room, talking and strategizing their next move. Anna made coffee for everyone and felt the pit of her stomach bottom out, knowing that they were going to war.

Full-out, Flat-out war.

  
Eugene spoke up, "The day Abraham was killed, he and I were on a mission. We were looking for shell casings and an address. We were looking for an ammo manufacturing plant. A few days ago, I found it. And I have been making bullets since. If we could get enough bodies in, we will be in good shape. At first I was hesitant to aid in the killing of other human beings, but now...if I can help I will."

  
She watched as Rick nodded, "Gather everyone who is able. We work all day tomorrow and attack in the morning. Call an all-in meeting at the church the morning we leave. All of the people need to know. We all need to fight to end Negan's tyrrany."

Patrols had been boosted, Glenn was tasked with the tower while Sasha rested overnight, by the end of the meeting...everyone had gone home with the exception of Daryl. He looked moody and perhaps he might be wanting some company.

  
"Daryl, do you want to have dinner with us? You're welcome to stay..."

  
He shrugged, "I don't much feel like being alone, no. Which is weird, seein' as though I'm the loner of the bunch."

  
Anna smiled, "We can read some of 'The Two Towers', if you want. Our home is your home."

  
She saw a small smile pull appear at the corner of his mouth and he nodded, "Ok. Sure."

  
Anna went into the kitchen and filled a large pan with water, she was going to make macaroni and tomatoes again...it was easy and fed many. While she was at the sink, Rick appeared at her side and touched her right cheek and she winced.

  
"We should probably get some ice on that Sweet Thing."

  
Anna shook her head, "I'm fine."

  
"Have you felt...any cramping or anything?"

  
She shook her head again, "We're fine, baby."

  
His arms wrapped around her waist, "I might be gone...for awhile. And I need you to stay here with Carl and Judith and Enid. I'm taking all the fighters...except Daryl. I want him here, in charge of the town. Anna, if I don't...if something happens and I don't make it back home..."

  
She spun on her heel and met him eye to eye, "Don't you dare even finish that sentence, Rick Grimes. You are coming home. We don't die...not yet. We survive. We're winning this war and having a baby in relative peace. We're getting through this together."

  
His eyes softened and he nodded, "Yes ma'am...how did a Po-dunk sherriff's deputy like me get so lucky to marry someone like you?"

  
She chuckled, "Survival of the fittest, I suppose. Now look at you...you're a leader. A hero. Did you hear all those things Jesus was saying about you in there? How you were the man to rebuild society..."

  
"Yeah, I don't know about all of that. I've made a lot of mistakes...people have died...and there may be more."

  
Anna took his face in her hands, "If and when we win this war, do you think life will be better?"

  
Rick sighed and shrugged, "We can't just live under Negan's thumb. The more we give in the more he will take and it will get worse and never change."

  
"Then it's worth it."

* * *

 

After dinner, Rick cuddled with Judith in the living room as Enid, Carl and Anna passed the book back and forth while Daryl sat on the floor, listening to the story. Carl passed Anna the book and she smiled.

  
Rick enjoyed hearing Anna read with the kids, she had a nice voice and did different voices for the characters, and even got a bit animated and used her hands.

  
But it was when she read aloud, "War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend," that caught his attention.

  
Anna must have felt how on point that was, too, because she looked up and paused.

  
Later that evening, when Anna and Rick had settled into bed, they laid looking at each other almost nose to nose. It had become harder and harder to leave her to protect the town...he felt guilty and melancholy, wishing that he could just live his life in peace with his family. The walkers they could handle, but the people...the evil ones with plans...would make that impossible.

  
"After this is over. I want to take you out on a date."

  
Anna smiled, "That would be nice. Where would we go? What would we do?"

  
Rick shrugged, "I don't know, but I will figure out something. If this was the world before...what would you want to do?"

  
She looked thoughtful, "I always liked the drive-in. A double feature and a picnic basket. And I've always loved an all night diner that serves breakfast. "

  
Rick laughed and felt a bit surprised, "I'd thought you'd be more of the opera and fancy restaurant-type."

  
"Boring. I'd rather go dancing at a cowboy bar or go get ice cream. Two scoops."

  
She held up two fingers to emphasize, and he just smiled, "I feel like we're moving backwards. Baby, marriage...then dating."

  
"Things are different now. Time isn't the same here...gotta grab happiness when you can. There's no money, no doctors, no movies, no insurance, no government...and sadly no ice cream...what about you? What did you like to do?"

  
"Well...I liked to grill, had lots of cookouts. Carl played little league. Football on Sundays and some beer."

  
"Sounds nice."

  
Rick kissed her forehead, "We'll find things that will make us happy, as a family. We'll have traditions. We've just got to get out from under Negan. Make some rules and a society with Hilltop and the Kingdom. Maybe, at some point, someone will figure out ice cream, too."

  
She laughed, "From your mouth to God's ears."

  
He rested his hands at her waist and sighed, "It's getting harder to go. Even though I have to, I don't like leaving you."

  
"I'm no damsel in distress, constable."

"I know. You are actually quite scrappy, but with the baby..."

  
She nodded, "I know. It's just going to get harder, too. I'm praying all of this gets resolved before I'm too big and slow. Maybe...just maybe...it will all be over by then."

  
"I hope so."

  
He pressed one of his hands against her lower belly and tried to imagine what she'd look like with pregnant belly...and that led into thinking about what the birth would be like...and what their baby would look like...and somewhere in the future where society was somewhat rebuilt and he could take his wife and kids for ice cream.

  
Anna whispered, "You look a million miles away."

  
"I'm right here. I'm always here."

* * *

 

The next day, a large group mixed with those from Hilltop and the Kingdom and Alexandria followed Eugene to the munitions plant to work on supplies for the forthcoming war, while Rick, Ezekiel, Jesus, Michonne and Daryl all sat in the Grimes kitchen, hashing out plans and strategizing. Anna heard them talking that the next morning is when they would leave for their attack.

  
It could be days before Rick could come home.

  
The night before, he tried to talk to her about the possibility that he could not come home...that he could die. But she couldn't accept that. She would not allow herself to believe that. He would be there with her when the baby was born. He would be there to raise it along with their other children.

  
They survived. They always did and they would continue to.

  
She wanted to fight. She wanted to be in on the attack on Negan's sanctuary. She wanted to fight alongside her people and defend their town.

  
Most of all, she wanted to kill Negan herself.

  
But she knew many that wanted a piece of him, too.

  
She made a cup of tea and sat in the living room with Judith, listening to the discussion in the kitchen and drifiting in and out of her own thoughts, when Daryl came into the living room, his trusty crossbow at his side.

  
"Hey Sparky."

  
She smiled sadly, "Hey."

  
"Word has it you and me will be keepin' and eye on things round here. While they go attack."

  
"Yup."

  
Anna watched as he sat down on the couch and turned to her, "I know someone's gotta to be here, if there is an attack. But I wanna be there."

  
She nooded in agreement and he continued, "Rick wants me to stay with you and the kids. 'Til he gets back."

  
"Did he tell you why?"

  
Daryl shook his head, "Nah, I just thought it had to do with Carl running off. And keepin' ya'll safe."

  
Anna sighed and nodded, "That's part of it. But the truth is...I'm pregnant."

  
She could see it all click for Daryl, "Shit. It all makes sense. So...when?"

  
"Doctor Carson from Hilltop says February. I'm hoping all this Negan bullshit is over by then."

  
Daryl slouched a bit, "I s'ppose Rick is just being careful. After Lori..."

  
Anna nodded, "Yeah..."

  
"You know, I really like that story...the one we're readin."

She couldn't help but smile, she could tell. It was the only time she had seen Daryl feeling close to comfortable...when he wasn't out there in the elements. Even though she had totally found him intolerable at first with his nicknames and his prickly-ness...she had become very protective and affectionate for Daryl Dixon. She didn't know who hurt him...but she wanted to hurt them for what they did to him. He was gruff, but he was a sweetheart...and a brother to Rick.

  
"I'm glad you like it. We still have a lot more to go."

  
"Think we could read some more tonight?"

  
"I don't see why not."

  
"I really hope that chick from Rohan gets to fight. She wants to be there with her brother."

  
Anna smiled, she would have thought Daryl would've identified with Legolas before Eowyn, the Shieldmaiden, but it all went back to that old adage of judging books by their covers.

  
"Daryl Dixon, you never cease to amaze me."

* * *

  
The next morning, Anna, Carl, Judith and Enid watched Rick spoke in Gabriel's pulpit. Her stomach was making flip flops in the pew. She believed in him. She knew he had to lead the raid. But that didn't make her feel any better about it.  
Eugene and his team spent all day and night producing enough ammunition to be used. The fighters would be taking the school busses that Ezekiel and the group from the Kingdom had arrived in.

  
"I know that many of you have not been called on to fight...but if you are able, you absolutely must. We cannot live under the tyrrany of Negan and the Wolves. If we want to survive, live in relative peace and not be terrorized in the wake of making a new society, we hve to strike first and maintain an upper hand. First we attack the Sanctuary, and then the known outposts where more of Negan's men are located. If we are able to whittle down their numbers, we stand a fighting chance. I need you to be with me. I need the whole of Alexandria to stand with Hilltop and The Kingdom. Together, we will make a strong, interwoven society with trade and opportunities."

  
Anna was surprised of the multitude of claps the congregation responded with.  
Outside the church, the buses were being loaded with guns, ammunition and rations. Rick stood with his hands on his hips, overseeing the process. His gun and machete were on his holster and Anna could tell he was ready for battle.

No turning back.

  
She held Judith close and stepped up beside him wordlessly. He turned to look at her and took her by the hand, "I don't know how long we will be at war, but it's going to work out in our favor. I promise you."

  
Anna nodded, "I know."

  
"You know?"

  
"I've said it before and I will say it again, Rick Grimes. I'd happily follow you to hell and back. I believe in you."

  
She saw him smile softly and he squeezed her hand, "I need you, Daryl and Carl to take care of who we leave here. With Sasha still healing, you and Glenn may need to alternate in the tower. When all this is over, we're gonna build the town's defenses and align ourselves with the other communities. We will have a strong network with many leaders, and hopefully, this will allow me to take care of my family...and welcome our little one into the world."

  
Anna smiled, "It sounds like a plan...I love you."

  
And with that, Rick pulled Anna to him and held her for a long moment before kissing her gently, "I love you more, Anna. Take care of our kids. Help Daryl. You've got this."

  
Rick kissed Judith on the head and then walked to the side to talk to Carl and Daryl. she watched Rick and Carl embrace and felt her stomach flip-flop again. When he reached Daryl, they both looked serious and talked lowly. Finally. Rick stepped up into the bus and turned to look at her once more.

  
"I love you!" He called from the bus and Anna felt tears spring into her eyes. She nodded and waved at him and watched as he sat near the front of the bus with Jesus.

  
Daryl, Carl and Enid walked over to her and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Daryl put an arm around her shoulder, which surprised her.

  
"We've got this, Sparky. Ain't no one gonna stop Rick Grimes."

  
Anna allowed herself to smile...she believed that.  
"Comeon guys...let's go home. We've got a lot to do."

* * *

 

Rick signaled for the busses to stop about a half mile from where Negan's Sanctuary was. Ezekiel, Jesus and Rick all stood outside the busses and compared notes.

  
"How is everyone feeling?"

  
Jesus shrugged, "Nervous."

  
Rick looked to Ezekiel, "Sasha said quite a few of your men were good shots. If they aim for the windows and someone is there...have them light them up."

  
Ezekiel nodded, "They are prepared and ready for your call."

  
Rick felt the adrenaline beginning to pump in his veins, "Alright. Let's get everyone into position."

  
The busses drove to the gates of the Sanctuary, and everyone unloaded and stood in front of the gruesome, walker-traps. Rick felt the charge in the air as everyone stood shoulder to shoulder brandishing their weapons. Michonne was on the front line, and they met eyes briefly.

  
Then Rick fired his gun into the air and yelled, "Negan! Show yourself!"

  
Moments passed in silence. Rick gripped his gun tighter and suddenly, Negan appears in the distance above them.  
"Oh, ya gotta be fucking kidding me. What the fuck is this Rick! You wanna compare dick sizes? 'Cause I guarantee mine's bigger."

  
Rick called back, "This isn't a threat, this is an opportunity for peace. We are three colonies united in saying that the days of the Wolves talking half our supplies and submitting to your will are over! I know there are women and children in there...we can do this peacefully if you just...surrender."

  
Negan laughed, "No fucking way. So you're saying your group of accountants and executives and teachers are gonna go to war with me and my wolves?"

  
Rick turned his head slightly and spoke to Jesus, "Get ready. It's going like I thought it would."

  
Negan motioned inside the doors of the sanctuary, "I have another plan. A better one."

  
Rick watched as he drug a limpy, overweight figure from the door and he heard Jesus exhale incredulously, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

  
Negan paraded Gregory, the chicken shit leader of Hilltop out beside him and Gregory looked like he was going to piss his pants. Negan poked him in the gut sharply and Gregory sputtered loudly.

  
"Hilltop officially stands with Negan and the Wolves. Any resident of Hilltop who attacks on the Sanctuary will have no home to got to. You...and your family...will be kicked out to survive on your own."

  
Rick kept looking at Negan, but saw a few men retreat from his periphery.  
"I understand if you can't...Jesus..."

  
Jesus shook his head bitterly, "I'm going to kill Gregory myself. Besides, there is nothing for me at Hilltop but a bunch of books."

  
Rick nodded and watched as Negan looked angered with Gregory, "You said it would be half of their motherfucking army. You are pathetic!"

  
Negan pushed Gregory backwards down the steps and then composed himself and adjusted Lucille on his shoulder.

  
"I could see where your offer would be better for my people, but I'd got to say...my answer is somewhere between 'Fuck No' and 'Go Fuck Yourselves'!"

  
Rick gave the signal and the entirety of their army started shooting the windows out of the sanctuary. The sounds of breaking glass echoed through the streets and soon there was return fire. Rick waved everyone back, "Everyone back on the busses, just like we planned!"

  
All the members fit themselves on to two buses leaving the third to be driven through the fence by Jesus. Rick looked at him as he prepared to take down the gate.

  
"I feel like I should be doing this."

  
Jesus shook his head, "No. You get our people to safety. I will be right behind you. This only works if the fence is down."

  
Moans and groans and shuffling feet could be heard approaching and when Rick turned, he saw what they had planned for...a herd of ravenous D.C. walkers being drawn to the noise.  
Rick looked to Jesus as he started the engine, "Go. Once the fence is down...get out and run."

  
Jesus nodded in return and Rick ran off to one of the buses loaded with their people, "Go. Go now!"

  
Rick watched as the realization hit Negan. His walls were down. His Sanctuary was overrun.

  
Negan would be too busy fighting while the allied teams would be attacking the outposts.

* * *

 

Back in Alexandria, Anna sat near the fresh grave of Spencer Monroe.

There were a lot of things that she would change if she could. She would have gone back and rebuffed his advances. She wouldn't have tried to be his friend.  
Rick had told her about what Negan had told him...why Negan had killed Spencer. He wanted Negan to kill Rick, and put him in charge. This would have left her pregnant and alone with the kids.

  
She should probably hate Spencer. But she didn't. She pitied him.

  
And she couldn't help feeling the slightest bit responsible for his death.

  
A voice came from behind her, "Hey Sparky. Glenn needs a break."

  
She turned around and pushed herself up to her feet, "Sure."

  
Daryl wore his leather jacket and carried his crossbow, "You sure you gonna be ok up there? In the condition..."

  
Anna waved him off, "I'll be ok. That way I can be the first one to see when they come home. Make sure Carl and Enid eat and one of you all feeds Judy?"

  
Daryl smirked, "No problem."

  
She stopped in the middle of the road, "Daryl...I...thank you. Thank you for caring about Rick...all of us."

  
With a shrug, "There you go again, gettin' all emotional. Ain't no thing, Anna. We're family. Now go relieve Glenn. I'll send someone up with food."

* * *

 

Rick counted their numbers as they made camp in a field about two miles away from the Sanctuary. Jesus showed up on foot about an hour later than the busses did. Phase two was about to begin. They would start attacking the outposts that belonged to Negan and housed more of his men. He would lead a team and Ezekiel would lead another.

  
Ezekiel, Aaron, Jesus and Michonne all held counsel over cans of baked beans. Shiva, the massive tiger gnawed on what was left of a roamer. Rick didn't like feeling afraid of the large, predatory cat. He knew she could sense his fear.

  
Ezekiel must have read the look on his face, "Do not worry, Rick. She is busy. You aren't even on her radar."

  
Jesus looked up from his food, "So how many?"

  
Rick sighed, "Well, the handful of those from Hilltop who left before the fight and then five from the Kingdom. Still strong otherwise. We've only got a few days to get back home. Once they clear out the Sanctuary and realize what has happened to the outposts...they will come for us. More than likely Alexandria since we were the ones who ruined their agreements with Hilltop and the Kingdom. Michonne...I am sending you back to prepare, to tell the others how the attack went."

  
Michonne nodded, "Anything else?"

  
"Tell Daryl and Anna to get our people ready. Negan is coming."

 


	14. Chapter 14

Anna spent the night in the tower, waiting in silence. Praying to whoever would listen that her husband and friends would make it home safe. Daryl had sent Enid up with a bowl of rice and beans for her. Enid sat with her for a bit, her dark hair in her face and sullen, but not as sullen as she was before she started to live with them.

  
"Anna...do you think this will work?"

  
Anna looked up from mindlessly spooning food into her mouth, while keeping her eyes trained on the road on the horizon.

  
"Yes. It might be difficult. But I believe in Rick...he knows what he is doing."

  
Enid sighed and tucked some hair away from her face, "He scares me sometimes...he's intense."

  
Anna smiled, she knew that feeling all too well, "Yeah. He can be. But he is a good man. He is only that way because he has to be that way for the people he loves."

  
"Do you really think he thinks of me as one of his own?"

  
Anna felt her hormones kick in and all of the maternal things brewing inside of her made tears spring in her eyes, "Oh honey, you've got to give him some time. He's never dealt with a teenage girl as his daughter."

  
"Well, neither have you."

  
"Ah, but I used to be a teenage girl, so I have that advantage. Once all of this is over, and maybe we have time to grow...you'll see. He already calls you, Carl and Judith 'our kids'...and Lord knows you all are none of my children biologically. But you're mine now. And I could not be happier."

  
She saw a small smile pull at the corner of Enid's lips, and then it suddenly disapeared. Enid pointed to the road, "Look!"

  
When Anna turned, one of the vans had returned. Anna and Enid both made their way down from the tower to hear the news. Anna ran to the gate and told Enid to find Daryl.

  
She waited to open the gate until she saw who was driving...it was Michonne. Soon, a small crowd gathered as the van made it's way through. Carol, Glenn, Maggie and finally Daryl appeared.  
Michonne stepped out of the van and Anna recognized six of the mixed detail from both The Kingdom and Hilltop...but no Rick. Michonne must've recognized the look on her face and came to meet her.

  
"He's fine. Preparing to raid the outposts. Aaron, Eric and Jesus with him. Ezekiel and his men have the other."

  
Daryl looked concerned, "Did it go ok? As planned?"

  
Michonne adjusted her sword on her back, "Yeah. Except Negan coerced Gregory to threaten the Hilltop folks to retreat. We only lost a handful to that, and a handful from the Kingdom to the fight."

  
Daryl grumbled under his breath, but Anna could only make out "Gregory" and "pussy."

  
Carol pulled her jacket tighter, "He sent you back? Why?"

  
"Just in case someone managed to get out of the sanctuary and attack us. Is Eugene at the munitions factory? We're going to need more within a day."

  
Daryl nodded, "Sonofabitch never leaves, he's like a machine. So are Tara and Rosita and the rest that have been working."

  
Michonne nodded, "Good. Rick is hoping to be back within a day. In and outside ut shutting down the outposts. We need to be ready. Negan is going to come for us. As soon as he can."

  
Anna felt her heart drop at the ominous tone Michonne had. War was coming home...and soon.

* * *

 

Rick and Jesus had to hide their ebullient feelings of success. Despite how well it went taking down the outpost...the remembered finding Aaron with Eric's body, a knife in his hand after plunging it into his skull.

  
They returned to Alexandria to bury one of their own.

  
Again.

  
And then they would prepare to fight. But in the meantime, he couldn't wait to see his wife and kids again. Even just for a blessed moment.

  
Rick saw the gates of Alexandria not far down the road, and his heart leapt into his throat. He had been gone only a little over a day, but it had felt like a week.

  
Olivia let them in through the gates and Michonne and Daryl ran up to them.

Jesus went to help Aaron with Eric's body and both Michonne and Daryl looked shaken by the sight.

  
Daryl sighed, "Jesus..."

  
Rick put his hands on his hips, "Yeah. But we still took down the outpost. So we are in good shape..."

  
Michonne shook her head, "Rick...Ezekiel already came back. He lost everyone. Including Shiva. He failed."

  
He felt stunned, and immediately on guard...if Ezekiel had come back before them and lost all of his men and his tiger...The Wolves at the outposts could have alerted Negan."

"Everyone in the church. Now. We need to organize."

  
Daryl and Michonne scattered and Jesus followed Rick as he jogged to his home. He needed to alert his family. Rick burst through the door and found Anna and Judith curled up on the couch asleep with a blanket.

  
So peaceful.

  
Carl and Enid ran down the stairs, hearing the door thrust open. Anna stirred and once she sat up and focused, she sprung from the couch with Judith on her hip and ran to greet him. She must've recognized the look on his face and immediately asked, "What is it?"

  
"Get all of your weapons and come with me. We managed to take down one outpost. Ezekiel lost the other...along with all his men and Shiva."

  
Anna's eyes widened, "They killed the tiger?"

  
Rick nodded, "We need to get everyone to the church."

  
He watched as she looked to the kids, "Get your jackets and your weapons, I will get Judith's stuff together."

  
She retreated up the stairs with Enid and Carl and Rick followed, motioning to Jesus to stay. Once in Judith's room, he watched as she changed her and put her in a sweatshirt that was a bit too big along with jeans and her shoes.

  
"Anna-"

  
"Rick, I'm ok. I promise. I'm just tired. Spent the night in the tower."

  
He leaned against the wall in Judith's room and smiled faintly, "You've really upped your game...gotten tough."

  
Anna turned and smiled at him, "Gotta be. For my family."

  
She strapped Judith to her chest and put diapers and a blanket in the russack Dr. Carson had given her at Hilltop. Anna walked over to their bedroom and grabbed "The Lord of the Rings", the picture of Tom and Jeannie and Jeannie's pearls. After putting them in the bag, she strapped on her gun holster and her axe and turned to look at him.

  
"I'm ready. Should we get some applesauce? For Judy?"

  
Rick nodded, but he took a moment to take her by the shoulders, "I'm glad we're together. Right now."

  
Anna nodded and kissed him gently, her kisses still stunned him. So incredibly lucky, and so incredibly scared at the same time. So much to lose.

  
"No matter what happens, we stick together. Got it?"

  
Anna nodded and they made their way downstairs. Rick grabbed a few jars of applesauce from the pantry and put them in Anna's bag. Once Carl and Enid returned downstairs, they all made their way to the church.

  
Gabriel looked at them sadly, but let them in. Carol, Daryl, Glenn and Maggie and a handful of other residents waited for them there. Rick stood in the pulpit once more and thought about what to say, "Ezekiel was unable to take the second outpost. With that news, we have to be prepared. Negan sees us as the ones who disrupted his power at Hilltop and the Kingdom. Before he met us, it was all copacetic. He is coming here. This is where the attack will happen."

  
Michonne entered quietly, with Ezekiel nowhere to be found. She took a seat next to Anna and the kids, her face unreadable as usual.

  
Jesus spoke up, "Do we need someone to go to the munitions shop? Tell them?"  
Rick nodded, "Yes, we are going to need everything they have made..."

  
Suddenly, a large blast could be heard outside. And another, and another, and another.

  
Judith wailed in Anna's arms and his wife's eyes went wide with fear. Her hand stroked Judith's head and pulled her closer.

  
Rick made for the door and told everyone to stay put, but naturally, Daryl and Jesus were hot on his heels. Smoke rose from a few houses, and there was a crater in a nearby yard.

  
"Jesus, go check that house for anyone..."

  
And then he saw it...a small, deadly grenade sailing over his head.

  
"Everybody down!"

  
Rick dove to the ground with his hands over his head, and there was a deafening silence before the explosion. Once the coast was clear, He got up and made a break for the gate. And once he got there, he saw exactly what he didn't want to see.

  
"Rick! Come out, come out wherever the fuck you are!"

  
Negan stood on the hood of one of his trucks with Lucille over his shoulder as he pulled a pin on a grenade with his teeth and threw it high over the gate.  
The explosion rattled, and Negan saw Rick sneering at him, "Ah, there you are. You know. We coulda been fucking friends, Rick. But you fucked that up, so it's on. I'm coming for you, that serial killer son of yours and your pretty wife. Don't worry, I'll treat her like a queen...almost as good as I treat Lucille."

  
Rick gripped his gun and refused to be baited. He turned on his heel and ran towards the church. He had to get everyone out. Maybe to Hilltop.

  
He heard Negan calling after him, "Come on, nothing? I was hoping for some of your scrappiness."

  
As Rick ran, he saw grenades raining down from every direction. Explosions left and right.

* * *

 

Anna paced in the church, Michonne had her sword drawn and everyone else was armed. Judith would not stop crying. the explosions were louder and more frequent. Suddenly, Rick and Daryl barreled through the door.

  
"We've got to get out. Get to Hilltop. They are bombing us with grenades."

  
Anna felt her heart get constricted in a panic vise. She had a baby on her chest and one in her belly. She had to keep them safe.

  
Rick pulled her by the arm and Enid and Carl followed. Michonne called to them, "Ezekiel...I will go get him. Try and get to one of the busses."

Anna ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She pressed Judith to her chest with her hands and ran alongside Rick, Carl, Enid and Michonne. Alexandria was dusty, smoldering and the grenades just continued to fall. She could feel the dust in her lungs, but she could not stop until they were to safety. Residents were scattered in the street, limbs lost and bleeding out.

  
They had to get out. They had to get to safety...away from Negan. It feels like no matter how they tried, they could not get the upper hand on him.

  
An explosion knocked them all to the ground...Rick was out...stunned. Anna fell to her knees beside him and Judith wailed.

  
"Rick...Rick...wake up. You need to be up!"

  
Michonne took Rick by the arm, and waved Carl and Enid over and they drug him on the side of a home. Anna felt anxiety pulling at her skin, they were under full-blown attack...houses were crumbling, explosions thundered, and there was absolutely nowhere to run.  
Negan, once again had cornered them.

At some point, their luck was bound to run out.

  
Maybe this was it.

  
Michonne took her by the shoulders, "Anna...look at me. You need to breathe."

  
Anna didn't feel tough. She felt weak.

  
Suddenly, the explosions stopped and the only sound that could be heard were vehicles pulling driving along the streets of the town. Anna's heart thumped in her ears...the Wolves had come to finish them.

  
A disembodied voice could be heard from the street "Rick! Rick Grimes!"

  
Anna wanted to see who it was, but Michonne pushed her away and drew her sword, "Stay here. I'll be back."

  
Anna drew her own weapon and Enid and Carl followed suit. Anna's eyes drifted to Rick and saw that her husband was once again unconcious and bloodied. She was sure that he had suffered more concussions than an prizefighter or a professional football player.

  
She heard voices approaching, one of them was Michonne's...but she did not drop her weapon until all was revealed. Michonne appeared with Daryl and Dr. Carson from Hilltop.

Anna was flabbergasted, "What...what are you doing here?"

  
Dr. Carson shrugged, "When Gregory returned from being a turncoat, it didn't sit well with a lot of us. So we loaded up the willing folks and came here to help. Negan's men are gone. We ran them off."

  
Anna let her arms drop and she started crying. Once again. Somehow saved.  
"Thank you."

  
Dr. Carson nodded, "We have a lot of injured. Let me take a look at Rick, then we can get him back home to rest. I don't think the Wolves will stay away too long...Alexandria's defenses are down. We have plenty of trailers at Hilltop. I think you should all come back with us."

  
Anna nodded and Daryl put a hand on her shoulder in comfort as they all watched examine Rick. After a few minutes he looked up and sighed, "Looks like shell shock and a concussion. Let's get him home."

* * *

 

Everything hurt.

  
That was the only thing he could make sense of.

  
"Hey. Rick? Baby? I'm here."

  
His eyes felt like they were stuck in place and he could not focus. He heard Anna's voice and struggled to find her.

  
"It's ok...we're back home."

  
He felt the softness of her palm against his cheek and he laid still for a moment, and waited for everything to come to him.

  
"The Wolves...Negan..."

Her voice lowered and became quiet, "Dr. Carson came with some men from Hilltop. They didn't take kindly to Gregory's antics and came for back up. He ran them off...for now."

  
Her face started to take shape, though everything was still fuzzy. He tried to sit up but winced in pain. Anna's hand on his chest settled him back into bed.

  
"Woah, easy tiger. I'd feel better about you running headlong into the breach with some sort of helmet...you have a concussion. Again."

  
Rick placed his hands on hers, "The kids?"

  
"Totally fine. Helping Dr. Carson with the others. Michonne and Daryl are with them."

  
Anna's face look worn. She was covered in dust from the explosions. Rick rolled sideways but kept her eyes on her as he touched her stomach tenderly, "You ok?"

  
She nodded, "I almost broke. Not as strong as I thought. Once you were down, I thought we were goners. That Negan had finally got us and there was nowhere to run. Rick...the damage here...it's really bad. Most people...those that are left...they are packing up. Dr. Carson says there is room in Hilltop...he offered the Grimes family rooms at the mansion. I think we should go."

  
Rick saw the look on her face and nodded, "I think we should, too. has Ezekiel shown himself yet?"

  
"Yeah. Whatever happened...whatever he was feeling about his men and Shiva...he has moved on to anger. Wants to hang those Wolves...and hang them high."

  
Rick squeezed her hand, "Sweet Thing, you and the kids start packing us up. In the meantime...I need to talk to Ezekiel, Michonne, Jesus and Daryl. D'ya think you can round them up for me?"

  
She nodded and pressed her lips to his forehead, "I'll be right back. Don't try and get up.

* * *

 

While Rick spoke with this closest allies...Anna sent the kids to pack their rooms and she packed Judith's belongings into a little duffle bag. She couldn't help but be emotional...another new home...when this one felt more and more like where they were supposed to belong by every passing day.

Judith's clothes, toys and little baby shoes all went into the bag, as well as diapers and cloth diapers Anna had made from old bedsheets that were stripped off mattresses by the Wolves.

  
Once this was was all over, she hoped they could return to their little house, the place they fell in love and made a family. The door opened and Carl appeared looking frustrated.

  
"Not all of the books will fit."

  
Anna smiled, loving what a book worm he had become, "I think we should take just our favorites. Two a piece. Besides, Jesus tells me his entire trailer is filled with books...I'm sure he will let us read them if he likes. My hope is we can come back here someday. Live in relative peace."

  
While she was folding Judith's clothes, Carl threw his arms and hugged her, resting his head against her back. Anna was surprised, but it warmed her heart. Carl said nothing as he let go and made his way out of the room.

  
After Judith was packed, Anna went downstairs to the kitchen and packed up whatever rations they could take with them that wouldn't spoil. When she stood before the sink, she looked outside to the garden and saw it had been blown to bits by Negan's grenades.

  
Tears came again; they were hot, fast and hormonal. That little garden she worked so hard in...gone. She felt ridiculous for crying, because she knew that this loss was not as severe as others. Phillip. Lori. Abraham. Morgan.

Even Spencer.

  
"Hey Sparky. You alright?"

  
Anna turned to see Daryl, doing what he does best...resting his crossbow on his shoulder and being the most loyal person she had ever met. She wiped her eyes with her fingers and inhaled.

  
"Yeah. I'm good. Just got the blues about my garden."

  
Daryl came over and looked out the window and his face turned grim, "Goddammit. Those assholes."

  
"It's silly to cry over, but I've got good excuses. Maybe I could help with the gardens in Hilltop. I've heard they have a few dairy cows. Maybe I could learn to make cheese."

  
He sighed, "We're leaving in a few hours. Making a caravan. Ezekiel is going to the Kingdom to bring back more of his people. All of us, in one centralized place."

* * *

 

When the others had come and gone and they resolved to leave Alexandria under the cover of night, Rick managed to get out of bed unsteadily and wrap his arms around his wife's waist as she packed their clothes for the road to Hilltop. She turned around, worry awash on her pretty features.

  
"Rick Grimes. You shouldn't be up."

  
Rick pressed his hips to hers and smiled, "I couldn't help it."

  
He saw her defenses fall away, knowing that the tough exterior was harder to keep up than she let on. Anna touched his face gently and smiled, "I'm glad you're ok. I need to you to take better care of that skull of yours."

  
He chuckled, "I don't think I have a concussion."

  
"You sound like Carl.

  
Rick kissed her softly, "Hilltop is the best place to be. With everyone. We don't die, right? We survive. This is just temporary. I would like to come back to Alexandria for good. Build it up. Make it strong. Raise our family here."

  
She nodded, "We made it here. Our family. We fell in love here. It's about as close to a home that we'll ever have."

  
Rick shook his head, "Nah. We have each other. As long as we have that, we're home."

  
She smiled, "Rick. I can't lie to you. I'm scared. Negan is much scarier than those mindless walkers roaming. He can think, organize, trick..."

  
He understood completely. Since all this began, men have evolved into the monsters.

  
"I know baby, I know. It's ok to be scared. But that has got to drive you to survive, Anna. Remember...we don't die."

  
Rick put his fingers beneath her chin and tipped it upwards, "Say it, Anna."

  
Her green eyes glassed over and she repeated, "We don't die."

  
He kissed her forehead, "Alright. Let's get packed and to the vans."

* * *

 

Right before nightfall, Anna helped what was left of the residents of Alexandria pack up their belongings and some rations in preparation of the journey to Hilltop. She stood with Carl and Enid, who was carrying Judith.

Soon Carol came to join them, a canvas bag hung at her shoulders, "I guess this is goodbye. What a strange little town."

  
Anna nodded, "I think we'll be back. Maybe not before spring. But I'd like to come back."

  
Truth of the matter was, she wanted to come back. She wanted to raise her kids in that house...the one next to Tom and Jeannie's house. She would make the garden bigger and better than before. She would build a greenhouse. Their people would flourish...once Negan was out of the way.

  
She was lost in her thoughts and only broke from her reverie once someone took her by the hand. Anna turned to see her husband, roughed up and worse for wear, but his eyes as blue as ever.

  
"You ready, Sweet Thing?"

  
Anna nodded firmly, "As long as you're with me."

  
Rick led her to the van and they joined Carl, Enid, Judith, Carol and Daryl on the floor. When they began to drive away from Alexandria, Anna felt tears stream down her cheeks...even though the lights were out, she could see their home from there.

* * *

  
The drive to Hilltop was silent. Everyone was tired and sad. Carl didn't even want to read. Anna fell asleep holding on to Rick's arm, her head resting on his shoulder. He watched her eyelashes flutter with sleep. He couldn't wait to lay down in a bed with her, find some comfort for a few hours before the horror came home to roost again.

  
Rick wanted to take care of her, put some fears to rest. The walkers they could handle, but Negan needed to go. Once he was gone...Alexandria could be rebuilt, trade could be open...and maybe there would be peace. Anna could have their baby, they could be a family and not a war machine.

  
The caravan drove all night and when they finally arrived, Jesus got out of the van and called to the guard on the towering gate. Once inside, Rick woke Anna gently and her eyes opened with panic, and he touched her face gently, "Shhh...it's ok. We're at Hilltop."

  
Anna exhaled in relief and soon, once retrieving their things, the Grimes family was being led to the mansion with Daryl by Dr. Carson. Enid and Carl were given small rooms next door to each other while Daryl and Rick and Anna were shown to two rooms just across the hall.

  
Dr. Carson pulled Rick aside, "Will the baby be ok with you all for the night? I can Have someone bring up one of our cribs tomorrow."

  
Rick nodded, "Yeah, she will be fine tonight. Thanks, Doctor."

  
"I'd like to check Anna out tomorrow. See how things are progressing. Yesterday was a lot of stress."

  
He felt a grim expression wash over him and he nodded, "I'll tell her. Sounds like a good idea."

  
Rick shut the door behind them and watched as Anna settled Judith on the double bed with one of her baby blankets, and stood briefly to shimmy out of her shoes and jeans.

  
Jesus, that woman.

Every little thing she did...he found irresistible.

  
He couldn't help himself and strode up behind her and pulled her to him by her hips, her ass pressed against his pelvis.  
Anna chuckled, "I think we should wait until Judith has her own bed, Constable."

  
She spun around and wrapped her arms around his neck, and his hands traveled to rest on her bottom. He knew she was right, but he hadn't touched her like that in awhile.

  
"I know...I just...couldn't resist. You're so pretty."

  
She smiled, "You're not so bad yourself."

  
He held on to her a bit longer, "Dr. Carson wants to give you a check up when we are up and about."

  
Anna looked solemn, "Worried about the stress, right?"

  
Rick kissed her sweetly, "We're gonna finish this. Finish him. Then you will have little to stress about. I'm gonna take care of you, Anna. No worries or wants."

  
"I am gonna take care of you, too. And the kids. I love you, Rick."

  
Rick kissed her again, this time more deeply and asked lightheardedly, "If you could have anything you wanted...right now...what would it be?"

  
Anna looked thoughtful for a moment and laughed, "Honestly...all I have been able to think of is a cold bottle of Cheerwine and my Nana's banana pudding. Silly food wishes. Other than that...I have everything I've ever wanted. How about you?"

  
"Just you and the kids. And maybe a few cold beers."

  
She smiled warmly and gave him an indescribable look, "So...while you were gone, Enid and I had a talk...when all of this is over...could you get to know Enid a bit better? I know...she's not biologically ours...but she wants to be apart of all of this..."

  
Rick nodded, he could try, but had never been able to understand teenage girls.  
"Of course. Probably good practice for when Judith grows up, too."

  
Anna chuckled, "No doubt. That girl is gonna be our mold-breaker."

  
He watched as Anna eased back down onto the small bed and stroked Judith's cheek as she slept. Rick slipped out of his jacket, placed his holster on the table and took off his shoes and slid into bed with them. He pulled the blanket up over them and put his arms around the both of them. Anna gave him a final, sleepy smile as she drifted off.

  
Rick Grimes had everything he could ever want.

* * *

 

The next day, Anna awoke in the small bed with Rick and Judith in the late morning. She was exhausted. Her body screamed at her from the joints and muscles. She was almost 12 weeks pregnant.

  
She eased out of bed and gave a final look at Rick and his daughter sleeping peacefully and pulled out her toothbrush, toothpaste and brush from her bag. She needed to go see Dr. Carson for a check up. She silently prayed that she and her unborn child could stick this out together.

  
She wanted the baby more than words could express. Anna could not wait to see what her baby with Rick would look like. How it would be to hold them...and see Rick and the baby together.

  
Anna felt the tears fall, but shamed herself silently for crying. She needed to be tough. They were at war. When the war ended, there was plenty of time for crying.

  
After cleaning herself up a bit down the hall, Anna came back to find Rick and Judith awake and playing on the bed. Rick smiled at her warmly and asked, "Did you sleep ok?"

  
Anna shrugged, "Slept decently. It will be nice if Judith is able to get her own bed. It's a little small. I tried to clean up. But forgot they don't have running water here."

  
Rick stood, still holding Judith, "You going to see Dr. Carson?"

  
"Yeah. I suppose you'll be rallying the troops?"

  
He stroked hair away from her face, "Yeah. I have a feeling Negan isn't going to wait too long. We need a plan. Fast. He has been smarter and faster this whole time. We can't let that happen again."

  
Anna understood, she longed for this to be over. She longed for the days that they only had to worry about keeping the town fed and the walkers out.

  
"I can take Judith with me, so you can plan."

  
Rick smiled and kissed her, "Meet me after. I want to hear what the Doctor says. I know you'd rather be at Alexandria. But I'm glad to have a Doctor nearby."

  
She agreed with him on that, it was nice to know Dr. Carson was in the same large house as them, if she should need them. Anna took Judith from Rick and kissed him one last time, "Will do. Catch you on the flip side, constable."

  
Anna carried a happily babbling Judith downstairs and knocked on Dr. Carson's door.

  
"Oh hey, Anna. Come on in."

She stepped in and shut the door behind her, "Rick mentioned you wanted to give me a check up. Hope you don't mind that I brought Judy..."

  
Dr. Carson laughed, "Of course not. Has she ever had a check up?"

  
Anna looked at Judith and shrugged, "I know...when she was born...Maggie's dad did a lot of the medical stuff. He was a veterinarian. But I don't think so...not recently."

  
He shrugged, "I would be happy to, if you want?"

  
"Sure."

  
He checked both Judith and Anna out. When Anna stepped onto his scale, he let out a disapproving sigh.

  
"You should be gaining weight. You need to eat. I know you have been in dire situations as of late, but you need at least two things for this pregnancy to go well. Get enough rest and eat. Got it?"

  
Anna nodded, knowing that he was right, "How's Judy?"

  
Dr. Carson picked Judith up, "She's right on track for age. She is talking and looking like she is gonna walk any day. Developmentally, she is perfect. She's on the slight side, but completely healthy."

  
Judith played with his stethoscope and Anna smiled. In her estimation, Judith was perfect in every way. He handed Judith back to Anna and made sure she understood.

  
"Anna, if you don't eat a lot, at least eat frequently. You need to keep your strength up. At this point in the game, you should be able to hear your baby's heartbeat. But we're lacking the technology. I'm sorry for that, I know it's special."

  
She shrugged, "Just as long as you can hear it...that's all I need."

  
Dr. Carson nodded, "Eat. Gain some weight. If you notice changes or need anything...come see me. Ok?"

  
Anna nodded and thanked him, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

 

"It feels good to have all my people in one place again. This was an excellent idea, Rick."

  
Rick turned to Ezekiel and nodded, "I think being unified in one place is the best idea. We can cull our resources and make plans for the fight to come...Jesus was telling me about a little town, not far from here. I say week keep the busses there and some of our more vulnerable folks. Send a third of our forces there. And if anything happens to Hilltop, we are ready."

  
Michonne looked concerned, "You're thinking Hilltop will fall?"

  
Rick shook his head and looked out of the window, "I just want to be prepared. For any scenario...so let's get people moved. Send our troops to the town down the road. Keep the busses fueled. We waste no time. For all we know...Negan is moving in right now."

  
With that, the meeting dispersed and only Rick, Daryl and Michonne remained. They stood in silence, until Rick spoke up, "I have more plans. I need you all to help me execute them. I need to us to find all of the working cars in the area..."

  
Rick explained his ideas and soon, Michonne and Daryl had left and he was all alone in the room. He was lost in his thoughts until he saw Anna carrying Judith outside, visiting the blacksmith, looking at the cows and pointing and finally heading back towards the mansion.

  
It was odd watching his wife and child without sound...seeing them through glass. He knew then, that he never wanted to be on the outside looking in. He was determined to always be with them. Have a real life.

  
Finally, Anna caught sight of him through the window and a warm smile spread across her lips. He waved and watched as she and Judith climbed the steps to the great house and soon she had entered the room.

  
"Judith has a new thing! What does a cow say, Judy?"

  
Judith wrinkled up her nose and stretched her arms out above her head, "Mooooooo!"

Rick smiled, remembering how just a few weeks ago, everything was a "shoe."

  
Anna kissed Judith's cheek and turned to him, "How did it go?"

  
"Getting our ducks in a row. Best shot we have at the moment...now we wait. I'm sending most of the kids and the older folks down the road to the cleared out town Jesus told me about...I feel like you and Judith should go, but I know you won't leave...and frankly, I don't want you to. I can protect you all here."

  
Anna shook her head, "We're staying here. We don't die, right?"

  
Rick nodded, "Right. What did Dr. Carson have to say?"

  
"Well, Judith is perfect in every way, so that is good. And I need to eat and gain weight. He's worried about stress and strength."

  
Rick nodded, Anna had not been eating regularly. At first she was so sick she couldn't keep anything down. But now...they had just been in so much danger...

  
"I wanna go talk to the blacksmith. Introduce myself. Why don't we go for a walk and maybe find some food...let's find Carl and Enid first."

  
They went back upstairs to find a small playpen and some blankets had been set up in their room for Judith. The look on Anna's face told him she was pleased, but also the she missed their home in Alexandria.

  
Truth be told, Rick missed Alexandria, too.

  
They found Enid and Carl milling the halls of the mansion "investigating" their new surroundings...meaning sneaking around.  
Soon, the Grimes clan had made it back outside to explore the gardening, the farming, the blacksmith stall and finally to have a proper meal. The farm was impressive, rows of corn and vegetables and rumors of strawberries in the summer. There was a small group of dairy cows, from which a family had aged cheese.

  
At the blacksmith, Rick introduced himself and his family to Earl Sutton, who was hard at work making knives and spears.

  
"So you are Rick Grimes...I've heard a lot about you."

  
"All good I hope." Rick flashed an earnest smile.

  
Earl nodded, "Yep. Just making weapons to help out the cause, if I can."

  
Rick thanked Earl and ushered his family out to the two, large rows of picnic tables where everyone had begun to eat. Daryl, Michonne and Carol were already at one table and Rick and his family sat at a table next to them.

  
They all made light conversation, even though they knew what was coming. Watching all the soldiers and residents eat together happily gave Rick a renewed sense of hope. Carol looked at him and said, "You okay, Rick?"

  
He smiled and looked to his family and back to Carol, "I just don't think Negan could destroy all of this."

  
Before that hope could fade, the alarm called out from the walls.

  
"They're here! Negan is here!"


	15. Chapter 15

Rick could hear Negan shouting to Kal on the wall, he wanted them to let him in...to wave a white flag and relent. Kal stood his ground, telling Negan that the war didn't have to continue, that they could leave and none of the Wolves would die.

Negan laughed, " If you don't let us in, I will kill everyone on that fucking wall. Now got get Rick, us adults got to talk."

  
Kal was defiant, "You have to talk to me right now!"

  
Negan laughed again, but then he ordered, "Fire away."

  
One shot. One shot was heard and Kal fell from his post dead. Negan yelled again, "Take that motherfucking wall down, boys!"

  
Engines started and revved, and soon a semi-truck burst through the walls. Rick yelled to everyone to run, to retreat to the mansion. Anna squeezed his hand and ran with Judith in the direction of the big house. One look from her, and he sprang into action and drew his weapon.  
The Wolves came barreling through and jumped out of their vehicles, hungry and ready to fight. Daryl, Carol, Maggie, Glenn and Michonne all looked for positional leverage, ready to drive their invaders out.

  
Rick saw Negan stride in, cocky and confident with Lucille over his shoulder, while turncoat Dwight flanked his side. The Wolves started shooting, and the townsfolk came under attack. The survivors at Hilltop retreated further and further into the colony, trying to gain ground and force out the Wolves or thin their numbers, and suddenly Rick felt it...and looked down to find an arrow protruding from his side of his back, just above the hip.

  
His instinct was to crumple, but instead he turned to see that his assailant was none other than the scarred, sneaky, Dwight.

  
Daryl and Michonne ran to his side and Rick waved them away, "We got to get everyone to the mansion. Did you find the cars I asked for?"

  
"Yup," Daryl responded.

  
"Go. Find others and wait until the Wolves get us to the house. Then give the signal to light them up."

  
Rick paired up with Nicholas and Aaron, and they helped him get back to the mansion. Soon they were joined by Jesus, who fended off an attacker by drop kicking him. The pain was getting to Rick and Jesus noticed it.

  
"We've gotta get you to Dr. Carson, and quick."

  
Nicholas and Rick hurdled toward the mansion steps, while more wolves descended. Jesus and Aaron fought some, while one managed to slash Nicholas across the back with his knife. Nicholas withered in pain, and Jesus caught him and helped him up the stairs where Carol was waiting for them to enter.

Carl and Gregory appeared and pulled the other Hilltop survivors in and bolted the mansion door behind them.  
An eerie moment of silence washed over the big house, until Negan's evil laugh rang out.

  
"You know that fucking door isn't going to fucking stop us, Rick."

  
Rick opened his mouth to speak, but then the lights came on. Michonne and Daryl had made it down to the cars and turned the brights on. Negan and his men were disoriented and blinded, and then he heard Sasha from the windows above scream, "Fire!"

  
Gunshots thundered from the mansion and Rick could hear the Wolves crying in disbelief. Negan called for his men to retreat, but not before half of their numbers were eliminated.

  
Rick slid to the floor, the arrow still sticking from his side and his hip and leg covered in blood.

  
"Rick? Rick!"

  
Anna appeared at the top of the great staircase and ran down, toting one of the sniper rifles on her back. She reached him and sank onto her knees to inspect the wound, "We need Dr. Carson!"

* * *

 

"Well, I'd tell him to take it easy and rest and to try not to rip his stitches, but you know that's not going to happen."

  
Dr. Carson washed his hands and Anna smiled faintly. Her adrenaline was still pumping, knowing that the counter-assault on The Wolves was successful. She had taken out at least four herself. Many had died and many others are wounded.

  
Anna was thankful that Rick would live to fight another day, but she was wondering how many battles, injuries and bleeding she could witness her husband endure.

  
She worried that he may not always be so lucky.

  
"I've got to go check on Nicholas and the others. Mostly flesh wounds. Make sure he rests at least a few hours, ok?"

  
Anna nodded and thanked , and as the door shut, she sat beside Rick on the bed. He was a bit weak from bloodloss, but he smiled when she stroked his face.

  
"That went well."

  
She chuckled, "We hurt their numbers, for sure. Those cars...the brights...was that your idea?"

  
"Yup."

  
"What would've happened if they were ballsy enough to attack in the daytime?"

Rick laughed, and then looked pained, "Probably wouldn't have gone as well."

  
They sat silently for a minute and then Rick sighed, "I knew Dwight couldn't be trusted. Jesus said he could, that he took out his own men when they bombed Alexandria...but then he did this..."

  
"Could it have been an accident?"

  
"I turned around and he looked me dead in the eye, Anna."

  
She nodded and realized how tired she was. How the adrenaline was about to ease off and how she wanted to cry. But she didn't want to cry infront of Rick at that moment, she wanted to be tough. Have a bit of resolve.

  
Rick squeezed her hand, "You ok?"

  
"Yeah, just...the exhaustion is hitting me. Adrenaline can only take me so far, I guess."

  
"The kids...they ok?"

  
"Hanging out in the hallway. Want me to go get them?"

  
Rick nodded and Anna went to the door and waved Carl, Enid and Judith in. The teenagers looked worn out, but Judy couldn't contain herself and clapped when she saw her father.

  
After a fitful night sleeping in their room alone, Anna took Judith downstairs to see Rick in the early light of dawn, only to find Dr. Carson in Rick's room, both speaking in low tones with furrowed brows. They both turned to look at her and she whispered, "Hey. Is everything ok?"

  
Dr. Carson stood straight, "Nicholas...and a few others...they are running high fevers...like they have some sort of infection."

  
Rick raised a hand, "Currently, I don't, so that is good."

  
Before Anna could speak, a knock came upon the door and soon, Michonne, Daryl and Jesus entered. They all looked remarkably grim.

  
Michonne looked unsure but spoke up, "We were cleaning up the bodies, and clearing out what walkers lingered by the breached gate...Ezekiel moved his busses in front...anyway...we found this."

  
She thrust out her hand to Dr. Carson, and she held a knife covered in dark, dried blood.

  
Dr. Carson peered closer only to draw away and rub his forehead in realization, "They contaminated their weapons. The fevers..."

  
Anna looked alarmed and then looked to Rick, who looked like he didn't believe the gravity of the situation.

  
"I don't have a fever. If I get one, then we'll worry. But we don't die...remember?"

  
Anna felt like panicking. That resolve she wished to maintain was slipping, if Dwight shot Rick with a contaminated arrow, there was nothing they could do.

It was a death sentence.

  
Instead, she nodded and held Judith closer to her. She felt Daryl's hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. Anna felt like crying, just crumpling to the ground and giving up.

* * *

 

Rick spent the rest of the day in bed, Anna never far from his side. She was trying to hide her worry, but it radiated from her still. He wanted all of this to be over.

She and the baby we're not benefitting from the constant stress of the war. He would not get a fever. He would heal and continue to lead...and most of all...end Negan's reign of terror.

  
Anna rubbed her eyes with exhaustion and he patted the empty side of the small bed beside him, "Come here."

  
She got up from her chair and eased down beside him, trying to avoid his wounds. Rick took her hand in his, "We're going on almost sixteen hours. No fever. I'm going to be ok, Sweet Thing."

  
Anna nodded, but did not look up at him. Tears shone on her eyelashes and she whispered, "I don't know if I can be strong anymore...or for much longer. This is going to break me."

  
"Anna...look at me."

  
She lifted her head and he saw it...she was tired, weary, worried and discouraged. Rick shook his head, "You don't have to be tough all the time. It's ok to let it down. But we are going to put an end to this. Mark my words. Negan thinks I'm dying, or I'm dead. I think Dwight shot me with a clean arrow...either to appease Negan's orders, or to give us the opportunity to surprise him. This is our chance. Dwight IS on our side. I see that now. After this is all over, we can make trade routes. Live in peace. Raise our family. I just need you to believe a little bit longer."

  
Anna looked at him and smiled through her tears, "I'll always believe in you, Rick Grimes."

  
She was so goddamn beautiful.

  
A knock came from the door and Dr. Carson entered. He looked tired and worn.

  
"Nicholas is gone. The infection...also Arnold from The Kingdom."

  
Rick shook his head, " I'm not sick. I need you all to gather everyone. Dwight hit me with a clean arrow. I know it. He has given us a huge advantage. We need to strike as soon as possible."

  
Later that evening, Rick stood at the top of the great staircase and looked down into the hall of the mansion where all who remained to fight had been gathered.

Jesus had told him where the Wolves were hiding, and also told him of a secret exit in the back gate of the Hilltop Colony, where Jesus, Michonne and Ezekiel would lead a group for a surprise attack. All they had to do was wait for Negan to make his move.

  
He looked to the weary faces around him and explained his plan. Once more he would ask them to fight. And once more he would lead them to battle, but first, he wanted to talk to Dwight.

The next morning, Rick and the attack group prepared to make a journey to speak with Dwight. Anna and the kids had come to wish him luck, and as they spoke, a booming voice was heard from over the walls.

  
"Good morning, motherfuckers! I want to speak to your new leader...now that Rick Grimes is no more! I know he's fucking dead, we shot him with a gunked up arrow!"

  
Negan had returned much earlier than expected. Rick turned to Enid, "Take Judith to the mansion."

  
He then motioned to Jesus and Michonne to leave through the hidden exit and then turned to Carl and Anna, "I need you guys up on that wall, cover me. We end this...right now."

  
Carl sprinted to the ladder while Anna hung back. She threw her arms around him and for a moment, the intensity of the situation fell away. He squeezed her tight, "This is it baby, our new life starts right now."

  
She pulled back and nodded, "I've got you covered."

  
Rick smiled inspite of himself, kissed her with ferocity and pushed her towards the ladder that led to the top of the wall, "To Hell and back, Anna."

  
His wife climbed up the ladder and called back to him, "You know it, constable!"

  
Rick took a sharp inhale and pushed the gate to the wall open himself. Negan caught sight of him, Lucille resting on his shoulder, and looked like he had seen a ghost. Negan looked back to Dwight, and Rick could see him adding things up for himself.

  
"You should be dead...or at least stumbling around like a biter."

  
Rick shook his head, "Well I'm not. And I am here to inform you, this ends now."

* * *

  
Rick and Negan stood toe to toe with each other, and the tension was suffocating...it charged the whole countryside. Rick stood straight, determined to show no signs of weakness. Negan laughed angrily to himself, knowing that his Lieutenant had betrayed him.

  
"So this ends now, you say? I don't fucking think so."

  
Rick put his hands on his hips, just above the holster and hilt of his gun, "Yeah. It does. Why are you doing this, Negan?"

  
Negan shifted Lucille on his shoulder, "I'm keeping everyone safer with these rules. Keeping people in line."

  
Rick shook his head, "You have got to be the stupidest person in the world."  
"What the fuck did you just say?"

  
"You are keeping no one safe. You're making it worse. There is only us and the walkers. We should be the ones banding together. Making trades. You want half of our supplies? Awesome! How about your people making my people clothes? Or finding materials for them? You don't have to take. We can all live together. We still can."

  
For a moment, Rick saw Negan's face soften, his usually laughing and cocky features diminished as he realized exactly what Rick was saying.

  
"Jesus. Fuck. You're right. I am the problem."

  
Even though this was the desired effect, Rick didn't trust it...or him. Lucille fell to Negan's side and he started talking rapidly, "I've been standing in the way of true progress. All of this time...we could have worked together. I've only been helping myself."

  
As Negan continued to ramble, Rick looked to the Wolves behind Negan, and saw his people hidden and ready to attack behind them. He stepped closer to his adversary, and spoke gently, "So what you are saying is...you have selfishly made decisions and you are wrong. You have been wrong all along. And they people who you claimed to help have suffered?"

  
Negan nodded, "Yes. I'm wrong...I see that now..."

  
"Good."

  
Rick smiled and swiftly flipped the small, deadly blade out of his pocket and slashed upward, cutting Negan's throat. Blood splashed his face and Negan looked surprised. His eyes widened and he instinctively placed his hand to his neck.

* * *

 

Anna's hand flew over her mouth when Rick slashed Negan's throat, but when the Wolves crept forward to their leader...she had them in her sights and was watching over her husband. Rick raised his hands, the knife glistening in the sun.

  
"This war is over. You can continue to fight, or you can allow our doctor to save your leader's life. It's up to you."

  
Before anyone could react, Negan regained his stance and growled, spearing Rick into the ground. A full on brawl ensued. Rick punched and fought and Anna could not get a clear shot. Her husband kicked his legs upward and Negan caught one in his arms and pulled Rick's leg the opposite direction it should go. His broken leg flopped in a sickening position and Anna heard Rick howl in pain.

  
Anna had Negan trained in her sights, but before she could fire, his burst of anger and andrenaline waned and he fell back to the ground and continued to bleed out. The team Rick had sent to attack the Wolves from behind moved in and engaged in battle. Anna slung the rifle over her shoulder and hurried down the ladder and ran out of the front gate with Dr. Carson not far behind.

  
When they got to Rick's side, he was awake, but unable to stand. Dr. Carson examined him and said, "Shit. We need to get him inside. If we don't get this set in place soon, he might not be able to use it again."

  
Anna felt panicked and Rick grabbed Carson by the shoulder, "I'm not bleeding. Save him first. Then me."

  
She shook her head, "No Rick. Let that bastard die. Let him die!"

  
Rick took her hand, "Trust me."

  
Dr. Carson moved to Negan and others from Hilltop flooded out of the gates to help. Anna watched as the remaining Wolves were rounded up and Dwight picked up Lucille.

  
"You can follow me, or be on your own. But Negan is no longer the leader. "

Anna felt nausea wash over her and Rick smiled through his pain, "We won, Sweet Thing."

  
She looked down at him, tears in her eyes and her heart bursting with love.

* * *

 

Daryl and Jesus helped Rick into the mansion, where Dr. Carson set his leg back into place, and Rick saw Anna nearly pass out from The sight. His leg was wrapped in the best cast that could be managed and Dr. Carson forbade him from leaving bed for at least a day. The doctor was unsure if he was going to use his leg like he used to without some aid from crutches or a cane.

  
Anna sat in the chair beside the bed and looked a mixture of relieved, sad and exhausted. Daryl and Jesus stood near the door and looked a lot like Anna did. Rick took her by the hand and smiled, "Why don't you get some food and rest. I'm gonna be ok. It's over."

  
She nodded, "I suppose I should check on the kids. Make sure Judith is clean and fed. But Rick, what will happen with Negan?"

  
He looked at his wife's teary green eyes, and then looked to his friends. They all wanted a sense of justice. He knew that. Hell, he wanted it too. He just wasn't sure a public execution was the way to go about it.

  
For some reason, it felt like killing him was letting him off way too easy.  
Rick shook his head and sighed, "I'm not sure honey. Figure I will let Dr. Carson tend to him and decide once he is awake. We should make the best decision, not the hasty one."

  
Daryl popped up from leaning against the wall, "Rick...what about Abraham? Morgan? Even goddamn Spencer? All those we lost in the war? He threatened and put us all in danger. As far as I can see...he should pay. With his life."

  
"I know Daryl. I do. I'm thinking we should sleep on it. I just think death is easy. Making a man like him live in captivity...in away cut him from his power..."

  
When he looked around the room, Rick realized that they all wanted Negan's blood spilled.

  
"What do you all want? His head on a spike? Have him drawn and quartered? Would that bring back any of our friends? Make things right?"

  
Everyone remained quiet, and then Jesus excused himself. Daryl sighed again, "You're the boss, Rick. I don't understand ya sometimes, but I know ya got your reasons. I'm gonna check in on our prisoner. Make sure no one tries to kill him."

  
Rick nodded and thanked him, once the door shut...it was finally just him and Anna. She got up from the chair and slid carefully into the bed beside him, on the other side of his horribly broken leg. She buried her head in his neck and cried. His arm wrapped around her and he did his best to console her.

  
"Anna...it's alright. We're alright."  
She shook her head, "I don't think I can bear seeing you get hurt anymore. Your poor leg...your side...all the knocks in the head. I feel so helpless."

  
Rick couldn't help but laugh, "I know. I'm thinking I should take some time off. Still lead, but maybe stay off the front lines. Have time with my family...that is unless we run into another murderous tyrant...you know...at the prison...I didn't use my gun for awhile. Herschel taught me to farm. I could go back to that...maybe."

  
Anna laughed inspite of herself, "I know you, Rick. You were meant to lead. And you're not going to be able to get away from it. And I love you for it. Maybe heal a bit. Maybe we won't have a reason to fight. Maybe we can just deal with the walkers for awhile...build Alexandria up again...deliver this baby."

  
Rick smiled, "What is it you say, 'from your mouth to God's ears?'"

  
"My nana used to say that all the time. That and 'God willing and the creek don't rise.' She had tons of sayings."

  
He kissed her forehead, and held her close, "Why don't you find the kids. Get some food and we can all eat together. Haven't seen much of you all and would love some normalcy."

* * *

 

Anna rounded up the kids, grabbed bowls of rice and beans and headed back to Rick's room. Through the evening, Carol, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Ezekiel and others stopped by to check in on her husband.

  
As a family they talked and ate, and everyone seemed relieved and happy. She even caught Enid smiling and laughing. So Anna thought it was a good time to finally tell them the news.

  
She took Rick's hand and gave him a look, "So, uh, kids...your Dad and I have something to tell you..."

  
Rick smiled warmly and finished her sentence, "Anna's gonna have a baby."

Carl looked shocked and blurted out, "But I thought she couldn't?"

  
Enid elbowed him in the stomach hard and he yelped and Anna smiled and waved it off, "It's ok...I didn't think it was possible...but here we are. It's pretty scary. But Dr. Carson said he has delivered three other babies since the outbreak."

  
Anna noticed Carl holding Judith close and wondered if he was thinking about his mother, and what happened when Lori gave birth to Judith...

  
"It's gonna be alright. We have Dr. Carson and soon...we want to rebuild Alexandria. Go back home."

  
Carl shook his head, "What about the Wolves? What if they try to repay us for Negan?"

Rick tried to ease Carl's worries, "Dwight is in charge of them now. He is a friend. He will do right by us. Besides, we are going to keep Negan locked up with little access to anything..."

  
Anna saw the anger flash across Carl's face, "Negan...you're going to let him live?"

  
Rick took a minute to respond, "Nothing's been decided, Carl. But I think killing him is too easy...and maybe not the right thing to do."

  
"Bullshit."

Anna felt her eyes widen and she gently chastised him, "Hey! Language. Don't talk to your father like that."

  
Carl got up and stomped out of the room without another word. Anna looked to Rick and felt bad chiding his son. Maybe  
it wasn't her place?

  
Rick squeezed her hand gently and they all continued their evening meal. Rick got to know Enid a little better, and that made Anna happy. Once it was time to put Judith to bed, Anna kissed Rick goodnight and she and Judith and Enid made the way to their rooms.

  
Enid spoke up softly, "I think it's nice."

Anna smiled, "What's nice?"

"You and Rick...having a baby. Maybe this place isn't the hopeless hell I thought it was."

  
She put her free arm around Enid's shoulders and she chuckled, "Jury's still out on that one, kid. But thank you. I think our little family is nice. Even when Carl gets pissy."

  
Enid gave her a quick hug and retreated to her room, while Anna changed Judith and got her ready for bed. Once Judith was asleep, Anna decided to peek in on Carl and maybe talk to him.

  
When she got to his room, he was no where to be found. At first, it didn't strike her as odd until it came to her.

  
Negan.

She sprinted down the hall and looked in every room that Dr. Carson used until she found Carl, hovering over an unconcious Negan with a gun. She stepped in slowly and whispered, "Carl. What are you doing?"

  
He didn't look at her, but down at Negan, "I told Daryl that Carol was looking for him. That I would watch Negan."

Anna inched closer, "You don't need to use a gun. You could smother him with a pillow. Less messy."

  
"He deserves pain. Violence."

Anna shook her head an placed a hand on Carl's shoulder, "I think your dad is right. I think he should be kept alive and powerless. So he can see what kind of man your dad is. How great a leader he is. We can show Negan how far we can go without a tyrant like him holding us back. Torture and pain doesn't have to be physical. Letting him die alone, old and in captivity is about as cruel as can be."

  
Carl turned around slowly, "I'm going to kill him, Anna. Maybe not now. But someday."

  
And with that, Carl turned and walked out of the room.

  
Anna took a deep breath, and tried to steady her nerves. A raspy voice called to her, "Hey there, Sugar Tits. You gonna be my nurse?"

  
She looked down and Negan's eyes were open, and he had a wicked smile on his face. Dr. Carson had him sedated and heavily restrained, so she felt completely safe.

  
"You should be dead, asshole."

Negan sighed, "Yeah. That little serial killer is gonna make me his first victim. I suppose I should thank you."

  
Anna looked disgusted, "I'm second guessing my decison to stop him. Why don't you just shut up and quit while you're ahead."

  
"Rick's not going to kill me?"

"I wouldn't test it, honestly. But he wants you to die alone while we flourish. Sounds dreadful to me. Worse than death. But if you call me Sugar Tits ever again...you won't have to worry about Carl or Rick. I will fucking kill you myself."

  
Negan smiled, "Jesus Christ baby, I bet you're a firecracker in the sack."

  
Anna made a fist and punched Negan hard, directly in his balls. He tried to buckle in pain, but the restraints wouldn't allow him. With a smile, Anna exited the room and went on with her night.

* * *

 

A month had gone by since Negan's last stand.

He had been locked in solitary confinement in the bowels of the Hilltop Mansion. Anna had begun to show and was on the cusp of being five months pregnant. Rick still wore a cast on his leg, his knee was in bad shape and he had to use crutches to get around.  
He spent most of his days with his family.

Judith was fully mobile and Rick was saddened that he was unable to chase her around. Anna helped to prepare and can food for the oncoming winter, and often delighted in working in the large garden and farming area. Carl and Enid shadowed Jesus around the colony, but they were not allowed to go outside on runs with him, but he did let them borrow books from his trailer.

  
Daryl and Michonne had taken up a lot of duties, as did Maggie. She had talked about staying in Hilltop for good. Maybe making a family.

  
Rick felt far from useless, he planned with Eugene and spoke infront of the whole colony about unity and progress.  
But his leg...it would never be the same. He would not be fast, and perhaps even a liability depending on the situation.

  
That afternoon, Rick and Eugene had been bouncing ideas off of each other, while Anna had gone to help with the food stores. Together, they had made plans for patrols between the three colonies...and with that came herding up and housing as many horses as they could find. Also, plans for a mill and replanting fruit trees in Alexandria.  
They hoped to explore and chart the surrounding areas before the winter came...and then begin rebuilding Alexandria in the spring.

  
Rick watched Eugene scribble in a notebook full of plans and blueprints...his ridiculous mullet had began to even out and his hair was tied in a low ponytail. He and Rosita had become close, but Rick could not tell if they had achieved coupledom.

  
"Eugene...I've been thinking. One of the houses at Alexandria should become a jail. Bars, cells, the full nine yards."

  
Eugene looked up, "Expecting more prisoners?"

  
Rick chuckled, "God, I hope not. But we do have a lifer. Might as well make it known and respected. If something happens to me, I want him to die in there as the world moves on without him. Got it?"

  
Eugene nodded and jotted down more notes. When he was done, he popped up and bid Rick farewell, "I'm going to check out what type of books we have on farming...if we have any. Same time tomorrow?"

  
"Sounds good."

  
Rick sat alone infront of the fireplace. Even though it was early fall, the weather had been rainy and cool. He was proud at how they had moved forward. The walker numbers had thinned a bit, but they had seen a medium sized herd headed in their direction a few weeks before. Rick wondered if they were like cattle and could be moved without endangering any of his own people?

  
He got lost in his thoughts, until a gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

  
"You far away, constable?"

  
Anna looked down at him, her features soft and pretty. She had a woman named Elise cut her hair to her shoulders shortly after their arrival at Hilltop. Even in the Apocalypse, she managed to be fashionable.

  
Rick pulled her down on the good side of his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Just thinking. Seems to be how I'm most useful these days with my bum leg."

  
"I promise you, you are the most popular person in this world. You're a bonafide Rockstar. You might even have a few groupies."

  
He couldn't help but smile and place his hand on her belly. Dr. Carson was happy with her progress. She managed to gain weight and eat healthy and still get some exercise, as the Doctor told her that was the best way to prepare her body and muscles for the baby.

  
Things had calmed down exponentially since Negan fell.

  
"Any movement today?"

  
Anna smiled, "Some. Bubbly feelings. I can't imagine what the kicks will be like."

Just two nights before, Anna felt the baby move for the first time. At first she was shocked, then amazed, and then she cried. It was the sweetest thing he had seen in some time.

  
Rick kissed her lips softly, and they lingered there for awhile. Intimacy between them had been tricky. They had to get creative thanks to a full joint and leg break on his part. The second trimester of her pregnancy had brought with it an out of this world libido that he wished he was one hundred percent physically so he could reap the benefits of it.

  
Anna stood and helped Rick to his feet and had no sooner turned to retrieve the crutches for him, that Jesus came through the mansion door with Carl and Enid close at his heels.

  
"I found six horses. Not too far from here. I'm taking Tara and Daryl with me to help round them up."

  
Rick accepted the crutches from Anna and did the best to dispel the thoughts of uselessness that had crept in. He wanted to go round up the horses, but couldn't.  
"Sound good. The quicker we train and start patrols, the safer the three colonies will be. Not to mention traveling between them."

  
Carl stepped up and pleaded, "Let us go, too. It's not that far. Barely two miles."

Anna shook her head, "Carl-"

  
"Son, we've talked about this. None of us are going anywhere until the land is charted and patrols are set up. Besides, I doubt Jesus needs two kids nipping at his ankles while he's trying to secure horses for the patrols."

  
"But Dad..."

  
"Carl...no...no more running off."

  
His son looked angry, as he had become used too. There were far too many people at Hilltop for him to sneak out and run off. Carl's wings were clipped, and he knew it...and this made him even more angry.

  
Carl stamped off, while Rick felt broken and useless, holding the crutches infront of the fire.

* * *

 

Anna knew Rick was happy that things had settled down, but he did not care for being injured. Even though he didn't say it, she knew that he wanted to have more responsibility than just making decisions and plans. He had been living as a warrior and protector for too long...something like that was hard to give up.

  
Later that evening after dinner, they had retired to their room and got ready for bed. Since coming to Hilltop, a new nightly ritual had begun, Anna would help Rick into bed, then she would change and dress Judith into the footed pajamas Dr. Carson had found for her since she outgrew her last pair. Once they all were in bed, the would read.

  
It was closer quarters for sure. Anna and Rick shared a double bed, there was a dresser, a chair and Judith's playpen all within a few feet of each other.

  
As Anna changed Judith, Rick sighed thickly.

  
"What's the matter?"

  
"I feel useless. I feel like a politician. Like Deanna Monroe. All ideas, no muscle."

  
She shook her head, "Everyone knows that isn't true, baby."

  
"It might not be true. But it's how I feel."

Anna had never seen Rick the way he was. He wasn't defeated, but he was restless. She knew he had become accustomed to fighting, running...certain amounts of adrenaline pumping. And while it had become less necessary to fight, he still wanted to be useful. She knew he wanted to round up the horses with Jesus. Chart the territory. Build...even garden and farm.

  
"You know, you'll heal. Maybe not in perfect form, but you'll be able to lend "muscle" to the cause. You just gotta give it time. I know that's easier said than done."

  
"It's not just me...Carl is testing limits...testing me."

  
Judith wiggled down to the floor from Anna's lap and took to exploring their small room for herself. There wasn't much to get into, but she liked toddling around on her own. Anna felt her lips pull into a smile and then shrugged.

  
"As far as I can tell, you and Carl are kind of in the same boat. You want to be useful, so does he. He wants you to take him seriously and let him help. Maybe...he could be given a job? Inside the colony, something that gives him purpose?"

  
Rick thought it over, "He's just a kid. I want to protect him."

  
"He's a teenager. And he has seen more at his age than any of us ever did. He's saved lives. He's headstrong, sure. But he understands this world, Rick. Maybe more than we do. He's gonna have to grow up in it. Be an adult in it. Maybe make a family in it. Let him do something."

  
Rick cupped a rough hand at her cheek, "Alright. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe with Earl or at the farm? Lord knows Jesus has got to be tired of him. What about Enid?"

  
Anna smiled, "Enid is a chameleon. She can make herself fit in anywhere. She just likes being on Carl's team. She's a quick study."

  
Judith toddled back to Anna and yawned when the latter picked her up, "Say goodnight to Daddy."

  
She watched as Judith snuggled into her father's chest and patted his cheek with her hand, "Ni Day-ee."

Rick hugged her close and his eyes shut briefly. Anna felt a pull in her chest, she longed for Rick's health and their home in Alexandria. There wasn't a day she didn't want to go back, but she had to be strong.

  
Hilltop was a nice place. But it wasn't home.

  
And so far, they have all had trouble adjusting.


	16. Chapter 16

**Savannah, 1995**

  
_"Anna, your mother and I are truly worried about the direction you are going."_

_  
She looked at her father, her arms crossed defiantly across her chest. She had bleached her hair bright yellow in the bathroom sink, in attempts to be more like Drew Barrymore in "Mad Love."_

_  
Her father, Gerald Callahan, was being a total hard ass. It's not like she went and got her forehead tattooed. She had been perfect in every way. Amazing grades, extracurriculars, dance classes, volunteering and helping out with her mother's D.A.R. events._

_  
And clearly bleaching her hair was what was going to usher in her societal decline._

_  
Her mother, Sonja, was pacing back and forth on the expensive carpeting in their Italianate style home. Sonja Callahan was dressed in tennis whites, having spent the afternoon at the country club. Not a hair out of place, immaculate, as always._

_  
"I don't know what you were thinking, Anna Leigh. But this is unnacceptable. What's next...pot and teenage pregnancy? Do you know what people will say?"_

_  
Anna was tired of keeping up appearances, being a perfect picture (or a perfect lie) and being groomed into her mother's legion of Steel Magnolia, Stepford Wife debutantes. She was seventeen years old. She wanted a little freedom._

_  
"It's just my hair, Mom."_

_  
Sonja spun on her heel and her eyes widened viciously, "Your hair is your crowning glory, Anna Leigh. Grooming is important. You're going to come out at the Savannah Christmas Cotillion in a little over a year! Nobody wants to see a debutante come out to polite society with acid yellow hair!"_

_  
Seeing her mother's unfettered rage, Anna couldn't help but laugh and mutter, "Screw polite society."_

_  
Her mother heard her and pointed up to her room, "Go. Now. You are grounded. For the rest of the goddamn summer. I'm calling Sandra and we are going to see her as soon as earthly possible. I'll tell her to make you a mousy brunette."_

__  
Anna stood up and ran upstairs. She couldn't stand her mother at all.  
She heard her father sigh, "Sonja..."

_  
"Don't you start with me, Gerry. If you had your way, our daughter would have no drive or boundaries. I know you are the 'fun' parent. But someone has got to be the disciplinarian. Anna is going to become a productive member of Savannah society. Not a raging, whiskey-filled alcoholic."_

_  
Anna slammed her door, she hated when her mother talked to her father like that. Gerald Callahan was a high powered divorce lawyer in Savannah...and Sonja never worked a day in her life, her family was Old Money in Georgia. She married well, bred well and socialized well._

_  
She wanted the same from Anna. Rather, she demanded the same from her._

_  
A knock came on the door, "Hey Kiddo. Can I come in?"_

_  
She said sure, and her father came in, his tie pulled loose from the pressed collar of his suit and the jacket removed. He looked exasperated. She didn't know how he had put up with Sonja for so long. Twenty whole years._

_  
"Anna, your mother and I are worried about you."_

_  
"It's just hair, Daddy. Comeon, not you too. Missy Stateler has a giant ring in the middle of her nose."_

_  
Her father sat on the edge of her bed and sighed, "Your mother wants you to grow up right. I've got to agree with her. You know, for you to come out at the Cotillion, it means a lot to her. Old Savannah Society means a lot to her."_

_  
Anna processed what her father said carefully and sighed, "Maybe I don't care about it, though? Am I supposed to live my life for my mother?"_

_  
Her father shrugged, "Who knows. Maybe you will like it? I know that being a teenager, well...it's natural to rebel against your parents. Just play along, for your mother's sake. She wants you to be a debutante so badly. You've got a year before you get to college. Get a nose ring, join some militant feminists...whatever. Just give her this year. You will understand when you have kids of your own."_

_  
Anna looked at her father and shrugged, "Fine."_

Anna had been thinking about her parents a lot. At Hilltop, with the war over and a husband that was less mobile than their toddler, time had slowed down significantly.

  
The last she had heard from her parents, her father had a fever during the outbreak. They probably never made it out of that beautiful Savannah Italiante home with the expensive carpets.

  
Her father had been right about one thing, that year planning for the cotillion had brought her and her mother closer, and she grew to love Old Savannah Society. The planned D.A.R. events together and became the perfect bookends to Gerald Callahan.

  
Anna often wondered what her parents would think of Rick. Her father would have loved him...her mother would have grown to love him...eventually. Sonja expected a lot from Anna, so she always wanted a well-groomed man with a family of good standing and excellent job aspirations for her daughter.

  
Phillip had fit the bill well enough, though her mother often complained about his introverted behavior at social gatherings.  
She also thought about what her parents would think about her pregnancy. About becoming grandparents. Anna and Phillip hadn't told them that she was pregnant, they were hoping that the outbreak would've been contained and life would have return to normal and then formally announce it. Her mother hated being told important things over the phone.

  
Anna had a lot of regrets, but not telling her mother and father that they were going to be grandparents was chief among them. Maybe that little bit of hope...

  
But it wouldn't have really changed anything. It would have been all for naught.

  
As she sat in the rocking chair near the fireplace in the Hilltop Mansion, Anna looked down at her pregnant belly and moved her hands over it.

  
"Sonja Grimes? Eh. Gerald Grimes? Absolutely not."

  
She didn't realize she was speaking out loud until a familiar voice answered, "Talkin' to yourself, Sparky?"

  
Anna looked up to see Daryl standing in the mansion's hall, dirty and rough from his adventures beyond the gates. She shook her head in agreement, "Just testing some names out loud. They were my parents names. I've been thinking about them a lot. I guess, I had thought that they would be here when I finally had a kid. Any luck out there?"

  
Daryl walked closer and sat in the armchair opposite of her, "Rounded up those horses with Jesus. Ended up snagging a few deer, too. Sounds like you been thinkin' a lot. You getting bored around here?"

  
"I'm afraid so. There are so many people here with jobs to do. And I think I got used to always being alert and being in danger...that now I feel so cooped up and coddled. I'm pregnant, not infirm."

  
Daryl chuckled, "Everybody just wants you and the baby to be okay. Ain't nothing like it used to be with doctors and medicine. Besides, we'll be heading back to Alexandria once it warms up. How's Rick?"

  
Anna shrugged and looked into the fire, "He's with Eugene. Planning the unification of the colonies. Trade routes. Building Negan a prison. He's not as bored as I am, but he feels like his leg is making him useless. I hate that for him."

  
"It would be hard for someone like him to take a back seat, he has been the leader for so long. Ya know, back at the prison...when all the bad stuff happened with Lori and the Governor...Rick didn't want to lead or make decisions. Like every one he made was wrong. We had a committee to make rules."

  
Anna laughed, "Was this the same time he had taking up farming?"

  
"Yup. Wouldn't touch that Colt Python. Just hoed rows with Hershel."

  
"I think I would've liked Hershel. Maggie's told me some about him...and Beth. I wish I would've gotten to know her more at Grady. But I had checked out emotionally, thinking that was it. That place...it felt like it took everything from me...then you all came. Saved me."

  
Daryl had looked at his hands when she had mentioned Beth and still didn't meet her eyes, "You saved yourself, Sparky. You chose not to give up...and Beth went out fightin'."

She noticed the sad look on his face, and regretted bringing Beth up. She didn't know if the relationship between Daryl and Beth was romantic or not, but he was clearly haunted.

  
As they all were.

  
Part of her felt like this new world may be more populated by ghosts than walkers.

  
Anna reached out and took Daryl's hand and gave it a squeeze, "You're a good man, Daryl Dixon. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm honored to know you. And there is someone out there who will think you're a knight in shining armor."

  
Daryl squeezed her hand back, "You're so friggin' sappy sometimes. Besides, I ain't lookin' for anything like that...but thank you all the same."

  
He rose from the chair and slung his crossbow over his shoulder, "See you at dinner?"

  
Anna looked up and smiled, "Sure. We'll save you a seat."

  
As he walked towards the great doors at the mansion's entrance, he turned around and said, "Not that it matters, but I always liked the name Daniel. Danny's a strong name. And Beth...maybe Elizabeth."

  
Anna felt the ridiculous sappy hormones take over and tears sprung to her eyes, "I like those names too. I'll put them on the list and see what Rick thinks."

  
She watched him walk away and thought about what her parents would think about Daryl, the man she had adopted as a brother, and knew that if they were here that it wouldn't matter. Polite society didn't exist anymore. Only survival.

  
And Rick and Daryl had become the kings of survival.

* * *

  
Anna sat on Dr. Carson's table, clad in only her bra and panties, praying that the check-up was going alright. She was closing in on seven months and was starting to feel large and conspicuous. The doctor told her that the migraines she was experiencing were normal, as were the ugly varicose veins she had found on her legs.

  
"So, since we are reduced to old school techniques, I need you to start doing a kick count."

  
Anna raised her eyebrows, "Ok. What's that?"

  
Dr. Carson smiled faintly, "Twice a day, I need you to count how many times the baby kicks in a two hour period. Less than ten kicks in that two hours, come to see me...ok?"

  
She choked on anxiety, "Alright. Is everything looking ok though? With the baby?"

  
He put his hands on her shoulders, "Everything is going great. This is a perfectly normal pregnancy. The only thing I would like to see progress in is your weight gain. You should eat a bit more. Definitely get more sleep."

  
Anna wished she could. She found herself staying up watching Judith and Rick sleep. Worried about every possible scenario. Her latest fear was a huge herd attacking like they did in Alexandria, and Rick not being able to run.

  
She had nightmares about walkers tearing her family apart before her eyes. She shivered and Dr. Carson took notice.  
"You can get dressed. You've had another successful appointment. You're fine, baby's fine. In about twelve weeks, bouncing baby Grimes will be here."

  
Anna felt a sad smile flicker across her face and she pulled up her maternity pants. As she pulled her button up shirt on, the door to Dr. Carson's office swung open and Anna jumped out of her skin and Dr. Carson yelled, "Dammit, Gregory! Knock! I'm with a patient."

  
Gregory leered at Anna and she quickly covered her chest and worked the buttons on her shirt. He looked unsurprised to see her there and actually looked to be quite pleased with himself.

  
A salacious smirk appeared on his face, "Oh, I'm sorry...Anna Grimes, right? Rick's woman."

  
She felt goosebumps of repulsion form on her skin and she hustled past him, he grabbed her elbow gently, "You just glow. Rick's a very lucky man indeed."

  
Anna said nothing as she hurried out the door and down the hall. She felt violated. Like he knew she was in the office and he had wanted to make her feel uncomfortable.

  
As she made her way to the main hall, she opened the front door and stood on the mansion's wrap around porch and surveyed the colony. It was early November and the cold had yet to set in. But the days had become gray and short.  
She inhaled deeply, trying to shake the uneasiness, when she saw Michonne, Carol and Rick walking towards the mansion. Rick sped up when he saw her, he had progressed well and was able to maneuver quickly on his crutches. Michonne and Carol were practically running behind him, he was moving so fast.

  
When he got close to her, she could see his blue eyes alight with worry. He had been sporting a mid-length beard in the colder months, which didn't really bother Anna that much, infact, she kind of liked it.

  
"Hey. You ok?"

He propped the crutches on the wrap around porch and reached out for her. Anna wrapped her arms around him and nodded against his neck.

  
"I'm fine. We're fine."

  
"What did Dr. Carson have to say?"

  
Anna sighed, "That it's a normal pregnancy. I need to eat more, sleep more and start counting kicks."

  
Rick touched her face and tilted her eyes up to meet his, "Well then, what's wrong?"

  
Anna didn't know if she should say anything about Gregory. Rick would kill him, as if he didn't already have reason to. She looked around and met Carol and Michonne's worried looks and she shrugged.

  
"Gregory walked in while I was finishing up with Dr. Carson. I was getting dressed. He just makes me...uncomfortable."

  
She could see the look on her husband's face turn from worry to sternness. Rick thought of Gregory as a chicken, a self-serving, spineless jerk after what he pulled in the battle against Negan. In all actuality, Anna was surprised that he had not been turned out of the colony after that little stunt.

  
Michonne looked like she could spit nails, "That creep. He leers at all of us. Maggie refuses to walk past him. She will double back and take a much longer route if she needs too."

  
Anna noticed that Rick had that look of vacant rage on his face, the one that she had not seen in some time. His hands pumped into fists at his side. Anna took her hands and cupped his face.

  
"Baby...he isn't worth it. You've got bigger fish to fry."

  
Rick looked down at her, as if he had snapped out of it and nodded. He took one of her hands in his own and kissed her open palm. He picked up his crutches and smiled, "I gotta go find Eugene...why don't you let Michonne and Carol take you back to our room so you can rest?"

  
Anna nodded, and as he walked away, Carol leaned in and said, "You know he is going to find Gregory, right?"

  
She nodded and sighed, "Yeah. I shouldn't have told him."

  
Michonne disagreed, "That rat should've been dealt with a long time ago. Don't feel sorry for him."

* * *

 

Rick could feel the rage coursing through his veins as he searched the mansion for Gregory. He hadn't been that angry in awhile, there wasn't really any reason for him to be. The safety and respect of the women in town was a good reason. His wife and unborn baby...an even better one.

  
In the months since Negan, as things had calmed down...he had felt useless. He didn't like to admit that he had grown to like fighting...that that feral part of him had become so important that it would probably never let him live in complete peace again.

  
This world had made him an animal, and despite it all, sometimes that animal needed to get out.

  
He spotted Gregory exiting the Doctor's office and followed him quietly to the end of the hall. Rick picked up his crutches and swung them in the direction of the back of Gregory's knees. Gregory was knocked off his feet and slammed forward into the corner of the wall. Rick hobbled over slowly and grabbed Gregory by the collar of his shirt. He pulled him up to stand and felt that anger wash over him.

  
Gregory looked stunned. He began sweating and howling, "Rick? What the fuck?"

  
Rick pushed him against the wall, his strong hands at Gregory's throat, "You walk in on my wife?"

  
Gregory began to panic, "It was an accident. Didn't know she was in there."

  
Rick tightened his grip, "Bullshit. You make it your business to creep women out. Leering at them. Making them uncomfortable."

  
"J-just compliments...your wife...she's a dime."

  
He squeezed harder, and Gregory turned the slightest bit purple.

  
"Talk to her again...one sidewise glance and I will crush your throat. I might not be in the best health, but don't let that fool you. Got it?"

  
Gregory nodded, "Y-yeah."

  
"In fact, you make any woman feel that way and I hear about it...I will rip your dick off and shove it up your fat ass."

  
"Jesus fucking Christ, you are a lunatic! This is my house! My colony!"

  
Rick punched him in the stomach and pushed him over on the floor, "Not anymore. Come near my kids, wife, friends...and I won't hesitate to kill you. I should've done it after the turncoat trick you pulled at the Sanctuary. You should be thankful more urgent stuff got in the way."

  
Rick picked up his crutches while balancing on one leg and took another look at Gregory splayed out on the ground. He felt like a lunatic, and if he had to admit it...it felt good. That feral part of him retreated, satiated for the time being.

  
When Rick made his way back to their room, he opened the doors to find Anna reading "The Mists of Avalon" on their bed, one hand resting on her pregnant belly.

  
"Where are the kids?"

  
She looked up at him, an odd look in her eyes, "Michonne and Daryl went on patrol. Carl and Enid tagged along. Carol took Judith. She thought I needed some rest...did you kill Gregory?"

  
Rick looked surprised, and Anna chuckled, "I know you, constable. That look. I know it."

  
"I didn't kill him. I just...roughed him up."

  
Anna smiled faintly and motioned for him to come sit next to her on the bed, "I'm supposed to keep track of the baby's kicks. There should be ten or more in a two hour time frame. Any less I have to go see Dr. Carson. But I don't think that will be a problem. A half an hour in and Baby Grimes is up to eight kicks."

  
Rick placed his hand against her belly, and after a few quiet beats, a swift kick landed near his fingers.

  
"Nine kicks."

  
Even though he'd experienced it with both Carl and Judith, it still felt new...and with Anna it was. It was like magic, and couldn't help but marvel.

  
Anna leaned in and kissed him sweetly, and before they knew it, clothes came off like they were on fire. Even being seven months pregnant couldn't repress her insanely self-aware sexuality and he was all too happy and willing to be consumed by it.

  
As they laid on the bed beside each other, basking in the glow of their coupling...Rick stroked her hair and she sighed, "I can't wait to get back home. To our house. In Alexandria. I feel so cooped up here."

  
Rick nodded, Hilltop definitely felt like a cage to him. And with dark winter days ahead, it was bound to become even more dreary. He smiled faintly to himself and pulled her close, "We should enjoy this time we have. Things are about three months from getting a whole lot busier."

  
"We can just stay naked in bed all day. No one would miss us, right? We can just lock the door..."

  
Rick smiled again, "Jesus Christ, that sounds like heaven."

* * *

  
Rick paced back and forth on crutches outside of their room. Dr. Carson was inside, examining Anna. She had been experiencing cramping all day. Carol waited with him and tended to Judith.

  
"She is probably just having Braxton-Hicks contractions. They are common."

  
He continued to pace, it was only mid-December. The baby wasn't meant to arrive for another two months. The weather had become perpetually gray and Anna's spirits had been low.

  
He felt Judith watching him and heard her ask, "Daddy?"

  
Rick stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at her. Her baby fine hair was in two pig-tails and she was wrapped in a crocheted blanket and donned pink earmuffs. Her big, blue eyes were filled with curiosity and worry.

  
"Daddy's okay, pumpkin."

  
She smiled and asked, "Anna?"

  
Rick smiled, "Everything is ok, Judy. Just waiting on the Doctor."

  
That little girl had his number, that was for sure. He was never going to be able to get too mad at her or tell her a lie. Just when he was about to start pacing again, the door opened and Dr. Carson appeared.

  
"I think they are just Braxton-Hicks. She's not in labor yet."

  
Carol smiled and gave Rick a look that said, "I told you so, dummy."

  
Dr. Carson continued in caution, "But I think we should limit her activity, just in case. So, I'm putting her on bed rest."

  
Yeah, Anna was going to hate that. She felt cooped up enough as it was.

  
"They should subside if she lays on her left side. Make sure she stays extra hydrated. Maybe rub her feet."

  
Rick nodded and thanked him and opened the door to see Anna, trying to breathe through the spurts of pain. He would've done anything to switch places with her and take away the pain.

  
"Hey Sweet Thing."

  
She looked up at him and looked like she wanted to rip his head off, "That asshole is putting me on bed rest."

  
For a moment, Rick wanted to laugh, but knew that Anna, in this condition was not to be trifled with, "Yeah, he just wants to err on the side of caution. Carol's gonna take Judith for a few days and I'm gonna take care of you."

  
Anna looked frustrated and like she was going to cry, "But you have so much to do...with Eugene. I will be fine. I don't want to burden you."

  
That made him smile, and he propped his crutches beside their nightstand and sat beside her, "Don't be silly. You're my wife. And I had a hand in this, so I am going to be here."

  
He kissed her temple and stoked her hair, "So what should we do first? Need a foot rub?"

  
Anna looked horrified and shook her head, "Rick, I love you to the moon and back, but don't ever touch my feet."

  
He looked confused, "Why not?"

  
"It's gross. And creepy."

  
"I'm pretty sure I've touched your feet before..."

  
"Yes, but super pregnant and bed-ridden Anna finds it gross...and creepy..."

  
He fought back another laugh, he didn't know if he could play it straight if she was going to be this hilariously unlike herself.

  
"Alright. Then what would make you feel better?"

  
Her breathing quickened as another contraction came charging through, "The book...on the...table."

  
Rick leaned over and picked it up, reading the title aloud, " A Movable Feast...Ernest Hemmingway."

He tried to hand it to her and she shook her head, "I can't concentrate to read. Will you read it to me. I need a distraction."

  
Rick wasn't ever really that much of a reader, unless it was for school or the Sunday papers. He enjoyed hearing Anna and the kids read aloud to each other. But he didn't ever join in.

  
Anna looked at him, sweat forming at her brow, "What's wrong? Go on."

  
He shrugged, "I don't really...never been too fond of...reading aloud."

  
She curled her lip upwards and looked like she wanted to rip his head off again, "You asked me what would make me feel better. You have an amazing voice, Rick. I want you to read about Hemmingway in Paris, goddammit!"

  
Rick couldn't help it, he laughed. Anna looked at him in disbelief and he relented, "Okay, honey. You win. I'm gonna scoot in and sit on your left side. Dr. Carson said that could help with the cramping."

  
He took off his shoes and crawled into bed, Anna rested her head on his chest and he read out loud. He had to admit, Hemmingway had a way with words.

* * *

 

Anna wished the pains would stop. Braxton-Hicks contractions, if that is what they were, were commonly called "false labor" and had been thought to be the body preparing itself for active labor.

  
It wasn't even Christmas yet, and her world had gotten smaller. Instead of being cooped up in the mansion...she was confined to a bed in a room in the mansion.

  
She hated it. She also hated the irrational way she was acting. But she was glad that Rick was able to laugh about it and didn't seem to take her too seriously.

  
Anna loved Rick's voice. That was the truth. And sharing something as lyrical and beautiful as Hemmingway with him felt like the most intimate they had ever been.

  
"You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintery light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person died for no reason."

  
Fall and winter had been hard on Anna. She couldn't decide if it was due to the pregnancy, the lack of sunshine, or being homesick for Alexandria, but she had noticed that she had the blues pretty bad. And that made her feel guilty.

  
She felt herself crying uncontrollably and Rick put the book down and tipped her chin up to look at him, "Hey...what's wrong?"

  
Anna kept crying and shook her head, "I've been awful. I'm so sorry."

  
Rick smiled at her and wiped away some tears, "What are you talking about? You're far from awful."

  
"I haven't been happy here. I just bit your head off twice. I am sure you didn't sign up for this."

  
"True, you've been a bit off...but you are going through a lot. I know that. This whole pregnancy and birth thing is no joke."

  
Anna sighed, "I just don't know if I can make it another six or eight weeks being trapped in bed. I wish we were at home. In Alexandria."

  
"The baby will come, you will get out of bed...I will graduate from crutches to a cane and the spring will come. The sun will be out and we can rebuild and go home. You can work in the garden, and we can raise our family."

  
Anna nodded, "What about the walkers?"

  
"We've got them figured out."

  
"What about other people?"

  
"They'll figure out fast that they messed with the wrong colony. Besides, Eugene and I have a lot planned. More protection and all three colonies connected. We've got this."

  
Anna nodded and Rick leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. He picked up the book and smiled, "Let's see, where were we?"

* * *

  
A whole month of bed rest had dampened the holidays. The first holiday season that Rick and Anna celebrated together had been highlighted by family dinners in the small, cramped room...Rick and the kids bringing books to her on loan from Jesus's library...and a fragrant pile of pine cones. Rick would take Judith out and find one to present to her everyday.

  
"Anna...pie-cone!"

  
It made Anna smile everyday, and to Rick, that alone was well worth it.

  
Rick was coming in from a day with Eugene. He had indeed graduated to a cane and he had gotten stronger. Snow had finally fallen, breaking up the monotony of consistently gray days. Kids at Hilltop had taken to building snowmen and snow animals all about.

  
As he opened the door to their room, he saw Anna in her pajamas sitting at the end of the bed, looking like she was going to get up. She looked at him, a scared smile spreading across her face, "I think my water just broke."

  
Rick almost dropped his cane, "Stay right there, I'll go get Doctor Carson."

  
He hurried down the hall to Dr. Carson's office and alerted him, as he got his bag together, Rick went to find Carol. He found her in front of the fireplace with Judith and Daryl.

  
"Anna's water broke. Looks like the baby is going to be a bit early."

  
Carol gave Judith to Daryl and asked him to find Carl and Enid. She followed Rick back to the room, where Dr. Carson was examining Anna.

  
"Well, water did break, but no contractions yet. So technically no labor. So what we are gonna do, is wait. The contractions should start within twelve hours. Here's the plan. We are going to clean you up, Anna. We have to keep you clean and dry to reduce the risk of infection. So I am going to have Carol help you clean up and change the bedclothes. Rick, we need clean towels and blankets. I will check in every hour. Once contractions get to be about five minutes apart, I will be here the whole time."

  
Rick looked at his wife's bright green eyes and saw incredible amounts of joy, realizing that her dream of having a baby was about to be realized. Carol set to changing the bed linens, while Rick followed Dr. Carson out of the room. smiled, "You should be an old pro at this...this is your third, right?"

  
He nodded, "Lori...my first wife...had c-sections."

  
Dr. Carson chuckled, "Oh, then this should be an adventure. Anna is gonna be a firecracker during labor, I promise you. Don't take anything she may say to heart and let her break your hand if she needs to."

  
"Duly noted."

  
Rick went to find as many clean towels as he could and then made his way back up to their room. Anna was sitting up and chatting with Carol. She looked so happy, his heart wanted to burst.

  
Carol smiled, "I'm going to go check on the kids. Let you guys have some time before it gets really busy."

  
Rick slid into bed beside Anna and pulled her to him. Anna smiled as he put a hand on her tummy and she asked him seriously, "Are you scared? I am a little."

  
He kissed her temple and shook his head, "Nope. We've got this. Dr. Carson seems to think it will be a normal delivery. And we get to meet our baby."

  
"Our baby." Anna repeated happily.

* * *

 

It only took six hours for Anna to get to eight centimeters dialated. The contractions were thunderous and they were just getting quicker and more painful. She didn't even recognize the sounds she was making, she sounded like a wounded animal. She was sweating and hot and Dr. Carson said it would not be long, that she would be pushing.

  
Rick stayed by her, holding her hand and rubbing her back through the pain. He looked scared once or twice, knowing this is the first time one of his children was being born naturally and without a c-section.

  
For a fleeting moment she almost felt bad for him.

  
Almost.

  
She then remembered that she was the one doing this for the first time. Without a hospital, modern medicine or any sort of drugs.

  
"Alright Anna, it's time to push, baby is on it's way out."

  
She sat up and Carol propped pillows behind her back. Anna reached for Carol's hand and she took it in hers. Carol smiled, and looked a little weepy. Rick held her right hand and placed his other hand on her lower back.

  
"Ready baby?"

  
He asked her gently, and she wanted to laugh...as if she had a choice. Baby Grimes was going to come out whether she was ready or not.

  
"Stay here at my shoulder?"

  
He nodded, "Nowhere else I'd rather be, Sweet Thing."

  
Dr. Carson patted her leg, he had a clean towel draped on his chest to recieve the baby, "Alright, push Anna."

  
She squeezed Rick and Carol's hands and bore down, sensing urgency and relief all at once. It hurt like hell, and pushing made her head spin.

  
"Head's out. Lots of hair. Ok, I'm gonna count to ten and I need you to push again."

  
It only took three pushes, the last of which was brutal and she made a guttural cry, that coincided with the first cry of her child. She immediately turned to look at Rick, his eyes bright blue and teary.

  
Dr. Carson was drying off the screaming bundle and placed it, red and fragile on her chest, near her heart. He smiled warmly, "It's a boy. A very healthy baby boy."

  
Anna placed her hand on the head of her son and felt him cry against her. Rick helped the doctor cut the cord, and Carol, while wiping her eyes of happy tears, bundled up the baby in another clean towel. Anna sat up properly, and accepted the baby from Carol.

  
She was shaking, and she looked down at her son. He did have lots of dark hair...and Rick's nose. Soon she was joined by Rick, and he kissed her gently, "Good job, Sweet Thing."

  
Her heart was going to burst. It could not sustain the intense feelings of love.

* * *

 

After Carol helped clean the bed again, and also Anna, Doctor Carson told them he would be back down in the morning, to see if everyone was faring well and if the baby and Anna were able to nurse successfully.

  
Anna requested an hour of just the three of them, before their other children and visitors came to meet the boy. Their son.  
Rick Grimes had another son.

  
He sat in the bed with Anna, one arm around her and the other arm cradling the baby. He was exhausted, and knew Anna had to be. He had never witnessed anything so intense as the birth of his third child.

  
The baby was so tiny, weighing in only at 5.1 pounds and a mere 17 inches long. He looked a bit like Carl did, thirteen years before. Anna smiled, "He's beautiful, isn't he?"

  
Rick nodded, "He is."

  
Honestly, beautiful didn't begin to cover it.

  
"So...names?"

  
Anna looked up at him and smiled, "I like Daniel. Daryl recommended it. And it stuck. Daniel Grimes...Danny Grimes..."

  
Rick smiled in return, he liked it too. It had a certain quiet strength to it. He looked down to the sleeping baby in the crook of his arm and whispered, "Happy Birthday, Daniel Grimes."

 


End file.
